


Edge of Night

by GerdavR



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M, Idiots in Love, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, background stormpilot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:08:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 91,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23684401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GerdavR/pseuds/GerdavR
Summary: After being rescued by the spy, Rose must work with him to defeat the First Order.She would do anything to vanquish them - even if it means cooperating with the infamous General Hux. The question is... how will Hux adjust being with the Rebels?
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Rose Tico
Comments: 441
Kudos: 227





	1. Unshackled

**Author's Note:**

> After the many encouraging comments from my last fics I decided to write another one :D I hope you like it! :3  
> I'm not using trigger warnings because they would include major spoilers. If you would like to know about them, you can send me a message on Tumblr ^^
> 
> Many thanks to my lovely beta [Fluffynexu](https://fluffynexu.tumblr.com/)!

Rose felt a cold, desperate bead of sweat run down her back. An ashen taste spread in her mouth as she marched forward until she reached a door. It slid open with a low hissing sound. She stared at the dimly-lit hallway in front of her, slowed her step and gulped. There was a small door visible at the far end of it; that’s where they were going. Their final destination.

The Stormtrooper behind her pushed her with his plasma rifle, she stumbled and brushed against Finn who was walking right beside her. She looked up at him, trying to catch his gaze but he only stared straight ahead, probably trying to come up with an idea on how to escape.

She gulped. It couldn’t end here. Not like this. Someone had to think of something! She turned her head towards Chewie, the tall Wookie was snarling - suddenly he whined and she could smell the stench of burned hair.

She glared over her shoulder at the Stormtrooper holding the remote to his shock collar.

“Eyes front, rebel scum,” hissed the Stormtrooper, her voice muffled from the helmet.

She pressed her lips together and resisted to look at Poe. He was silent and he was _never_ silent. She needed him to be cocky, to make a silly joke despite their bleak situation. It was absurd of course, there was nothing to laugh about. This was deadly serious.

Her heart was hammering against her chest, she could hear the blood rush in her ears. The only sounds besides that were Chewie’s silent whimpering and the boots of the Stormtroopers behind them making hard noises on the metallic floor.

Please, please… don’t let it end like this, she thought again, not knowing who she was even addressing with this prayer. Perhaps the Force? Rey?

Her breath became ragged when they reached the door, she felt cold. Her chest was constricting and she had trouble drawing breath. She blinked and turned her head towards Poe. He looked pale, but when he noticed her gaze he straightened himself and lifted his chin.

“I said eyes front!” yelled the Stormtrooper and pushed her so hard that she fell against the durasteel door. Her hands had been bound behind her back, so she had no possibility to cushion her fall. A sharp pain from her lip and the coppery taste of blood spread in her mouth.

She panted as she got up, heaved her nose and turned to spit at the Stormtrooper. Spittle mixed with blood left a reddish stain on the white chestplate of the soldier.

“You-” began the Stormtrooper but she was interrupted by General Hux who was standing behind the soldiers.

“There is no need for that, Sergeant,” he said with a crooked eyebrow. He tugged at his black leather glove, glaring at the prisoners with a haughty stare. The light behind his back made his face look harsh.

The Stormtrooper snapped at attention. “Yes, sir.”

Rose shot Hux a withering glare. This was the second time she had been caught by the Order. Last time he had ordered Captain Phasma to kill them and had strutted away with a sardonic smile. This time he apparently wanted to see it through personally.

The door behind her sild open, a cold draught brushed against the back of her sweat-soaked shirt.

Hux clasped his hands behind his back. “Get in there.”

She didn’t detect any gloating in his voice. He was very calm and collected despite having all three of them within his grasp. She had at least expected him to sneer at them.

The Stormtroopers pushed them inside, it took Rose only a moment to recognize the mouldy smell mixed with rot. Every trash compactor room apparently smelled the same, be it on Hays Minor, D’Qar or the flagship of the First Order.

“Turn around, rebel scum,” ordered the Stormtrooper who had hit Rose in the back.

Rose stared at the garbage heap in front of her. She felt sick to her stomach, this was really it. They would be disposed of like trash, a footnote in galactic history. She clenched her fists, it couldn’t end here - Paige’s sacrifice had to mean-

“Give me the rifle, Private. I want to shoot them myself,” Hux’s cold voice rang out.

Rose breath faltered, she wanted to reach out, take at least Chewies hand, look at Finn before-

Shots echoed through the room and Rose flinched and squeezed her eyes shut. Moments later she realised that she was still breathing, with a frantic look she looked at Finn, then at Poe and finally at Chewie.

They were all alive.

They turned on their heels, only to see three Stormtroopers laying on the floor, blaster holes in their chests, a thin runnel of blood seeping out of them. Hux lowered his rifle. “I’m the spy.”

For a moment nobody said anything, then Poe yelled, “I knew it!”

Finn frowned. “No, you did not!”

Chewie growled to agree with Finn.

Rose could just stare, unable to process the information. Hux was… the spy? The man who was responsible for Starkiller… a spy for the Resistance?

“We don’t have much time,” said Hux. “Pryde expects me back any moment. Turn around so that I can unlock your handcuffs.”

Poe went first, Hux pulled a code cylinder from his uniform jacket and freed him. After a short moment of hesitation Finn went next, then Chewie. Rose just stood there like rooted to the spot.

“Rose!” hissed Poe. “Come on, we got to go.”

She blinked and turned around. She shuddered when she felt his gloved hands on her skin, as soon as she was unshackled she took a quick step back and started to rub her chafed wrists.

“There is a shortcut to the hangar right down this hallway,” said Hux. He was still holding the rifle but it was trained at the floor.

He took the lead as they jogged down the hall and turned left at a small junction. About a minute later they stood in front of a blast door, apparently an emergency exit.

Hux quickly punched in a code and the heavy door started to move. They heard heavy footsteps rushing down the hallway.

Rose stared at the slowly moving door. Kriff! They wouldn’t make it!

Suddenly Hux shoved the rifle in Poe’s hands and stepped back from them. Before anybody could say anything two Stormtroopers appeared, training their blaster rifles on the Rebels.

“Sir! We found bodies in the trash compactor,” one of them said to Hux.

Hux nodded. “Well done, Private.”

He went to the Stormtroopers while Poe put the blaster on the floor.

With one quick movement Hux stepped behind one of the Stormtroopers and something dark and metallic slid into his left hand. He jerked the Trooper’s head up and slit his exposed throat. Just before he could turn on the other one, the Stormtrooper maged to throw his rifle around and shoot. With a scream Hux fell on the floor, clasping his upper leg.

Chewie roared and lunged at the Stormtrooper, breaking his neck with one swift twist. Poe grabbed the blaster rifle and checked the hallway. “Damn it! I don’t see anybody but maybe they sounded an alarm. We got to hurry!”

Finn knelt down next to Hux and tried to get a look at the blaster wound. “His leg is shot, we have to carry him!”

Rose quickly took one of the blasters laying on the floor. “Chewie, carry him - we’ll cover you.”

The Wookie picked him up roughly, making Hux groan in pain and together they ran towards the _Falcon_. To their surprise there were no guards.

“Is this your work, Hux?” asked Poe while he looked around.

“I changed the parol patterns to- argh, to-” he broke off, his face was scrunched up in pain.

They boarded the ship and moments later Poe and Chewie powered up the engines. Finn and Rose were in the back, helping or rather dragging Hux on the couch in the middle of the ship.

Rose pressed her lips together as she saw that Hux’s black pants were glistening with blood. Finn hurried away and appeared moments later with a medkit. He bandaged Hux’s leg, Rose wanted to ask Hux if he needed a painkiller but when she lifted her head she saw that he had fallen unconscious.

His pale face was covered in sweat with his usually slicked back hair hanging down. They jumped to hyperspace.

Hux could feel the cool wind in his face and the biting smell of burnt wood was in his nostrils as he stared in the sky. The brilliant, bright red beam before him made him shudder. With a jerk he woke up.

His leg was numb and his stomach was upset. Before he could even gather his bearings he realised that he had to vomit. He leaned over and threw up. His head was spinning and he let himself fall back on a thin mattress.

Only now he realised that he was lying on a stretcher. His memories came back to him - Pryde, the Rebels… those damn Stormtroopers who had been too attentive for their own good. The Stormtroopers… the men and women under his command. He had betrayed them - at least that’s how they would see it.

He closed his eyes and exhaled. It was all over now. He was the Rebel’s captive - they would certainly shoot him as soon as they had gotten every piece of intel out of him. Well, he had known the risks of helping them escape.

A middle-aged human woman with light skin and silver streaks in her brown hair appeared on his right side. Hux flinched and lifted his arms out of reflex. Only then did he notice that he wasn’t bound to his bed, there were no shackles, no handcuffs.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realise you were awake,” she said.

She looked down on the floor and Hux blushed. “I apologize, usually I have better self-control-”

“Don’t worry. A lot of people experience nausea after surgery - especially when the kolto isn’t fresh anymore.”

His eyes went wide. “The kolto… isn’t fresh anymore?”

“I’m doctor Harter Kalonia by the way. And don’t worry - kolto can’t turn bad, but it’s effectiveness can suffer a bit if it’s older than six months.”

Hux lay back down on the stretcher.

“PN-2, please clean up,” Kalonia said as she typed something on the pad she was holding.

A small cleaning droid appeared and started to do its job with beeping noises.

“The blaster bolt shattered your femur, it will take a couple of weeks to heal. I already injected you with nanobots to support in accelerating your healing process.”

Hux’s throat was parched, he gulped in vain to get rid of the bitter taste of vomit lingering in his mouth. “May I have a glass of water?”

“Ah, of course. Forgive me, my bedside manners aren’t the best.”

She stepped to a nearby table with a jug on it and poured him a glass of water. He rinsed his mouth a bit and drank the rest. He was tired and exhausted.

Kalonia took the glass back and put it on the table. “You should eat something, it would help with the nausea.”

That sounded sensible, he decided. “Alright.” A ration bar would also be easily consum-

“Okay, I’ll call somebody to take you to the Cantina… although it’s more of a hangar with benches to be honest.”

“Wha-” Before he could ask his question she was gone.

He looked around some more, the room looked like a med bay on a backwater planet: Crampy, old tech and ancient holomonitors. PN-2 made one last loud beep before it scurried away. Yes the droid wasn’t exactly state of the art either.

He heard footsteps approach and then trai- FN-2187 appeared. Hux set his mouth to a thin line. He was a traitor too.

“Heard you wanted to go to the Cantina.”

“Dr. Kalonia stated that I should eat something. I didn’t know that she wouldn’t simply hand me a ration bar.”

“Ration bars are reserved for pilots, the rest of us have to eat whatever the chef is cooking.” He stepped closer. “Come on, get up. I’ll give you a crutch and come along in case you need assistance.”

Hux attempted to sit up but it was surprisingly hard without being able to move his right leg.

“Want me to give a hand?” asked FN-2187.

Kalonia joined them. “Finn, why don’t you just-” she reached out and under Hux’s shoulders. Upon contact Hux jerked up and grabbed her hand hard.

“Let her go, Hux. She didn’t mean to startle you,” said FN-2187 in a calm voice.

Hux realised that he was holding her hand so hard that his knuckles had turned white, he also noticed the pained expression on her face. He let go, falling back on the stretcher. “I- apologize, doctor.”

Kalonia rubbed her hand, frowning at him.

“Don’t surprise him like that, okay?” said Finn. “We- they- the First Order teaches you that close proximity is dangerous. It takes some time before one realises that not everybody is an enemy.”

Hux blinked in surprise. He hadn’t realised that there are people in the Galaxy who didn’t mind if their personal space was intruded. He looked from Kalonia to FN-2187 and propped up on his elbow. He would show them. He wasn’t weak just because his leg was broken!

He pushed himself upright and grabbed his numb leg; after a few attempts he managed to swing it over the edge of the stretcher.

“I’ll help you to stand up,” said FN-2187, “too much pressure on the injured leg might make it worse.”

Hux panted, he was hot and feeling sick. He didn’t like the idea of needing help but FN-2187 was right of course. It would be foolish to refuse his help. He nodded.

FN-2187 took Hux’s left arm and put it around his neck. Slowly he pulled him up on his feet. Kalonia gave Hux a wooden crutch which he took. Odd, he didn’t even know that there were still things made of wood instead of alloy.

Slowly he put some weight on the crutch and took a small step forward. The crutch almost slipped away from under his armpit, but he managed to keep the balance.

“You shouldn’t move around too much,” said Kalonia.

“Come on, Doc, how else is he supposed to get to the Cantina? The hoverchair is out of commission.” FN-2187 crossed his arms and lifted his eyebrow.

Hux thought about saying something but nothing came to mind - what was he supposed to say anyway? He needed to eat and he wasn’t about to show them any weakness.

The way to the Cantina proved quite a challenge, Hux could only take small steps and had to pause from time to time. The crutch pressed into his armpit and his shoulder started to hurt.

FN-2187 didn’t offer his help and Hux didn’t ask.

Judging from the clattering of cutlery and the cacophony of voices Hux thought that they were close to the Cantina. He hesitated for a moment, taking a deep breath, making an effort to put on an indifferent face before he walked the last few steps and entered the room.

As soon as he stood in the room the conversations slowly died down, Hux was aware of everybody staring at him. The Rebels looked tired, some wore old Republic uniforms, others just civilian clothes. Most of them were too old or too young to be regular soldiers. They glared at him. He had been their most hated enemy for years, chasing them mercilessly, attacking their fleet on D’Qar, almost finishing them off on Crait.

And they had Ren to thank for their escape. Not him.

Yet here he was - standing in their midst. He couldn’t help but feel a shiver run down his spine, they would without a doubt scream and insult him on every occasion. Make his life - or what was left of it - hell.

Or perhaps they would just settle for jeering at him, goat their enemy who has fallen from a disciplined, powerful General to a traitor in a blood stained, wrinkled uniform. He had to resist to try to slick his strands of hair back, but in an attempt to show them that he wasn’t afraid he lifted his chin.

It had been a gamble and he had lost. He had hope that he would make the transition from a position of power… not like this.

The silence stretched out, when suddenly somebody in the back of the room got up - it was no other than Commander Poe Dameron. Hux gritted his teeth, perhaps he shouldn’t have come here. Dameron would mock him, perhaps even mention his moth-

“That’s our spy! I told you guys!” He pointed his finger at Hux. “I told you it’s Hugs!”

The crowd started to murmur and slowly one by one turned their eyes away from Hux and continued to eat.

Taken aback by the development Hux blinked a few times before he realised that he had to find a place to sit down. There were no empty tables and so he decided to join Dameron - at least with him he knew what to expect.

He attempted to keep a straight face when he hobbled through the Cantina to the table in the back. As he drew near he saw that Dameron wasn’t alone - with him was the dark-haired woman who had been on the _Steadfast_.

Hux chewed on his lip, thinking if he should sit down or if he should ask if the free seat was already taken.

Dameron grinned at him. “Come on, Hugs. Sit down, you look like death warmed over - you need to eat something.”


	2. Keeping Track

Rose put her spoon down and glared at Hux as he laboriously sat down. How Poe managed to be so cheerful in the presence of this man was a mystery to her.

On a rational level she knew that they owed him a lot - valuable intel about First Order ambushes, information about Kylo Ren’s plans in general and of course the fact that he had single-handedly saved them from a firing squad. But at the same time she remembered how he casually ordered Finn’s and her death on the _Supremacy_ after that snake DJ had sold them out.

She stared at the man in front of her, he was pale with a thin film of sweat on his face. He looked unwell.

He puffed himself up, despite looking as if he was ready to pass out. “Do I order the food or-”

“Actually you need to get in line over there and get it yourself,” said Poe, pointing to a small table where Sergeant Suta was handing out bowls of soup.

“Somehow I think that acquiring the soup would prove rather difficult with a crutch,” Hux said in a cold voice before attempting to stand again.

Poe got up and patted Hux’s shoulder, causing him to sit down and flinching slightly. “I got you, Hugs. You just wait here while I get the soup.” He disappeared before he had even time to see Hux’s scowl.

Left alone with Hux and Finn she stared her former enemy right in the eye. “You know, Poe actually didn’t joke when he said that he thought you were the spy,” said Rose.

Hux shifted his weight in his seat. “That’s impossible.”

She leaned back. “The senior officers had a bet going about the spy. It’s just… we were at our wits end after the disaster on Crait.” She grimaced. “Then a couple of months later there was this encrypted message with intel so valuable that we didn’t believe our eyes. It was almost too good to be true.”

“General Organa was distrustful but Poe - well, he believed that it was legitimate, good intel and not some trap,” said Finn.

Hux shifted in his seat again, looking uncomfortable.

Poe appeared next to Hux and put a tray with a bowl of soup right in front of him. “True story. And one point - I’m not sure if it was after the third message or so, we started this bet who the spy was. I said right off the bat that it was you.”

Hux scoffed. “I don’t believe you.” He stared at the soup. “What- what is this?”

“Root soup,” replied Poe. “Don’t let the brown colour fool you, it tastes good.”

Hux craned his neck to see what Poe had been eating before and relaxed a little when he saw the same soup in his bowl.

Rose crossed her arms. “You don’t trust us not to poison you and yet you were our spy?” She still couldn’t wrap her mind around the fact that General kriffing Hux had been the one saving them. It made no sense.

“I don’t trust anybody,” said Hux curtly. He took the spoon from the tray and started to stir in the soup. Then he tasted it before starting to eat.

Finn leaned back on his chair. “General Organa wants to see us in the command center.”

Hux immediately stopped eating and put the spoon down. He even sat up straight.

Poe grinned. “Relax Hugs, finish your soup. The debriefing is going to take a couple of hours.”

Hux looked as if he wanted to argue but then he just continued to eat. Rose crooked an eyebrow, he really must be starving.

General Organa received them in her office, or rather the small room in the back of the communication center they had set up only months ago. Rose noticed that somehow she had managed to make the room look welcoming. Perhaps it was the small round table with chairs around it or the potted flower with red leaves on her desk.

“General Hux, finally we meet in person,” she said.

Hux bowed his head a little. “General Organa.”

“Please, sit down,” she said and gestured towards the round table. Poe, Finn and Rose sat down while Hux struggled a little to find a way to pull up the chair while holding his crutch. When he sat, he exhaled and ran his hand through his hair.

“Tea?” Organa asked to Rose’s surprise. She didn’t know what she expected but it certainly wasn’t an invitation for a cup of tea.

“Yes, please,” said Hux.

“No, thank you,” answered Poe and Finn in unison.

General Organa smiled at Rose, there was so much warmth in it that Rose couldn’t help but to smile back. “Yes, thank you.”

The General turned to a silver protocol droid standing ready at the doorway. “Tea please, three mugs.”

“Right away,” replied the droid in binary.

“While we wait for the tea… how are you General Hux?” She smiled, but Rose thought that it didn’t reach her eyes.

“Doctor Kalonia is a competent medic,” he just said with a slight frown.

“Of course, but how are you feeling?”

“I-” he paused, scanning the General’s face. “Fine, I’m fine.”

The droid returned and poured them a cup of tea. Rose grabbed the sweetener and put a few pieces in her mug. Hux eyed her with something like indignation in his gaze. She glared at him and took one piece more than she usually did - just to spite him.

It was childish but something about sitting next to him grind her gears. The spy she had placed so much hope in… turned out to be _him_. Why did it have to be him?

Hux turned his attention back to General Organa. “As I’m not bound to an interrogation rack I assume that you are willing to keep your end of the bargain.”

Rose gaped at him - what bargain? Before she could ask, Poe said in an unusually serious voice: “Of course, we gave you our word. And you held yours. The information about the Supreme Leader and the 11th fleet saved a lot of lifes on Balmorra.”

Hux took a sip of tea. “Then we’re in agreement. I admit that I was worried you might go back on your word when you found out who you had struck your deal with.”

Rose felt a lump building in her throat. “What- what kind of deal is it?”

“The spy asked for a full pardon in the first communication,” said Poe. “We decided to grant it after the intel proved to be solid.”

Rose scoffed. “You can’t be serious!” She wanted to protest, to tell them if they had lost their mind - it was Hux after all.

“Sergeant Tico,” said General Organa, “we’ll talk later.”

Rose blushed and didn’t know why. She stared into her tea, unable to meet the General’s gaze. “Of course, General.”

“General Hux,” continued Organa, “I won’t waste time by pretending that we don’t need your help to win this war. But at the same time I hope that you understand that we have our limits. We expect you to support us against Kylo Ren but we won’t tolerate cruelty.”

“Cruelty?” asked Hux in a low voice.

“Come on, Hux,” said Finn. “You know exactly what we’re talking about.”

Rose saw from the corner of her eye how Hux sat up straighter. “I will recommend strategies - it’s up to you to decide whether you want to deploy them.”

Poe nodded. “Fair enough.”

Hux leaned back in his chair and took another sip. “If you want to win you can’t afford to be hesitant about certain tactics.”

“We can and we will,” said Organa in a firm voice.

Rose gulped, yes - she shouldn’t worry. General Organa would make sure that they would not leave their path.

So the Rebels still had scruples? Hux took another gulp of tea, a surprisingly good blend of green tea, and scanned Organa’s face. She seemed serious. How odd.

But then again… if they were ready to use the same tactics as the Order he wouldn’t be sitting here but screaming from the top of his lungs in some torture chamber. That’s why he was here, wasn’t it? Because he hop- he calculated that they were different.

As if on cue General Organa leaned back and said: “In your very first transmission you said that you wanted to leave the Order. You never elaborated on that.”

He grimaced. “The First Order changed. I was never under the illusion that it was a,” he scoffed, “an _idealistic_ organisation. But there used to be procedures and our path was clear. Snoke was whimsical and at times illogical but he kept out of our day-to-day business. Ren… well, he’s chaos.”

“You deserted because it was too chaotic for your taste?” asked FN-2187 with a frown. “And we’re supposed to believe that?”

Hux glared at him. “There was no deeper reason for my decision to supply you with the intel. Chaos breeds insecurity and one of these days Ren would have snapped my neck for questioning his orders.”

He was being truthful… in a way. It had been getting harder to keep his work schedule, he felt like he was struggling in vain against an immovable object. And he was tired, so damn tired of the ignorance, the casual way Ren used the Force to shut him up more or less violently. Anything was better than Ren.

He cleared his throat. “So, in what capacity shall I support you?” he asked. “You need to be specific.”

General Organa gulped. For the first time she was hesitant. “What is Kylo Ren looking for?”

“He and his Knights are looking for Sith relics. Specifically for the power source of the Sith Emperor,” said Hux without missing a beat. “There is supposed to be a map to some Sith temple.”

Organa frowned. “Why is he looking for a new power source?”

Hux shrugged. “I don’t know. I assumed it has to do with his obsession for Darth Vader. Rumour has it that he has Vader’s melted mask in his quarters. Some in High Command say he even talks to that thing.”

For a moment he thought that Organa looked shocked but the expression disappeared so fast from her face that he wasn’t sure if he had really seen it.

“Is he unstable?” she asked, her voice sounding sharper than before.

Hux scoffed. “Of course he’s unstable. He has the entire Order at his disposal and yet he still throws tantrums and goes on lone missions instead of ruling.” He thought about it for a moment. “On second thought… he is not unstable, it’s more like he’s haunted. He even wears that mask again.”

“Does this obsession impair his ability to make rational decisions?” asked FN-2187.

Hux wanted to tug at his gloves only to discover that he wasn’t wearing them. He folded his hands. “Sometimes. Ever since Crait he seems to be calmer in a way but he never explains his actions to the War Council. I had the impression that he is following a plan nobody knows about.”

“It’s too bad that we don’t have a spy in the Order anymore,” said Poe. “How are we supposed to keep track of Ren now?”

Hux mused about it, it was true of course. It was sensible to keep tabs on Ren - even if he was chasing ghosts on some backwater planets. The command structure in the Order depended on the Supreme Leader, if he wasn’t available it was possible to gain a tactical advantage.

“Hux?”

He blinked. “Pardon?”

“I think that question was meant for you,” said Organa.

He frowned. “Ah, well. I suggest tracking his shuttle - it’s an upsilon-class command ship.”

“I know the model, SJFS-200a sublight ion engines and signal jammers, right?” Sergeant Tico chimed in.

Hux crooked his eyebrow. It seemed that Tico was actually competent. “Indeed, the signal jammers usually prevent any tracking - they’re updated EPA-9-jammers, they-”

“... deflect any tracking device, I know.”

“Please don’t interrupt me,” snapped Hux.

“Seems Ren isn’t the only one throwing hissy fits,” replied Tico cooly.

Hux pressed his lips together. What impertinence!

“And how are we supposed to track it with the jammers in place?” asked Poe. “Can we sabotage them?”

Hux shook his head. “Theoretically it’s possible but someone has to infiltrate the shuttle and insert a data spike manually.”

“Damn it!” exclaimed FN-2187. “Ugh, isn’t there another way? I’m not keen on getting caught again.”

Ah, probably another question for him. Why the Rebel didn’t just ask straight questions was a mystery to him but he had to keep his end of the bargain. “We could reverse-engineer the hyper-space tracker to follow his ship.”

The Rebels stared at him jaw-slacked. He frowned. What was it now?

“What- what is it based on?” asked Tico. “The programming I mean.”

“It’s running on Kolmogorow’s axiom of probability to calculate the most likely destination. With enough data it should be possible to predict Ren’s movements based on trajectory and energy output.”

“But we don’t have the plans for the hyper-space tracker. And I don’t suppose that you have them with you?”

“No, I do not. But I could reconstruct them from memory - or at least I could reconstruct parts of it.” He took another sip of tea. “Provided with enough time of course.”

“You-” began Dameron, then he stopped and took a deep breath. “Why didn’t you say so from the start?”

“You didn’t ask.”

Dameron gulped. “Rose?”

Tico rubbed her chin. “We would need the programming and a computer core with enough processing power to keep up with the jumps. If he has the plans it’s possible but we don’t have the same resources as the Order.” She smacked her lips. “How many BYU-processors? Twenty?”

Hux crookes his eyebrow. “Twenty-two. And an AXIOS-motherboard.”

“Hmmm, what about a coupled L8-motherboard?”

“Augmented perhaps… yes.”

“And what about-”

General Organa cleared her throat and Tico fell silent. “Rose, please show General Hux the tech lab. I want you two to come up with a workable tracker as fast as possible.”

“Yes, General,” she said.

Hux merely nodded.

“And show General Hux to his- to his quarters.”

He registered her hesitation. So he wasn’t being kept prisoner in a cell? “Am I free to move?”

“You are,” said Organa to his surprise. “For the sake of transparency, we implanted a chip in your leg in order to know your whereabouts. So in a way you are not free to move.”

He nodded, that made sense. “I see. I’m not much of a flight risk anyway - at least not now.”

“I’m aware that I’m putting us at risk by letting you roam free but as already said - we need all the help we can get.”

“Can you guarantee my safety on the base?” Her answer would be interesting. She couldn’t possibly promise that and at the same time not promising it would mean to admit that she hadn’t complete control over her soldiers.

She gave him a thin smile. “You know I can’t. Not after everything you did. Looking for weaknesses in my leadership, are you?”

He felt caught. “I was just curious.” He should have known that a seasoned leader like General Organa would know exactly what he was trying to find out. “I apologize for my lack of finesse, General.”

She got up and her underlings followed suit. “No need, General. Meeting adjourned.”

FN-2187 and Dameron said their goodbyes in front of Organa’s office and Hux was left alone with Sergeant Tico. She was about two heads smaller but she glared at him with defiance.

“Let’s go, Hux.” She turned on her heel and stormed away.

He did his best to follow her but he was too slow, he gritted his teeth and did his best to catch up to her. His shoulder started to hurt from the exertion and when he tried to take a bigger step his crutch slipped and he fell. In the last second he managed to fall on his left knee instead of his injured right leg. A sharp pain seared through his left kneecap and he swore under his breath.

Damn it! Weak, ridiculous! What a sight he must be - the infamous General Hux, laying on the floor on some dirty Rebel base. He jerked his head up when he heard steps closing in. A dark-skinned human woman in an orange pilot outfit stood before him.

He gritted his teeth, ready to give a biting retort to any insult the woman could possibly muster.

“Come on, I’ll help you up,” she said and presented him with her hand.

His anger trickled away and he couldn’t help but stare at her outstretched hand. In the end he followed an impulse and took it.

The woman helped him onto his feet as he leaned on the wall, she handed him his crutch.

He felt silly and barely managed to look her in the eye. “Thank you.”

She just shrugged. “You looked like you needed help.”

“Er, yes. It’s not easy to-” he broke off, not knowing what to say next.

She shifted her weight, looking suddenly less sure of herself. “You helped me too… in a way.”

“What?”

“You’re the First Order spy, aren’t you?” She gestured toward his black uniform. “Either that or you have a horrible taste in clothing.”

“Yes, I was the spy.”

“My squadron was about to take off for Balmorra. So I guess your intel saved us.”

Hux didn’t know what to say, he hadn’t anticipated that he would be confronted with something like this. How curious.


	3. Rough Draft

Rose arrived at the tech lab feeling uneasy. She turned around and looked down the hallway, Hux was nowhere to be seen. She rubbed her hands on her overalls. It had felt good in the moment, leaving Hux to scramble behind her, but now she felt silly.

She thought he would swear and be right behind her but it seemed that she lost him. Should she go back to look for him? No, that was embarrassing. But what else was there?

She felt heat crawl up her cheeks as she walked back.

Rose turned around the corner and saw Hux leaning against a wall, talking to Captain Eniola. Why- why was he talking to her?

She crossed the hallway and stopped next to them.

Eniola noticed her. “Ah, Rose. I- uh just- I should get going.” She left quickly.

“What was that about?” asked Rose.

Hux pushed himself away from the wall and wiped over his uniform. “I fell and she helped me up,” he pressed out.

She felt a pang of guilt. “Oh, I didn’t mean to-”

“Of course you did. You wanted to humiliate me and you succeeded. Congratulations,” he said evenly. “Can we go to the tech lab now?”

She didn’t know what to say and just led him into the tech lab. She took care not to walk too quickly this time and noticed he was getting tired rather fast.

When they arrived she pulled a chair next to the holo table and waited for him to sit down. He looked exhausted and pale… well, paler than usual.

“Are- are you in pain? Do you want me to get Dr. Kalonia?” she asked.

“Let’s just get to work,” he said in a low voice. “Do you have a spare pad?”

“Of course, here you go.” She gave him one of hers. “It’s got the INDD program on it. It’s not the latest version but it works.”

“Thank you, it will suffice.” He activated it and moments later he was typing into the pad.

Rose decided that she would work on her own projects - stars knew that there was enough work without trying to reverse engineer a complex program from scratch.

She went to her work bench and grabbed her hydrospanner. She sat down in front of a BB-77 unit and started to recalibrate its astro charts.

After a couple of hours she started to feel thirsty and she stretched until her joints cracked. Only when her sights fell on Hux did she realise that they’d been working without a break. Damn it, Dr. Kalonia would scold her if she knew.

“Uh, you want to take a break or something?” she asked.

He jerked his head up, revealing that he was looking even more tired than before. He rubbed over his eyes. Then he pressed his lips together. “No.”

Why was he so pig-headed? He was obviously in need of a break. “Well, I’m getting a cup of caf from the Cantina.”

He frowned, visibly confused. “Alright.” Then he turned his attention back to the pad and continued to work.

She exhaled and rubbed her oily hands clean on a rag before she got up and headed to the Cantina. When it was her turn to pour herself a mug, she hesitated shortly before taking a second cup.

She grimaced a little. Hux would certainly like it, that she was bringing him a beverage like she was his servant. Perhaps she should just leave him be? No, that felt silly too.

She also took a bottle with iced tea, crammed it into one of the pockets of her overalls and went back to the tech lab.

She put the mug and the bottle on the table near him. “Brought you something.”

He looked up for a moment and his scowl faded. “Ah, thank you, Sergeant.”

They went back to work, this time Rose kept track of the time. She had no idea how long Hux was supposed to work but she got the feeling that it wouldn’t help anybody if he wore himself out on the first day. After all he had to write a rough draft and then add the details. It was bound to take a few days at least.

At 18:00 sharp she cleared her throat. He only looked up after the second attempt to get his attention.

“I’ll show you your quarters now - I got a message from our quartermaster.” Truth be told she received that message hours ago but he didn’t need to know that.

“I can still work,” he said while barely suppressing a yawn.

“Then take the pad with you, you don’t need to work here.” Now that she thought about it, it made more sense when he worked on his own. It was not like he needed her anyway.

He nodded. “That sounds reasonable, Sergeant Tico.”

“I’ll forward the message to you, just in case.” Rose chose the other pad as recipient and sent him the mail. “Okay, let’s go. Dinner starts at 18:30, after 20:00 it’s only cold plates.”

She led him to the part of the base where officers had their rooms, perhaps the upper brass thought he would be safer here than with the grunts. She punched in the code and entered the small room. It was basically a grey cube with a bed in it. The walls bore signs of tape - perhaps the previous owner had posters. She herself decorated her quarters with holoflowers to lift the depressing mood radiating from the concrete walls.

“The bed and a wash basin are in here, showers are at the end of the hallway.” He would no doubt complain. She huffed. “It’s a step down from your old quarters I imagine but-”

“It’s enough,” he interjected and let himself fall on the bed. He looked exhausted.

“Uh, well, okay.” Rose blinked. “I’m off then. I usually start to work at 7:00 in case you need anything.”

He nodded and she left.

Back in the hallway she wondered if he would find the Cantina for dinner; the base itself wasn’t large but the layout wasn’t easy since it had been a hideout for spice smugglers. Well, it wasn’t her problem, was it? She hesitated shortly before she returned to the lab to work some more.

“How was it?” Finn asked when she sat down with her dinner.

Rose shrugged. “We didn’t talk much, he just started to work until he almost fell from his chair.” She took the fork and pointed at Finn. “And you know what? When I asked him if he needed a break he just said no, despite looking all pale and tired. Weird.”

“The First Order is a snake pit, from what I heard the officers are all like that - eat or be eaten,” he said while wiping his mouth with a napkin. “He’ll work himself to death before he takes a break.”

“Well, at least he’s working for us now.” She started to eat the pasta.

“I don’t know about that. Guys like him only work for themselves - that’s what I told General Organa when we brought him in. We can’t trust him.”

She chewed and thought about what Finn had said. It was true of course. Hux may look pale and fragile but he was still dangerous, there was a reason why someone this young had become General. “I know. You think it’s a mistake to let him roam free on the base?”

“No, there is no point in locking him up. He was helping us, stars - he _saved_ us. We need to utilize what we can… we just shouldn’t forget who he really is.”

Hux appeared in the doorway of the Cantina, he looked tired and stressed. “Speaking of the devil…”

Hux regretted his decision to get dinner the moment he entered the Cantina. Like the last time people stared at him, probably silently laughing at his appearance. If only he had access to his hair products - or at least a clean uniform.

He pulled the corners of his mouth down. Well, it was nothing new. It had been a few years since the academy but he still knew how to play this - he straightened his back and hobbled towards an empty table in the back, near the counter where the food was handed out.

He sat down to catch his breath, while pretending to read something on the pad Sergeant Tico had given him. From the corner of his eye he saw that there were noodles on the menu, at least the cook was handing something out that looked like that. It should be possible to get a plate even with the crutch - of course he couldn’t take a glass of water. He would just spill it. He could drink later in his quarters.

He waited a few moments before he got up and queued in line. He braced himself when it was his turn. The cook - a skinny, bearded Zabrak - frowned a little. Ah, now he would insult him, probably calling him a waste of space, not worthy-

“How are you supposed to carry your food with that crutch?”

“I can manage,” Hux said slowly, insecure of what would follow next. What now? He hadn’t expected that he would refuse him the food. Well, if that was the case he just would-

“Go sit down, I’ll bring it to you,” the cook said with a sigh.

Hux gaped at the man as he ladled noodles on a plate. Puzzled he hobbled back to his table, followed by the cook. He sat down, grimacing as he felt a sharp pain in his leg - it seemed that the painkillers were wearing off.

“Here you go,” said the cook and put the plate on his table. Then he went back and brought him a fork and glass of water.

“Thank you,” said Hux quietly. He watched the man go back to the counter. He lowered his gaze to the food in front of him. Huh, that was easier than expected. Or had he put something in his food while he wasn’t watching?

He poked around in the noodles, but didn’t see anything suspicious. Slowly he began to eat. The taste wasn’t bad, in fact it was quite good. He activated the pad and scrolled through his notes as he continued to eat.

“There you are,” said a female voice.

Hux looked up and saw a middle-aged, olive-skinned human woman with dark hair standing in front of him. She was tiny but he radiated calm authority. She put her hands on her hips. “I was looking for you, Hux.”

Hux gulped the food down. “Why?”

“I’m the quartermaster. I’m supposed to issue you some clothes, so I wanted to ask you about your measurements. But seeing you up close I already know that nothing regular is going to fit.”

He felt heat crawl up his cheeks.

“I’ll drop off some clothes later, can’t have you running around in this torn uniform of yours.” She leaned down to him. “Black isn’t your colour anyway. Not with your complexion.”

“The colour is hardly of any importance,” he said in an attempt to appear calm.

She just shrugged and continued to the next table where she patted a pilot on her back, saying something unintelligible.

He observed her and noticed that she was stopping at almost every table, smiling and talking to people. Perhaps she was trying to gauge the mood of the troops? It made sense for her since she was in charge of food and housing.

In the Order quartermasters almost always knew who was about to be sent for reconditioning - at least according to the Internal Security reports he used to receive. There was no reconditioning in the Resistance was there? Hux wondered what they were doing with those who didn’t follow orders.

Suddenly he heard laughter, the sound made him turn around - of course Dameron, Tico and FN-2187. Dameron put his hand on FN-2187’s shoulder as he laughed. Hux pressed his lips together and turned away. Unnecessary colloquialisms.

He read some more on his pad and finished his dinner before he returned the plate to the food station and went back to his quarters.

About an hour later someone knocked on his door. He sat up on the bed and limped to the door to answer it. As expected it was the quartermaster.

She handed him a bundle of clothes and a small box. “Found something that should fit you. In the box you’ll find underwear, socks and so on.”

He inspected the bundle, it contained dark blue and green shirts, sweaters, a few black T-shirts, and two pairs of dark grey trousers.

“And here-” to his surprise she handed him a holocom device. “- so you can communicate with- well, whoever.”

“Thank you,” said Hux while he took it. “I’m frankly surprised that you would give me a communication device.” It was strange; they weren’t trusting him, were they?

“I said the same to be honest, but General Organa said that you could rig a communication device at any time - so there is that.”

Organa was right of course. If they were allowing him free access to tech he could just build a communication device if he really wanted. He just hadn’t expected them to be so straightforward about it.

“Well, I’m off then,” she said and left.

He closed the door and turned the holocom in his hand. It was an older model, again he was surprised at the ancient tech the Rebels were using. Well, he could replace some chips and update it, it should be easy enough… but what was the point?

He frowned. Silly. There was nobody he would call anyway and nobody would call him, they had implanted a chip in his leg. They could always find him if they wanted.

What kind of chip was it anyway? Judging by the tech he had seen it was possibly an older tracking chip - a LM-345 perhaps. Depending on how deep it was buried in his leg it should theoretically be possible to neutralize it with a concentrated EMP-signal.

Well, it didn’t matter. He had no place to go.

He sat down on the bed and leaned against the wall. He stared at the bare wall across from him.

It was odd how little he missed the Order. He thought he might miss the structure or even his power but he didn’t. Perhaps it was because of his demotion under Ren. He lost true power a long time ago.

He chose to suppress the anger he felt at the very thought of that moron. He took the pad and continued to work.


	4. Gap in Education

Rose yawned as she shuffled to the lab in the morning. She really shouldn’t work so late - she was exhausted and felt like she hadn’t slept at all. Perhaps she had to take a double caf in an hour or so.

She entered the lab and went to her workplace. She scrolled through her messages while yawning again. Kaydel Ko wanted her to look at some of the ion cannons of the fighters. Some of the pilots complained about the weapons getting weaker.

She cursed under her breath. That was bad. If they weren’t able to punch through the shielding they were pretty much useless. Crap, she always feared that overclocking old chips might pose a problem some day. She just hoped that the Order was gone by then-

The door to the lab slid open and Hux hobbled in. He seemed taken aback to see her. “Sergeant Tico,” he said and nodded at her.

He wore a dark blue shirt and sleek dark pants instead of his uniform. The only reminder of his uniform were his boots. His hair wasn’t slicked back. He looked… different. Without the shoulder pads and the jodhpurs he looked thin, almost too thin.

“Morning, Hux.”

She watched him laboriously sit down at the same spot as yesterday, then he pulled the pad out of a small dark grey bag and activated it.

“Where’d you get that bag?” she asked.

He looked up, blushing a little. “I went to the quartermaster this morning and asked her for something to carry the pad around.”

“Ah, I guess it wasn’t easy with the crutch in one hand and the pad in the other.”

“Yes,” he replied before averting his gaze and returning to work.

Rose decided to have a look at the cannons. She quickly checked the mission status of Poe’s fighter and when she saw that it was docked she grabbed her tool belt and headed to the hangar.

It turned out that the overclocked chips were indeed the root of the problem. They were slowly burning out and thus the cannons were losing power. Rose sat on a small ladder in front of the fighter and scanned the interior of the power cell.

Yep, no doubt about it. She had to come up with something to fix it. She yawned. But first she needed a double caf.

She put the ladder away and went into the Cantina to grab an extra large mug. Then she returned to the fighter and removed the power cell. Poe would complain once he noticed - he loved his fighter almost as much as he loved BB-8.

With the bulky power cell under her arm she returned to the lab. Hux was still bent over his pad, typing into the device. He looked as he hadn’t moved an inch in the past hour.

She put the power cell down with a loud ‘clonk’ on her workbench and stretched her back. From the corner of her eye she saw that he had raised his head, looking at the power cell. She waited for him to say something - but then he just looked down on the pad.

Whatever. She had enough to do without making conversation with someone like Hux. She opened the panel to the power cell. What was he even doing here? She remembered him looking down on Finn and her, casually ordering Phasma to execute them. The way he had dared to touch her medallion of Haysian smelt, the cruel smile.

She glanced at him. And now he sat there in his inconspicuous dark blue shirt, being all quiet. If she didn’t know better she would think it was a different person. Gone was the arrogant smirk, the posturing and the hard gaze in his eyes.

She tried to focus on the chips but she couldn’t help but look at him. Strands of ginger hair falling in his face, an odd contrast to the dark clothes he was wearing.

Of course he had lost his power, that had to be it. He thought he had been on the top of the Order and now this… he became a traitor to his own cause. Why? She looked back on the tech in front of her and sighed. She shouldn’t waste her time thinking about this when she had real work to do.

In the following hours she dismantled the power cell and tweaked a couple of chips to test their capability as replacements for the ones burning out. Just as she was going through some specifications Poe burst into the lab.

“Rose! Rose!”

She jerked her head up. “What? What is it?”

Hux looked alarmed grabbing his pad with both hands, scooting away from Poe who rushed towards her. “Rose, what have you done to him?”

“What? Who?” Her confusion grew.

“You mutilated _Iron Butterfly_!” Poe cried and pointed accusingly at her.

She couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re horrible! It’s just an X-wing - and it has to be repaired from time to time.”

Poe faked indignation and threw his hands in the air. “Unbelievable!” He turned to face Hux. “Hugs - imagine, she gutted my beloved _Butterfly_!”

Hux looked confused, he was holding the pad in front of his chest like a shield. He grimaced but remained silent. He looked uncomfortable.

Poe smiled and turned again to Rose. “Okay, the fun bit is over. Got any news?”

“Well, it’s no surprise - the old chips can’t keep up. I need to come up with something to replace them.” She gestured towards the chips lying on the workbench. “So far no luck. They aren’t compatible.”

“Huh, but knowing you you will come up with something brilliant.” Poe gave her a pat on the back. “Remember when you improved the coolant system of the freighters? A wonder General Organa didn’t give you a medal!”

She laughed, “Stop it!”

Poe checked his chronometer. “Will you look at that - it’s almost noon. Do you want to join me for lunch?”

Rose blinked. Was it already so late? She checked the time, it was indeed 11:52. “Hm, I don’t know. I should keep working.”

“Come on, you need to eat something.” He nudged her. “I heard the chef is making his famous meatloaf.”

“Really?” Poe knew of course that Rose loved that dish, especially the dark sauce. It was salty and spicy. “Alright!”

She put her tool belt on the workbench and headed for the door, behind her she heard Poe address Hux.

“You too, Hugs.”

Rose frowned and turned. Poe was standing in front of Hux, who was still sitting at this workplace. He even smiled at him.

“Commander Dameron, I’m not hungry.” He paused and pressed out, “Thank you for asking.”

“Really? I bet they can hear your stomach growl on the other end of the base.”

Hux chewed on his lower lip. “If you insist.”

Poe patted him on the back and turned to Rose. “Let’s go.”

Rose saw the terrified look on Hux’s face, the way he almost pushed Poe’s hand away. How odd that Poe wouldn’t realise that Hux didn’t like being touched. Then she saw the glint in his eyes and he winked at her.

She exhaled. He knew.

They stood at the door as Hux got up and grabbed his crutch, he was still quite slow.

“Why did you ask him to tag along?” she whispered. “He clearly wants to be left alone. And he’s not good company.”

Poe looked her straight in the eye. “That’s exactly why I asked him to join us.”

Before he could elaborate Hux limped closer and they slowly walked towards the Cantina.

Dameron led them to a table and gestured him to sit down. “Take a seat, Hugs. I’ll go get your food.”

“I’m perfectly capable of-”

“Yeah, yeah,” said Dameron and walked away.

Reluctantly Hux sat down. He didn’t miss the way Sergeant Tico looked at him. It was clear that she wasn’t keen on his company. Perhaps he should have turned down Commander Dameron’s offer even if he had been quite hungry and thirsty. But at the same time it was a good and safe opportunity to get something to eat. Getting up wasn’t easy and he was in no mood to hobble around the base more than absolutely necessary.

He was an easy target, the fact that the Rebels had been polite… or even kind towards him meant nothing. It was probably just a means to make him feel safe so that they could strike when he least expected it.

Now that he thought about it - the best way to make sure that he survived the next few weeks was to stick to Commander Dameron. And when he could walk again he could take one of the knives from the Cantina and sharpen it. Just in case.

He’d been quite lethal with a blade in close combat. Then he could at least defend himself against attackers.

Dameron and Tico returned with the food. He put the plate with meatloaf and mashed potatoes in front of Hux and sat down right beside him.

“Thank you,” said Hux in a quiet voice. He didn’t like this- this situation. Dameron was probably only doing this to show him how helpless he was.

Tico started to devour the food, shoving the meatloaf into her mouth like a starved kath hound. Hux ate slowly, checking his food from time to time. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for exactly but it made him feel safer to check nonetheless.

Tico and Dameron started to talk about a huttball game while the Cantina was slowly filling up with hungry soldiers. It was getting crowded and since there were three free seats at their table two pilots approached them.

“Are these seats taken, Commander?”

Poe grinned at them - why was he smiling so much? wondered Hux, a little annoyed. “No, just go ahead.”

They were about to sit down when they made eye contact with Hux. Hux tensed up, grabbing his fork harder. One of them froze, the other stared at him while sitting down, banging his tray on the surface of the table.

They frowned a little but then they all sat down and started to eat. Soon they were talking about a new pilot who was apparently very good looking.

Hux relaxed a little as soon as he realised that they were ignoring him. Perhaps this was a good strategy? He could just disappear in the crowd, become invisible like back in the Academy. With time the other cadets had forgotten about him, didn’t talk to him - it was like he didn’t even exist. Until he surpassed them at the final exams, until he was promoted faster.

He took another look around. It would be a good cover if he just disappeared in plain sight. Until they forgot about him, until they forgot about who he was. All he had to do was to keep a low profile.

He shoved another forkful in his mouth and kept his head down. Keeping a low profile should prove easy. It’s not like he was good with people anyway. And he hadn’t a personality like Commander Dameron, or the good looks of FN-2187.

Come to think of it - what were his qualities? He was a hard worker, that was all. He hadn’t any special interests, or wasn’t particularly good at anything. All he ever had was his diligence and rank.

He ate the last forkful and put the cutlery on the plate. He was nobody without his rank. A hollow feeling settled in his chest. Well, at least it should make it easier to disappear.

“Why are you so quiet, Hugs?” said Dameron suddenly. “Don’t you like sports?”

Hux shifted in his chair and glanced at him. “I don’t know anything about huttball.”

“Really? But surely you at least know about the Nal Hutta Jewels or the Makeb Subteroths?”

Hux had never even heard of these teams. Should he just pretend to know them so that Dameron would stop harassing him? What if they were made-up names and the question aimed to mock him? Better to stay truthful. “I haven’t.”

“I can’t believe this! Huttball is awesome! Right, Rose?”

Sergeant Tico sighed. “Leave him alone, not everybody has to love huttball as much as you do.”

“But it’s a gap in education,” said Dameron with a wink. Then he turned towards Hux. “There’s a game tonight - we’ll watch it in hangar 7 on holo. You should join us, Hugs. Broaden your horizon.”

Hux blinked in surprise. Had Dameron really just invited him to a social gathering? Was it some kind of trick? A way to set him up for a prank? “I’ll think about it, Commander,” he said slowly. A vague answer was certainly sensible.

He didn’t miss the questioning look Sergeant Tico shot Dameron. She didn’t approve. Either about the prank or the fact that she would have to look at him during her work-free time. It didn’t matter - he wouldn’t show up anyway. Keeping a low profile was the way to go. On the other hand it was probably safe to be in the vicinity of Dameron... No, no - disappearing was the better option.

In the afternoon Sergeant Tico and he returned into the lab. She was still working on the power cell from Dameron’s fighter. He had gathered from Tico’s and Damerons conversation earlier that there was some problem with chips.

He had to admit that he was curious, designing weapons was his field of specialisation after all. But then again he wanted to be invisible. He forced himself to look down on the pad but shortly after he gave up. “Might I inquire what you’re working on, Sergeant Tico?”

She seemed taken aback, as if she had forgotten that he was in the lab with her. “Uh, the chips in the fighter cannons are degrading. And we don’t have enough spare parts to keep them going.”

“It’s an ion-cannon power cell, isn’t it?”

She stretched her back and massaged her neck with her right hand. “Yeah, JSW-150. We overclocked the GXP-chips and used them as spare parts.”

“Hm, they’re burning out, weakening the focus of the ion beam,” he said more to himself. It was an interesting idea using GXP-chips for something they weren’t designed for.

She narrowed her eyes. “Exactly. I guess I forgot that you were chief engineer in the Order.”

“I was head of the Weapon Development Department, not a chief engineer.”

“Whatever.” She shot a pensive look at the tech in front of her. “I thought I could use other chips to compensate for the weakening of the focus. But it’s not working… there’s something… something that I’m overlooking.”

“Perhaps the issue is with the canon itself? JSW-150s aren’t exactly state of the art tech. Perhaps you should change the whole weapon?”

She sighed. “Of course we should, but currently we don’t have access to newer tech. Not since we chose to stop business with Canto Bight.”

Hux’s eyebrow rose. “You don’t do business with Canto Bight?”

“They’re war profiteers. They sell weapons to everybody and celebrate in gold and glitter stim as the rest of the galaxy burns.” Her face scrunched up in disgust.

“That’s a strategic mistake,” said Hux and put down his pad. “You can’t win a war of this magnitude without buying from Canto Bight or any other big weapon producing conglomerate.”

She scoffed. “We’ve come pretty far despite all odds because we believe in our cause. I have the support of the people because we still have morals.”

Hux was tempted to say: ‘Then where were they on Crait? Where were your supporters when you needed them?’ There was no point in saying it. Judging from the harrowed look she shot him she probably knew what he was thinking.

“I know that you don’t get it, Hux. For you might is right. You don’t know what it’s like to be small, to feel so powerless that you scream and cry in anger. You think we’re naive to keep our principles, but that’s who we are - it’s all that some of us will ever have.”

Hux gulped. An image of him cowering in front of his father’s desk in the academy came to mind. _‘You didn’t even fight back, boy. If they hit you, you just hit back so hard that they don’t dare to lay a finger on you.’_

_‘But they’re taller and older than me.’_

_‘Hmpf, weak-willed and cowardly just like your mother.’_

Hux pressed his lips together. “I was small once, I did scream and cry in anger,” he said in a low voice. “But I grew up. I learned that good intentions won’t change a thing. Of course might is right.” He inhaled. “That’s why I used to believe in the First Order. Only order and due process can protect the weak, make sure that everybody lives in peace.”

Tico frowned. “What changed?”

“The Supreme Leader changed.” Snoke… Snoke had been erratic at times but Ren was chaotic. “I- I had my doubts about a Force user as commander in chief. I thought that Snoke was the one to win the war then a moderate leader could take over-” he broke off. It sounded naive. Kriff, how could he sound so naive?


	5. Disguises

It was startling to hear that Hux had actually thought he was bringing order and peace to the galaxy as opposed to death and war. Rose continued to massage her neck, hoping to get rid of the light headache that had settled in.

“Did you really believe that there would be peace in the galaxy if the Order won?” she asked. Somehow he didn’t strike her as an idealist.

He leaned back in his chair, he looked somewhat surprised. “I think so,” he said slowly in a low voice as if he was thinking and speaking at the same time. “Perhaps it was only a leftover from my conditioning at the academy. The way one rises through the ranks has little to do with order and due process.”

Rose got the impression that he was truthful. Perhaps that was what he told himself to sleep at night? That there was a higher purpose behind all the death?

“Everybody needs something to believe in, I guess.” She rubbed her hands on the rough fabric of her overalls. “My dad used to believe that every person was good, that it was in their nature to be kind. He was a miner on Hays Minor, worked with my mother in the crystal mines from sunrise to sunset. He had a pretty shitty life but somehow he still managed to believe in people.” She hesitated. Why was she even telling Hux about her father? She scanned his face, he looked impassive as always but his eyes weren’t cold or hard, they almost looked interested.

“You are speaking in past tense,” he said, sounding cautious as if he wasn’t sure if it was safe to talk about this topic.

Perhaps it was his way of asking ‘what happened’? She cleared her throat. “He was killed in a mining accident a couple of years ago. The foreman had assured him that the shaft was safe to work in and he believed him - despite knowing that he was a greedy asshole.” She shrugged. “As I said, he believed in the good of the people. He couldn’t fathom that someone would risk lives just for a couple more credits.”

“And your mother?”

“She refused to go in that shaft, she and my dad had quite a fight about it. She was always the more realistic one.” Her mother had been heart-broken after the accident, Paige told her that she sometimes caught her sitting on her dad’s side of the bed, softly brushing over the mattress as if she could still feel his warmth.

“What happened to the foreman?” asked Hux to her surprise. She hadn’t thought that he was actually interested in her sob story.

“Nothing, at least not officially. The mining company paid a hefty compensation of course but there was no hard evidence against him.”

“And unofficially?”

“My mother loved my father very much. She always said he was a hopeless romantic who made her laugh and that he’d been the most moronic, bold and kind being she had ever met.” She blinked, her eyes felt moist. “So she did what she had to do: she killed the son of a Hutt with her own hands. We never talked about it, but we knew when she came home late one night - we saw it in her eyes.”

She looked down on the power cell to hide her moist eyes from Hux. It had been years and it still got to her. That look in her mother’s eyes. The way her father had smiled before he left for the mine. She sniffed. She was just tired, that’s why she had told Hux. Yes, why else would she tell him?

“I-” began Hux, and she looked up. He frowned and opened his mouth to say something but then closed it again without speaking. He looked down on his pad and then back up again. “She sounds like a strong woman.”

Rose’s eyes went wide. “Uh, yes. Yes she is.” Usually people told her that they were sorry after hearing about her father, but not Hux.

Against her will she was fascinated by his statement. Hux thought that it was a story about a strong woman getting revenge, he didn’t see it as a story about loss. What did it say about him? She wasn’t sure but she got the feeling that there were layers to him she didn’t see through… yet.

Her sight fell once again on the power cell. She still hadn’t found a solution. Perhaps it was time to think outside the box? Hux was right, she was focussing on a small part of an overall problem. Even if she found a chip that would fit they would have the same problem in six months when the new chips burned out.

She had to replace the cannon and since it wasn’t possible to just buy one she would have to build a new one! She rolled her shoulder back. All she needed was an engineer to help draw up the blueprints - lucky for her one was sitting right in front of her.

She exhaled and glanced at him. He was typing something into the pad again. He certainly didn’t look like it with his slightly mussed up bright ginger hair and his bony frame but he was a dangerous weapon designer. Force knew what kind of lethal plans he had seen and thought of in the Order.

“Hey Hux.”

He looked up and brushed a strand of hair out of his face. “Sergeant?”

“If I gave you a list of available hardware, could you come up with a cannon design to replace the ancient stuff we strap onto our fighters?”

He sat up a little straighter. “I think so. It depends on the compatibility of the parts of course.”

“Leave the details to me, what I need is just a decent blueprint.”

“If you say so - what has a higher priority? The tracker or the cannons?”

“Uh,” she hadn’t thought about that. “Can’t you do both?”

“Splitting time between two different assignments isn’t productive.”

She thought for a moment. “How long would it take you to draw up the cannon blueprints?” Perhaps she should ask General Organa if it was alright if he worked three days on the cannons or something like that? The tracker was a long-term project after all.

He chewed on his lip. “Judging from past projects I would estimate 10 hours.”

She gaped at him. “Ten hours?” How in the Galaxy could he do that in 10 hours?

He sank into his chair. “I’m aware that it’s a lot but it’s hard to come up with something new, even if I base the ground structure on old blueprints.”

She wiped over her face. “No, no - that’s not what I meant. I’m just amazed that you could do it in 10 hours. I thought it would take you much longer.”

“Ah,” was all he said. He averted his gaze and looked annoyed.

At any rate she had to ask General Organa if it was possible to give him this assignment. And then she had to put together a list of course - better get to it. “Okay, I’ll go and ask permission.”

She hurried out of the lab towards the command center. It would erase quite a lot of problems if she could build a prototype - the other mechanics could then just reproduce it. With one fell swoop they would solve a long-term problem and free up resources used to fix the old cannons for other repair jobs.

General Organa was in her office, looking at a holomap with a sorrowful expression. Rose slowed down her step and waited until the General made eye contact.

Organa smiled and beckoned Rose to come closer. “Good to see you, Rose.”

Rose couldn’t help but to smile at the warm reception. “Thank you, General. H-how are you?” she added awkwardly.

“Please, call me Leia - these days I don’t feel like a General.”

Rose almost blushed. “A-alright… Leia.” She was on first-name basis with a galactic legend! She dreamed about it when she was a little girl - it still felt like a dream.

“As for your question,” continued Gen- Leia, “I’m worried. It has been days since I last heard from Rey.”

Rose suddenly felt silly for barging in like she had. Leia had much to worry about, it certainly didn’t help if every Tom, Dick and Harriet interrupted her work. “I’m sorry. I thought she was on her way back.”

Leia smiled and the very sight of her smile filled Rose with hope and confidence. “She probably is - I guess I’m just an old worrywart. What can I do for you?”

“Our fighter’s cannons are slowly breaking down, and I would like to use Hux to draw up a completely new cannon plan. He estimates that it would take him 10 hours. That means of course that he won’t be working on the tracker for a day.”

Leia’s eyebrow rose. “Only 10 hours?”

“Yeah, I know. I asked him the same question, and he started to defend himself, babbling about how he knew that it was a lot.”

“What a curious man.” Leia folded her hands in front of her stomach. “Alright, I think it’s sensible to make sure that our fighters are ready when the time comes.”

“Thanks!” said Rose and beamed at Leia. Then she turned and hurried out of the office - now she only had to- oh, she had forgotten to be dismissed by Leia. Rose stopped and looked back, Leia was again looking at the holo, rubbing her chin.

The next time she would wait to be dismissed. She continued her way back to the lab.

Hux was getting thirsty. A glass of water or a cup of tea would be nice. He checked the chronometer. It was 15:39, there was a high probability that there weren’t many people in the Cantina.

He could quickly grab a mug of tea, drink it and come back here in… 11 minutes. Provided the water wasn’t too hot of course. Then he could ask for a bottle of water. This way he could transport something to drink in his grey bag back here.

He got up and grimaced a little when he felt a numb pain in his leg. He ignored it and took the crutch. A few minutes later he was in the Cantina. He’d guessed right, it was almost empty. Only a handful of pilots and FN-2187 were sitting at their own at tables, most of them focussed on their holo.

Of course FN-2187 perked up his head and when their gazes met Hux made an effort to look indifferent. He casually averted his gaze and hobbled to the counter.

The Zabrak cook asked: “What can I get you?”

“What teas do you have in stock?”

“At the moment only three: Balmorran green tea, Hutta jasmine tea and Yavinese black tea.”

“Black tea and a bottle of water please.”

“Sure.” The cook turned to the water heater behind him and started to pour steaming water in a mug. “Sugar or milk?”

Hux almost scoffed, what kind of barbarian would add sugar or milk? “No, thank you.”

“Here you go,” the cook said and put the mug and a bottle of water on the counter.

Hux grabbed the bottle and put it in his bag, just when he was about to take the mug he felt that someone was standing behind him.

“Want some help with that, Hux?” asked FN-2187. Without waiting for his reply he took the mug and put it on the nearest table.

Well, it certainly made things easier. Hux followed FN-2187 to the table and let himself fall on the chair. “Thank you.”

FN-2187 lingered and then he finally sat down across from Hux. Hux leaned a little farther back, unsure of what to expect.

“Seeing you here is weird,” FN-2187 began. “It’s weird seeing you in civilian clothes, it almost looks like a disguise. And I keep wondering… does it feel the same to you?”

Hux thought about the question. “I never thought about it that way but it is an accurate description. It feels like a disguise.” He thought about his plan to disappear in plain sight. “Perhaps it _is_ a disguise.”

FN-2187 crossed his arms. “I shouldn’t talk to you about this, seeing as you wanted me dead not that long ago. But here we are and you’re the only one who spent his whole life in a uniform around here.” He leaned forward and propped his elbows up on the table. “I’m with the Rebels for three years and sometimes when I see myself in the mirror with these clothes I’m sort of … I don’t know. It still surprises me.”

Hux pulled the corners of his mouth down. “That’s part of the conditioning.”

“What?”

“That was the reason why Stormtroopers were forbidden to take off their helmets at any time. To stamp out bonding between the troops. If you can’t see the face of others or your own, if it feels foreign to be without the armour… well, then Stormtroopers would always see themselves everywhere and nowhere.”

FN-2187 buried his face in his hands. “Kriff. That shit is still in me. I thought I left it behind.”

Hux felt uncomfortable. What was he supposed to say now? His father had designed the conditioning and always bragged about it. _‘Stamp out their personality - they’re nothing but cattle anyway - that’s easy.’_ He hadn’t appreciated when Hux pointed out that if it was so easy then why were there so many reconditions necessary. He hadn’t repeated the mistake of questioning him after he got his back patched up.

The memory of his father yelling at him and holding his belt in his meaty fist made Hux grimace. “The conditioning is not perfect,” he said in a firm voice. “There was a reason why so many reconditioning programs were necessary. After the academy most officers weren’t conditioned anymore,” he shrugged. “Perhaps that’s why some of them became lazy and greedy.”

FN-2187 inhaled and leaned back again. “Is this Hux-speech for telling me that the conditioning is not forever?”

Hux frowned at the term ‘Hux-speech’ but he nodded. “At least that’s my deduction.”

“Huh, I’m actually feeling better. Who would have thought you could have that effect on people.”

Hux pulled the tea bag out of the water and gulped the now lukewarm tea down. “According to Internal Security reports my speeches had a similar effect prior to combat. Sixty-seven percent of the Stormtroopers reported higher morale.”

FN-2187 rolled his eyes. “Damn, why’d you have to bring that up?”

“Why not?”

“It spoils everything, reminds me of being one of those blind soldiers who used to stand at parade rest, listening to that drivel. And it isn’t true.”

This time Hux was the one to lean forward. “What?”

“You think what motivated us- eh, the Stormtroopers, were overused phrases about the might of the First Order when we, eh the Storm- whatever - we were the ones dying on some backwater planet? When we were the ones who had to clean up the mess after the battle, when we had to scrap shit, blood and stars knows what else from our boots?”

Hux was taken aback by this unexpected turn. “I wasn’t aware that IS was lying to me. Hm, I should have anticipated-”

“Do you have any idea what a dying Stormtrooper is calling for? Our opponents cried out for their mothers and fathers, whimpering in pain as the end came. We never had a mother or father thanks to the Order,” FN-2187 hissed. “So we called out for our bunkmates. Do you have any idea how much it _takes_ to hear one’s names called in that way? What it feels like? Knowing exactly that there is someone you know but you just- you just don’t know who it is. You don’t have time to read their designations, not in the heat of the battle! And even if you could read it - it’s not a name, just a kriffing number. That’s what we were to the likes of General Aavet who used us as human shields!” FN-2187 slammed his hand on the table. “You’re a nasty piece of work, Hux, but at least you didn’t waste our lives. Stars know why, but you and General Duvka were about the only ones who employed tactics that didn’t use us as cannon fodder. You want to know why the morale was higher after a speech of yours? Because we knew that when you were in command we might actually make it through the day! We thought that maybe we don’t have to listen to our comrades crying out for people they barely knew.”

Hux stared at FN-2187, trying to process what he had heard - never in a thousand years had he thought that this was behind the dry numbers of IS reports. He always envied the athletic soldiers who had made it in the Stormtrooper program, and wished that he could be as strong and able as them.

He really thought that he was worse off than- what a fool he had been. At least he had a name, at least- Hux didn’t know what to think. He was still nothing without his rank. How must it have felt for FN-2187? Giving up the only thing he had ever known in his life? Was he feeling like he was nothing?

“Did- did you experience anxiety when you left the Order?” Hux asked cautiously.

FN-2187 face softened a bit. “That’s Hux-speech for asking if I was scared, right? Yeah. Yeah I was scared. I just knew I had to leave. I had no idea what awaited me outside the Order but I just had to go. And Poe-” He smiled. “Poe was there at the right time and place.”

Hux didn’t know what to say to that. He wanted him to ask if he was feeling hollow inside, like there was something missing but he didn’t know how. He wasn’t even sure if that was an accurate description of the feeling that sometimes took hold of him.

“What about you? Did you ‘experience anxiety’?” asked FN-2187 hesitantly.

Hux shifted on his chair. He could feel heat crawl up his cheeks. “I- I need to go back to work. Thank you for the tea, FN-”

“It’s Finn. My name is Finn.”

Hux wondered how he had found out his real name, but in the same moment he realised that ‘Finn’ was just an expansion of ‘FN’. Finn wanted to be more than a number, no, he already was more than a number… “Thank you for the tea - what is your current rank?”

“Captain.”

“Thank you for the tea, Captain Finn.” Hux got up and returned to the lab.


	6. Navigating

“Hux, I just-” Rose broke off when she realised that the lab was empty. Huh, that had never happened before. Hux had always seemed to be glued to his workplace.

The door behind slid open and Hux appeared. He was panting a little and looked pale.

“Hux - where have you been?”

He hobbled to his chair and sat down. Then he took a bottle out of his grey bag that was hanging from his bony shoulders and drank a gulp. “Apologies, Sergeant Tico. I was thirsty and went to the Cantina.” He put the bottle back in his bag and pulled the pad out. “But now I should be able to work until dinner.”

Rose licked her lips. She hadn’t even thought about him getting thirsty. It would certainly explain the amount of water he had gulped down at lunch. Damn, her mother always told her to eat and drink enough while working - never had she thought that her work obsession would affect somebody else.

“Of course,” she said, “I- uh, I talked to General Organa. She said that you could work on the cannons first.”

Hux nodded. “Alright. Do you have the X-wing blueprints?”

“Yeah, I think I have them somewhere…” She went to her workplace, sat down and started to look through her data. “Got them, I’ll send them to you right away. Ah, I see your pad in the local holonet - it’s AH-26907, right?”

“Yes.”

She sent him a file with blueprints and saved his holo frequency on her pad.

“Thank you,” he said and bent over his pad.

She glanced at him, again noticing his not slicked back hair. Hux was different than she thought he would be. Instead of sneering at her with an oily grin, demanding that she was at his beck and call he was quiet and polite.

Was it an act? No, nobody was that good an actor, not when she could basically see his impassive mask slip from time to time. It usually happened when he was startled or when Poe patted his shoulder.

Well, she didn’t have the time to muse about these things - she had work to do. Rose returned to her workbench and checked her messages. Apparently the secondary shield generator was having blackouts again. She sighed and pulled up its schematics.

She was in the middle of revising the updated shield generator fix when her pad pinged loudly. She closed her eyes for a moment and exhaled. There was only one person who sent messages with a ping.

If she ignored it now a second would follow within five minutes. She took the pad and read the message:

‘Don’t forget to eat your dinner.’

‘I’m working,’ she wrote back.

‘I worry about you, Ro-Ro. Go eat your dinner before dessert is out - you love dessert.’

She pressed her lips together. ‘Mom! I’m not five years old!’ Why did she keep harassing her about food of all things? As if she would die if she missed one meal.

A quick look on the chronometer revealed that it was already 18:12. Damn, time really flies sometimes. She was in the mood to work a bit longer until she caught sight of Hux typing away on his pad.

She got the feeling that if left to his own devices he would continue to work until he fell off that chair. She kind of was his boss, so perhaps she should consider his health too. Should she ask him to join her for dinner? Would it be weird? On the other hand Poe had done so without batting an eye.

“It’s time for dinner, Hux.”

He stared at her with wide eyes. “Dinner?”

“Believe me, I know it’s annoying to interrupt work but we need to eat at some point.”

He lowered his pad. “Several studies confirm that work efficiency suffers if the nourishment is neglected.” He put the pad in his bag. “Although I share the sentiment that eating is a waste of time. I used to eat ration bars for convenience.”

Rose got up from her chair and walked over to the door. “Sounds sensible. No crumbs on the tech.”

“The taste was fairly bland,” added Hux and stood up too while grabbing his crutch. “But it was efficient.”

“Uh, okay now I don’t think it’s a good idea to eat ration bars anymore. I mean I can go on without food for a day or so - especially when I’m working on something. But when I eat, I want to eat delicious dishes.”

They started to walk towards the Cantina. Rose walked slowly so that Hux could keep up.

“I don’t care much about the taste.”

“Really? You seemed to like the meatloaf well enough.”

He fell silent, then after a few moments he said, “It was adequate.”

They arrived at the Cantina, it was rather full. Rose spotted free chairs at a table in the middle of the room. She walked over and asked Aish and Ebrima if the seats were taken.

Aish smiled at Rose but when he saw Hux behind her, his smile faded a little. But in the end he nodded. “They’re free.”

Ebrima shot Hux a withering glance as he laboriously sat down. Rose briefly wondered if it had been a good idea to drag Hux out of the lab and put him on the spot. Perhaps that was why Poe bothered to invite him? So that they could all get used to the thought that he was on the base with them? Yes, that must be it. Acting as if he didn’t exist didn’t solve anything.

“I’m going to get the food. You can wait here,” she said.

“I can get my food myself,” he said in a low voice, obviously trying to save face.

“Really? With the crutch?” she retorted before just leaving for the counter. As she stood in line she glanced at the table from time to time.

Aish and Ebrima were talking to each other ignoring Hux. At least they didn’t fight with him. He looked uneasy, then he took the pad out of his bag and started to type something.

When she finally returned with the fried rice and the two small puddings Hux looked up, something like relief washed over his face.

She handed him his plate and sat down next to Ebrima.

“Hey, Ebri - how is your brother? Is he still in the med bay?”

“Yeah, Doc Kalonia said that a shipment with cybernetics will arrive tomorrow. Once he gets his hand, he’ll be up and about.” She smiled at Rose. “You know how stubborn he is, he would climb into the bomber even with one hand.”

“You make it sound like you’re not every bit as pig-headed as him,” chuckled Aish.

They laughed and when it had died down, Ebrima turned to Hux. “So, you’re the spy, huh?”

Hux gulped the food down and sat up a bit straighter. “I was.”

“I don’t know if I should thank you or knock your teeth out,” admitted Ebrima while stirring in her pudding. “I guess it depends if you turn on us like you turned on the Order.”

Hux’s eyebrow rose. “I can’t return to the Order, so why should I betray you?”

Ebrima shrugged. “What do I know? But at least you didn’t say some banthashit about believing in our cause.”

“I don’t share your idealism, no,” replied Hux. “But I know that Ren is a menace.”

Rose listened intently. It was interesting that Hux didn’t pretend to work with them because he thought that the Order was wrong - he only thought that _Ren_ was wrong. It was odd - so he betrayed the organisation he had been with his whole life just because he didn’t agree with the leader? He turned into a spy because of one single man? Something was off.

“I guess we can agree on that,” said Aish.

“What’s he like?” asked Rose. “Kylo Ren, I mean.”

Hux’s expression darkened. “He is confusing- contradictorily is perhaps the better word. He is calculating and impulsive, indecisive and strong-headed, soft and hard at the same time. He is volatile.”

No wonder that he hated him, thought Rose. From what little she had seen of Hux he seemed to cherish order above all. But still - for an organized man like Hux to throw away everything he worked for… strange.

Hux turned to his food and continued to eat, hoping that they wouldn’t ask about Ren any further. That moronic ass- no, no there was no point in getting worked up about him.

From the corner of his eye he saw somebody walking up to their table. It was the quartermaster. Was she making rounds in the Cantina on a regular basis? The last time she had also talked to Dameron and others.

She put her hand on her hip. “So, you’re actually using the bag I gave you, Hux?”

“Yes, of course. It’s easier to carry items around.”

She pointed at his half-full plate. “Don’t you like rice?”

Hux frowned. “I don’t devour my food like Sergeant Tico - but I like it.”

She beamed at Tico. “So you’re _devouring_ the rice, are you?”

Tico pouted. “I wasn’t that fast - Hux is the slowest eater I’ve ever seen. Seriously, Hux - if you like the food, why do you keep picking around like a moody teenager?”

He shouldn’t answer but not saying anything would only lead to more questions. “I’m just checking for… unwanted items.”

“Unwanted items?” hissed the quartermaster. “You think there are spider-roaches in your food or what?”

He stared at her. “Of course not! I was referring to pebbles or sharp objects.” Why was she even asking? Wasn’t it self-explanatory?

“Wait a moment, why would there-” began the tall, blue-skinned Twi’lek Tico called ‘Ebri’.

Hux scoffed. “To make me suffer for my crimes of course. Even one tiny sharp pebble could puncture my stomach's mucosal lining, leading to painful internal bleeding.” Only after he had finished he noticed the wide-eyed looks from the people around him. What? Did they think he wouldn’t check?

“You think I would put sharp objects in your food?” asked Tico with indignation in her voice.

“Why not?” He asked with honest surprise. “You could still use my expertise, it wouldn’t be lethal. And you wouldn't need to endure my company in the tech lab.”

Tico blinked a few times. “I- Hux, nobody is trying to cause you pain. We’re not cruel.”

He narrowed his eyes. She sounded honest but at the same time she hadn’t denied that she didn’t like his company. So perhaps she just despised instead of hating him? That was of course possible. He averted his gaze and continued to poke through the rice, slowly eating it.

The quartermaster crossed her arms. “No wonder you’re so skinny!”

He felt anger boil up in his chest. _‘Weak and thin as a slip of paper. Can’t even eat properly.’_ “Is that all you’ve got?!” he snarled. “If you want to insult me you’ll have to be more creative, quartermaster! I’ve heard all the insults there are: skinny, gaunt, pasty, feeble, weak-willed, stupid, disgusting-”

“That’s enough,” said the short, dark-skinned human male sitting next to him in a calm voice. “I just came back from a mission and all I want is to eat my dinner in peace, thank you very much.”

Hux pressed his lips together and glared at the quartermaster, she huffed and turned on her heel, storming out of the Cantina.

“You shouldn’t argue with her,” said the Twi’lek. “As quartermaster she’s kind of the boss of it all. If she sets her mind to something it’s next to impossible to convince her otherwise.”

Tico sighed. “Ebri is right, you know. There is no winning with her.”

Hux didn’t reply. What was there to say anyway? It was hardly his fault that the woman had insulted him!

After dinner he returned to his quarters. He sat on the bed and leaned against the wall. The first draft of the new cannon was satisfactory. The ion-pulse itself was slightly weaker than before, but without the proper chips it was difficult to aim for a higher output to punch through the navigational shields of the TIE-fighters… hmm, the Order’s navigational shields were based on rotating phase-emitters because it was the most efficient way to repel tiny asteroid bits when jumping to hyperlanes. Without the shields even the smallest pebble would tear open the ship when it accelerated to light-speed.

If he could find a way to disable the navigational shield all it would take was a jump to lightspeed to take out about 58% of the TIE-fighters. Disabling the navigational shield without the TIE-pilots noticing was difficult. And there was of course the matter of getting a command or an EMP-pulse to a squadron of fighters simultaneously.

Or perhaps it would be enough to infect a single fighter? They automatically relayed their positions to each other and their home base to prevent collisions. If he could imbed the signal in the position-retrieval all navigational shields would be shut down. It wouldn’t work on destroyers of course, their back-up systems were far too advanced for such a simple trick. But TIE-fighters were faster and slimmed down, per order of Allegiant General Pryde who wanted them to be faster, more flexible. Hux grimaced. That moron. Now they were more vulnerable to sabotage.

All he needed was a command that they _had_ to receive, like a First Order high priority message. Hux was quite certain that his codes wouldn’t work anymore but it didn’t matter if he sent a second, coded signal piggy-backing on the priority channel. They would receive it and check its authenticity before turning it down.

Theoretically it should last long enough for the second signal to infiltrate a sub-system. Yes, that could work-

Three sharp knocks on his door interrupted his thoughts. Hux got up and opened the door gap width.

“Hugs!”

He should have known. “Commander Dameron, good evening.”

“The huttball match is about to start and I just wanted to remind you - in case you forgot about it!”

How in the Galaxy was this man so cheerful? “I’m busy.”

“Don’t be like that - I saved you a seat.” Dameron leaned against the doorway. “Dr. Kalonia said that you needed to relax, that it’s good for your health.”

“I highly doubt that.”

“What? That she said that or that relaxing would be good for your health?”

Hux pinched the bridge of his nose. “Are you going to pester me until I come?”

“Yes,” replied Dameron with decidedly too much enthusiasm.

“If this some kind of prank-”

“It isn’t.”

Hux stretched his back, perhaps it was easier to give in. He could finish the work later - a sports event couldn’t possibly last longer than two hours. If they were mocking him he could just leave.

Hux opened the door, sat down on the bed and put his boots back on. Dameron lingered at the entrance until he was ready to go.


	7. Beer and Tea

Rose took a gulp from her cold beer and stared absentmindedly on the holo. The announcer was introducing the teams. She should be in the lab, working - not sitting here drinking alcohol and watching some silly game.

But then again she was no use to anybody if she didn’t take any breaks. Well, she could finish the work later - a huttball game didn’t last longer than two hours.

She leaned back against a crate of spare parts and adjusted the pillow she was sitting on. Finn entered the hangar and waved at her. She waved back as he went to the cooler to get a beer.

“Long day?” asked Finn when he sat down next to her.

“Ugh, I look like crap, don’t I?”

“Nah, you look lovely like always, Rose,” he replied with a smile.

“Liar.” She looked at him from the side, he was focussed on the holo. After Crait they had never talked about the kiss she had given him, but there really wasn’t any need to. She had eyes - she saw how he looked at Poe. She still liked him a lot, but she knew that she would only ever be his friend.

She licked her lips. “Any news from Rey?”

Finn shook his head. “Not yet, but General Organa said that she feels that she’s alright. I don’t like this Rose, not one bit. I wish they had sent me with her.”

“You know her - she is the most badass Force user there is,” said Rose, “she’ll be back.” It was true, Rey looked quite harmless with her big brown eyes and her cute buns but she was also the one who had handily defeated Kylo Ren and busted them out of Crait - a true hero. Somehow she reminded her of Paige, they had the same fearless look in their eyes.

“Stars! He really brought him here,” whispered Finn suddenly.

Rose followed his eyes and saw Poe and Hux walking into the hangar. Poe waved at them.

“Why is he doing this?” asked Finn in a low voice. “Why is he spending so much time with that jerk?”

“I don’t know. Maybe he just wants to make sure that Hux doesn’t bail on us.”

“Speaking of Poe,” whispered Rose, “have you told him yet?”

Finn sighed. “Of course I haven’t. I tried but- I don’t know how to even start. ‘Poe, I like you’?”

“That’s a good start, isn’t it?”

“It’s hard, okay?”

Before she could reply Poe and Hux had joined them. Hux looked grumpy and Poe beamed at them. “I brought Hugs along! Poor guy has never seen a huttball game.”

“You are merciless,” said Rose with a grin.

Poe shoved a cold beer in Hux’s hands as soon as he had sat down on a crate. “So, as you can see there are two teams, their goal is to carry the huttball over the other team’s goal line. There are traps on the playing field and the players are allowed to tackle each other to get the ball. There are a bunch of other rules nobody cares about - just sit back and enjoy the game.”

“Casual violence is hardly good entertainment,” retorted Hux.

“Just wait and see.”

Rose watched the game with mild interest, she liked watching it well enough but she wasn’t an ardent supporter like Poe or some of the other Resistance members who booed and yelled and clapped at some passes and applauded cunning moves from the lead baller.

She noticed that Finn was already gulping down his second beer, and that he was stealing glances at Poe who was explaining the game from time to time to Hux who looked a little less grumpy than in the beginning.

During half-time she watched Aish take a couple of pictures with his holo. His friends laughed and made faces when he told them to stay still.

She noticed that Hux was observing Aish, looking mildly interested and without a scowl to her surprise.

“What? Have you never seen a guy taking a few holopics?” she asked. “You look like you disapprove.”

Hux looked taken aback. “No- I just don’t understand why-”

“Duh, because he wants to commemorate the occasion.”

“Ah.”

She thought of the holoflowers in her quarters. “Maybe he even put up the holopics in his room so that it won’t look so depressing like the concrete bunker that it is.” Come to think of it, maybe it was really what he was doing. Some of the Resistance fighters liked to do that, she herself had also pictures of her family on her wall.

Hux looked pensive. They continued to watch the game.

When Finn got his third beer she realised that he was building up liquid courage to talk to Poe. Yes, there was a hint of determination in how he drank his beer, eyeing Poe.

If this kept up he would be drunk before the game ended. Damn it. She had to give Finn the opportunity to talk to Poe before that, from the corner of her eye she saw Hux sitting stiffly on his crate. Somehow she had to move Hux away. Wait… or perhaps she should just create an opportunity for Poe and Finn to talk to each other alone.

She stared at her half-full beer and with one gulp she drowned it, next she eyed Hux’s barely touched beer that was standing on the floor next to him. She pretended to shift on her pillow and knocked it over, pouring it’s content over the floor.

“Oh no,” she said. “I’m sorry.”

Poe jumped on his feet. “Don’t worry - I’ll go get a rag or something.” He went over to the cooler.

“Finn, could you get me and Hux a new beer?” asked Rose.

Finn blinked. “What?”

“I don’t need-” protested Hux.

She winked at Finn. “Get me and Hux a new beer please.”

Realisation flashed over Finn’s face and he quickly got up and approached Poe who was still looking for a rag. Rose pulled an old oily rag from one of her pockets and wiped up some of the beer.

“I don’t need another beer,” said Hux. “I don’t like it.”

“Don’t worry,” she said while glancing over her shoulder. Finn was obviously nervous, but he was talking to Poe who looked at him intently. “I don’t think they’ll come back.”

“What? Why?”

She sighed. “Doesn’t matter, just watch the game.”

The next time she looked back Poe and Finn had disappeared. Rose allowed herself a satisfied smile. Finally. It had driven her mad looking at these two idiots in love prancing around each other - how could they not see that the other had fallen for them? Unbelievable.

She remembered how difficult it must be for Hux to get a beverage with his crutch. “I think I’m going to get a cup of tea in the Cantina, do you want one too?”

The scowl on Hux’s face faded. She could almost see him thinking, he was probably wondering if this was an attempt to poison him. “Yes please.”

“Be right back.”

She returned with a black tea and a jasmine tea, she handed Hux the black one and sat down on her pillow.

“Commander Dameron and Captain Finn haven’t returned,” said Hux. He stirred his tea. “Thank you.”

“Apparently not and you’re welcome.”

They watched the game, Rose’s thoughts returned to the dinner. “Did you really think that I would put sharp objects in your food?”

He chewed his lower lip. “I don’t know what to think. I can’t get a read on you Rebels.”

“Well, I really wouldn’t do that. Even after everything you did.” She stared at the holo, a murmuring rang through the room at a specially rough tackle. “Even after everybody we lost.”

“Why not?”

She turned her head towards him, there it was again, this expression of surprise. As if he really didn’t understand why anybody would want to kill him. “More killing doesn’t make anybody alive and hurting people doesn’t make the pain go away. I wish it was that easy but it isn’t.”

They watched the rest of the game in silence.

It was past midnight when Hux finally finished the cannon plan and the first draft of the idea of disrupting the navigational shields. He yawed and decided to take a shower. At this time of the night there hopefully weren’t a lot of people in the common shower.

He grabbed a towel and limped to the showers - it turned out that he had been right. They were empty. He soon discovered that it wasn’t easy to move on the white tiles with a crutch, especially when they were wet. Water huh? He thought they would be using sonic showers. So there had to be a water supply nearby.

He checked the bandage and wrapped a plastic foil around it before he turned on the shower. The water was cold at first but slowly turned warmer. He was just shampooing his hair when noises from the outside startled him. The door burst open and none other than Commander Dameron and Captain Finn stepped inside.

Kriff! Hux wasn’t keen to show his weak physique to anybody - but he specially hated the thought that Dameron would see him like that. Even the memories of him mocking Hux above D’Qar made him almost blush.

Finn and Dameron were equally taken aback, staring at Hux for a short moment before letting go of their hands. Only now Hux realised that they had been holding hands in the first place. They both turned their back to Hux and started to undress. Hux hurried to finish and hobbled back to his pile of clothes. He angrily rubbed his body dry until his skin was red and dressed himself.

Only after he was out of the shower did he register that his heart was hammering. He took a deep breath, realising that he had been scared. He scoffed at himself. Weak indeed. He wasn’t at the academy anymore. Nobody waited in the shower for him, nobody was punching him in the stomach until the taste of blood and vomit mixed in his mouth.

Stars! He wanted tea so badly, just to get rid of the memory of the taste in his mouth. He went back into his quarters and drank water from the tap.

His chronometer beeped in the morning, at first he was confused where he was but a fraction of a second later he remembered and he turned the chronometer off. He limped to the loo and washed his face, he noticed the beard stubble on his cheeks and brushed over it. He reached for the sonic razor sitting on a shelf next to the wash basin when he suddenly hesitated. Most of the Rebels weren’t clean shaved. Even senior officers sported a three-day-beard.

If he really wanted to disappear in the crowd he shouldn’t shave, he realised. He stared at himself in the mirror, took in the gaunt, pale face, the too soft lips, the not entirely blue eyes and his cursed ginger hair. He looked strange without any product in the hair, even stranger with the stubble.

He should stick to the plan. It was safer to blend in, too bad that most of the Rebels weren’t as tall as he was. He would still stick out a bit.

He put the razor away and brushed his teeth, after that he put on the same blue shirt and dark trousers from the day before. Then he filled up his bottle, put it in the bag and headed to the Cantina for breakfast.

He noticed that all he got were tired glances by the soldiers sitting in front of their oatmeal and their caf. He didn’t register any glares. Huh, it seems that most of the Rebels had gotten used to him already. That was fast.

He got his portion of oatmeal and the cook brought him his tea to the table like the last time. Hux thanked him and started to eat while scrolling through the plans on his pad. Then he sent them to Sergeant Tico, after all she was the one to build the prototype.

She was already in the tech lab when he arrived. She only briefly looked up. “Morning Hux.”

“Good morning, Sergeant Tico.”

She continued to read his blueprint, he settled in and returned to his work with the hyperlane tracker.

“Hux?”

“Yes?”

“This is brilliant stuff - it’s-” she broke off. “How could you come up with this in a couple of hours?”

He frowned. “I merely did what you told me to do. I just modified some old blueprints.” What was her game? Saying these- these things? Was it sarcasm?

She stared at him. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

He didn’t know what to say so he remained silent.

Tico cleared her throat. “Well, I’m starting to build it right now.”

They worked for about two hours when the door slipped open and the quartermaster appeared. She was holding a tray with little sandwiches, Hux noticed with confusion.

“Morning,” the quartermaster said.

Sergeant Tico threw her hands in the air. “I can’t believe you! I’m at work! I don’t have time-”

The quartermaster scoffed. “Who said that this was for you?” She slammed the tray on Hux’s table and grinned at him. “These are for you!”

Hux crooked an eyebrow. “Pardon?” After yesterday the woman thought it was a good idea to bring him food? And here he had thought that she hated him. So perhaps her comment on his physique hadn’t been meant to mock him?

Sergeant Tico buried her face in her hands. “You are horrible, mom.”

Mom? The quartermaster was Sergeant Tico’s mother? He looked from one woman to the other, they were both certainly about two heads smaller than he and there was a resemblance.

“Just admit that Hux is an excuse to check on me and bring food here! You think I would eat some of it too, don’t you?” She lowered her hands. “Seriously. You need to stop, it’s not cute. It’s just annoying.”

Hux realised that it had been silly to assume that the sandwiches had been for him. Of course they weren’t. Why would anybody prepare sandwiches for him? Silly.

He just nodded at the quartermaster and continued his work.

The quartermaster huffed and left.


	8. Increasing Output

Rose realised about 20 minutes later that Hux was hunched over his pad, ignoring the sandwiches next to him. He looked smaller than before, she wasn’t sure how this was possible for a man this tall, but he did. “I’m sorry that you had to see that, it’s embarrassing to be honest. She just doesn’t get boundaries.”

He only glanced briefly at her. “I don’t mind.”

“Anyway, the sandwiches are here. So just take them, alright?”

“They are for you,” he said without looking up. “I’m not hungry after breakfast anyway.”

“Okay, then I’ll eat them. I admit that I skipped breakfast this morning to get an early start.” She stood up and took the tray from his table. It irked her that her mother’s plan worked but it was silly to let the food go to waste. She ate the sandwiches quickly in order to return to assemble the prototype as fast as possible.

Around lunchtime she had put it together, all she needed to do was to test it. The easiest way would be to mount it on a fighter and fly targeting practice here on the planet. She was itching to try it out but at the same time she realised that she had again forgotten to ask Hux if he wanted tea or a break of any kind.

She stared at the engine. Damn, she wanted to install it so badly! She looked back up to Hux who was typing away on the pad. Her mother had been right about one thing: he did look way too skinny for a man of his height.

“It’s time for lunch, Hux,” she finally said and put the hydrospanner down.

“Already?”

“Yeah, I know. If you want we can hurry - I’ve got the prototype ready and I’m dying to run a few tests,” she added hastily. Perhaps he was motivated to take a short lunch break? So that she could get going as fast as possible?

His eyes went wide. “You’re finished already?” He hesitated for a moment, then he took his holo out of his bag and made a picture of the protype. He noticed her baffled stare and said in a low voice. “I wanted to commemorate the occasion… Can’t we skip lunch and go right to the tests?”

Damn, he didn’t make it easy. “Uh, yeah… but listen. What if we grab a quick bite before that? So that we don’t go hungry in the afternoon?”

As soon as she said that she realised that he couldn’t eat fast - he said it himself, he was checking his food for sharp objects. He couldn’t hurry.

He shifted in his seat. “Right, I- you can hurry if you want. You don’t have to wait for me.” He stumbled on his feet and took his crutch.

She watched him poking around in his food, he was apparently trying to hurry up but he was still a slow eater. They sat alone at a table in a corner. He looked stressed as he chewed his food. Against her will she felt bad. She shouldn’t have rushed him like that. He clearly wasn’t comfortable.

“Hey, listen. Slow down, okay?” she finally said. “We don’t need to rush.”

“It’s fine,” he just said, continuing to shove food in his mouth.

“Sometimes I get overexcited,” she sighed. “It really doesn’t matter if I’m installing the thing now or half an hour later.”

He gulped. “Just go ahead, I can’t help you anyway with the crutch.”

This was the last straw, she offered to wait, didn’t she? She almost jumped up from her chair. “Okay, if you say so! See you!”

She hurried back in the lab, grabbed the cannon and jogged to the hangar with Poe’s fighter. With the help of one of the mechanics she had installed it about a half an hour later. Then she called Poe on his holo.

“Poe!”

“Rose - what happened?” there was a worried look on Poe’s face.

“Poe! Come quick! I installed the prototype on your fighter!”

“Stars! Two minutes!”

Rose had barely put the holo away when Poe stormed into the hangar with BB-8 in tow.

“Rose!”

“Poe!”

“Rose!” He hugged her and beamed. “The _Iron Butterfly_ will take flight right away!” He climbed into the cockpit and put on his helmet while BB-8 hoisted itself up in its proper place.

“Go easy, alright?” said Rose. “The scans look good but there is a reason why we need to do a couple of tests.”

“I know. I may not look like it but I’m not a reckless moron,” he said with a smile and ignited the engines.

Rose stepped back, rubbing her hands over her overalls. She watched him take off, only now she realised that she hadn’t waited for Hux. She was surprised to discover that she was feeling guilty. She pulled her holo out and called him.

Hux’s small blueish figure appeared on the holo, it seemed that he was sitting. “Where are you Hux? Are you back in the lab?”

“I am.”

“I thought you would come in the hangar, didn’t you want to see it installed?”

“I did, but you didn’t tell me which hagar it was, so I returned to the lab.”

“Stars! I’m sorry, I’m such a dork! Why didn’t you call me?”

“I felt it was inappropriate.” He held his pad up. “And I have another assignment I need to finish.”

“I’m in hangar 21, are you sure you don’t want to come by?”

Hux shook his head. “It’s too far for me just to have a look. If you could just send me the data from the tests…”

“Okay, will do.”

They ended the call and Rose cursed under her breath. She hadn’t meant for Hux to stay behind. Well, it’s not like she could change the past. And it was only Hux, right? But then why did she feel bad about it?

Before she had time to think about it further Poe returned. He landed his fighter as smoothly as always and grinned at her.

“It works like a charm!”

Rose smiled back. “Can you send me the flight data? We need to make sure that everything is working as intended.” Before she finished the sentence she saw that the data had already arrived on her pad. She forwarded it to Hux.

“What’s the secondary weapon? I saw it but wasn’t sure if I should use it,” asked Poe as he climbed out of the cockpit.

“That one needs some work, but maybe we can implement it soon. It’s a shield scrambler.”

“Ugh, boring. I was hoping for something more exciting.”

Rose laughed, “Not everything is about blasting things.”

He came over and hugged her while BB-8 was beeping cheerfully. “Hear that? BB-8 liked it too!”

Rose let go of Poe and knelt down to BB-8. The droid beeped loudly and spun its body around its own axis.

“Really? You know what? I’ll add that to my data. I didn’t know that interfaces could feel smooth.”

Rose stood up and typed an addendum on her pad.

“I knew you could do it, Rose. You’re a genius!”

“And you are a flatterer! It wasn’t my prototype by the way - I just built it and tweaked it a little. Hux drew up the blueprints.”

The grin faded from Poe’s face. “What?”

“Don’t look so shocked. He’s a weapon designer, of course I would task him to draw up plans.”

He rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah, I know. It’s just… it’s a little uncanny to think that he’s on our side now.”

She frowned. “Okay, you lost me. You’re the one to drag him to every social gathering - why would you do that if you think he’s not on our side?”

“Because he’s alone and scared,” he said with a sad smile.

“What?”

“Finn told me that in the Order it’s eat or be eaten. Hux probably never experienced anybody being nice to him. All this is new to him, and confusing. If we leave him alone he will stay in his own world, where everybody is out to get him. He will never really join us unless we drag him in kicking and screaming.”

Rose inhaled. “I’m such an idiot. And I kept wondering why you spend so much time with him.”

Poe patted her back. “That is the genius of my leadership.”

Rose chuckled, “You are a dork.”

Hux perked up when his pad chimed. He scrolled through the data and allowed himself a small smile. The tests looked good, the output of the new cannon was stable too. The handling appeared to be in order too.

His pad chimed a second time and an addendum appeared: “BB-8 reports that the interface to the cannon is ‘very smooth’.”

What a weird woman, had she really questioned an astro-droid? But then again it was an interesting input. He had never thought that droids registered what kind of interfaces there were.

When he looked through the data he noticed that she had apparently made some modifications to his plans. The output of the cannon was slightly higher than calculated. He frowned. How had she- She had fine-tuned the frequency of the phaser-emitters! How in the galaxy had she done that?

The door slid open and Tico appeared, followed by Dameron and an orange-white BB unit.

“Hugs!”

Hux rolled his eyes. He should have known that Dameron would be the test pilot. “Commander Dameron.”

The BB unit beeped in binary and rolled towards Hux.

“Yes, I’m the one to design it,” he replied with a frown. He hadn’t been aware that BB units had so much personality.

Beep-bop.

“I don’t know. I just tried to align it so that it would fit.”

“Good job, Hugs! I can’t wait to test it in combat!”

What was he supposed to say? “I just completed the assignment I was given.” He caught Tico’s eye. “I saw that you modified the PZ-emitters.”

She shrugged. “Yeah, I played around with them. It’s better now.”

“It is- but how did you find the right frequency?”

“PZ-emitters have an optimal latitude at 0.234 megaherz. If you pump them up to 0.236 they burn hotter, it’s a problem on hot planets - that’s why it isn’t recommended. But honestly, they can take a lot more heat than the producer thinks.”

Hux stared at her. “You took into account that they’re liquid-cooled by the subsystems.”

“Yep.”

He had clearly underestimated her. What a brilliant idea to boost the cannons! Perhaps she could help with the scrambler? A woman of her wit could clearly help with the design! “Have you looked at the draft of the scrambler?”

“The IN-port is a problem.”

“I thought about using a bypass.”

“Yeah, but why not just use a tweaked H8-interface to punch the code through?”

An H8! Why hadn’t he thought of that himself? Stupid! He gritted his teeth and pulled up the schematics. An H8!

“Uh, I’m going then,” said Dameron.

Hux lifted his head. He had forgotten that Dameron was still here.

“Thanks Poe,” said Tico and stepped next to Hux to look at the blueprint. She glanced over his shoulder. “Maybe we should put it on the large holo.”

“Good idea,” said Hux and activated it remotely. He got up and limped over. He was curious how she would solve the transmission problem. It would probably take them some time to-

Tico pointed at the programming of the command to interrupt the navigational shields. “Wouldn’t it be easier if you just used a brute force attack on the computer core? I mean… the system is going to overload the moment it gets stuck by the message anyway. It’s not elegant but it should get the job done.”

He gaped at her. How could she just come up with all these solutions in a matter of seconds? She really was brilliant!

“You- you’re right. I didn’t think of that.”

She put her hands on her hips and smiled at him. “I think we make quite a team! I mean - you came up with the plans in, like, a day and here we are! Let’s celebrate with a mug of tea in the Cantina! Or better yet! Let’s take the tea outside and enjoy the sun for a moment or two before we head back in here!”

Hux hesitated. Perhaps he should just stay here and keep working. On the other hand it was tempting… taking a break, seeing the sun again. It had been quite some time. “Why not?”

“Great so you just head down the hallway and turn right two times, then you’re at the south exit. I’ll go get the tea. Black?”

He nodded and grabbed his crutch.

He almost reached the exit when he heard a voice behind him. “You missed the Cantina in case that’s where you’re heading.”

He turned around, his arm was hurting from exertion and so was his leg. It was the quartermaster. He gritted his teeth. “I’m on my way to the exit… what is your rank and name?”

“Company Sergeant Major Thanya Tico if you must know.”

“Well, Sergeant Major Tico - I’m not lost in case that’s what you’re insinuating.”

She lifted her chin and stepped in front of him. She barely reached his chest. “Did she eat the sandwiches?”

He blinked. “Yes, she did.”

She smiled. “I knew it. A mother always knows. She forgets to eat and to drink enough water when she’s working.” Hux looked at her, wondering if that was how all mothers were. Had his been like this? According to his father she had been a dim-witted lowly servant, only interested in the money he paid her-

“Mom!”

The smile vanished from Sergeant Major Tico’s face and an expression of surprise took hold of her features. “Ro-Ro? You’re taking a break?”

“Duh! I told you that I don’t need you breathing down my neck to take care of myself.” She lifted the two mugs of tea in the air.

“I just-”

“What are you doing out here anyway? I told you to stop micromanaging me!”

For a moment an expression of hurt crossed over the quartermasters’ face. She frowned and left.

“Sorry - again. It’s complicated,” said Sergeant Tico.

“I- uh, I don’t mind.”

She sighed. “Come on, there is a nice spot over there.”

She led the way to a small patch of grass near the entrance. Somebody had put a few tree trunks there. They sat down and she handed him his tea.

He inhaled the scent of the nearby forest and squinted. The sun was warm, in the distance he could hear birds chirping. It was nice.

“I shouldn’t be so hard on her,” Tico began, “I mean- I’m all that’s left of our family. But she’s suffocating me. And the way she looks at me sometimes-” she broke off. “Sorry, I’m still talking about family stuff.”

“I don’t mind,” he said again in a low voice. What else was he supposed to say? Did it mean that she didn’t like her mother? Or was it always like this in… normal families?

“What about your family?”

Hux considered his answer, in the end he decided to go with the truth. “You probably know that I’m a bastard - I don’t remember my birth mother but I’m told she was a daft, lowly servant. My father and my step-mother raised me.”

“I didn’t know you were an illegitimate child.”

He scoffed, “Really? Then why did Dameron make fun of my mother if he didn’t know? No matter. They’re all dead anyway.”

“I really don’t think that Poe knew…. I guess they were in the Order - did they fall in battle?”

He took a sip of tea. “My step-mother died about a decade ago in her bed. Some mysterious illness. Perhaps my father got sick of her. As for my father - I poisoned him.”

Tico almost spit out her tea. “What?!”

“He deserved it, believe me. The galaxy is better off without him.”

“Kriff.”

He gulped his tea down. “Let’s go back inside. We have quite a bit of work ahead of us.”

Hux realised that he was actually looking forward to work with her.


	9. Solving Difficult Equations

Rose was quiet when they walked back. She glanced from time to time at Hux, he really looked different without his black uniform, less pale and less driven somehow. He looked like a human being, with his bright hair and the stubble.

But in the end he was still General Hux of the First Order, the architect of Starkiller, the butcher of Crait. A man who freely admitted that he killed his own father. And the way he had slit the Stormtroopers throat with practiced ease…

And yet he was one of the Resistance greatest assets. The spy who had saved them from extinction, who transmitted valuable, life-saving intel and risked his own life to save them.

He was like a double-edged sword, she realised. A deadly weapon that could burn the galaxy down or save it. He seemed to notice her glances and frowned a little. But he didn’t look angry, he looked... sad.

Even Poe thought that he was lonely. She realised that she had forgotten to ask him why he had thought that Hux was the spy in the first place. She got the feeling that she was missing something but she couldn’t put her finger on it.

They worked in silence for the rest of the day. Only exchanging brief comments on technical issues. He really had an impressive grasp of tech, a broad knowledge about almost every system and program there was - at least in theory.

She noticed that dinner time approached. “Dinner time,” she said and massaged her stiff neck. Damn it, she really shouldn’t sit bent over like this.

“You go on ahead,” he said in a low voice. “I’ll just finish this up.”

“I know that trick - and then you just keep on working, huh? Not with me - we’re going together.”

For a moment she almost thought that he looked relieved. Nah, that had been her imagination.

“When do you think you’ll have the scrambler ready?” he asked as he grabbed his crutch.

“In an hour or so, maybe I’ll continue after dinner and install the thing. Then Poe can take the fighter for a spin in the morning… although we need a target to simulate the navigational shield.”

“We could rig a resistance ship with a transponder.”

“Good idea, but that’s something we can think about tomorrow.”

He tried to keep up with her quick steps. “I- I thought that as a side project we could improve the fighter’s shields. A TIE-fighter plasma bolt could be slightly deflected if we adjust the shield output to the right frequency.”

He was chattier than usual and she didn’t know why. Perhaps he was just excited about the possibility of designing new tech? Well, it was understandable. “Why not? We should just keep our focus on the tracker.”

They entered the Cantina, it was quite crowded. They waited for a bit until some people left and sat down.

“Be right back,” said Rose.

“Uh, Sergeant Tico - I can get the food myself. It’s stew, right? That should be easy enough to carry.”

“Suit yourself,” she put a hydrospanner and an oily rag on their chairs to mark them as taken and they went to the counter.

Back at the table Rose noticed that Hux looked strained. It was quite hot in the Cantina and there was a thin film of sweat on his face.

“Hey Rose!” said Aish from behind her.

She turned on her chair to face him. “Evening! I didn’t see you at the huttball match, I thought you loved that stuff.”

“I do! But you know how it is - I got to finish some work first.”

“Ugh, you don’t have to tell me.”

“Alright, I gotta go - see you!”

Aish left and Rose turned back to Hux. He looked confused. “I thought you liked working on the secondary weapon.”

“I do.”

“Then why did you just now-”

“It’s just small-talk - everybody moans about their work-load. It would be impolite to say otherwise.”

“I see.” He chewed slowly, apparently processing the new piece of information. He looked as if he was solving a difficult equation in his head.

“Did you work a lot on fighters back in the Order?” she asked.

“No, we received the newest models from our manufacturers. There was no need for me to work on them. But I went through their technical specifications - as a commanding officer I needed to know their capabilities.”

“Makes sense.”

“How do you know so much about fighters and weapons?” he asked after a short pause.

“I was always good with tech. It’s basically learning by doing for me with most systems - they all follow the same principles so it’s not that hard.”

He put his spoon down. “Most people don’t see it that way.”

She shrugged. “Most people are better shots than me, so there’s that. I do what I can to help the cause. It’s not particularly heroic but it doesn’t need to be.”

Paige had been the bold one of them, she was just- Rose. She eyed Hux, he was staring at her blankly. Why was she even going on about it to him?

He looked down on his hands. “Not everybody can be a hero.”

“Sadly, no - not everybody is cut out to be a hero.” She pushed her plate away. “Not everybody is brave.” She couldn’t help but sound bitter. If only she had done more… somehow, made some effort to reinforce the bombers- increase their speed… anything. If only.

After dinner she bid Hux good night and returned to the lab. She was feeling down, memories of Paige haunted her - beautiful, smart Paige. The way she had laughed, the way she swore that even space pirates would blush, the way she teased Rose… all gone.

She worked slowly but steadily and after she had finished she went to the hangar to install the updated version of the secondary weapon.

She wiped her hands on her overalls and stepped out of the hangar. Above her she could see the moons and the stars, cicadas were chirping in the woods. She sat down on a patch of grass right outside the hangar and looked to the nightly sky.

She used to do that with Paige when they were still on Hays Minor.

 _‘Look at that, Ro,’_ her sister used to say. _‘A galaxy full of planets and stars and we are stuck on the most boring one.’_

Everything was boring to Paige. Everything except flying. Her eyes started to gleam, her smile became wider. She lived for that moment when she took off, that moment of absolute freedom.

Rose could hear rustling and in the dim light she could see a small feline stalking through the grass, sniffing at her boots. It was a loth-cat, probably smelling the scent of the porgs from the _Millenium Falcon_.

She sniffled. “Hey little guy.”

The loth-cat, a dark-furred animal with a bright orange belly craned its neck before it ran back into the underwood. Rose let herself fall on her back, feeling the cool grass against her neck. Paige also loved all kinds of animals, but her greatest love had been flying.

_‘It’s the best feeling, you just lack the imagination to get it.’_

_‘It’s just acceleration, Pei-Pei.’_

_‘No, when you jump to hyperspace everything becomes possible, every adventure is out there, waiting for us.’_

Rose sniffled again and blinked tears away. If only she had come up with some miraculous shield that would have saved Paige. She grabbed her medallion so hard that her knuckles turned white. If only.

Hux was on his way to the lab in the morning when a klaxon started to whail. In a matter of seconds the hallway was full of pilots scrambling to their fighters, almost running over Hux who barely managed to get out of the way.

He stood in a corner and watched the rebels scurry to their posts. From a distance he saw Captain Finn rushing towards the command center. Something major was going on, after a short moment Hux started to hobble towards the command center - he needed to know what was happening.

The first thing he noticed was General Organa standing in front of a large holo table, watching a transmission. Hux squinted. It was the Force user - Rey.

“...I tried to shake them off but they followed us through the erratic hyper jumps,” she said. Her holo picture flickered.

“Jump to the coordinates we’ve sent you, Rey,” said Organa in a commanding voice. “Our fighters will be ready to take your pursuers on.”

Hux stayed in the back, he wasn’t sure if he was allowed in here but considering that he wasn’t exactly hiding and nobody shooed him away he assumed that it wasn’t forbidden.

General Organa turned to a blonde, light-skinned human officer. “ETA?”

“Eight minutes, 34 seconds, General.”

Captain Finn was staring at the holo. “Rey - Poe is coming for you. Just stay alive, okay?”

“That’s the plan, Finn,” replied Rey with a quick smile.

Hux frowned. This was hardly the time for sentimentality. Why were they-

Sergeant Tico burst into the room, panting. She stepped to the holo and put her hand on Captain Finn’s arm and squeezed it lightly. Then she saw Hux and frowned, General Organa seemed to notice and followed her gaze. Hux gulped when he caught her eye.

“General Hux, step over here please,” said Organa calmly. Despite her politeness there was no doubt that it was an order. Hux straightened his back and joined the others at the holo table.

“Lieutenant Connix?” asked Organa and turned to the blonde officer.

“ETA four minutes, 12 seconds.”

“How many TIE fighters are on your tail, Rey?”

“---ink, abou--- ---ty.” The holo flickered stronger.

“Rey, you are breaking up,” said Captain Finn. “Please repeat.”

“--abou-- -- twenty.”

Organa turned to Finn. “Call Poe, tell him that he is to expect a heavy fight.” Captain Finn nodded and stepped to a smaller comm console.

“General Hux,” said Organa with a stern glare, “your analysis?”

Everybody at the table jerked their heads around, glaring disbelievingly at her and then at him.

Hux lifted his chin. “Standard procedure is to corner the enemy then call for back-up. I expect at least one destroyer to jump to the coordinates once the battle starts.”

General Organa nodded and turned to Rey. “We can’t engage, we need to distract them and continue with the erratic jumps.”

“Hux, the prototype - it’s installed,” said Sergeant Tico.

“But it’s not tested yet,” he replied.

“When push comes to shove we’ll need it, how many seconds before the jump?”

“Three seconds, or the system may reboot.”

“Rose?” asked Organa in a sharp voice. “What is this about?”

“A prototype weapon we have designed, it’s not yet tested but-”

“General! ETA 30 seconds!”

Finn returned to the table. “Poe is ready.”

Hux noticed the tension in the room, he had never seen anything like it. On the _Finalizer_ there had been a calm, controlled environment. Professional and cold. Not, here - everybody seemed worried. Everybody except Organa seemed on edge, but of course a veteran commander like her has seen her share of battles.

The holo switched to the radar of Dameron’s fighter and in a matter of seconds they saw small dots emerging from hyperspace - it was the freighter with the Force-user trailed by a squadron of TIE-fighters.

The freighter made evasive manoeuvres, but its sluggish movement suggested that there had been some damage to the thrusters. The Rebels engaged and a wild dog-fight started, one fighter chasing another, covering the damaged freighter.

“Poe, you need to get out of there,” said Organa, “a destroyer is on it’s way. You won’t stand a chance against its ventral cannons.”

“Roger, but we need a little more time. Rey and Chewie need to reroute power for the next jump.”

Hux noticed that Captain Finn was clenching his fists while staring at the holo. He turned his attention again on the fight, the destroyer would appear in a matter of seconds. As soon as he had finished his thought a destroyer appeared out of hyperspace, almost crushing two Rebel fighters with its massive hull.

“Poe! Come on!” said Finn in a low voice.

“I’m ready to jump,” said Rey suddenly. “I don’t know how many I’ll manage before the power converter melts.”

Tico grabbed the edge of the holo table with her hands. “Poe! Fire the secondary weapon, jump exactly - I repeat - _exactly_ three seconds later.”

“What the-”

“Just do it!” she practically yelled.

Hux grabbed his crutch firmer and pressed his lips together. He had recognized the TIE fighters - they were from the 31th Delta squadron. They had served more than once under his command.

They saw a single blast from Poe’s fighter, it hit one of the TIE-fighters and Poe screamed “Jump!”

The freighter jumped and about 15 TIE-fighters exploded. One was shot down by Dameron before he jumped too.

Hux’s throat laced up, it worked - it worked and with one fell swoop he killed 15 good soldiers. He averted his gaze and heard gasps.

“What- what was that?” asked the blonde officer.

“A prototype weapon Hux invented, it disables the navigational shields. They were destroyed by space debris as soon as they jumped to hyperspace,” replied Tico.

Hux closed his eyes. It was war - people die, simple as that. He steadied himself and looked back up. General Organa was looking him straight in the eye, he made an effort to hold her gaze.

The rest of the battle was quickly over - the Rebels destroyed the remaining fighters before they made their last jump back to the base. Nobody seemed to mind him and Hux hobbled out of the command center. He felt hot and the air seemed stuffy. He decided that he needed fresh air.

The sun was warm, the scent of the forest greeted him the moment he left the base. He went to the same place he had been with Sergeant Tico and sat down on the tree trunk. He took a deep breath and wiped over his face.

Kriff. They had been his soldiers for years and now-

“Are you alright?”

The question derailed his thoughts and he realised that Sergeant Tico was standing next to him; he hadn’t heard her approach.

He ran his hand through his hair. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You looked miserable in there.”

He had always prided himself in excellent self-control, it seemed that he was losing his edge. He had done what was right, he was following through with his decision… but then why did it feel like he had a mistake? Why did he feel guilty?


	10. Empty Uniform

Rose sat down next to him. “I thought you’d be excited that your design worked.” He remained silent and she continued. “We need to analyse the data once Poe is back-”

“It was the 31th Delta squadron,” Hux burst out. “They’re not just data.”

Rose started to pick her hands. “They were our enemies.”

He exhaled. “I know… I knew when I decided to abandon the Order... I just wasn’t in the mood for elation.”

She pulled her legs up and hugged them. She hadn’t expected this reaction. A glance at Hux revealed that he was staring again out in the woods. The sunrays pronounced his ginger hair and pale skin as well as his seemingly forest green eyes. She also noticed his stubble. Again she was taken aback how different he looked from the man she had seen on holos, how had sneered at her back on the _Supremacy_.

Hux looked softer, it wasn’t the lack of the uniform or the lose strands of bright hair. It was the expression on his face, the way he pressed his lips together, the frown that told her that he had really meant what he had said.

The infamous General Hux of the First Order was really touched by a loss of life. Even after everything he had done… and yet somehow she wasn’t shocked, she wasn’t even surprised. There was something about him, the way he seemed to shrink sometimes despite his height, the way he looked pale and haunted told her that he still felt, that he still cared. He wasn’t indifferent.

“War is a strange thing, isn’t it?” she said and put her chin on the top of her knees. “We risk our lives and kill others and even feel good about it.”

Hux glanced at her for the briefest moment as if he was surprised that she was still there. “I used to think it’s a necessity, I’m not so sure anymore.”

“Sometimes it is a necessity.”

“I’m surprised that a Rebel would say that,” Hux said in a low voice.

“Killing people is wrong, no doubt about it. But doing nothing in face of evil is also wrong.” Rose let go of her knees and sat up straighter. “Maybe war is temporary insanity.”

He looked down on his hands. “Perhaps it is.”

A rustling in the underwood made them both turn their attention to the nearby bush. The large leaves rustled and a loth-cat appeared. It had dark red fur and its belly was orange. The animal turned its large ears towards them and blinked.

Rose slid from the tree trunk and reached out with her hand. The loth-cat’s bushy tail went up in the air and it started to sniff, slowly creeping closer to Rose’s fingers.

“What is that?” whispered Hux.

“It’s a loth-cat,” she said and smiled when the animal’s tiny nose made contact with her fingertips. “They live around the base and some of them are rather tame. They’re very curious.”

The loth-cat was now close enough for Rose to pet it, she slowly, very slowly started to scratch behind its ear. In a matter of seconds it leaned against her hand and started to purr.

Hux moved and the rustling of his clothes startled the loth-cat, it jumped back and disappeared into the underwood.

Rose got up and wiped her hands on her overalls. “They’re also very shy.” She turned around just in time to see Hux staring at the forest wide-eyed. He blinked and rearranged his face into a neutral expression.

“What- what was that sound?”

“Felines purr if they are scratched, it’s a sign of contentment. It feels really good when they do it, and their fur is soft and silky. You should try it next time.”

He stared again into the woods. “You think it will let me pet it?”

She shrugged. “Why not? Come on, let’s go back inside. It won’t be long before Poe returns and we still have a lot of work to do.”

They barely made it to the lab when they heard Poe’s voice ring out, “Rose! Hugs!”

Just hearing him made Rose smile, she turned around just in time to get a heartfelt hug. Poe lifted her up in the air. “Damn it! You did it, Rose!”

He gently put her back down and pulled a very surprised Hux into a hug. “Hugs!”

“Dameron,” pressed Hux out with what little air was left in his lungs after Poe’s bear hug. “Kindly release me.”

Poe let go of him and gave him a slap on his shoulder. “It was incredible! We got away without a single casualty! And Rey made it too!”

Rose put one of her hands on her hip. “Of course, was there ever any doubt about it?”

“Of course not! You guys are great! Now, if you’ll excuse me - General Organa wants to talk to the hero of the hour!”

With these words he all but ran down the hallway.

“He’s certainly enthusiastic,” said Hux with a frown.

“Well, his good mood is infectious, don’t you think so?” she chuckled.

“I can see a certain method to his madness,” said Hux before he walked the last few meters to the lab.

“His leadership style may be unique but it’s effective.” Rose stopped in front of the lab. “The data is coming in. Do you want to sit this one out?”

“No, I just wasn’t keen on celebrating. But I’m still committed to my assignment.”

“Alright, I’ll just go and greet Rey. You can start without me if you want to.”

He stood in the doorway of the lab. “Ah… I understand.” He turned and headed inside.

Rose turned on her heel and headed towards the hangar the _Millenium Falcon_ was usually docked. Chewie was just walking down the ramp when she reached the ship.

He roared and pulled Rose into a tight hug with his strong arms.

“Hello big guy!” said Rose, trying not to get any of his fur into her mouth when she was speaking.

“Hi Rose!”

Chewie let her go and Rey appeared at the ship’s exit. She held a porg in her arms, petting it as the creature cooed.

“Where have you been? I was worried,” said Rose and approached her to give her a tender hug lest she wouldn’t squeeze the porg.

“I was trying to keep track of Ren, using my Force bond… but turns out I wasn’t the only one using it to my own advantage. We were on Mortis and I thought that we had finally found Ren’s source of power - but it was a trap and we barely made it out by the skin of our teeth. You know the rest.” Rey continued to pet the porg.

“Yeah, I do,” Rose shuddered a little. “Rey- I’m so relieved that you’re back. Please promise me that you won’t go on a wild bantha-chase like this anymore.”

Rey put the porg down and it scurried back up the ramp. “I can’t promise that. We need to stop Ren - and the Force... sometimes I get a feeling that’s so strong that I just _know_ that I have to follow it.”

“Screw the Force,” Rose crossed her arms.

Rey smiled. “I wish it were so easy.” She gave Rose’s arm a gentle squeeze before she left.

Rose looked after her. She was strong, just as strong as Paige had been. Perhaps that’s why Rey reminded her so much of Paige.

She sniffled a little. Something about seeing Rey always gave her a stab in her heart, just like back then when she had lifted the rocks that blocked the exit on Crait. Rose had been with General Organa, supporting her while Finn and Poe were staring in amazement as the heavy boulders were lifted up in the air as if they didn’t weigh anything.

The moment had been so surreal that when Rose had caught sight of the tall dark-haired woman she had for a fraction of a second believed that it was Paige. And for a fraction of a second the galaxy was alright again.

Of course she’d known that it couldn’t be Paige but in that brief moment where the seemingly impossible became possible… Rose sniffled again. She failed Paige, but she wouldn’t fail Rey.

Hux had to admit that the data was indeed very interesting. It showed that the Order hadn’t changed procedures yet. He almost scoffed. Pryde really was an idiot. The first thing he would have done was to change protocols when a high-ranking officer changed sides.

He couldn't rely on Pryde’s blindness of course. At some point one of the capable Generals would make sure that this wouldn’t happen again.

But they couldn’t change certain technical facts, for example, the system the TIE-fighters and the dreadnaughts ran on. Hm, that-

A cup of tea appeared out of thin air on his workbench. Hux gaped at it before realising that Sergeant Tico was standing next to him.

“Thank you, Sergeant.”

“No problem, I needed a cup of caf,” she smiled at him and he could feel the tips of his ears getting warm. Stars, that smile. How could she smile like that?

“So, I looked at the data and I’m thinking… that trick won’t work a second time, right?”

He took the tea and blew on it. “It’s at least unlikely. It will take a while to change the codes in every squadron but a simple subroutine in the navigation system should prevent a hyper-jump unless the shields are active.”

She smiled roguishly. “Then let’s use that to our advantage.”

He stared at her. “How?”

“We can still deploy the weapon, even if they don’t jump to hyperspace right away because our signal is still coming through and it will delay them for at least… 5 seconds until they can make a second attempt.. We just need to make quick double-jumps to lose them.”

Brilliant! She was brilliant, Hux thought in awe. She had the perfect mind for asymmetrical warfare!

“I get the feeling that we’re getting good at this, Hux,” she said with a satisfied smirk on her lips. “All we need to do now is-”

“-get some lunch!”

They both swirled around to see Sergeant Major Tico standing behind them.

“It’s 13:02 and you are still working!”

Sergeant Tico groaned. “Come on!”

“Have you no heart?” exclaimed Sergeant Major Tico. “Look at that gaunt face of this man! Clearly he needs to eat!”

Hux glared at her. “I’m not gaunt!”

She continued as if she hadn’t even heard him. “I know I raised you better, Rose Tico!”

“Ugh, alright. If it will shut you up.” She put her caf down and hurried out of the lab, her mother in tow.

Hux was perplexed how fast they had moved and struggled to get on his feet and grab his crutch. He was already on his way when he realised that he could have just stayed in the lab, they were obviously absorbed with each other.

Well, if he was out here he might as well get something to eat. He hobbled to the Cantina only to realise that it was more crowded than usual. He looked around and spotted the Ticos sitting at a table with Dameron and Finn. There were already five plates on the table, the table was already full. He scanned the room again and didn’t see a free seat.

He felt uncomfortable and turned to leave, he could go back to the lab and-

“Hux! Over here!”

Baffled he jerked his head in the direction of the speaker and saw Sergeant Tico waving her hand. He crossed the room. “Yes?”

“Come on, we already got you a plate,” said Tico and gestured towards the free seat.

“Ah, I thought the seat was already taken,” he replied lamely as he sat down.

“Nope,” said Dameron with his infuriating hopeful smile. “We just waited for you. Stars, you’re slow Hugs. How long until you can get rid of the crutch?”

“A week longer I think,” he replied. Was this a jab at him or not? It was hard to tell with Dameron. Had they really waited for him? That was unlikely. Yes, Dameron was just making fun of him. But how should he react?

From the corner of his eye he saw how Sergeant Major Tico scraped some of her food onto her daughter’s plate. Sergeant Tico glared at her but in the end she started to eat.

“That’s quite a trick you and Rose pulled,” said Captain Finn.

“Trick?”

“Yeah, I mean - how else would you call your idea to disable navigational shields?” he said with a chuckle.

Hux frowned. Was this another attempt to mock him?

Finn turned to Sergeant Tico. “Why does he look so grumpy?”

She shrugged. “That’s kind of his default mode.” She squinted her eyes. “But if I had to guess I would say that’s because he doesn’t know what to say. Humour confuses him.”

“I’m not confused by humour! It’s just- this is just another attempt to ridicule me!” he burst out before he could pull himself together. “And I have no intention to let you insult me by accommodating your questions!”

They all stared at him. Then Sergeant Tico cleared her throat. “Come on, Hux. Nobody is mocking you. On the contrary, why do you think we waited for you, huh?”

Hux realised that he had made a fool of himself. He could feel heat creeping hup his cheeks. He should have stayed quiet.

_Stupid, weak, silly boy. Thin as a slip of paper and just as useless._

“Do you want to know why I thought you were the spy, Hugs?” said Dameron suddenly and wiped his lips with a napkin before leaning back in his chair.

That turn of topic made Hux blink in confusion. “What?”

“It was because of the way you reacted on D’Qar. I pulled this stupid stunt to buy us time, and believe me, in hindsight I regret it more than- more than anything.”

“Poe-” began Sergeant Tico.

“Please Rose, let me finish,” said Dameron in a soft voice. He leaned forward, closer to Hux. “As you probably know, cracking a joke or making stupid puns is my go-to move. Even when I was captured back on Jakku, or when I was strapped to the torture rack and interrogated by Ren.” He grimaced. “So I did what I always do, I made some silly comment about Ren’s appearance to get a reaction, to know that there is still a human behind this mask. Do you know what kind of reaction I got? None, absolutely none.”

Hux frowned, unable to guess what Dameron was going to say next.

“It was like- like there was nothing behind this mask. No anger, no emotion, nothing. It was like he wasn’t even there,” continued Dameron. “Now - you, you were a different story. You reacted, you listened, you got angry… you were there, not just some empty uniform like the rest of them. That’s when I knew. You still cared because underneath all that First Order shit you were still a human.”

Hux stared blankly at him. What was he going on about?

“The next time I see Kylo Ren I won’t bother talking to him, because there’s nothing there. I don’t know about the Force but I know that whoever was under that mask is gone.”

He leaned back again and gave him a thin smile. “You on the other hand - I will never stop talking to you. Especially not when you and Rose saved the day with that secondary weapon of yours. So what if some of us were making fun of you - which we weren’t by the way -, don’t you get that it means that we care? Nothing is worse than indifference and we are all but indifferent towards you.”

Hux noted that Dameron didn’t say that they had any sympathies towards him and it put him at ease. Dameron was being candid and thinking about it Hux could see the logic behind his words. It would certainly explain why he had bothered to drag him into the Cantina from the very start.

“I see,” Hux said with a crooked eyebrow.

Rose looked incredulously at him. “Really?”

Hux nodded and shoved a forkful of food into his mouth. The longer he thought about it the more he understood that behind Dameron’s seemingly inane palaver was actually a sharp mind.

How curious.


	11. Birch in the Fall

The next week was more than busy, Rose worked from morning until late in the evening to fix and prepare the updated weapons for the fighter - and of course to take care of the everyday stuff that’s always popping up. Like when the heating unit failed and the base was getting clammy and chilly in the evening. Of course that thing had to fail in the beginning autumn and not in the summer, making everybody cranky.

Days started to blur into each other as she felt she could fall asleep standing. There was only one constant between the countless cups of caf and tea: Hux. He was there when she got to the lab and he was there when she left.

Tireless, brilliant and so damn fast with coming up with new plans and designs.

One day she came in only to discover that he was missing. She stopped dead in her tracks. Where was he? Had he fallen down or something? He couldn’t possibly be late.

She decided to go look for him and hurried to his quarters only to discover that they were empty, next stop was the command center and then the tree trunk outside the base where they had started to go during their nowadays not-so-rare breaks.

Hux was nowhere to be found. Rose was about to call him on the holo when she suddenly spotted him coming out of the med bay.

“Hux!” She quickly stepped into his way.

He turned to face her, surprise apparent on his face. “Sergeant Tico?”

Somehow he was even taller than before, she noticed with confusion. How- then she sight dropped and she noticed that he was standing on his own two legs without the crutch. “Oh, today was the day? Sorry, I kind of forgot.”

His face softened. “It’s not your task to keep track of my injuries - you’re busy enough with the maintenance schedule.”

“So - everything alright?”

“Yes, Dr. Kalonia said the nanobots have reconstructed the bone as planned. They also repaired the tissue damage from the blaster shot. So you don’t have to bother bringing me tea and caf - it’s my turn now.”

“Meh, I didn’t mind. Gave me an excuse to go for another mug when I was going stir-crazy.”

He gave her a small smile. “At least the soup incident won’t repeat itself.”

She crossed her arms in feigned indignation. “That was just one time - and who thought that holding two trays at once would be that hard?”

He laughed and the bright sound made a warm shiver run down her spine. Since when did Hux laugh? Come to think of it, when had he begun to smile at her? She couldn’t quite remember.

“Well, anyway - I worked yesterday evening a bit longer and I think I finished the plans for the updated cleaning droids.”

She started to beam. “You’re the best! Ugh, I was so sick of the mess in the hangar and the way we were displacing screws and bolts.”

He seemed to blush a little, perhaps he had gotten a cold when the heater was off? “I’m certain you will find ways to improve the plans, you always do.”

She waved aside. “You’re exaggerating.” She turned to walk back and noticed with surprise that he was now much faster - she had gotten used so much to his slow hobbling that his quick strides took her by surprise.

After dinner she decided to go for a walk outside. She put her jacket on and exited the base - then she saw Hux kneeling in front of a bush with his hand stretched out. Quietly she stepped forward and saw that a loth-cat was nibbling at something he was holding in his hand.

Gently he raised his other hand and was about to pet the loth-cat when it suddenly flinched and ran away.

“I’m sorry,” she said, “perhaps it sensed me.”

“Ah, Sergeant Tico…” he got up and brushed over his pants to get rid of the wet leaves. “I don’t think it was you. After all you can always pet the loth-cat.” He pulled the zipper of his dark leather jacket up. “I even brought a piece of sausage from the kitchen but it doesn’t let me pet it.”

“It takes time to build trust,” Rose said and wrapped her scarf tighter around her neck. “I guess it’s gotten used to me.”

“I think it’s female.”

“I bet you read up on loth-cats.”

His lips twitched. “Well, yes. I did. How did you know?”

She shrugged. “Because it’s what you do. Like when you read up about X-wings last week. And about huttball.”

“I like to be informed,” he said with a defensive undertone in his voice.

“Relax, I know.” She looked up at the setting sun and took a deep breath. The cold fresh air felt good. “I actually appreciate it.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, I had this foreman back on Hays Minor - when I was working in the mines. Brilliant guy, really good with rigging the equipment. But an arrogant dork. He thought he already knew everything about anything - stars know why. Bored me out of my mind with his rigid views on isolinear chips and how to use them.”

She almost said ‘You are not boring’ but she stopped herself in time. Why would she even say something like that? She set her gaze on him, he was still brushing off dirt from his pants.

Perhaps because it was true, whispered a tiny voice in the back of her mind. He was anything but boring. She actually liked going to lunch with him, talking to him about tech and silly things like huttball. He had such a curious mind, always thinking, probing and questioning.

And there was his underlying doubt that sometimes crept in, despite all his great blueprints and the ease he drew them up he still sometimes looked at her as if- as if he wanted her approval. She couldn’t figure out why in the galaxy he would want that.

From time to time he glanced at her with his blue-green eyes and- wait, that was not something she was supposed to notice. And neither was how warm and soft his hair looked in the evening light, like Vossian birch in the fall.

Kriff, she-

“Hey Rose, I was looking for you,” rang Rey’s voice out.

Rose turned to greet her. “Hey! I just had to get some fresh air,” she said a little too loud.

Rey closed in on them. She was wearing a light grey jacket and a cap. “Uh, it’s so cold. Why would anybody go outside? I swear, not even the nights on Jakku were this cold.”

“It’s just typical early autumn weather. Wait until winter before you complain.”

Rey rubbed her arms. Only now she looked at Hux. “Ah, I barely recognized you with the beard, General Hux. We seem to miss each other - I was wondering if I could have a word with you.”

Hux rolled his shoulders back. “Of course, but I still have work to do. If you would excuse me.” Without waiting for her to reply he briskly walked away.

Rey watched him leave. “He’s avoiding me. But now is perhaps not the best time to talk to him.”

Rose crooked her eyebrow. “Why should he be avoiding you?”

“Because he’s scared,” said Rey in a matter-of-fact tone.

“He’s always anxious, I mean this guy is so intense that it makes me tense just watching him trying to avoid conversation at dinner.”

Rey smiled. “He wasn’t scared before I arrived.”

“Well, he should be - I’m known for my mean left hook - and my trusty electro shock pod,” quipped Rose.

Rey laughed. “You’re right of course. I just wanted to ask how things are going with the tracker?” Her face darkened. “Ren is up so something, I can feel it. I can’t shake the feeling that we’re missing something and I need to know where he is.”

“Hux finished the blueprints and the programming yesterday. We’re assembling it now. The problem will be to gather enough data to see if it works - we thought of letting Poe jump through the galaxy a couple of times. In fact he already volunteered.”

Rey’s frown faded and she smiled. “Of course he would.”

“Come on, let’s go back inside before you freeze to death, desert girl,” said Rose with a chuckle. “How is your training coming along?”

They turned to head back inside. “Great, Leia is a wonderful teacher. And less melodramatic than her brother. But I can’t seem to keep my focus sometimes - it feels like my mind is drifting and I don’t even realise it.”

“Did that happen before?”

“Not like that, it feels like I’m seeing something from the corner of my eye and when I look it’s gone. It distracts me. Do you know that feeling?”

Rose shrugged and started to unwrap her scarf when they were inside. “No, not really. When I’m working I kind of lose myself in it - like getting into a flow.”

Rey sighed, “I wish I could do that.”

“And I wish I could levitate rocks, but here we are.”

Rey grabbed her by her shoulder and pressed her against her side. “You are horrible.”

“Not as bad as you,” she replied fondly.

Hux appeared exactly at 06:00 in the Cantina to get his oatmeal and his black tea. As usual there were only a handful of people at breakfast. He noticed with satisfaction that the Zabrak cook had everything ready the moment he entered.

“Thank you,” he said when he took the tray.

“No problem, Hux”

The mention of his name made him hesitate. “I- What is your name and rank?”

“Sergeant Tobo Suta at your services - well, at least if it’s about food.”

“Thank you, Sergeant Suta. I appreciate the efficiency.”

Suta put a toothpick in his mouth and chewed on it. “You’re different than I thought you would be.”

Should he ask what he meant by that? Perhaps he just wanted to insult him? No, so far the Rebels hadn’t mocked him. “Uh, am I?”

“I thought you would be an arrogant prick, but you’re just odd.”

“I don’t know what to say to that.”

“Keep up the good work around here and I will add cloudberries to your oatmeal,” said Suta before he turned around and disappeared in the galley behind him.

Hux blinked and then he went to an empty table and quickly ate his breakfast.

He took a holopic of his pad to commemorate the occasion, he had quite a collection of holopics now, he thought with pride. Then he started to run tests on the programming of the tracker, adding to the QS list whenever he found a bug. Damn it, programming really wasn’t his forte. His chronometer beeped at 06:51 and he went back to the Cantina to get two cups of caf.

When Sergeant Tico appeared at 07:02 he wordlessly handed her a cup. She didn’t say anything, as per usual. She didn’t like talking in the morning. She yawned and sat down at her desk, wiping across her face while rummaging in a drawer for a XP-hydrospanner. Her ponytail was sloppily bound and when she lowered her hand he saw that there was a tiny smudge of hydro-oil from the hydrospanner on her cheek.

She looked absolutely stunning. How she managed that so early in the morning was beyond him, but a woman like her - brilliant, practical and efficient - would of course know how to pull it off.

Soon she would have gulped down the caf, becoming more lively - there was a sparkle in her dark-brown eyes that mesmerized him, it reminded him of the glow of anti-matter when it was super-heated for an reactor. No, that was not it, it was powerful but kind at the same time…

He realised that he had been staring at her. He averted his gaze. He shouldn’t ogle her like that, she deserved better… she was a highly-intelligent, beautiful woman. She had probably already noticed him looking at her.

_Disgusting, weak._

Hot shame burned in his face. He wasn’t supposed to look at her like that. He was lucky that she didn’t call him out already. He stared at the reflection of his face on the pad display. Dameron would laugh at him in the face if he knew, would grin at him, ask him if he really thought that a pasty, skinny turncoat could expect anything else but contempt from any sentient being let alone a woman like her. She was kind to him because that was who she was - certainly it didn’t mean anything as Dameron would remind him.

Dameron would pat him on his shoulder like he sometimes did. ‘Don’t worry, Hugs. I’m certain that we’ll find an ex-First Order officer for you - somebody who doesn’t mind that you tried to kill them.’

Hux gulped. Best if he ignored his budding feelings towards Sergeant Tico - over time they would surely go away.

When they returned from lunch they found Rey waiting for them. Hux felt a cold shiver run down his spine, he straightened himself and looked her right in the eye. He collected his thoughts and tried to project calmness.

“Rey, how nice of you to visit the tech gremlins in their liar!” said Sergeant Tico.

“Of course,” she said with a smile. Then she turned to Hux. “Since we keep missing each other I thought I should come here. I wanted to talk to you about Kylo Ren.”

Hux nodded. “As you wish, Lord Rey.”

“And please - it’s just ‘Rey’. I’m not lord of anything.”

“As you wish,” he said again.

“Let’s go to the command center. Leia said that I could use her office.”

It made sense, to find a quiet place to talk. But he still didn’t like the idea of being alone with her - she was stronger than Ren. Stars knew what she was capable of.

She went ahead and he followed her, when he walked next to her he realised that she was about a head smaller than he was. Odd, up until now he thought that she was taller.

“Do you want to stop by in the Cantina for a cup of tea?” she asked. “I don’t want you to think that it’s an interrogation.”

He thought about it and decided that he was actually in the mood for tea. “Yes, please.”

They strode into the Cantina and Sergeant Suta handed him his black tea without him having to order. He beamed at Rey. “Good to see you!”

“Hi Tobo! Got any fruit tea?”

“For you - always.”

He gave her the tea and soon they entered the command center. Hux registered how all eyes were on Rey, nobody seemed to even see him. It seemed that his plan to blend in was working.

Rey sat down on General Organa’s armchair and he opted to sit down on a simple chair across from her. He could feel that he was tense, he tried to consciously relax his shoulders.

“I can sense that you are keyed up,” began Rey. “There is no need for that. I just want to ask you a couple of questions.”

“Of course,” he pressed out, stirring his tea. For a moment the clanking of his spoon was the only sound in the room.

“How are you, Hux?”

He froze. What did she mean by that? Was he supposed to feel in a certain way? “I’m fine.” Then, like an afterthought. “Everything is fine.”

“That’s nice to hear. I take it that you like working with Rose? You two seem to be quite a team.”

He resumed stirring his tea. “I enjoy working with Sergeant Tico.”

“I thought so, BB-8 told me that it likes the way you built interfaces. In my book that’s a huge compliment. So I took a gander at it and I like how you designed the access ports. It resembles the old Imperial tech I used to find on Jakku.”

He sat up a little straighter. “Really? I wasn’t aware. Perhaps that’s because I was trained by former Imperial engineers.”

She smiled a little. “Perhaps. Actually I’m a bit partial to Imperial tech - I used to live in the husk of an AT-AT. Their insulators were the best against heat and the cold.”

An AT-AT? That was indeed a fascinating piece of technology. “I’ve never seen one myself. Only the newer models with the fixed hydraulics.”

She pulled one of her legs up and leaned against the backrest of the armchair. “Yeah, the hydraulics were a mess. No wonder they didn’t work properly on sand or ice.”

“That’s why we used the AT-M6 on Crait-” he broke off, pressing his lips together. “I didn’t mean to bring that up.”

“Not talking about it doesn’t change the past,” she said and took a sip of her tea. “Stars know that I’ve tried - but it just doesn’t work.”

He frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Since I realised that I was Force-sensitive I kind of thought I should act… more dignified. Like the noble Jedi from the stories I’ve heard. So I tried to play the part, especially when I met Master Skywalker.”

She laughed. “I mean, can you imagine what that meant for me - _the_ Luke Skywalker! A simple scavenger like me was meeting Luke Skywalker! I was determined not to tell him that I had been nothing more than a grave robber, but the harder I tried the more I felt like a fraud. So I made a decision: Who I was in the past does not determine who I am going to be in the future.”

“I see your point,” Hux admitted. “But I’m afraid that my deeds are more grievous than scavenging old tech.”

“Of course they are. But you’re still here, with us. You saved our necks more than once when you spied for us. So at one point you made a decision to do the right thing.”

He exhaled. “You wanted to talk about Ren?”

“Indeed. You worked alongside him for years, and I’m trying to figure out what his next moves could be - even with the tracker working we still need a strategy.”

Hux leaned back and took a gulp of his tea, it was bitter - perfect. “What do you want to know?”


	12. The Forest

A couple of days later Rose and Hux watched Poe climb into his fighter. BB-8 excitedly drove in circles around them, beeping loudly.

Rose noticed that Hux watched the droid with a twitch on his lips. She decided that it was probably a smile - he had once updated BB-8’s servomotor and since then the astro-droid sometimes checked up on them in the lab, usually announcing its presence with a few honks and beeps.

“Come on, buddy - we need to go,” said Poe and put his white pilot helmet on.

BB-8 beeped one final time before it hoisted itself up into its place in the fighter.

Poe gave them a sloppy salute. “ _Iron Butterfly_ is good to go - see you!” With those words he ignited the engines and moments later his fighter had disappeared into the cloudy sky.

Rose checked her messages on the pad. “Looks like we can take the rest of the afternoon off. There are no new problems and after the last two weeks I would say that we need a break.”

“What are we supposed to do if we’re not working?” asked Hux with a crooked eyebrow.

“I don’t know… I’m not good with free time. Makes me nervous.”

“Well, I wanted to take a walk in the forest,” he said in a low voice. “Perhaps you want to accompany me? I was hoping to find the loth-cats’ lair.”

“That’s a great idea! I would love to help you find the loth-cats!” Rose beamed at him, a nice stroll in the forest, it had been ages since she had done that.

He smiled a little. “I’ll go get some meat from Sergeant Suta.”

“And I’ll go get my thermos can - we can take hot tea with us. It’s quite chilly outside.”

“A-alright, let’s meet up outside in ten minutes.”

Hux was already waiting for her when she stepped outside. He wore a thick dark blue scarf and his usual leather jacket.

“You sure that you won’t get cold?” she asked, zipping up her padded jacket.

He shrugged. “I’m used to low temperatures.”

They walked past their usual place by the tree trunks and entered the forest.

“I read that loth-cats like to dig their den near water so we can follow this runlet here.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

He pulled his pad out of his dark-grey shoulder bag and checked their position.

“Come on, we don’t need a map - it’s not like we’re going on a real hike.”

He blushed a little. “I like to be prepared.”

She chuckled, “I know, just- relax, okay?”

He led the way as they slowly walked over the roots on the mossy ground. From time to time he glanced over his shoulder to check up on her. She couldn’t help but notice the colour of his eyes, or the contrast of his trimmed ginger beard against his blue scarf.

She had noticed before of course, she caught herself a couple of times wondering if his hair was as warm as it looked. The trees around them had yellow, red and brown leaves but none of them was as radiant as his hair.

Damn it, when did this happen? When did Hux become attractive? When did he start bringing her tea? When did he start to smile at her with his almost-smiles? Or had it been in once of the late evening when he had come up with another brilliant design?

She licked her lips. Calm down Rose. No need to question your sanity. He was an attractive man, so what? An attractive, smart man… damn it. She needed something to distract her from her thoughts.

“How about a cup of tea?” she asked. “This looks like a nice spot.” She pointed at a fallen tree, its trunk was covered by bright red mushrooms and moss.

“Sure,” he replied and started to rummage in his bag. Her eyes went wide when he pulled a piece of insulated fabric out of it.

He put it on the trunk. “It’s from one of the older fighters they decommissioned. I thought it would be sensible since it’s quite damp in the forest.”

Rose stared at the dark brown blanket and to Hux. What the- if she didn’t know better she would think this was a date. But it couldn't be, could it? No, no that was ludicrous. Hux could barely do small-talk, there was no way that he was- she wouldn’t even think that.

And yet she could feel a traitorous excitement taking hold of her. It was nice. It was nice that he had thought of that. But of course he had - he liked to be prepared.

They sat down on the blanket and Rose took her thermos out of her own bag, pouring two mugs. Her cold fingers started to prickle when she held the warm mug, when she handed it to Hux his fingers brushed over hers and he flinched. The mug fell on the ground, spilling it’s content.

“I’m sorry,” said Hux and quickly grabbed it. He wiped it on the blanket. “I just-” he didn’t finish his sentence, instead he held the mug so that she could refill it. His hand was trembling a little.

“Are you cold?” she asked and cupped his hand with hers.

Instead of answering he stared at her with his blue-green eyes, mouth slightly agape. She could feel her heart beating in her throat. She reached out and brushed over the back of his hand with her thumb and a shaky breath escaped him.

She took his hand and put it on her cheek. Then she reached up and cupped his cheek in return, feeling the beard on her palm. Then she leaned forward and kissed him.

His lips were soft, warm and tasted of bitter tea. Her hand wandered up to his hair and she brushed over it - it was as silky and soft as she had imagined.

He pulled her closer and the kiss deepened, he embraced her and held her as if he was afraid that she would slip away.

When they broke the kiss she was a little out of breath. He was still holding her, only letting go slowly. She ran her hand one last time through his hair. “Stars, you’re handsome,” she said.

He lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed it. “You are the most brilliant, creative and beautiful woman I have ever met.”

A few snowflakes started to fall from the white cloudy sky. He was still holding her hand and kissed it again.

“Want some tea now?” she asked with a smile.

“Yes please.” He took his mug once again, his hand wasn’t trembling anymore.

They sat in silence for a few moments, drinking tea.

“Did- did you mean it when you said that you think that I’m handsome?” he asked in a quiet voice.

“Of course,” she said softly. “Did you mean it too?”

He smiled, it was a sad smile. “Yes.”

She could feel heat crawl up her cheeks and brushed a strand of hair under her cap. It was nothing she was sure, just things people say when they are enamoured. Nobody could actually look at the same round face she saw every morning in the mirror and think that she was beautiful. She wasn’t Paige after all.

She drank the last bit of tea and put the mug back in her bag. When she looked up she saw a loth-cat sitting in front of them. It had a few dark spots on its back but otherwise it was completely orange, its belly was almost yellow.

“Look,” she whispered.

Hux jerked his head around. “It has an unusual colour.” He slowly reached inside his bag and pulled a small parcel out. He opened it and took out small pieces of meat - probably leftovers from yesterday’s roast.

He slid from the trunk, knelt down and put a small piece on the ground. The loth-cat’s tiny nose sniffed and it perked up its large ears. It crept closer and sniffed at the meat, finally it ate it and licked its muzzle.

Hux held out a second piece in his hand. The animal closed in and ate directly from Hux’s hand. He turned around and beamed at Rose with an openness and joy she had never seen in his face.

He turned back to the loth-cat and quickly gave it another piece of meat. It was devoured immediately, the animal was all but drooling now. When he took the next piece out, it even stood on his hind legs and held his hand in place with its tiny paws.

He put the last piece on the ground and when the loth-cat bent down to eat it, he reached out and started to scratch it behind its ear. It started to purr while sniffing the ground, obviously looking for more meat.

The fur felt soft and warm, just as he had imagined. Hux couldn’t help but smile at the tiny feline in front of him. Too bad that he didn’t have any meat left.

It sniffed his finger and licked them with its coarse tongue.

“The lair must be nearby,” said Sar- Rose from behind.

“I think so too, we could check the surroundings,” he replied and got back up on his feet with a certain reluctance. The loth-cat craned its neck, staring at him with its black eyes.

Hux went back to the trunk and took the blanket Rose handed him. He folded it carefully and put it back in his bag.

Suddenly he felt a pair of hands around his neck, pulling him down for a peck on his mouth. He blinked in surprise before he smiled and gave her a peck in return.

His heart pumped faster and he felt a silly grin spread on his face. Seeing her so close, smelling her scent… it was almost like a dream.

The fact that they were standing in a forest full of autumn colour, the loth-cat, the snowfall added to the impression. He felt a lump in his throat. It wouldn’t last, would it? Not for him.

“How come that you look so sad when you’re smiling?” asked Rose as she let go of him.

“Because I’m happy and I know that it will end one way or another.”

Her smile faded a little. “Let’s just enjoy the moment and worry later.”

She was right of course - no sense in dreading the inevitable. He turned to leave, only to discover that the loth-cat was now sitting on the tree trunk, looking at him.

He felt the urge to talk to it, tell it that he didn’t have any more meat. But talking to an animal was senseless so he only petted its head and showed it his empty hands.

The loth-cat looked from the hands back up to him. “Mrrrrau,” it croaked.

“I didn’t know they made sounds!” said Rose, she reached out and petted it.

“There was nothing noted about this in the data I read,” said Hux with a confused glance at the loth-cat.

“Well, let’s go look for that lair.”

They marched off and followed the runlet for about an hour before they decided to take another break.

Hux put the blanket on the mossy forest floor and Rose poured them another cup of tea. It was still snowing lightly, the orange and red leaves were partly covered by a thin layer of snow.

He felt a little cold, he had actually underestimated the damp chilly weather. His hand brushed hers when she handed him his mug.

“Stars, you’re freezing, Armitage.”

Hearing his name from her lips made a shiver run down his spine. It had been years that anybody had used it. “It seems you were right about my jacket.”

“I’m always right.” Then she took his free hand and cupped hit with her warm hands. “And you should wear gloves.”

From the corner of his eye he saw an orange shape lurking behind a tree in the distance. The round face of the loth-cat appeared and stared at him.

“It’s following us,” he said with a chuckle.

Rose followed his gaze. “Looks like you made a new friend.”

“I think so too,” he said while staring at her.

She noticed it and laughed. “Come here.”

They kissed again, this time slower and with more softness. Hux could feel heat pool in his stomach, his heart was beating faster as her tongue brushed against his. Like before she reached up and stroked his hair.

She broke the kiss and pressed her forehead against him. “I really like you.”

He embraced her and pressed a kiss on her cap. “I like you too.”

They returned to the base, the loth-cat was still following them. Its bright orange fur made it easy to spot it in the snow.

His heart started to feel heavier with each step he took. From time to time he glanced at her, suppressing the urge to talk to her. How was he supposed to act around her? Had it been a one time thing?

Judging from the pensive look on her face she was probably thinking the same.

But even if they talked, what was there to talk about? They both knew that they weren’t supposed to do what they had just done. Or at least she wasn’t supposed to do it.

He was an amoral turncoat, nobody expected him to hold back. But Sergeant Rose Tico of the Resistance was supposed to be better than stooping to the level of the likes of him.

She should know better. The base came into sight as they stepped out of the forest.

He pressed his lips together. If he were a better man he would stop this - whatever this was - before it really started. But he was weak, too enchanted by her to want it to end. Just once more, just once he wanted her to look at him like she did.

They stopped at the door to the base. Small clouds of breath were escaping from her mouth. “Listen, I-”

The small side door next to the blast door slid open. “Rose, there you are!” rang Sergeant Major Tico’s voice.

Rose turned on her heel. “Mom?”

“I made rolls for you, we got a shipment of fresh food and so I though-”

“Thanks, but now is not a good time.”

Sergeant Major Tico crossed her arms. “But I made them for you! Do you want them to go to waste?”

Hux sensed that the moment for a talk was over. “I- I’m a bit cold. I will head inside.” He looked one final time towards the forest and saw a tiny orange spot move between the trees.

Rose nodded. “Okay.”

Hux stepped inside and rubbed his hands together. He really was cold. He would head to the Cantina and get a cup of tea.

As he walked towards the Cantina his thoughts returned to Rose. They really should have talked in the forest but she had been right. It was better to enjoy the moment - there was nothing to really talk about, was there?

She seemed to be attracted to him because they had worked together quite closely. And he was attracted to her because she was the smartest, most skilled and most beautiful woman he had ever worked with. These were the facts.

He got in line at the Cantina and heard the people in front of him asked for a beverage he had never heard of - hot choc. When it was his turn Sergeant Suta crooked an eyebrow. “Tea or caf?”

“What is ‘hot choc’?”

The cook shrugged. “It’s hot chocolate from Yavin.”

Hux frowned. Melted chocolate? How peculiar. “I’ll have caf please.”

“Coming right up.” He handed him a mug and Hux scanned the room for an empty table. There was none but he spotted Lieutenant Aish and Captain Ebrima sitting at a table in the back. He hesitated for a moment before he ventured across the room.

“Erhm, is this seat taken?” he asked in what he hoped was a casual voice.

Their eyes went wide for a moment, then Lieutenant Aish nodded. “It’s not.”

“Thank you, Lieutenant.”

Ebrima looked around. “Where is Rose?”

“She is with her mother. I uh, I’m here on my own.”

“Oh. Well, I hear we have you to thank for the repaired heater,” said Aish. “How’s work?”

Small talk, that was easy enough - all he had to do was to complain. “The workload is exceeding our work hours but we manage.”

“Tell me about it,” said Ebrima. “But one has to see the positive - we got a delivery of chocolate powder.” She lifted her mug to a mock salute and took a gulp. “Ah, that hit the spot!”

Hux narrowed his eyes, the liquid didn’t look like melted chocolate. So that meant the beverage was made from powder? Well, it made sense.

“What’s with that look, Hux?”

“Oh, I was just examining the texture of your hot beverage. I don’t think I have encountered it before.”

“You- have never had a hot choc?”

“I-”

A pilot helmet was smashed on the table and a burly tan-skinned human male sat down on the free chair. “Uh, what weather! I thought the snow would come later. But at least the heater works again.”

“Hey Mircah! Well, then you can thank this guy here,” said Ebrima. “He and Rose fixed it.”

The pilot pulled his gloves from his fingers and threw them on the table. “Thanks man! Just in time before it got chilly.”

“Sergeant Tico was the leading officer,” Hux said. “I just did what she told me to do.”

Mircah grinned. “Details. I’m going to get a hot choc - anybody else?”

They all declined and he left to get his drink. Hux leaned back in his chair. He was really blending in, excellent.


	13. Doing the Right Thing

Rose ate one of the rolls and sighed at the frown on her mother’s face. “What now?”

“You only ate one!”

She put the lid back on the rolls. “Okay, I’m really not in the mood for this right now. I had a nice day and I don’t want to ruin it by arguing with you about the same kriffing thing over and over again.”

Her mother sighed and sat down in Hux’s chair. “I love you Ro-Ro. Of course I don’t want to spoil your day. I just worry about you - you work so much and you hardly take any breaks.”

“What are you talking about? Hux and I go on regular breaks.” Rose threw her hands in the air. “Come on, you’re just overbearing.”

Her mother blanched. “Overbearing? How is caring for my daughter overbearing?”

Rose exhaled. Why didn’t she just eat the damn rolls? “Forget it.” She got up and left. She knew that it wasn’t the smoothest exit but she really didn’t want to go into this discussion again.

The last time they were both hurt by the things said and done. She felt tears sting her eyes when she recalled their argument. It had been about the way her mother thought she should behave, how she should act... Her mother never mentioned Paige, but she didn't have to. Rose knew she wasn't living up to the standard her sister had set.

Kriff! She was a grown woman, why was she still stuck with arguing with her mother like a teenager? And why was it making her so damn angry and sad at the same time?

Perhaps she should go to the Cantina and look if some of her friends were there? They would take her mind of this stupid old argument.

She wiped over her eyes and headed towards the Cantina. It was quite crowded like always when a fresh shipment of goods had arrived. The smell of chocolate was overwhelming - she remembered that chocolate powder had been on the provisions list. Better hurry up and get a hot choc before the powder ran out.

As she stood in line she scanned the room to see if her friends were here. Her sight stopped at a table with Aish, Ebrima and … Hux? She hadn’t been aware that he was this social. Well, good for him. It seemed that Poe’s idea was working- she remembered his soft lips on hers and she blushed - it really had worked. Stars, just thinking about it made her excited.

Her sight fell on Mircah marching towards Hux. Kriff! She’d known that they would encounter each other eventually but not today, please not today! To her amazement she observed that Mircah sat down at the same table as Hux, without as much as giving him a glare. Perhaps he hadn’t noticed yet.

She had to keep her calm and act casual and bring Hux away from there before Mircah knocked his teeth out. She grabbed her hot choc and forced herself to walk slowly over.

“Hey guys!”

“Rose - I thought you were with your mother,” said Aish.

She smiled nervously. “I was, but she almost drove me crazy so here I am.”

“Grab a free chair from another table,” said Mircah, “we’ll just scoot together so you’ll fit in.”

“Yeah, Hux - scoot over,” said Ebrima.

Rose pressed her lips together - kriff.

Mircah turned his attention to Hux. “Hux? As in General Hux?”

Hux seemed to register the undertone and became very still. “Yes.”

“Didn’t recognize you out of uniform and with that beard,” Mircah said in a low, pressed voice.

Ebrima seemed to notice the change in Mircah’s mood. “Come on, you know he’s the spy-”

“Him being a spy doesn’t change the fact that Starkiller _kriffing_ obliterated planets!” Mircah grabbed his mug and got up. “I know that we need you, Hux. I’m not an idiot, so I won’t beat your ass - but that doesn’t mean that I have to sit at the same table as you.”

With that he left. Ebrima looked dejected. “I forgot about his sister. She and her family were on Hosnian Prime.”

Hux was sitting very still, Rose could almost hear his mind work.

Finally he got up and took the last gulp of his caf. “I didn’t mean to impose, if you’ll excuse me.” He left too.

Rose sighed and sat down. “This was bound to happen.”

Ebrima grimaced. “Sure, I mean it’s not like he was some low-level Stormtrooper… kriff. I mean what are we supposed to do? Hate Hux for his crimes or accept him as our spy to bring the Order down?”

Aish shrugged. “That’s not an ‘or’ question. We can work with him without forgetting about his crimes.”

Rose gulped. She hadn’t forgotten about what he had done but- he was different, right? He tried to do the right thing, didn’t he? Her heart became heavy. And still - he had given the order to fire the Starkiller weapon.

Of course she knew who he was and what he had done. And still she felt attracted to him, liked working with him.

“Hey, Rose, you alright?” asked Aish.

She crossed her arms. “Yeah, I just- I guess I feel bad because I don’t … hate him.” She couldn’t say it, not even to her friends. What would they think of her?

“Yeah well, it’s odd to see him here like that, isn’t it?” Ebrima said in a low voice. “I mean it’s easy to look at these larger-than-life holos of Ren and his goonies and wish they would just drop dead. But seeing him sitting here at this table with his too-large shirts, looking tired and pale… Knowing that he supplied us with intel… I don’t know.”

Aish frowned. “Commander Dameron seems to think he’s okay - why else would he make a show of it back when Hux came here?”

Rose knew that Poe had only done it to make sure that Hux kept helping them. Wait, he had said to Hux that he felt that he hadn’t lost his humanity, right? That he thought that Hux was the spy because he felt that there was still something beside cold indifference underneath his uniform.

“Because he thought that Hux still cared,” Rose said.

Aish blinked. “What?”

“He said that Ren was empty, like he didn’t even care about people. Hux still seems to care.”

Aish leaned back. “Well, it’s true that Hux turned on the Order when they were about to finish us off. He couldn’t possibly gain something from it besides helping us, right? Perhaps Commander Dameron is right.”

Rose gulped. Stars, she wanted it to be true. She _needed_ it to be true. She hadn’t fallen for a monster, she had fallen for a man trying to do the right thing. A man who had done unspeakable things... She gulped again.

“Sorry, I’m tired,” she mumbled and got up.

Aish nodded. “Okay, take care, Rose.”

She sniffled on her way outside. She needed to think about everything. She hesitated shortly before she headed into the lab. First she needed to distract herself then she could calmly think about everything.

Just when she was about to reach the lab she encountered Leia on the hallway. The older woman looked tired and she seemed to lean more on her crane than usual.

“Oh, Gen- Leia,” said Rose dumbfounded.

“Rose, good evening to you.” She smiled warmly at her. “Are you alright?”

The simple question pierced through Rose’s heart. Of course, Leia would have an answer. “I- I’m wondering about something.”

“What is it?”

“How do you know if something is right?”

Leia came closer and took Rose’s hand. “I wish I had the answer to this. If I had I wouldn’t have made so many mistakes.”

Rose smiled sadly. “I hoped for a more conclusive answer.”

“All I can tell you is that my biggest regret is not doing what I thought was right.” Her hands seemed to become warmer. “I didn’t listen to my heart and I regret it to this very day.”

Rose’s heartbeat became calmer. “So you basically say I should listen to my gut?”

Leia patted her hand before letting it go. “Luke would have told you a nice parable, probably something with kind sages and evil Sith, but I’m not a good storyteller so: yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying.”

“Thank you.”

Leia chuckled. “Good night, Rose.”

Rose watched her leave; Leia was right of course. This wasn’t something she could solve by thinking about it. She needed to trust herself to do the right thing.

Hux stumbled through the snow, he could feel the rumbling of Starkiller base beneath his feet. He had to go, but he had to find Ren. Suddenly he heard Rose crying out and he froze.

“Rose? Rose, where are you?”

The snowfall became stronger until he couldn’t see anything, not even the tall trees.

Finally he found her, she was lying on the ground, holding something small in her hands. It was the ginger loth-cat.

“What happened?” he asked and knelt down.

“You killed it,” she said with tears in her eyes.

“No, no I didn’t!” Why would he kill such a tiny creature? It made no sense.

Suddenly the snow melted away and the trees weren’t trees but piles of contorted burned bodies.

“You killed them all,” said Rose.

Hux jerked up from the dream. He was panting and wiped over his sweat-covered face with trembling hands. He really should ask Dr. Kalonia for sleeping pills or stims. He checked the chronometer: 3:04.

He got up and changed into dry pyjamas and folded the sweat-drenched ones into a neat pile. Then he crawled back into the bed. After a few minutes he fell asleep.

When Rose appeared in the lab he handed her the mug of caf like always. She looked at him and her touch lingered on his fingers, stroking them softly. He smiled at her, his heart beat a little faster and warmth spreading out in his chest.

They checked the data from Commander Dameron’s flight, it turned out that the tracker was currently operating at 84% accuracy.

Rose frowned. “We need to work on the programming, we need to reach at least 97% before we can really use it.”

“I agree, but I’m not sure that the programming is the problem. Perhaps it’s the signal of the tracker.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Because the programming should be working even when the jumps increase - but according to the data, there are missing coordinates whenever Dameron jumped more than two times within 10 seconds.”

“I see, so let’s increase the signals range first.”

Hux noted with satisfaction that they were still working together as professionally as before. He had to admit that he was getting distracted from time to time when he looked at her. His thoughts wandered back to the forest and the way she had looked at him with her beautiful dark-brown eyes.

During their break outside they kept talking about the project but sat slightly closer together, allowing them both to casually brush each other's arms. Most of the snow had melted again but there was still a layer covering the ground.

Suddenly Rose sat up straighter and narrowed her eyes.

He hastily scooted farther away from her and tried to see what she was looking at. There was something orange moving between the trees.

He got up and closed in on the loth-cat that was peeking out from behind of a bush. When he was closer it exited the underwood and lifted its bushy tail, sniffling.

It looked at Hux with its black eyes. “Mrrrrau.”

Hux went down on his knees and the loth-cat scurried towards him, smelling his hands and pushing its round face against his fingers. Only now Hux realised that it looked rather skinny for an animal that was supposed to have winter fat.

Then it fell like krayt scales from his eyes. A loth-cat with such bright fur couldn’t hunt as well as the ones with darker fur - especially when there was snow.

He got up and went back to Rose. “I’m going to get some meat - I think it’s starving.”

“Stars! You’re right - that’s why it followed us here all the way.”

It took some convincing but finally Hux managed to get half a sausage from Sergeant Suta. He hurried back outside, Rose was still sitting on the trunk, closely watched by the loth-cat who had crept even closer. Hux put the sausage on the ground and stepped back, the tiny animal lunged at the food and began to chew on it, purring loudly.

“I hate to say it but we need to get back to work, I’m sure the little one will be fine.”

Hux kept staring at it. “Yes, of course.”

They headed back inside, Hux thought he could hear a quiet “Mrrrrau” behind him.

For dinner there was soup and dark bread on the menu much to Hux’s chagrin. He had hoped for meat so that he could put some aside for the loth-cat.

“You think the little guy will be alright?” Rose asked.

“Well, it’s a wild animal so I think it will be.” He shifted in his seat. “But perhaps it’s sensible to check if it’s still outside.”

“Yeah, I mean - it can’t hurt, right?”

There was something in her voice that made him look up from his soup. There was a warm gleam in her dark-brown eyes - like an antimatter… no like a star in the night sky. He gulped. “Do you want to join me?”

She smiled and the way it reached her eyes, made them twinkle, made his breath falter.

They finished their soup a tad more quickly than they would have and Hux went again to the cook to get some extra meat.

“Don’t you like soup?” asked Sergeant Suta with a frown.

“I do, but er - Sergeant Tico and I found a starving loth-cat and-”

“Why didn’t you say so? I’ll put some old left-overs in a box,” replied the man as if he was asked every other day about sparing food for forest animals.

Hux felt a little silly when he put the small box in his bag, but people didn’t seem to notice.

_Silly, soft boy! Don’t you have a backbone?_

He steadied himself, he wasn’t weak. He was just doing it because Rose wanted to.

She waited for him at the exit of the Cantina and together they went out. It was already dark, for security reasons there were only very dim lights around the base, barely enough to see the ground.

Hux crouched down where he had last seen the loth-cat and lifted the lid off the box. He could hear tiny, crunching steps on the snow and a loud “Mrrrrau”. The animal’s head was in the box before Hux could even put it on the floor. Smacking sounds and purring could be heard.

He petted it gently. It was really hungry.

“We should name it,” said Rose from behind.

“Judging from its size I think it’s a female.”

“Then how about Ginger?”

Hux thought about it. “How about Millicent?”

Rose chuckled. “Sounds like an old lady but I like the sound of it.”

He got up and sat down next to Rose on the snow-covered tree trunk. It was cold. He really should ask the quartermaster for a parka.

Rose scooted closer. “Come here, just looking at you makes me cold.”

She really was warm, and when she touched his arm it felt like it was on fire. She reached up to his face and cupped his cheek. Her hand wandered up to the nape of his neck and then she pulled him down, giving him a soft kiss.

Her lips lingered for a while on his before he slowly pulled back, craning his neck to get a view of the base’s entrance. Then he pulled her closer, kissing her cheek, the corner of her mouth and finally giving her a proper passionate kiss.

She pressed herself against him as their kiss deepened. He was getting hot despite the cold weather - suddenly an unidentifiable noise rang out and they both jumped up. His heart was pounding and he tried to compose himself before his sights fell on the box that had been knocked over by Millicent.

“Damn it,” said Rose.

Hux went and got the now empty box and scratched the loth-cat behind her ears. “We should go back inside.”

“Alright,” she was a little out of breath.

They walked back in in silence and stopped in the hallway where Hux had to turn left to get to his quarters. “I-” he cleared his throat. “Good night, Sergeant Tico.”

“Good night, Hux.”


	14. Getting Close

Rose hurried down the hallway to her quarters, swearing under her breath. What had gotten into her? Making out like that right outside the base? Stars! But seeing him kneeling in the snow with Millicent made her want to touch him, to warm his cold hands. And his hands had been so soft and tender, she couldn’t help but wonder how they would feel on her skin.

Just thinking about it made her blush. And the kiss… the kiss had been so good that she had almost forgotten herself.

Kriff! When did she get so horny?

She punched in the code to her quarters and stormed in, kicking her boots off and started to pace back and forth. Wait, why was she even angry? Her steps slowed. Hadn’t she made her decision back in the forest when she kissed him the first time? And later when she kissed him again - it wasn’t some silly ‘accident’ either. She’d known what she did when she accompanied him outside.

She _wanted_ him. Simple as that - it was time that she stopped acting like a teenager and do what a grown woman would do when she feels attracted to someone. She should make a final decision - either do what she wanted to or stop it right here and now.

She chewed on her lip for a short moment before she picked her boots up and put them back on her feet.

The way to Hux’s quarters was rather short, she rapped against the metal door. After a few moments the door slid open, Hux was still wearing his clothes from before but his shirt was half open. His eyes went wide when he saw her, then he stepped back and let her in.

As soon as the door had closed she tip-toed and gave him a kiss on his mouth. When he leaned down a bit she put her hands on his sides.

As they continued to kiss her hands wandered on his back and she pulled him closer. His kisses became more passionate. Then she grabbed his firm ass and pressed him against her, his crotch felt hot against her stomach.

She felt how he trailed her hips with his fingertips, wherever he touched her, her skin seemed to tingle. She could feel herself getting moist. When his left hand wandered further up and brushed her breast she moaned silently, a shudder of lust ran through her body. They broke the kiss and he watched her with parted lips as he slowly, so damn slowly cupped her breast and brushed over her nipple with his thumb. Even through the clothes it felt amazing. She bit her lip and stared at him, panting slightly. She reached up and pulled at his already unbuttoned shirt. He slid out of it and reached for the zipper of her overalls.

She nodded and he pulled it down, she wriggled out of the upper part while he cupped her chest again, rubbing his thumb again over her nipple. Stars, this feeling - she was already wet. Impatiently she grabbed her t-shirt and pulled it over her head, he did the same before he hastily pushed her bra aside and freed her nipple. He started to kiss her tit everywhere but the nipple - damn it, what a tease! She gritted her teeth and cupped the considerable bulge in his pants. He almost buckled and moaned, then he retaliated and started to kiss and suck her nipple.

She let go of him and focussed on the incredible sensation of the cool air against her skin and his hot mouth on her tit. His right hand moved from her hip between her legs and he started to rub two fingers against her clit. The unexpected spike of ecstasy made her grab him by his shoulders as he continued to caress her tit as well as her pussy.

Stars, it was too much - she wanted more. She grabbed her overall and pulled it all the way down, Hux let go of her, looking somewhat surprised but when he realised that she was stripping, he pushed her onto the bed so that he could help her get rid of her boots. In a matter of moments she lay on the bed with nothing but her panties.

He kneeled down in front of her and let his hands wander from her calves, over her knees to her hips, up to her breast and back down again. He hooked his fingers in her panties and pulled them down.

She propped up and spread her legs so that he could see her in all her glory. He grabbed her legs and pulled her closer to him so that she could put her legs over his shoulders.

Then he started to circle with his finger around her pussy, drawing closer until his delicate fingertips touched her moist folds. He trailed her lips and the sensation alone made her moan silently, knowing what would come next. She still gasped when he finally touched her clit, giving it a massage.

“Stars!” she almost yelled. “Just like that!”

He leaned down and started to suck her clit. A wave of pleasure rolled through her and Rose arched her back and let herself fall on her back.

“Kriff Hux!” she moaned. “Don’t stop!”

Through the haze of her own arousal she realised that he had already entered her with two of his fingers, pumping in and out as he continued to suck her clit. She could feel pressure building up inside her, it felt so good, so kriffing good.

She felt that she was going to cum soon, she grabbed his head and pressed it against her pussy. Moments later she came with a loud “Kriff”.

She came down and panted. “Stars! That was good.”

Hux raised his head and smiled at her, wiping over his mouth with the back of his hand. He was panting too. She laughed, damn it - she had really needed that!

After a few moments she sat up, noticing right away the still impressive bulge in his pants. “Come on, it’s your turn now.”

He hesitated shortly before dimming the light slightly. He started to open his belt and took off his pants. Then he grabbed his t-shirt and pulled it over his head, he had lean muscles and long elegant limbs. A trail of ginger hair travelled from his belly-button down into his boxers. She smiled at him. “Come here.”

“I just- dimmed light is more comfortable, don’t you think?” he said in a low voice and he joined her on the narrow bed.

“If that’s what you want.” She kissed his hairless chest, then his neck while exploring his flat stomach with her right hand, before she put her hand on his ass and squeezed it a little.

Her left hand slipped under his boxers and grabbed his dick. His breath faltered for a moment and his eyes slid shut.

She stroked his dick once before she felt up his balls, brushing over them to see if he liked it. When her hand returned to his dick he sighed. She used both hands to pull his boxers down, revealing a proud cock nested in ginger pubic hair.

“I love your hair,” she said and stroked him again. Seeing the cock made her realise that she was getting excited again. His fingers had felt amazing, this must be even better. She took it in her mouth and swirled her tongue over his tip, a loud groan was the answer. She could taste salty pre-cum on her tongue as she continued to suck his cock.

At the same time she started to rub her clit. After a few moments she could take it any longer and let go of his dick, it smacked with a wet sound on his stomach.

“Rose-”

She leaned back and presented her wet pussy. “Come on, Hux.”

A wild gleam appeared in his eyes as he scrambled on all four and positioned himself over her. Then he let the head of his cock glide over her wet lips, brushing her clit before he adjusted his position and plunged in, making her moan at the pleasurable stretch.

She wrapped her leg around his hips, as he started to thrust. His pace increased as he fucked her until he came with a loud moan, he collapsed on her and peppering her face and her neck with hot kisses.

“Do you want me to suck it again?” he asked as he pulled out.

She could feel his hot cum inside. Seeing him coming undone was hotter than she had thought - his calm facade had dissolved with each thrust. “No, I’m schlicking off. I just want to watch you.”

She reached down and started to rub her clit. Stars, he looked stunning with his hair all messed up, with sweat glistening on his naked skin. She bit her lip and rubbed her clit hard and fast until she came moments later.

She scooted closer to him and they kissed another again before they both rolled on their backs.

“That was hot,” she said, still catching her breath.

“Stars, it was!” Hux laughed. “I didn’t think that you would actually come back.”

“Well, I have very poor impulse control. I just can’t resist such a good-looking man. And stars, you really have a silver tongue.”

“I had extensive oral lessons at the academy, believe it or not. And I’m a fast learner.”

She chuckled. “So it seems.” She cleared her throat. “I had my last protection shot just two months ago by the way, so I’m still good.”

He was silent for a moment. “I had a vasectomy a couple of years ago, so…”

“Okay.” The way he had phrased it made it seem that there was a story behind it. “Want to talk about it?”

He sat up. “There is not much to talk about. I simply do not want children, it’s the easiest way to prevent that.”

She got up too and started to collect her clothes from the floor. Only now she noticed that the wall from across the bed wasn’t empty anymore. There were about five pictures of various technical items - one of them was the prototype weapons they had been working on.

“What are those?” she asked. Perhaps he put them up there to help him work on the projects, but it was a bit odd - the pictures weren’t particularly good and details weren’t visible.

“You told me that people take pictures and put them on their walls,” he said, “pictures to commemorate important moments. So I started to collect some too.”

Realisation crashed down on her, Hux hadn’t understood that pictures she was talking about were supposed to show friends and loved ones. “Didn’t you want to make pictures of people?” she asked in a throaty voice and glanced over her shoulder.

He blinked a few times and then he frowned. “No- I... what people?”

Rose gulped. “You know what - you’re right. There is no rule that says what one is supposed to make holos off.” He gulped the small lump down that had been building up in her throat. “Tech is more interesting anyway. Right?”

He looked from her to the pictures and back again. “I guess so.” He sounded dejected.

Silence fell over them and she grabbed the last pieces of her clothes. She needed to take a shower and so did he.

He watched her dress herself. “Are you leaving already?” he asked in a low voice. He pulled his bedsheets up to cover himself.

She gave him a peck on the lips. “Just taking a shower.”

He seemed to relax a bit. “See you tomorrow?”

Rose made an effort to smile at him and pulled the zipper up. “Of course.”

Hux changed the damp bed sheets after she left. Then he put his clothes on and hurried to the common shower near his quarters, hoping that nobody would see him despite the relatively early hour. He usually waited until midnight.

The shower wasn’t completely deserted of course but it couldn’t be helped. He undressed himself and stepped under the shower, the other men and women continued to talk to each other about the upcoming huttball match and didn’t pay him any attention.

It was unexpected, that nobody was staring at his slender frame. They didn’t seem to mind his presence. He relaxed a little, realising that his shoulders had been tense. He made an effort to unclench and exhaled.

He dressed without being too hasty. Then he returned to his quarters, feeling quite tired. It wasn’t an exhausted, worn out tiredness it was more like a calm fatigue. His limbs felt heavy but he was content, no doubt because of Rose and her loving touches.

This was how affection must feel like. A calm sense of feeling safe, as if- as if he wasn’t disgusting. She had looked at him with so much tenderness in her eye that it gave him a stab in the chest just thinking about it.

Back in his room he climbed in his bed and turned the lights off. Moments later he had fallen in a calm, dreamless sleep.

“Ninety-six percent accuracy - just one percent to go.”

Hux smiled at Rose. “At this rate, we’ll be able to deploy the tracker in less than two days.”

She put her hand on his arm and squeezed it lightly. “We’re really a good team.”

He had to resist the urge to give her a light kiss like he had done so in private moments in the past few days. “We are.”

“I think we should give General Organa a heads-up that we’re close.” She grabbed her pad. “How about a break after that?”

“Alright, it’s almost Millie’s feeding time. I’ll go get something from Sargeant Suta, he assured me that he still had enough leftovers. Caf or tea?”

Rose was already halfway out of the door. “Caf,” she loudly said.

Hux turned the holo off and made his way to the Cantina. He got in line and greeted Ebrima who was standing in line before him. “Captain Ebrima, will you attend the sports event tonight?”

“Hi Hux,” she nodded back at him, “do you mean the huttball game?”

“Yes.”

“Yeah, I guess I’ll watch it - nothing else to do so long we’re grounded.”

“Ah.” Hux thought about what to ask next but nothing came to mind.

“What about you?”

“I haven’t decided yet.” Come to think about it, he was actually curious about the game itself - after all he had read up on the tactics and rules.

“What is there to think about?” asked Ebrima with a frown. “It’s like the only entertainment we got - apart from the occasional round of sabacc.”

“There is quite a bit of work I need to take care of.” Hux shuffled forward, soon it would be his turn.

“Stars you sound like Rose!”

“She has an admirable work ethic,” Hux replied a little too quickly.

Ebrima chuckled. “You just proved my point. But I shouldn’t complain - you guys have fixed the sanitations droids, the energy grid, the heater - again - and of course made sure that we don’t have to throw rocks at Ren’s goonies.” She took her caf and stepped aside.

Hux could feel the tips of his ears getting warm. “I’m only supporting Ro- Sergeant Tico.” Before he had time to think about the slip of the tongue he stepped forward and said loudly. “A black tea, a caf and the leftovers please.”

Suta flashed a grin and handed him a box, which Hux put in his bag. “The little thing sure has an appetite.” He prepared the beverages and handed them to Hux.

“Thank you.”

“What little thing?” asked Ebrima with a crooked eyebrow.

“A loth-cat, Hux is feeding it,” replied Suta.

“Really? Well, good for the loth-cat I guess. See you, Hux.”

“Good-bye Captain Ebrima.”

Millicent was already waiting at the exit, she had lost some of her reserve and didn’t wait in the forest anymore.

“Mrrrau!” she half-purred, brushing her head against his legs. Her tail trembled as she followed him to the tree trunks. He put the open box on the trunk and sat down next to it. Millicent jumped up in a fluid movement and started to devour the food.

“Hugs! So is this the famed loth-cat?”

Hux lifted his gaze and saw Commander Dameron standing in front of him, he was wearing a thick grey parka, he rubbed his bare hands together.

Millicent eyed him but continued to eat.

“We named her Millicent,” Hux said while straightening his back. Only now he saw Captain Mircah and Captain Finn standing behind Dameron.

Finn chuckled. “Millicent? What kind of name is this? Sounds like an old lady.”

“Etymologically it means ‘Strong Worker’ or ‘Soft Raid’, seeing that it survived until now I think it’s an appropriate name,” replied Hux and looked again at the small feline.

Mircah crossed his arms. “I don’t know why you bother with it, it’s just an animal. The forest is full of them - we can’t feed them all.”

“Wow, you’re grumpy,” said Dameron with a laugh. “Come on buddy, she’s cute.”

As if on cue Millicent finished eating and licked her lips, purring loudly. Hux scratched her behind the ears and she leaned into his touch.

Mircah scoffed. “All I see is an opportunist. She’s only after the food because she needs to survive - she is nothing but a rabid animal.” With these words he turned and left.

“I know,” said Hux to no one in particular.

“Nah, I think she likes you, Hugs,” said Dameron.

“Captain Mircah is right, it’s a wild animal,” retorted Hux. “And she’s here because of the food.” Which was logical after all. Despite all her purring and the way she headbutted his legs or his hand it was still a mindless animal.

Dameron put his hands into his pockets. “And why are you feeding her if it’s just some animal?”

The question caught Hux off guard. He frowned. “I’m not sure.”

“That’s that supposed to mean?” said Rose and she brushed past Finn and Dameron and leaned down to pet Millicent. “She’s your pet, you’re feeding her because you love this little rascal. Isn’t that right, Millie? You’re a rascal! Yes you are!”

“Mrrrrau!”

Hux didn’t know what to say to that and retracted his hand. He didn’t love the loth-cat - what a preposterous assumption! He just had- he didn’t know what had moved him to bring her food two times a day .

“Aww look at him, he doesn’t know what ‘love’ even is. Read up on it, Hugs,” chuckled Dameron and patted on Finn’s back before they both went back inside.

Rose looked after them and turned her gaze back to Hux when they had disappeared inside. “That was mean.”

He blinked. “What was?”

She searched his face for something. “That they said that you don’t know what love is. As if you were a droid and not a human being.”

He shrugged. “It doesn’t matter.”

“It matters to me,” she picked her hands. “I should have said something.”

Hux smiled at her. “There’s no way you could’ve addressed this without getting compromised.”

She gulped. “I’m sorry.”

“There is nothing to be sorry about.” He had known from the start that this was the best he could hope for, hidden affection in the dark of the night. He had made sure of that the moment he had ordered Starkiller to fire. His heart felt heavy. If he had any decency he would tell her to leave, but he was nothing but a selfish bastard.

“I feel like a coward,” she said in a low voice. “I should be able to just tell them that I like you. Paige could have done that, she always was the braver of the two of us.”

He took a look around and gave her a quick peck on the head. “True courage is to fight the battles worth fighting for.” At least that’s what he had told himself when he decided to swallow his pride and bent his knee to Ren. “There is no sense in fighting lost causes.”

She sighed and scratched Millied behind her ear. “Sometimes there is.”


	15. Operation Skyfall

“We have reached 97.2% accuracy,” said Rose and lifted her chin. “We should be able to track Kylo Ren’s shuttle.”

Leia smiled and leaned back in her armchair. “I knew you could do it. I want it deployed immediately - we need to know where he is and what he is planning next.”

“With all due respect, Gen- Leia, even if we know what he is planning we still need the means to stop the First Order, not only a single man. We can’t rely on our allies, not after Crait,” said Rose.

Leia’s smile faded. “I know. But I’m afraid that our options are limited. We can’t take on the whole Order, not with the resources we have. What we need now is a tactical advantage.”

She was right of course, Rose knew that they could hardly take on the Order’s entire fleet with their fighters and what few bombers they had left.

“Rose, we have to do this step by step, once we know more about Ren’s plans we can come up with strategies to defeat him… and the Order.”

Leia reached for her holo and activated it. “Rey, please see me in my office. We need to talk about your next mission.” She ended the call and turned to face Rose. “Thank you, Rose. Dismissed.”

Back in the lab she couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling. They needed something to fight the Order - Ren was only one man after all, even if he wielded the Force. Behind him was the murderous war machine of the First Order - fed by Canto Blight. Kriffing war profiteers!

What they needed was something to fight dreadnaughts, something to take out the destroyers. She groaned in frustration, but that was impossible of course - if that were possible someone would already have thought of that.

“What is it?” asked Hux, looking up from a propulsion-holo.

“It’s just, despite everything we’ve come up with we still can’t take on the Order. All we can do is gather intel and hope that Ren makes a mistake - it’s frustrating!” She threw her hands up in the air.

“Brute force isn’t everything, otherwise the Order had won a long time ago.”

“I know, believe me - it’s just-” she broke off. “Can’t it be easy for once?”

“Is that a rhetorical question?” Hux asked with a puzzled look on his face.

Rose couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah, I guess it was.” She sighed. “We need to set up everything so-” her sight fell on a plate with vegetable balls sitting on her table. “I take it that my mother paid you a visit?”

He chuckled. “Indeed she did, however did you guess?”

She went to the table and ate one ball. “Do you want one too?”

He hesitated for a moment. “They are specifically for you.”

Rose brought the plate over to Hux. “I’m sure that they’re for both of us judging by the amount.”

He took one and ate it. “I wouldn’t be so sure.”

“Yeah, well - I can’t possibly eat all that alone.” She ran her hand through his hair. It was so soft and warm, it reminded her of their first kiss in the forest. The gaze in his eyes changed, he took her hand and kissed it.

She sucked in her breath, feeling heat pooling in her stomach. “We have to set up the tracker,” she whispered.

He let go of her hand. “Yes, of course.”

Rose cleared her throat. “We’ll set it up in the command center.” She grabbed her pad, waited for Hux to get up and together they returned to the command center.

Rose was loading the programming into one of the consoles while Hux was setting up the external computer core next to it. She couldn’t help but glance into Leia’s office - Rey was still there, listening to the General with a focussed expression on her face.

After a while she nodded and exited the office. Rose called out, “Rey!”

Rey started to beam when she saw Rose waving at her. “Rose. How are you? Haven’t seen you in a while.”

“I’m fine - especially when we track this son of a- uh, Ren down. Where were you? I didn’t see you in the Cantina in the past few days.”

“I was training and meditating in the woods,” Rey patted the lightsaber hanging from her belt. “Leia has set up a parkour for me so that I can hone my skills.”

“Wow!” said Rose in awe. Rey really was something else! “I- you know, you can tell me if I can help you in any way, right? I could rig the training droids for you, if you want.”

“I really appreciate it but I can take care of them myself - I used to be quite a tinker back on Jakku. I’m certain you have enough on your plate anyway. With all the weapon updates pending I mean.”

Rose tried not to feel disappointed. “Ah yes, that’s true. Well, if you change your mind I’m always glad to help.”

“Thank you,” said Rey and hugged her. “See you later!” She waved her goodbye and left.

Rose rubbed her hands on her overalls. Despite all her gifts Rey sometimes seemed lonely, as if she was carrying the burden of the galaxy on her back. If only there was a way Rose could help her, make her burden easier to carry.

She returned to the console and checked the progress of the upload. The loading screen showed that it was at 67%.

She could help if she found a way to make sure that everyone got home alive, if only she could build something that would protect everybody - like a powerful shield. Or something to take out First Order vessels with one shot…

Her sight fell on Hux who was calibrating the computer core. He had come up with the idea to sabotage the navigational shields. Hux was a genius, the two of them surely could come up with something formidable.

Yes, they would come up with something that would help to win this war. Something even better than the tracker! Something more ingenious than the slicing of the navigational shields! She lifted her chin. She could do it, all she had to do was to keep at it.

All senior officers were assembled as soon as the tracker was ready. Leia looked at all of them with a smile.

“You know why I called you here - thanks to General Hux and Sergeant Tico we now have the means to track Kylo Ren’s shuttle. All that is left to do is to find it and run the program. If everything goes according to plan we should be able to keep tabs on him.” She paused. “I’m telling you what I told you before - patience and timing will win this war. I’m aware that some of you call for more decisive action but we mustn't rush. We need a plan of action first. And with the tracker we have taken the first step of many.”

Rose stood right next to Finn and felt herself blush when General Organa mentioned her name. The appreciative looks she got from the people around the table made her chest swell with pride.

Finn bent down and whispered, “You’re really brilliant.”

Poe patted her shoulder and grinned at her.

She grinned back, feeling herself blush even more. She turned her gaze to Hux who was standing behind her, he had a concerned look on his face but his expression changed when he saw her looking at him. He displayed a half-smile.

She turned her attention back on Leia.

“Rey and Chewie are already on their way to meet a contact who claims to know about Ren’s whereabouts. Once they have established his location we can start Operation Skyfall. Thank you - that is all for now.”

A soft murmur rang through the room after General Organa’s last words. Hux couldn’t help but notice the difference from a conference in the Order as opposed to here: In the Order there had always been silence and low whispers - unlike here where people talked and laughed.

How odd that it didn’t diminish General Organas authority. She still stood at the table, her hands folded, looking fondly at her subordinates and advisers. She turned her head towards him and their eyes locked.

“General Hux, might I have a word?” she asked.

He bowed his head slightly. “Of course.” He brushed past Rose who was talking to Captain Finn and Commander Dameron.

General Organa gestured towards her office and led the way. She sat slowly down, only a hard line around her lips indicated that she was uncomfortable. As soon as she sat she relaxed. “Tea?”

“Yes, please.”

Organa activated her holo, a silver protocol droid appeared. “Tea please, two mugs.” She ended the call and leaned back in her armchair. “I apologize for not asking, but I assume green tea is to your liking?”

“It is, thank you, General.”

“These days it’s my favourite beverage. When I was younger I prefered caf though - but Dr. Kalonia forbade it years ago.”

Hux was surprised that the General would employ small-talk, she seemed like a straightforward leader. Rose had told him that it was a means to establish communication. So perhaps he should reciproque? “The medics said the same about my stims - they said it could lead to cardiac arrest.”

She gaped at him. “Cardiac arrest? What kind of stims did you take?”

“Just the usual, a derivative of benzoylmethylecgonine so that I could keep my focus with little to no sleep. Sometimes derivatives of benzodiazepines to go to sleep.” There, that wasn’t a bad start, now he had to ask her a question to keep the small talk going. “What do you take?”

“I drink a strong cup of green tea, sometimes I eat something spicy.”

He blinked. A galactic legend indeed - she must possess incredible willpower to stay in command with such simple means. “I see.”

The droid with the tea arrived. She thanked it and waited until it was gone.

“There is something I would like to discuss with you. It’s- it’s not a secret but I’m not keen on discussing it openly because-” she blinked a few times. “Because some wounds never close.”

He put his tea on the table and straightened his back. This was obviously important.

She took a sip of tea, she was holding the cup in such a tight grip that her knuckles turned white. When she realised it, she loosened her grip. “Do you know who Kylo Ren really is?”

He leaned forward. “No, I don’t.”

She sighed and blinked a few times. “His real name is Ben Solo. He's my son.”

Now it was his turn to gape at her. “He’s your son?”

Organa smiled sadly at him. “Do you have children, General Hux?”

“No, of course not,” he said a little too forcefully. A memory of a pale, meaty hand squeezing his shoulder resurfaced.

“Han and I were so happy when Ben was born, seeing something so pure and precious in a war-ravaged galaxy - it gives you hope.” She smiled again, but this time there was no trace of sadness. “Ben was such a compassionate child, he collected snails from the streets so that they won’t get stomped on - he put them all in our garden, it drove the gardner mad but I just couldn’t forbid it.” She fell silent, probably lost in memory.

Hux’s mind was working to process the information. So in a way Ren really was Vader’s heir, wasn’t he? The golden prince of the Resistance… turned to the Dark Side.

Organa cleared her throat. “I apologize - I can’t seem to talk of him without boring my listeners with old tales. They say that with growing age one tends to live in the past, there are days where I wished that was possible.” She took a sip of her tea. “I wanted to tell you so that you might understand why I’m so focussed on Kylo Ren. And because I may call upon your tactical knowledge of the First Order and for that you need all the facts.”

Hux took his mug from her table and stared in the dark-green liquid. “Ren’s hatred for Luke Skywalker… was he his teacher?”

“Yes. After we discovered that he was Force-sensitive we- I sent him to Luke. I thought it would help him but in the end it drove him away from us.”

He took a sip of tea. It was clear that something had happened between Skywalker and Ren, judging from the bits and pieces he gathered from Snoke and Ren himself it seemed that Ren had willingly become Snoke’s apprentice.

“You are quieter than I thought you would be,” said Organa.

“I just have one question: Can you kill him?”

She gulped. “A question I was too afraid to ask myself. I see what he has done, what he is doing and still… he is my son. I don’t know if I can.”

Hux stared at her. Even after everything she still loved him? He pressed his lips together. Of course it shouldn’t surprise him. Ren had not only been Snokes favorite, he had been the son of two galactic heroes. Force-sensitive too. Not only had he without doubt a privileged childhood but he’d been loved by his parents.

“Well, then I should tell you that I have no such qualms,” he pressed out.

Her dark-brown eyes bore into his. “I know.”

“When I first came here you told me that you wouldn’t ‘tolerate cruelty’. Was this about Ren?”

An expression of surprise flickered over her face. “No, no it wasn’t about that. I was referring to your methods. About the way you behave.”

He crooked an eyebrow. “I don’t understand.”

She frowned. “You really don’t, do you? We were worried that you would be inhumane towards others, that you would suggest cruel tactics against the Order. But truth be told… you are not what we expected.”

Hux grimaced. “Ah, I see. You confused my speeches and my rhetoric with my actual personality. Well, I don’t blame you, it seems the propaganda was actually better than thought.”

“No, that’s not it. We knew that you could be reasonable - Finn told us as much. But we worried about how we should keep up our end of the deal, especially if you had turned out to be cold and cruel against our people.”

“What? You were afraid that I could be cruel to your people when I was the one faced with a base full of former enemies? Like not every last of them hated the very sight of me?” he scoffed. “Like they wouldn’t want to kill me?”

Her gaze became hard. “You are the infamous General Hux, how could they not be afraid of your poisonous words or your lethal mind?”

It was so absurd that he laughed. “The infamous General Hux? I’m but a lowly bastard, too weak to be a real soldier, too dim-witted to predict that Ren would be my downfall.” He leaned forward and spat, “I know a few tricks, that’s true - but they are nothing compared to having true gifts, like Force-sensibility, or a brilliant mind like Sergeant Tico’s. Why did you think that I defected? Because I was too weak to make it in the Order - because Ren was and is better than me.” He grimaced. “Do you know what I did in the first two weeks? I checked my food for hidden sharp objects, I went to the shower in the middle of the night so that nobody would see me.” He scoffed again. “Infamous General Hux indeed.”

Her gaze softened. “As I said, ‘if’ you had turned out to be cruel. But you are not cruel, are you?”

He stared at her. What was she going on about now?

“Thank you, General Hux,” she said with a calm smile. “If you would excuse me, we both have a lot of work to do.”


	16. Misfiring

The next couple of days were surprisingly quiet. The perfect opportunity for Rose to work more on her ideas. There had to be a way to even the odds, she thought to herself as she pinched the back of her nose. She was in Hux’s quarters, sitting on his bed. The pictures on the wall had grown: now there were new pictures of the heater and some chips they had been working on. In the far corner was a picture of Millie sitting on the tree trunk.

She sighed and turned to stare back on her data pad as if the answer would magically appear on the screen.

Hux sat up behind her and gave her a kiss on her naked shoulder blade. “Had an inspiration yet?”

“It’s strange, usually I can come up with some sort of idea after a while. Remember that broken condenser in the nav system? That took me only two hours. But here- it’s elusive.”

He peeked over her shoulder on the pad. “It’s always hard to come up with a new concept. Much harder than to work with designs that already exist.”

“Do you only say that to make me feel better?”

He chuckled and gave her another peck. “It’s true. I once wanted to come up with something to make communications between pilots and mechanics easier - so that the pilots could just report the technical issues without sending a full report. One would think that kind of process management isn’t that hard but to be honest, I never made it work. I think that they write reports to this day.”

She let herself fall back on his naked chest and enjoyed his warmth as he embraced her. “Ugh, sounds tedious.”

“It is, but with the size of the Order’s operations these standardized procedures are necessary. The Resistance would need it too were it- well, were it more vast.”

She reached up and put her hand on the back of his head, pulling him down to kiss him. “All I need is some inspiration… and please don’t hold back if you got any ideas.”

He gave her another kiss, brushing over her cheeks with his thumb. “I’m afraid that all my ideas aren’t realistic with the resources the Resistance has. Not without doing business with Canto Blight.”

She looked him in his green eyes. “Maybe we just need to relax a bit to get creative.”

“That is a very cheap pick-up line, Sergeant,” he said in a low voice and leaned in to kiss her.

“It’s working, isn’t it?” she replied and kissed him back.

He cupped her breasts and nibbled at her neck. Just feeling his soft hands on her naked skin excited her. She bit her lips when he began to gently massage her nipples with his thumbs. She sat up straighter, leaning against his naked chest. She could feel his dick perking up against her back, she snuggled closer, drawing a gasp from him.

She closed her eyes and enjoyed the caressing touches. She could feel heat pooling in his crotch, the sensation made her wet.

She reached down and gently rubbed her clit. She could hear him pant behind her, his cock was now hard, pressing against her.

She bit her lips and propped herself up on her hands, sitting down in his lap. His cock brushed against her labia, making him suck in air. She grabbed it at its base and lowered herself on his throbbing dick.

His hand dropped from her tits to her hips as he adjusted himself under her. She could feel him inside her and she lifted herself a bit only to lower herself in a tantalising slow pace.

She could feel how his big cock parted her folds, how it slipped inside and she moaned when she was fully seated. He pushed inside her, pressing her hips against his.

His breathing was ragged, and he gave her a greedy kiss on her shoulder and her neck, trying to push even more inside. She laughed and lifted herself again only to lower her wet pussy on his throbbing cock once more - slowly.

“Stars, Rose!” he moaned.

“Fuck me,” she said in a sultry voice as she pressed herself down on him.

He grabbed her at her hips and pushed her up on all fours. He grabbed her hips hard and started to pound inside her, fast and hard.

She groaned and felt a delightful pressure building up inside her, she felt full, hot and close to cumming.

Moments later his thrusts became erratic and with a low grunt they both came. He rode his climax out with a few lazy thrusts.

“This feels nice,” she said. It almost felt like he was caressing her. No hasty movements.

He finally pulled out.

“Good to know. I like it too.”

She turned around and smiled at him. “Relaxation is the key, just as I thought. Just now I came up with a great idea?”

He was still out of breath and ran his hand through his hair. “You did?”

“Yeah,” she said and leaned over to kiss him. “I think that we need a midnight snack!”

He laughed. It was still an unusual sound - it made her feel warm and happy.

“Come here, you!” she said and snuggled up to him.

He smiled and gave her a peck on her mouth. There was something tender in his eyes when he looked at her. “Perhaps we can just stay like this for a moment?”

“Okay, but I still need that snack.”

A couple of minutes later they got up and she noticed that for the first time he hadn’t dimmed the lights during sex. He didn’t seem to realise it himself as he put on his boxers, his bare back on display.

There were old scars on his skin she hadn’t noticed before. She felt them whenever she touched him but seeing them made her realise that they weren’t from an accident. They were too even for that.

Was this the reason why he didn’t want to show himself before her? Well, either way he obviously didn’t want to talk about it, otherwise he would have already done so.

She put on her clothes and pulled her jumpsuit up.

Rose understood. He didn’t want pity, didn’t want to explain himself for something that was obviously private.

Hux stepped outside looking for Millicent - usually she was already waiting for him. He went to the trunk to look for her, to his surprise he saw that Captain Mircah and two other men he remembered seeing in the Cantina were already sitting there.

“Gentlemen,” Hux said cautiously and nodded towards them.

Mircah smacked his lips. “Ah, Hux. I bet you’re looking for that loth-cat.” His eyes dropped down to the box Hux was holding. “It looked hungry so we gave it our sandwiches. It retreated in the forest after that.”

“Ah, I see.” Hux put the box back in his bag, feeling oddly disappointed. Perhaps he had just gotten used to feeding Millicent. “Good day to you.”

He turned to leave when he heard a “Mrrrau” from a distance. A quick look towards the forest revealed nothing, but the heavy snowfall made it hard to see until the treeline.

“Mrrau!”

An orange spot appeared in the snow, hurrying towards the base. Hux couldn’t help but smile when he saw Millicent with her bushy tail high in the air.

“Mrrrauuuu! Mrau!” She protested as she came closer until she had reached his legs and wrapped herself around them, nudging with him with her big round head.

He crouched down and scooped her up with her arms, after a short moment of hesitation he sat down on a free trunk next to the others. He scratched Millie behind her ears, she purred loudly.

“Looks like you finally made a friend, Hux,” sneered one of the men. “All you had to do is bribe it with food.”

Hux glanced at the man. A short, light-skinned human, his words had meant to provoke him without doubt. But the last bit was added with a quieter voice as if he wasn’t entirely sure of himself. An odd combination. Unless Organa had been right and they were not quite sure if he was still dangerous.

An interesting thought. He mustered his best cold stare and looked him straight in the eye. “I don’t think we have been introduced. I am General Hux and you are?” If the man didn’t see thought this simple manipulation he would possibly tell him his - without doubt - lower rank and name, thus establishing that he was lower in the hierarchy.

The man was visibly taken aback. “I’m Lieutenant Orax.”

He just looked at the man once more before he focussed his attention on Millie. It seemed that Organa had been right. How curious considering that he was at their mercy. Especially since he had no real authority, especially with his scruffy clothes, the old parka and the slightly messy beard.

Mircah cleared his throat. “Alright, boys. Break-time is over.” The other men got up and walked back inside, Mircah lingered.

“I knew that you would show your true colours, Hux. You can play the polite nobody as much as you like but just now you showed your hand… you’re as cold and calculating as ever.” He shrugged. “Honestly, I’m not surprised. You’re just hoping to get rid of Ren so that you can take over the Order.”

“And how am I supposed to accomplish that by joining the Resistance when they are about to be wiped out?”

“How the kriff do I know? I’m just a stupid grunt. But I know right from wrong and I know that it’s a mistake to trust you.” With that he turned and left.

Hux watched him walk away and kept petting Millicent. Even Captain Mircah thought that he was some kind of evil genius who had masterminded his ascension to Supreme Leader with an intricate gambit. Organa had been right, they still thought of him as a larger-than-life figure.

He returned to the lab. Rose had her feet on the table and was rubbing her temples while staring at her pad. She looked absolutely striking - why a woman like her had deigned to be with him was still beyond him. She certainly didn’t think he had a hidden agenda, the way she looked at him was much too open, too trusting.

He felt a warm knot in his stomach. Stars, he wanted to kiss her right now.

She looked up and beamed at him. “How is Millie?”

“Good, a wonder she didn’t follow me inside.”

“Awww, one of these days we just have to take her inside. She could sleep in a box or something while we work.”

He chuckled. “I doubt that she would like it in here, her fur is too thick for room temperature.”

“A propos temperature; some of the pilots said that the isolation in the cockpit isn’t working properly. Apparently it’s getting quite cold after a few hours in space.”

Her eyes had the gleam they always had when she was talking about tech. He went over and gave her a quick kiss. “I assume there are no blueprints?”

She laughed. “Of course not, where would be the fun if we had proper blueprints?”

Just when he wanted to lean down for another kiss he heard the door behind him slid open and straightened his back.

Captain Finn appeared with BB-8 in tow. “Hi! Do either of you guys have time to look at my blaster? I was just on the shooting range and I swear that thing isn’t properly calibrated - but according to the scans it’s fine.”

Rose pulled her feet from the desk and got up. “Hux is the weapons expert.” She went to the door. “I’ll go check the isolation. It’s probably just the condenser anyway.” She headed out.

Finn crossed the room and pulled his blaster from his holster. Without hesitation he gave it to Hux. It was an DL-44, ancient even by Resistance standards. He activated his scanner and took a couple of readings.

“Hm, my scanner also shows that everything is correctly calibrated. What made you think that it wasn’t?”

“I’m a very good shot but I kept missing the target. First I thought that I was having a bad day but then I tried it with another blaster and... bullseye.”

Hux disassembled the barrel, the scope and finally the energy pack. “It’s the energy pack,” said Hux and wiped his hands from the weapons oil. “DL-44s are very sturdy and reliable but even they tend to show signs of fatigue after fifty years or so. The energy pack is leaking slightly, every time you fire the blaster the residue of the plasma causes a tiny friction, deflecting the blaster bolt slightly. I recommend that you ask the quartermaster for a new weapon.”

Finn groaned, BB-8 beeped in disappointment. “Come on, is there really no way of fixing it?”

Hux crooked an eyebrow.

“Okay, listen Hux. It’s a gift from Poe, alright? It’s his mother’s blaster. He wanted me to have it because I’m the better shot.”

“This… blaster has a sentimental value to you?” It made sense, Hux also bought his wrist blade after he killed his father to commemorate the occasion. He’d been quite partial to it too.

“It does.”

“I’m certain Ro- Sergeant Tico could fix it.” Hux’s breath faltered when he realised his slip of the tongue. He quickly continued to talk. “Or I could just refit the loading chamber. The handle would be slimmer though. Of course I could refit it and keep the larger handle by filling the empty space with polymers.”

Finn smirked at little. “It’s okay to call her Rose, you know. No need to panic.”

“What? No, no, I didn’t panic. Why would I panic?” he said a little too quickly. He cringed at his own words. He had to calm down, so what if they were on a first name basis? It’s common in the Resistance, it didn’t have meaning. Yes, he just had to play it cool.

“You’re so tense, Hux. A little informality doesn’t kill you, you know.” Finn laughed. “It’s not like you calling her by her first name means you’re making out with her.”

All of Hux’s carefully laid plans disappeared from his mind, he could feel heat spreading on his cheeks, unable to utter a single syllable.

Finn’s laughter stopped. “Hux?” His eyes went wide. “Oh stars! You _are_ making out, aren’t you?!”

“No! Of course not,” Hux said. “It’s just that your suggestion is so preposterous that I couldn’t reply right away.” He took a deep breath. “Rose Tico is a brilliant, beautiful woman, there is absolutely no reason why she would lower herself to consort with the likes of me.”

Finn wiped over his face. “Stars, you two are really making out. I can’t believe it.”

Hux realised that the nexu was out of the bag. He shouldn’t have said that he admired Rose. He felt miserable, he had single handedly made sure that she would stop seeing him - how could she not? What would the others say if they found out that she was sleeping with him - the scrawny bastard? Their enemy?

“I’ll do anything, just- just dont’ tell anybody,” Hux said in a low voice. “I’ll fix your blaster just like you wanted. I’ll fix anything you want or even design something for your convenience.” He would pay the price for his mistake. There had been enough blackmail in the Order, he knew how to play this game.

Finn exhaled. He crossed his arms and shook his head. “I won’t tell anybody, even if you don’t fix my blaster.”

Hux stared at him. “What? But-”

“It’s nobody’s business but your own, and it’s certainly not my business to tell people.” He looked down to BB-8. “Right, buddy? We won’t tell anybody.”

BB-8 beeped in acknowledgment.

“Besides, that would be a bit hypocritical, wouldn’t it? We eat, shower and fight together and what- the bucket is supposed to stop with intimate relationships? That’s where we draw the line? Not at the fact that we let you design our weapons?” Finn sighed. “Rose knows exactly what she is doing. And I’m assuming so do you.”

Hux almost couldn’t believe his ears. “I- Thank you.” He cleared his voice. “I’ll of course still check with Rose about the power cell. If you don’t mind you can leave the blaster here.”

“Right, and now if you’ll excuse me - I need to drink a beer in the Cantina. Or maybe two.” Finn awkwardly patted him on the shoulder and left.


	17. Killing Stars

Rose had already finished the initial scan when Hux appeared in the hangar.

“There you are! It’s just like we thought - the condenser is probably older than my grandmother. We just need to swap them and everything should be alright.”

“Ah, good,” said Hux. He looked a little distracted.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes, yes I am. Captain Finn just wants us to fix an DL-44. Perhaps you can have a look if you can salvage it? Otherwise I’ll refit a newer power cell.”

He seemed tense. Perhaps they had an argument? Well, he would tell her in his own time. “Okay, will do.”

“Uhm, there is something else we can discuss once we’re back in the lab.”

She stared at him. Something was definitely off.

“What? Finn knows?”

Hux averted his gaze. “I didn’t say anything but he deducted it from the way I reacted to a stupid joke. But he assured me that he won’t tell anybody.”

Crap! Well, at least it was Finn and not somebody else. “Where is he now?”

Hux looked miserable. “He’s in the Cantina I think.”

She wiped over her face. “Okay, I need to talk to him.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Well, I think we can still keep it quiet.”

“Rose-”

“We can talk later, I need to find him,” she said and hurried out of the lab.

She found Finn in the Cantina, he was sitting alone in a corner drinking a beer. When he saw her he sighed. “Damn, that was fast.”

Rose looked around, the Cantina was pretty much deserted and the other few customers were sitting rather far away. “Listen, I know what you might think but-”

“Really? Do you?” he asked with a huff.

That gave her pause. “I… at least I think so.” She inhaled and ran her hand through her hair. “I kind of fell for him, he’s brilliant and handsome. I mean- that’s supposed to be enough, right?”

“Funny, it’s almost the same way he described you: brilliant and beautiful.”

“He did?”

“Yeah, he said that he knew you’re too good for him. You want to know what I think? I think he’s scared. You should have seen the look on his face, and please consider who we’re talking about - the same guy who lied into Kylo Ren’s face while supplying us with intel.”

Rose blinked. “Why should he be scared?”

Finn turned the beer can in his hands and sighed. “It took me a while to get it. But you know why I didn’t freak out? Why I just told him that it was your business?”

She threw her hands in the air. “I don’t have the faintest idea - just tell me.”

“Because I know that feeling. Back when I first joined you guys, when I realised that this was my chance to really belong somewhere. And when Poe kissed me the first time I just- it was like the first time I felt like somebody really loved me. Back in the Order I had friends, sometimes lovers, but it didn’t feel the same. Here it feels more real, more like it’s actually a choice.” He scoffed. “Can you imagine what that feels like? There’s somebody who actually wants to be with _me_. So who am I to deny somebody else the same thing?”

Rose let the words sink in. “You were right. I didn’t know what you were thinking.” She recalled the look on Hux’s face when he had called out to her just before she left. Kriff. He had really been scared and she just hadn’t noticed. Instead she had just left him alone. Kriff!

She took the can out of Finn’s hand and took a long gulp. “I don’t even know how that happened. Thanks by the way, for not judging me.”

He took her free hand into his and squeezed it a little. “Knowing you, you already did all the judging by yourself.”

She could feel tears sting in her eyes, she didn’t even know why. She wasn’t sad- she just felt desperate, happy and scared at the same time. “Of course I did. I mean, I know it’s the same man who wanted to chop our heads off two years ago. But- I don’t know how to say it.” She took another gulp of beer. “He’s the same man but also different. It sounds stupid, I know.”

“Rose, this isn’t just about him - it’s about you too. How do _you_ feel?”

She blinked her tears away. “I’m happy when I’m with him, I like working with him and I like spending time with him. That’s why I decided to pursue this - the galaxy is a shitty place so why not enjoy the few happy moments we have?” She emptied the beer can and put it back on the table.

Finn was still holding her hand. “We’ll fix the shitty galaxy, okay? I know that sometimes it’s hard to keep on going but we’ll win this.”

She put her hand on his. “Of course we will, we are the spark that will light the fire to burn down the First Order.”

Finn nodded. “Damn right we are.”

Hux jerked his head up when she returned. She felt a stab in her heart when she saw him nervously stumble on his feet. Stars, she really was a klutz, she hadn’t even considered his feelings.

“How did it go?” he asked.

She stepped to him and embraced him. Her head barely reached his chest. “It’s fine,” she said, holding him tight. “I’m sorry that I literally ran away.”

He put his arms around her and held her in a light touch as if he weren’t sure if he should properly hug her. “I’m sorry that I slipped up, it was stupid.” He gave her a soft peck on the crown of her head. “Can we still see each other?”

She pulled him even closer to herself. “Of course we can. I- well, I really like you and I want to see you.”

He exhaled and his whole body relaxed. “I like you too, Rose. Very much so.”

She let go of him and they kissed, it was short and soft. She reached up and cupped his cheek. “How about I visit you tonight?”

He smiled. “I would love that.”

“Alright,” she cleared her throat. “Want to show me Finn’s blaster?”

He gestured towards the blaster laying on this workbench. “Of course - it’s an interesting case. DL-44s are usually heavily modified, but one isn’t. It has almost all original parts.”

Her eyes went wide. “Ohh, look at that scope - a real KV-31. This is really a collector’s item.”

“It is! Wait until you see the power pack!” he said with enthusiasm.

She looked at him, he looked so handsome when his green eyes lit up like that. Stars, he really was one of the smartest men she had ever met. And that bright ginger hair, these soft lips… She almost wished it was already evening.

As it turned out, she couldn’t fix the power pack without guaranteeing that the blaster wouldn’t explode in Finn’s hand after a couple of years. For the rest of the afternoon Hux was absorbed by refitting a new power cell while she was still mulling over ways to ensure that they would be ready to fight the First Order.

A spark to light the fire to… Come to think about it, it wasn’t necessary to match the Order in firepower, that wouldn’t be possible anyway. What they needed was a surgical strike that would incapacite them. A bit like a lightsaber, something small but powerful enough to do real damage.

“What is the blade of a lightsaber made of?” she asked.

Hux didn’t look up. “Kyber crystals.”

Rose went over to the holo table and activated it, pulling up a picture of a star destroyer. Hm, the thing was huge. Where to begin? “What would you say is the most vulnerable part of a destroyer?”

“It depends,” he said and got up. He stepped next to her and enlarged the hangar bay. “This is certainly the most vulnerable part for infiltration, with the right codes it’s possible to access the hangar.” He then enlarged another section of the ship. “For sabotage it’s the power core in the port section, but it’s heavily guarded and surrounded by shields.”

“Okay, but imagine you had one shot to take out the whole thing, what would you go for? The secondary power core? I assume it’s less guarded.”

“One shot? Then I would go for the bridge.” He enlarged the upper part of the ship where the bridge was. “There are no critical systems but the Order follows a strict, steep hierarchy. People are used to getting their orders from the bridge. If the commanding officers are dead there will be confusion and perhaps even infighting.”

She thought about it, it made sense but of course the bridge was heavily fortified too. “How many centimetres of durasteel?”

“Sixty.”

“Lightsabers can cut durasteel, right?”

“Well, Ren certainly did his part of damage to durasteel walls when he had his tantrums. But I imagine cutting through 60 cm of durasteel will take a while.” He smiled at her. “Do you want to use a lightsaber to take out the bridge? I know that Master Rey is powerful but even she might struggle with this one.”

She chuckled. “No, of course not. I thought that perhaps we could use fully automated boarding capsules with lasers. A small hole and a few plasma grenades should work, right?” She rubbed her chin. “But all the lightsabers I have seen are only about 50 cm long.” She sighed. “Uh, I need to think on this a little further. I thought I was onto something.”

Hux chewed on his lip. “Lightsabers are nothing but contained laser beams, without the containment field the beam would continue until the electromagnetic waves dissolve. They-” he broke off.

Rose looked at him expectantly. “Yeah? Do go on.”

He looked at her, for a moment she thought he looked paler than before. “It’s basically what we did with Starkiller.”

She stared at him. “Oh.”

Her idea was of course brilliant. Instead of using brute force she could use precision strikes. Elegant and deadly. But the look on her face… the way her smile crumbled.

“I- I didn’t realise,” she said in a low voice.

“But it wouldn’t be like Starkiller,” he said quickly. “It’s just the same technology.”

He chewed on her lower lip. “I guess that’s true,” she had a pensive look on her face. “The same technology, huh? That means that you would know exactly how to build the laser, right?”

“Yes,” he said, somewhat taken aback by her quick recovery.

“So, theoretically, what would you need to build the laser?”

He thought about it, most of the components were rather ordinary, at least for a smaller laser. “The most critical component is the kyber crystal. It’s very hard to find, especially after Starkiller. The planet itself had a rich deposit but I don’t know if there are any left after the collapse.” He had to recalibrate the power output, hm. An interesting problem. “Perhaps we could acquire just one crystal and split it up - with a modulator its energy output would be enough to drill a hole big enough for grenades.”

“I see, we could try to modify the grenades too - if we remove the timer she should be able to shrink them in size so that the hole itself can be smaller.”

He nodded. “We should start working on this right away!”

They were busy drawing up plans and modifying old droids for the next couple of days. Rose had decided that they should first check if the plan was workable before they presented it to General Organa.

In the evenings she visited him and they worked late into the night.

Rose got up from the bed and yawned. He admired her naked back and traced her curves with his hands. “Are you leaving already?”

She glanced over her shoulder. “It’s already late and I need to shower.”

Of course she had to leave at some point. He himself wasn’t sure why he even asked night after night. No, he knew why he asked. Because he loved the small moments when they just lay next to each other, feeling each other’s warmth.

She stood up and began to dress herself. “I think we should be more careful,” she said. “The last few nights I was always here. Somebody’s bound to catch up.”

“We could just say that we’re working late. It’s true, isn’t it?”

“We can use that excuse once.” She zipped her overalls up. “Come on, I know it’s hard - but we really have to be careful.”

He pressed his lips together. He knew that too of course, she was right. But the more she visited him, the more he was allowed to touch her, the more he wanted to spend time with her. He knew that he was getting greedy but he couldn’t help himself.

Rose took her pad and checked her messages. “Ugh, 20 messages. Can you believe that? And here I thought we took care of that damn heater.” She deactivated it and leaned down to kiss him good-bye. “See you.”

As soon as she was gone he checked his own pad. There was but one message - it was from Dr. Kalonia. She wanted to see him for a check-up. He quickly wrote back and confirmed that he would visit her the next day.

Then he dressed himself and headed for the shower.

Dr. Kalonia smiled at him when he entered the med bay. “Finally somebody who actually shows up!”

“Good morning, doctor.”

She took a scanner. “Everybody claims that they’re too busy for their inoculations, unbelievable!”

He lowered his pants and showed her his leg.

“Ah, very good. The scar tissue is barely visible anymore. Do you feel the injury sometimes?”

“No, it’s just as it was before.”

“Excellent,” she put the scanner away and grabbed a hypospray. “This is against the Kaasian flu.”

She injected it into his leg and he pulled the pants back up. From the back of the med bay he could hear quiet groaning.

Kalonia’s smile vanished. “If you’ll excuse me.”

She disappeared behind a curtain and Hux could hear her whisper something, a groan was the only answer. The soft hiss of the hypostray could be heard and the groaning stopped.

Dr. Kalonia joined him. “One of the pilots got hit during a recon mission. I had to amputate his right arm.”

“Ah, I hope you have the appropriate cybernetics to replace his hand?”

She nodded. “We still have a shipment of prosthetics, but like everything it’s a bit dated.”

He frowned. “How old?”

“It’s from the PY-100 line. Durable, good tech but not with the best sensory modules.”

It really was a pity that they didn’t have access to newer tech, sensory modules were not the most important things, but if he remembered correctly the feeling in the prosthetics limbs felt off if they weren’t properly calibrated. He imagined that would be disadvantageous for a pilot.

“Well, I could try to run an update on them,” he said. “I’m not familiar with med tech but I assume it’s not much different from updating a droids’ sensory module.”

Dr. Kalonia put her hands in her white lab coat pockets. “You’d really take a look? Well, that would be great of course! I didn’t report it because I thought with everything going on it was a bit of luxury.”

“I’m certain it will increase efficiency. Where can I find the cybernetics?”

“Right here,” she led him to two crates in a room.

He took one right arm out of the box. “I’ll start with this one and see if I can make it work.”

Suddenly the alarm went off and a voice over PA said, “Senior staff to the command center, senior staff please report to the command centre!”

Hux crammed the arm into his bag and hurried out.

When he arrived at the command center it was busy with overlapping voices and with one glance at General Organa who stood in the middle of the room he realised that they were excited, not worried about whatever was happening right now.

Commander Dameron spotted him and came over. “It’s Rey and Chewie, they found Ren’s shuttle. They’ll arrive soon, and from what I could gather they were able to tag his shuttle with the tracker as planned.”

Dameron slapped him hard on the back. “Don’t look so grumpy, Hugs! We did it - well, Rey and Chewie did it - but finally things are looking up!”

“There is still a low probability that the tracker won’t work, Commander. We should wait until Master Rey and Captain Chewbacca deliver their report.”

Dameron grinned. “Of course it will work out! After all Rose and you made that thing, there will be a huge party tonight!”

“I still think it’s premature-”

Dameron patted his shoulder again. “Come on, Hugs. We need a morale boost, so there will be a party tonight.”

Hux realised that once again he had misread Commander Damerons cheerful nature. He wasn’t simply enthusiastic, he knew how to lead people and he also knew that every army needed moments of triumph. “Of course.” He cleared his throat. “When will they arrive?”

“Now.”

Hux heard Girodyne SRB42 sublight engines roar over the base with their characteristic howling of the sub-light dampeners. Dameron grabbed him literally by his jacket and dragged him more or less into the hangar.

Rose was already there, together with a couple of pilots and other senior officers. They cheered when the ramp was lowered and Chewbacca and Rey exited the _Millennium Falcon_. Rose clapped and jumped up and down, Rey beamed and ran towards Rose, hugging her.

Hux couldn’t help but smile too, their energy was… infectious.


	18. Public Affection

The party was more extravagant than Rose could’ve imagined - cakes, alcohol and music. The music was of course just Commander Xyo’s Best-of-Playlist he had downloaded into PA-droids, the cakes were a bit dry and the alcohol was beer and a few bottles of Huttese vodka.

But that wasn’t the point, it was the fact that Poe somehow managed to hang up large banners and colourful lights that blinked cheerfully in the tact of the music. People were dancing and having a good time.

Hux was standing in a corner and observed everything with a furrowed brow as if he were studying an alien species on a foreign planet. She joined him.

“You don’t look like you’re having fun,” she said loudly to talk over the loud music.

To her surprise he laughed. “Is it that obvious?”

“Have you ever been at a party like this?”

“No, I’ve attended galas and balls in my official capacity but nothing like this. Truth to be told I would rather be working right now but Commander Dameron asked me to stay for a moment. I assume he intends to hold a speech.”

Rose chuckled. “Well, I hope there is more cake until then - I’m starving and the chocolate one is delicious.”

“Do you want mine? I took one because it was offered to me and it seemed impolite to refuse.”

She beamed at him. “Sure! Uh, only if you don’t want to of course.”

He presented her his cake that was still untouched. She took it and started to eat. Of course this was the moment when Poe decided to cut off the music and climbed on a table.

“May I have your attention!” he yelled over the protest of the partygoers. “I know, I know - nobody wants to hear boring speeches. So I will keep this short! Rey and Chewie, get up here please!”

Loud cheers erupted when Rey climbed on the table, Chewie had the good graces to keep standing on the floor, he was still about the same height as Poe standing on the table.

“Rey and Chewie went after Kylo Ren and thanks to their courage we’re one step closer to victory!”

Again cheers erupted, Rey bowed awkwardly and Chewie roared loudly.

“This success wouldn’t have been possible without the minds behind the tech that will track Ren’s movements: Rose and Hugs!”

Rose almost choked on the cake when the people around her began to cheer. She felt herself blush, Hux looked terrified.

“That’s all - enjoy the party!” yelled Poe another loud cheer erupted. Moments later the music continued to play a popular dance song.

Poe joined them. “What a party, huh?”

Rose frowned. “You could’ve warned us, I almost suffocated on a piece of cake! You know that I don’t like being put on a spot like this.”

“I would also appreciate it if you wouldn’t mention me like this,” added Hux.

Poe gave them a lopsided grin. “I know, that’s why I did it. So that people know what you guys do for the Resistance. I mean, of course we need good-looking daring pilots like myself but people tend to forget that the mechanics and the engineers behind all this.”

Rose smiled a little. “Okay.”

“I appreciate the sentiment, but if you would excuse me, Commander Dameron. I would like to check on the data feed.” Hux gave them both a curt nod and left.

“He definitely has to work on his people skills,” said Poe with a sigh. “I mean, after all this time he still calls everybody by their rank.”

Rose started to pick her hands. “Well, we’re on a first-name basis.” Better to be safe than sorry, it was possible that there would be another slip of the tongue.

Poe’s eyebrows went up. “You are? I can’t even remember what his first name is. Something with A I think.”

That caught her off guard. “Well, I still call him Hux but he calls me Rose. But his first name is, uh Armitage.”

“Ah, then there is hope for him yet,” he said with a smile. “As for you - maybe you should work on your people skills too.”

She stuck out her tongue.

The next couple of weeks consisted of waiting. If they wanted to predict where Ren was going and what he was doing on which planet, they needed data on his travels to predict where he would jump next.

Rose didn’t like waiting but luckily she could keep busy by working on repairs and on their new project. From time to time she helped Rey with her training by timing her run through the forest. It was freezing and thick layers of snow were now covering the ground but Rey didn’t seem to mind.

“You are amazing!” Rose said with laughter after one particular fast round. “Don’t you get tired?”

Rey jumped up and down and stretched her legs. She was only wearing a thin jacket. “Nah, sitting in the base is driving me crazy. I love running and training, makes me feel like I’m actually doing something.”

Rose sighed and rubbed her gloved hands together to warm her cold fingers up. “I know the feeling, that’s why I like to keep busy with repairs.”

Rey took her staff and began to train her forms. “Sometimes I miss it, you know. Exploring old ships. Sometimes I found amazing stuff, these days I feel - imagine, one time I found a diary of some spice smuggler. I don’t know if all of it was true but… that woman must have had an incredible life.”

“That I can believe!”

“Of course it didn’t end well for her, seeing as I found the husk of her ship in the dunes. But sometimes I would read in the diary and imagine how it would be - flying from planet to planet.”

Rose heard footsteps stomping through the snow. Kaydel Ko Connix joined them. “How is it going?”

Rey beamed at her. “I beat my own record!” She elegantly continued to practice with her staff.

Kaydel Ko smiled. “That’s great, Rey.”

Rose checked her chronometer, it was almost noon. She felt hungry. “Well, I should get going. I hear the chef is cooking his special noodles today. I can’t miss that!” That and she had told Hux that they could have lunch together.

“Okay, thanks and see you later!” said Rey.

“Bye Rose.”

She marched back inside the base, her hands started to tingle as soon as she was in the warm base. Stars, it was really cold outside.

Hux was already waiting at the entrance to the Cantina, bless him for his punctuality. They went inside and she peeled herself out of her parka while he got their plates.

When she sat down she had to adjust her overalls a bit, and by the time she settled in Hux had already appeared with the food.

“Thanks, I’m really starving!”

“Well, I need to taste these famed noodles too,” he replied with a soft smile.

She literally inhaled the food and leaned back with a satisfied smile on her lips. “They’re great, aren’t they?”

Hux shoved a forkful into his mouth and chewed. “I didn’t know that noodles could taste so different. Back in the Order I mostly ate ration bars.”

“Sounds horrible.” She adjusted her overalls again, stars, she shouldn’t have had a second helping. Eh, whatever. The noodles were great.

He just shrugged. “It was efficient.”

“I repeat, it sounds horrible!” she said with a laugh.

Hux checked the data they gathered so far - to his annoyance it wasn’t enough. Ren seemed to lay low for now, as incredible as it sounded. Or perhaps he had finally given in to Pryde’s nagging and actually ruled the Order?

Either way it was frustrating that they were stuck on waiting for Ren to make a move. Of course that meant that Rose and he could work on the boarding capsules whenever they found the time. It was quite surprising how often some critical piece of equipment broke down.

At least he had managed to improve the prosthetic arm as well as most of the spare parts.

Dr. Kalonia smiled at him when he brought another piece back to her. “Thank you - that is really a big help.”

He straightened his shirt and cleared his throat. “I have some free capacity, that’s all.”

“Ah, and here I thought you care about people, my bad.”

“No, it’s just about efficiency,” Hux replied. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m expected back at the lab.”

When he entered Rose’s head perked up. “Poe was just here, he asked if we wanted to come to the huttball game tonight.”

“Why not? I think I’m getting the hang of the rules. Even though it’s still annoying how many fouls the referee doesn’t punish with sending-off.”

She sighed. “That would ruin the game. It’s supposed to be a bit rough.”

He gaped at her. “But it’s against the rules!”

“That again? It’s just a game, and sometimes rules are meant to be broken,” she said with a mischievous wink.

He knew that she was only teasing him but he couldn’t help himself. “If everybody just did what they wanted there wouldn’t be a game to be played. Games are rule-based-”

The door behind him opened and he fell silent. Sergeant Major Tico appeared, carrying a plate with sliced purple fruit, probably jorgan fruit Hux assumed by the round shape of the slices.

“Mom, come on. You can’t keep interrupting our work!” groaned Rose.

“You need to stay healthy, and jorgan fruit has a lot of vitamins.” She put the plate on Rose’s desk.

“Uh, fine.”

“Besides, this is the first time in weeks that I stopped by. I got my hands full with distributing the new gear.” She turned to face Hux.

“You should eat too, Hux” she said with a crooked eyebrow. “You are too thin.”

Before he could utter a response she turned on her heel and left.

He exhaled and activated his pad and checked once more the data stream from Ren’s shuttle. He could hear Rose chewing on a slice of fruit.

“I think she is warming up to you. Do you want some too?” she asked.

“No, thank you. It’s too sweet for me.”

“Okay.”

After a while he looked up, she was slowly eating the fruit, eyes focussed on her pad. Her jet-black hair was bound together in a sloppy ponytail, as usual she was wearing her brown overalls. She looked as stunning as always and he had to force himself to refocus on his work.

Later that evening they were sitting next to each other, watching the huttball game. Loud cheers and boos erupted whenever a team scored. Right in front of them were Captain Finn and Commander Dameron, Dameron had his arm draped over Finn’s shoulders, holding him close.

From the corner of his eye Hux saw Rose, he was tempted to touch her, perhaps just brush her fingers as if by accident, to show her his affection just like Dameron did. But what if she didn’t like his public attempts for brief physical contact?

The grip around his beer bottle became harder. It was better not to risk it. He already made a mistake and had been lucky that she still wanted to be with him. He stared at the holo without really watching the game.

It certainly was odd anyway - to show affection in public. Why would anybody display their weakness? No, there was a reason why things like these are better kept private.

He watched Finn giving Dameron a peck on his cheek, whispering something in his ear.

Completely unnecessary he thought to himself while glancing at Rose. She was watching the game, feet dangling from the crate she was sitting on. Her jet-black hair was bathed in the blueish light of the holo, giving it an ethereal shine.

He pressed his lips together, yes, there was absolutely no need to want to touch her in public. None at all. Even if she was looking-

“General Hux, may I have a word?” said a voice to his left, derailing his thoughts.

Hux jerked his head around and saw Master Rey standing next to him.

He cleared his throat and felt caught in the act but he didn’t know why. “Of course.” He got up from the crate he was sitting on and grabbed his beer. Rose looked at him and gave him a small smile, he didn’t dare to return it.

“The last time we spoke you told me about your impressions of Ren, how you thought that he was angry and unstable.”

They walked out of the noisy hangar and stopped.

He nodded. “I did, Master Rey.”

“I told you, I’m just Rey.”

“Of course… Rey.”

She leaned against the wall, crossing her arms. “This time he was different. Before he was like a sea during a storm, strong currents moving him and his moods and now it’s calmer on the surface but beneath there is something lurking,” she shuddered. “Like a sea snake slithering in dark waters,” she stared blankly at the wall across from her. She blinked and looked back at him. “I know it doesn’t make a lot of sense but- have you ever witnessed something similar in him?”

“I don’t think so.” Ren had always been hot-headed, but when he became Supreme Leader he changed. “I mean he was getting calmer compared to when I first met him. But then again… perhaps I misread his moods. The way he orchestrated Snoke’s demise implies that he is capable of more self-control than I gave him credit for.”

“Chewie and I were observing him from a distance. He was watching his knights train. Suddenly he just grabbed one of them and Force pushed him away, then he yanked his training partner towards him and impaled him on his lightsaber.” She shuddered. “He didn’t even seem angry when he killed him. He stood over the body and stared at it like a toddler who had stomped on a snail… He acted like he was expecting him to move again, kicking him and watching his corpse as if he would get up and keep training.”

“Perhaps he just wanted to see how the others would react?” suggested Hux.

Rey frowned. “No, he already knows that they are loyal, does he not? No he- what if he sensed that I was there? Perhaps he did it to show me… I don’t know. Does he not care about the knights?”

Hux stared at the luke-warm beer in his hand. This reminded him of something, he just couldn't put his finger on it. Putting on a show… just for one person. Setting a stage… now it felt like krayt dragon scales from his eyes - it had been on D’Qar.

“After Crait we went back to D’Qar and-” he gulped. “We wanted to punish the people of D’Qar and Ren ordered the Stormtroopers to round up children for our recruitment program.”

Rey shot him a withering glare.

“Uh, I’m sorry. I don’t know how else to call it.” He licked his lips. “Ren called me to the hangar where they were putting the children on transports to be sent to our academy. And there was this one red-haired boy in the middle of a group, sobbing and crying as he was herded into the transport.” He exhaled. “And I had this _feeling_ that Ren was watching me the whole time, as if he knew that I would see the boy. And as if he would know that the boy would remind me of myself.”

“Did he say anything?”

Hux took a gulp of his warm beer and grimaced. “I acted like I hadn’t seen it and reported to him for orders, he didn’t mention anything and just told me to return to the ship.” He shrugged. “I assumed it was an attempt to show me that I was nothing more than some upstart dragged away into the Order whereas he chose to join it.”

“I assume you know that Force sensitives can pick up moods and emotions?”

Hux nodded.

“Just now, just talking about it - it did affect you, didn’t it? To see that boy?”

He jerked his head up and scoffed. “Of course it did. He reminded me so much of myself that it was almost uncanny. He looked weak, with his red puffed up eyes and his pale face.”

_Weak and useless._

The boy probably didn’t survive long. He gritted his teeth. This was exactly why he had made sure that he couldn’t father children.

“I think Ren could sense your sadness and anger,” said Rey. “Just like he may have sensed mine. But I still don’t get why he’s doing it.”

“I wasn’t sad,” said Hux in a low voice. He didn’t know what he had felt back then, something akin to anger and frustration perhaps.

She didn’t seem to hear him. “Perhaps it makes him feel powerful. That he can manipulate people’s feelings like he pleases.” She pushed away from the wall she was leaning against and started to pace. “He shows everybody what affects them most, with Han it was the face of his son - right before he killed him. With you it wasn’t death but something more perfidious like an innocent boy… with me it was the longing for love, a sense of abandonment only to use it to his advantage. And now this…”

Hux realised that she was right. Ren liked watching other people squirm and suffer, not because he was a mere sadist, it was because he enjoyed rubbing broken dreams into people’s faces.

Rey stopped her pacing. “I think I need to muse on this on my own.” With that she left.


	19. The Pudding

Rose was brushing her teeth, her eyes still half-closed as she stood half-dressed in front of the mirror going through all the tasks she wanted to finish today. Slowly, very slowly she woke up as she spit out and washed her face.

She combed her hair and pulled it into a ponytail before she grabbed her overalls, with a frown she saw a caf stain on it and threw it in the bin in the fresher before she grabbed the other one that was hanging in her closet. She put her legs in and pulled it up, when she zipped it up, she realised that it was a little tight around her stomach and thighs.

She stepped in front of the mirror and confirmed with a look what she already knew: she had gained a bit of weight. She frowned, she really should exercise a bit more. All the extra food her mother was bringing and the fact that she now actually ate regularly in the Cantina with Hux was bound to catch up.

Well, it didn't matter. She’d never been slim and her weight had always fluctuated a little. She would just go visit her mother to ask her for a shirt or something until her other slightly bigger overalls was back from the laundry.

“Ro-Ro, how nice of you to finally visit your old mother!” cried her mother as soon as she stepped into her office.

“We just saw each other yesterday,” Rose dryly retorted.

“Ah well, it’s so rare for you to seek me out - how can I help you?” Her gaze dropped to Rose’s mid-section. Then she leaned closer. “You should cut back with all the sweets you’re eating, Ro. You’re getting a bit heavy.”

Rose regretted her idea to ask her for other clothes and rolled her eyes. “Mom! I haven’t eaten candy since I was 10 years old. Maybe you should just stop bringing me all this food. Besides - so what? Just give me a shirt size 40 and pants to go with it. My other overalls are in the laundry.”

“I’m only bringing you healthy food!”

“Rolls and dumplings aren’t exactly healthy,” Rose pinched the bridge of her nose. “It’s too early for this discussion, could you please just give me the clothes?”

Her mother disappeared into the clothes chamber and returned shortly after with two khaki shirts and dark brown pants. She handed them to Rose. “Here you go.”

Rose decided to leave before her mother could say anything else to further infuriate her. She stomped back into her quarters and changed into the new clothes. If she was sitting for the next eight hours she needed to be comfortable.

Hux and Rose made good progress with their boarding droid and were about to finalize the hooks that attached it to the ship’s hull when her mother stormed in, holding a plate with sliced banana pieces on it.

Rose stared at her incredulously. “Really? First you nag at me for eating too much sweet stuff and now you’re bringing me these fructose bombs?” She sighed. “Can’t you just- can’t you just leave me be?”

The moment she had said it she regretted her words, despite everything her mother was just trying to take care of her only remaining daughter. Her words had been too harsh.

A brief flash of hurt flashed over her mother’s face and she looked down on the bananas. Then she lifted her chin and said, “They’re not for you - they’re for Hux!” She put the plate on his workbench. “Not everything is about you, Rose!”

Before either Rose or Hux could say anything she had stormed out of the room.

“What was that about?” asked Hux.

“We had a small argument this morning and as usual she doesn’t get it.”

Hux looked at her, there was something in his gaze she couldn’t entirely identify. “I think she keeps bringing you food because she appreciates you.”

She sighed, “Of course she loves me, she’s my mother.”

Hux looked slightly taken aback and said in a low voice. “Yes, yes of course.”

Rose threw the hydrospanner on the table. “But she drives me crazy with her obsession with food. I mean - I get it. We didn’t have much on Hays Minor and my parents had to work hard to put food on the table. They didn’t have time to play with us, or help us with homework because they had to work. But come on, we’re both grown-up now. She should be smart enough to know that food doesn’t equal love, it’s just food.”

She turned to face Hux and drew breath to continue when she saw that he looked miserable. Kriff, she really was a rancor in a porcelain shop. To him it wasn’t self-evident that her mother loved her, after all - he couldn’t remember his. She knew that it was a sensitive topic to him and still she had yapped on.

She put her hand on his arm and rubbed his softly. “I’m sorry. Sometimes I don’t think when I talk.”

He straightened his back. “Don’t worry. It’s silly to wonder- I mean I assume that my mother appreciated me, in a way at least. Perhaps my father lied to me when he said that she was glad to be rid of me. If not...” he shrugged. “Well, then I’m better off not knowing her.”

She smiled at him. “Come on, let’s put the past behind us. And don’t forget to eat your banana slices, they turn brown after a while and get all sludgy.”

He hesitated, his gaze wandered from her to the banana and back again. “They’re not for me.” It almost sounded like a question.

“They sure are,” she said, “the longer I think about it, the more I think that she really brought them for you. That’s why she was annoyed, right? Because it really wasn’t about me.”

A smile appeared on his lips. “I’m not sure that I follow that logic. But it’s not unreasonable that she brought the food for me. Sergeant Major Tico has commented on my slender frame before.”

Seeing the change in his face from miserable to something akin to happiness gave her a stab in her heart. Despite his distrusting, cautious nature he was ready to believe her that somebody had sliced fruit just for him. She gulped. She shouldn’t have told him that they were for him, it was cruel to pretend that her mother cared that way about him.

Hux slowly ate a few slices, as if he expected them to turn bad in his mouth. He looked so vulnerable, so lost that it hurt watching him.

Stars, she wanted to tell him that she just _knew_ that his mother had loved him. She blinked tears away and turned her back towards him, pretending to continue working.

Cold air burned in her lungs as she stopped running, clouds of breath were obscuring her sight but Rose knew that she had finally finished the run. Rey was of course already waiting for her at the end of her course, smiling cheerful and without a single drop of sweat on her forehead.

Rose was hot and cold at the same time, she bent down and tried to catch her breath.

“That was great, Rose! I love it when people train with me!”

“Damn it,” panted Rose, “I knew that I was out of shape but this is… way worse than I thought.”

“You just have to train regularly, nobody is fit without some proper training.”

Rose unzipped her parka and let herself fall backwards on the cold snow. The cool air felt good against her sweat-drenched shirt. “Yeah, I know. I just need to keep at it.” She sighed. “So, who else is training with you?”

“Finn and Kaydel Ko, Finn says he gets stir-crazy and Kaydel says she wants to work out a bit more.”

“I didn’t know that Kaydel needed training, she already looks quite fit to me.”

Rey shrugged. “She is in very good shape, she usually trains with weights and treadmills. I assume she wants to get some fresh air.” She crouched down next Rose. “Come to think of it, why are you here?”

“I have gained a little weight and I thought I should try to get rid of it. In the past few days I haven’t eaten snacks and I’m pretty strict with the food but it doesn’t seem to help. I mean, I’ve always gained and lost some weight in the past years, but in the end I have always bounced back.”

Rey helped her up. “You shouldn’t sit in the snow, you’ll catch a cold.” She smiled. “I haven’t noticed that you gained weight, you sure?”

“It’s there and it kind of bothers me.” She thought to mention the fact that her mother was glaring at her everytime she saw her. It made her feel uncomfortable.

“Well, if it bothers you you’re always welcome to train with me.”

“Thanks.”

A couple of days later Rose was sitting in the Cantina, staring in her pad while trying to figure out one of Hux’s calculations that wasn’t working. Meanwhile he was getting their food.

Odd, usually they were flawless, perhaps it hadn’t to do with the calculation but with the latitude of the chips used in the-

Somebody sat down beside her.

She didn’t look up. “Ah, there you are, Hux. That was fast, I almost-”

“Ah, Ro-Ro,” said her mother with a sigh. “How are you?”

She was taken aback and jerked her head up. “Uh, fine. How are you?”

Her mother smiled and craned her neck to see Hux in the food line. “Did you tell him that you wouldn’t eat the dessert?”

Rose slammed her pad on the table. “Of course I didn’t tell him! There’s pudding for dessert! I love pudding!”

“You think I’m doing this because I want to?” her mother said in a calm voice, as if she was explaining something to a little child. “Rosie, I’m doing this for you. You haven’t lost weight, haven’t you?”

“So what?” hissed Rose. “I’m not Paige, mom! I’m a bit heavier and I’m fine with it! Do you think I care if I weigh a little more?”

Her mother paled at the mention of her sister but Rose didn’t care. She was too angry. Every damn time she talked to her she made her feel bad.

“When was the last time you had a boyfriend, Rose?” her mother shot back. “Remember aunt Miri? She was the funniest and wittiest woman I have ever known - but she stayed alone until-” she broke off. “I don’t care about your weight, but what about the men? You know how they are, they go after a pretty face and they like skinny women, Rose.”

Rose stared at her, a lump forming in her throat. It- it was true, wasn’t it? She wasn’t skinny and she certainly wasn’t pretty.

“You are 26 years old, Ro-Ro. I know that you want children one day. So you need to make an effort.” Her mother got up and squeezed her arm. “I’m not doing this to hurt you, I just want to help you.”

In this moment Hux returned with the food, he had managed to squeeze both bowls and the desserts on one single tray.

Her mother patted her arm and left.

Hux put the bowl with soup and the dessert in front of her. “Did you solve the problem with the calculation?” He sat down across from her, scanning her face with his eyes. “Are- are you alright?”

Rose gulped but the lump in her throat didn’t go away. “No, I’m just- I think I caught a cold when I was training with Rey.”

“Do you want me to get some tea with honey?” he asked with a worried expression on his face. She took in his beautiful forest-green eyes, his carefully trimmed beard and his bright ginger hair - he looked striking, absolutely striking. The slim dark dark green sweater he was wearing complimented his pale skin and his hair colour. One of the most handsome men she had ever seen, and so brilliant too, and kind and considerate.

What did he see when he looked at her? A short, round-faced, plump woman wearing a shirt with machine oil on it. Dark hair and dark-brown eyes like half the galaxy. She wasn’t even nice, she was self-centred and sometimes forgot about his feelings, like when she had talked about her mother.

Why was he even with her? The answer was simple, of course - because he had no choice. There weren’t that many people that spoke with him… at least in the beginning. These days he sometimes even talked to others, there were only a few Rebels left that resented him from the bottom of their hearts.

But now? It was only a question of time before he made friends. Other friends than her. He would leave her, and why wouldn’t he? There were prettier men and women on the base, people who weren’t short and hadn’t a few kilos too much.

She pulled herself together and forced herself to smile. “Thank you, but I’m fine.”

He looked like he wasn’t sure if he should believe her but he didn’t ask further.

That day Rose didn’t eat her pudding.

Hux checked his chronometer. It was time for dinner. He deactivated his pad and put it in his dark grey bag. “Come on, Rose. There is meatloaf on the menu tonight. We need to be quick or the meat will be gone before we even get in line.”

She barely looked up from the prototype she was working on. “I got to finish this, I’m kind of in a flow right now. You go without me, alright?”

“Uh, I can wait up if you want - I’m not much of a meat eater anyway. We can go later.”

“No, you go ahead,” she almost sounded annoyed.

“If you insist,” he said slowly, insecure how to read her mood. Perhaps he was too clingy.

He ventured into the Cantina and spotted Captain Finn and Commander Dameron. He joined them and pointed at an empty chair. “Is this seat taken?”

“It’s not,” replied Finn. “Where’s Rose? Doesn’t she know that today there is meatloaf on the menu?”

Hux placed his bag on the chair and straightened his shirt. “She is working on something and asked me to go ahead. I’ll ask the cook to save a plate for her for later.”

“Good idea, she loves that stuff,” said Finn. “Especially the sauce.”

Hux nodded and got in line.

A few days later Hux checked his chrono to see if it was time for lunch. When he wanted to point out that it was soon time he realised that Rose hadn’t joined him for lunch or dinner for a while now. In the evening she rarely visited him anymore and if she did she seemed distracted and left early. At times she even dimmed the light.

This was what he had anticipated: she was losing her interest in him. And why should she not? She was a genius tinkerer with the most beautiful smile, a woman who made everybody around her happy with her gentle, witty words and who had the most mesmerizing dark-brown eyes, silky hair and amazing curves.

What did she see when she looked at him? A sickly, pasty man with ugly ginger hair, a scrawny chest and thin legs, and on top all of that, he had been her enemy for years. No doubt she regretted getting involved with him in the first place. Perhaps this was her way of slowly getting rid of him?

He’d always known that it would end, how could it not? But he was still surprised that the very thought of not being able to touch her, kiss her made his heart ache. He blinked a few times. He had to pull himself together, it was immature to make it harder than it already was.

He looked again at the chrono, the minutes went by, lunch time was coming closer. Should he ask her to join him? Stars knew he wanted to, because- what if she agreed? They could laugh and talk like they used to... Or should he accept her decision and leave her be?

He chewed on his lower lip. What was the right thing to do?

No, that was the wrong question. He sat up straighter. This was a problem like every other one. And the first thing to every solution was to identify the root of the problem. Yes, he would apply logic as always.

First, he needed to ask her if she wanted to go to lunch with him. Option 1: She agreed and that meant that she still enjoyed his company. Option 2: She didn’t agree which would lead to the next question: Did- he paused before he finished the thought - did she still enjoy his company? Again there would be two possible outcomes.

Yes, this was just a problem like the others. He felt that his heart was pumping a little faster and the palms of his hands became a little sweaty.

“Rose,” he began, then he gulped. “How about lunch?” She raised her head from the prototype, she looked pale and miserable. He felt an iron grip around his heart.

“I’m not that hungry, I’ll keep working. You should go though.”

So, option 2. “Do you- well, don’t you want to go to lunch with me anymore?” Her eyes went wide and he quickly added. “You seem to be avoiding my company for the past few days.”

His heart was hammering in his chest as he waited for her answer, he clenched his hands to fists and tried his best to appear calm.

She blinked a few times and sniffled. “I’m sorry, Hux. I didn’t mean to avoid you- it’s just…” she trailed off and wiped over her eyes. “I’m eating too much.”

Hux unclenched his fists and stared at her. Of all the possible options he had prepared this definitely wasn’t on his list. “What?”

She sniffled again. “I know that I gained a bit of weight and I- I thought I could lose it if I just stopped eating so much.” A single tear ran down her cheek. “I’m sorry that I can’t pull myself together. I’m just so tired and hungry.”

He jumped up to his feet and crossed the room to take her into his arms, holding her close to him. “I didn’t notice that you were so unhappy,” he whispered. “I’m sorry.”

She returned the hug and buried her face in his chest. “I was just so scared that you won’t like me anymore.” Her voice was slightly muffled.

“How could I not?” He let her go and gave her a kiss. “I love you, Rose. I love your brilliant mind, your genius ideas and of course every other part of you. I don’t care if you gain or lose weight.” He kissed her again. “I was scared that you got tired of me.”

She sniffled and kissed him back. “We really suck at communication, don’t we?” She laughed and cried at the same time.

He blinked his own tears away. “I’m afraid so.”

“I love you too,” she said with a broad smile.

Hearing her say the words made him feel light-headed. “You- you don’t have to say it back.”

“I want to.” She kissed him again. “I love you, Armitage, because you make me happy with your dry wit, with your smart brains and of course because you’re good in the sack.”

He laughed. “Aren’t you supposed to say something about my eyes?”

She grinned at him. “Come on, let’s get some lunch.”

Rose relaxed and was in a good mood when they sat down at a table with their trays.

“Ah, this looks delicious,” she said and shoved a forkful of rice into her mouth and chewed. “How is the programming of the droid coming along?”

“I think I can finish it today. Then we can start with the test runs. Did you fix the problem with the prototype?”

“Sure, the power converters were too weak to handle the charge. I just updated them, now they should be fine.”

“Did you use the 117er port?”

She laughed. “Of course not, you’re such a tease. I used the 118er like you suggested.”

He smiled, seeing her back to her old self made him happy. It was odd to imagine the galaxy without her, why hadn’t he seen it when he first met her back on the _Supremacy_? He must have been blind.

Come to think about it, he really had been blind to so many things. The Order, his role in all of it and of course about the Rebels. He hadn’t even seen the brightest star in the galaxy, he thought as he watched her devour the rice like a starved nexu.

Stars, he really loved her.


	20. Keeping Calm

It had been days since Rose last felt so laid-back, it was as if a rock had been lifted from her chest. She still felt self-conscious when she undressed before they went to bed together but his lingering, soft touches made her forget her concerns.

Rose was so relieved that she didn’t care anymore if she spent her evenings in his quarters. How could something that felt so good, something that made her so happy, be cause for concern?

They lay next to each other, caressing each other’s faces when she remembered that she had a gift for him. She reached down to her overalls and pulled her holo out.

“What are you doing?” Hux asked as she shifted away from him. “You aren’t leaving, are you?”

“No, I got something from Aish I thought you would like,” she replied and forwarded him a holo picture.

She grabbed his bag from the floor and handed him his holo. He displayed the picture; it was a snapshot of the last huttball game. It showed Poe talking to Hux, with his trademark grin on his lips. BB-8 was apparently rolling towards them on the edge of the picture. Next to Poe was Finn, his hand was on Poe’s leg. Hux himself looked somewhat surprised, if one squinted it could seem that he was almost smiling. To his left was Rose, sitting on a crate cross-legged, she was holding a beer and was smiling at Hux.

“I thought you would like that to your collection,” she said and gave him a peck.

He pulled her into a hug and kissed her back. “Thank you.” He got up and uploaded the holopicture to the wall.

She watched him rearranging the pictures so that the new one was in the middle. Perhaps it was her imagination, but it seemed that the room just got a bit brighter.

She stepped into the shower and activated it. She applied gel all over her body and frowned a little when she reached her belly.

It was still odd all things considered. She never had issues with her weight before, not like this. Some of her friends back on Hays Minor had the same problem, but they were pregnant. She couldn’t be pregnant, that was impossible. She noted a few weeks back that she needed to renew the protection shot for the next three month but she kind of forgot about it. And why not? Hux had a vasectomy, so why bother?

She turned the shower off and went to her pile of clothes. She started to dress herself. It was of course possible that it was some kind of thyroid malfunction. Either way it was sensible to go visit Dr. Kalonia. Kalonia could do a general check-up and tell her what Rose already suspected: that she just needed to exercise more.

“Ah, Rose - did you finally decide to go get your inoculations?” asked Dr. Kalonia.

“Uh, no - I don’t?” Rose said hesitantly. “What kind of inoculations are you talking about?”

“I sent a message weeks ago about the flu inoculation,” she looked down on her pad. “And your protection shot of course. I take it that you had no problems with the active components of the last one?”

Rose sat down on the chair in front of the doctors desk. “No, everything was fine. I’m here for a general overhaul, doc.”

Kalonia smiled warmly at her. “I’m afraid I can’t check your oil pressure, just your blood pressure.”

“Sorry, trade disease. I gained a bit of weight lately and I’m worried that it could be something medical.” She licked her lips. “I just want to make sure because my weight was pretty stable in the past years, I mean within the usual few kilos more or less.”

“Alright, all I need is a drop of your blood.” She took an injector and pushed a few buttons on it.

Rose gave her her hand and Kalonia used the device to draw a little blood from her middle finger.

“We just have to wait for half a minute to see the test results,” she said. “In the meantime: how are you?”

Rose shrugged. “I’m fine. A bit overworked I guess and stressed of course because of the whole situation. Like everybody.”

Kalonia sighed. “True, true. But it’s still important that you try to take enough breaks, Rose. I know that it feels like everything depends on us, but we can’t help anybody if we don’t take care of our health.”

“I know,” admitted Rose. “But it’s hard to-”

The injector beeped and Kalonia checked its display. “Please, don’t let it bother you. I’ll just scroll down.”

Rose shifted in her chair. “Okay. Well, it’s hard to actually take a break. It got better since Hux helps me.” She observed Kalonia as she read the results, she got slightly nervous. “So, what is it, doc?”

“You are perfectly healthy, Rose. And you’re pregnant.”

Her mind stopped working. “What?”

“According to this test you’re about seven to nine weeks pregnant. Some women experience weight gain and a bigger appetite after the first month.”

“Kriff,” said Rose. “That’s impossible.”

Kalonia leaned back in her chair and put the injector down. “Biology is rather simple in its own way, I wouldn’t call this impossible. Do you want me to walk you through your options?”

Rose shook her head. “I know the drill. I can abort until the twelfth week, right?”

“Yes.”

She exhaled. Kriff! How had this happened? Should she abort right now? Before anybody caught wind of this? Seven to nine weeks, damn it. It must have happened right after her protection ran out. She took a deep breath. She had to think this through, yes, she had to calm down. She had time to think about it.

“Thank you, doc. I think I need to process the news.”

“Of course. And if you need somebody to talk to - my door is always open.”

Rose got up from the chair. “Thank you.”

She hurried down the hallway, walking to the lab like on autopilot. Kriff, kriff, kriff. What now? Should she act fast? Should she ask Hux what the kriff had happened that she got pregnant?

Just before she entered the lab, she slowed her step and hesitated before she went in. She wanted to talk to somebody about this and she needed to tell Hux anyway. Best thing was to play it cool and tell him in a calm manner. Yes, she had to keep calm. She closed her eyes for a moment and stepped inside the lab.

Hux was already there. He looked up from his pad and smiled at her. “Morning. Did you stop at the Cantina for an extra mug of caf?”

Seeing him sitting there derailed all her carefully laid plans. “I’m pregnant,” she blurted out.

The smile faded from his face. “Pardon?”

“I was in the med bay and talked to the doc. Routine check-up - turns out that I’m seven to nine weeks pregnant.”

All colour drained from his face. “That’s not possible. I- I had a vasectomy.”

She started pacing. “I know! But I’ve only been with you. So it’s pretty clear that something didn’t work out … or rather worked out too well.”

He got up from his seat as if he wanted to join her, but he only stood there, awkwardly staring at her. “I’m so sorry, Rose. I swear I was telling the truth! I would never burden you with- with something like this on purpose!” He sounded like he was on the verge of panic.

She went over to him and took his hand. “Come on, we need to talk about this in private.”

He gulped. “Of course. How- how about we take a walk in the forest? It would be less suspicious than going into our quarters.”

“Okay, let’s go for a walk.” She grabbed her parka from her chair.

They walked in silence towards the exit. Thoughts and emotions tumbled through her mind, but when she inhaled the cold, fresh air she calmed down a bit. There was no need to panic, they would talk and decide what to do.

Hux tried to collect his thoughts as they walked through the snow. Something must have happened when he was injured, he knew that he had the vasectomy without a doubt. The First Order medic even had the audacity to frown at his request.

_‘The Order needs children’ he said with a nasal voice._

_‘It doesn’t need mine,’ Hux - then a simple Lieutenant - snapped back._

He was a weak-willed, sickly child. Only through nepotism, ruthlessness and hard work had he managed to stay alive all these years. That and the fact that his father taught him how the Galaxy worked. The strong thrive and the weak die.

The only sounds were their steps in the snow and their light panting as they made their way into the forest. He gulped and looked at Rose who was marching beside him. He knew her, she would lie to him - she had only been with him.

After a few minutes Rose stopped and turned to face him. They were surrounded by snow-covered trees, thin rays of light fell through the canopy, painting the forest unusually bright.

“I think that’s far enough,” she said and rubbed her gloved hands together.

“I agree.”

Silence stretched out. He didn’t know how to begin. It was pretty clear that she should get rid of it, after all it was his child. Nobody in their right mind would want him to procreate. Force knows what would happen if he did.

A distant memory of a large meaty hand holding a belt resurfaced in his mind. _‘I will teach you, boy. I’ll teach you good.’_

And he had. He even looked like his father, or rather a haggard version of him. The same hair colour, the same pale, bland eyes. It was uncanny to see him die from poison in that bacta tank. Like he was killing an older version of himself.

And perhaps that was exactly what he had done. Wasn’t he the carbon copy of him down to the slicked back hair? What if he was the one holding the belt one day?

He cleared his throat. “I apologize again for my carelessness. I assume you already set a date for the abortion?”

She exhaled. “No I didn’t. You don’t need to apologize - you didn’t do it on purpose.” She stepped to him and hugged him.

He embraced her and gave her a peck on her head. “Will you talk to the doctor later?”

“I- I need to think first.”

He rubbed her back with slow circular movements. “I know it’s not easy, but I think the faster you take care of it, the faster you can relax and recover from the ordeal.”

“I know. It’s just- I keep thinking that perhaps I should keep it.”

He froze. “Rose…”

She craned her neck so that she could look at him. “We live in a dangerous galaxy, it would be insane to bring a baby into this world and still - what if this is our only chance?”

He let go of her and took a step back. “Please, Rose. You don’t know what I’m capable of. What if- what if-” he couldn’t say it. The words got stuck in his throat. ‘What if I’m like him?’ He took a deep breath. “I killed so many people. Including my own father.”

“I haven’t forgotten,” she replied in a quiet voice.

His breath faltered. Of course she knew what he was capable of, the whole galaxy knew since Starkiller. “Then you must see that it’s not right for me to have children.”

“And where else should we draw the line?” She sounded bitter.

“I don’t understand.”

“It’s right for you to help us win the war. You fix prosthetic limbs for people that have been maimed by the very war machine you helped to build, but you think you’re not allowed to a life? What will you do once it all ends?”

He hadn’t thought about it. “I don’t know. I wasn’t even sure General Organa wouldn’t execute me on the spot once I arrived. I just- I just wanted something different.”

She wiped snow from a rock and sat down. “I mean, what about us? You and me?”

He pulled up the hood of his parka and buried his hands in his pockets. “If I’m honest… I thought you would end it sooner or later. You are an amazing engineer and a great woman, Rose. There are much better men and women in the galaxy than me.”

She pulled her legs up and hugged her knees. “Funny. That’s basically what I thought about you. I thought that you would leave me eventually once you settled in. I don’t know what happened to you that you don’t see it yourself - you’re brilliant, kind and very handsome.”

He wanted to object but it wasn’t the right time, this wasn’t about him. She sighed. “I admit that for a very short moment I asked myself if I wanted to keep it because then perhaps you wouldn’t leave me. I wondered if that was the reason for my hesitation to set a date for the abortion.”

He gulped. “What do you think now?”

“I’m not sure. I’m in two minds about it. On one hand, I know that it would be easier just to make it go away, I mean - what are we supposed to do? Just admit that you’re the father? Pretend it was some mystery man? Both options suck in their own way. On the other hand, I kind of want to keep it, I’m not sure why.”

She drew breath.

“I always wanted children one day, I always thought that the right time would come. I was with this pilot once, he wanted to have children too… but I got the feeling he wasn’t the right man. I simply couldn’t picture growing old with him.”

“How old were you?”

“I was 20, so maybe I was too young. I don’t know. My point is… I could picture growing old with you.” She smiled nervously. “I know it’s an odd thing to say but I really do. When I’m thinking about the time after the war, I catch myself imagining that we would settle in a house or somewhere in a nice flat, open our own engineering or repair shop. Sometimes I imagine how it will be if the war never ends, if we’re still fighting in a decade. Then I picture us together in some hangar, fixing General Dameron’s ancient personal fighter.”

He smiled. “General Dameron? Really? You think he would still fly?”

“Do you doubt it?”

“Not really.” He thought about what she had said. He had to admit that she was right, it seemed oddly logical that she would always be there, whatever the future would hold. He couldn’t imagine a life without her.

“When I’m with you it just feels _right_.” She rubbed her hands together. “I’m not some moony teenager and neither are you. We’ve both seen how shitty the galaxy can be, how bleak it can be. And we’ve known each other only for a couple of months. We both have emotional baggage to deal with. But for me… the longer I think about it… it just feels right.”

He went to her, bent down and gave her a kiss. “I love you, Rose. But I implore not to do this. Imagine what the others will say if the truth comes out. They will think you’re reckless, you might think that it’s fine now, but what about in a couple of years? You don’t know how it is, how it wears you down during the years… the stares and the whispers behind your back.”

“What did they whisper about behind your back?” she asked, cupping his cheek.

“That I’m a lowly bastard. A skinny, weak-willed man who had only gotten his commission because of his father. I won’t bore you with details.” He got up. “At one point you start wondering if they’re right.”

She got up too and rubbed her arms. “I know. I mean… I never really thought about my weight but I still listened to my mom when she told that I- well, it doesn’t matter. I tend to see me as this lesser version of my sister, she was tall, slender and beautiful - I don’t know why I even think that. It’s just there.”

He was tempted to contradict her again, but again he felt that would be beside the point. And she was right, wasn’t she? It didn’t matter why the feeling was there, it just was. The question was what to do with it.

“Are you really certain that you want to keep the child?” he asked.

“‘Certain’ is a big word, at the moment it’s just a strong inclination. I think we have to wait a couple of days for the final decision. What about you? Don’t you want it?”

It was a simple and yet such a crucial question. What did he want? “I don’t know. I feel honoured that you even consider having a child with me and at the same time I’m terrified.”

“Terrified? How so?”

“I was a timid boy, a little clumsy too. Not exactly soldier material. My father was a very harsh man, he did everything in his power to make a soldier out of me. He promised me that he would get rid of my softness, my weakness - and he did.” He averted his gaze and looked up to the top of the trees, unable to hold her gaze. “Have you ever hated someone so much that even looking at him makes your stomach hurt? So much that you watched him die slowly and you’re just so glad that you can’t help but smile?” He looked back on the forest ground. “I swore to myself that I would never do that to my own child. So I had a vasectomy. It didn't even occur to me that I was doing it nonetheless - to the children the Order stole. That was until Ren showed me that little ginger boy.” He grimaced. “So in the end I was just like him.”


	21. Complicated

Rose let the words sink in. No wonder that he had so a low self-esteem, everything in his life was tainted, toxic even. Until he chose to become a Resistance spy of course.

“You can’t change your past, but you can choose a different future,” she said. “You already did by helping us. You can choose to be different than your father.”

He pulled the corners of his mouth down. “It took me too long. I’m not like Captain Finn who knew right from wrong even though he had been raised by the Order. And I didn’t become a spy out of the goodness of my heart.” He straightened his parka and brushed snowflakes from his shoulders. “I was frustrated because Ren demoted me, because he was more focussed on Sith relics than bringing order to the Galaxy, I hated him and I wanted him to lose. The boy… the boy was just the last straw.”

“I don’t believe that, if you were just a hateful man you wouldn’t have been this nice or compassionate. You think that your father would’ve fed Millie? Or that he would’ve bothered with small talk?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Listen, I don’t pretend that this makes the horrible stuff you did go away. But you have to start somewhere, don’t you? You can’t wait for some big heroic chance to save the galaxy. The small stuff means something too.”

“And you think a child will make up for something too?”

“No, it won’t. It’s not his or her job to make up for anything. What I’m saying is that you need to think about this carefully. It’s impossible to know what will happen, all we can do is do what we think is right.”

Hux had a pensive look on his face. “You are correct, we need to think this carefully through.”

Rose shivered. “Come on, let’s head back before we freeze to death out here.” She went to him and gave him a kiss. “We’ll be alright.”

He gave her his usual half-smile, she got the feeling that he wasn’t sure if he should believe her.

Having talked about it made Rose much calmer as they stomped back to the base. There was no need to panic, she told herself over and over again. They talked about it and now they just had to let the news settle in. And what better way was there than to work the rest of the day?

They both worked as efficiently as always, for a few hours her mind was taken off their predicament and they could focus on good, clean tech - things that were easy to fix. In the afternoon her mother showed up, putting a plate of sliced fruit in front of Hux while staring her dead in the eye. Rose sighed but she was too preoccupied to say anything. Hux on the other hand seemed thrilled, although he only ate a third of what was actually on the plate.

She wondered what her mother would say about her having a baby. Scratch that, she wondered what all of them would say. And she couldn’t blame them - but to her it still made sense. She liked being with him, she wished they didn’t have to exchange hidden kisses and creep around the base to visit each other.

But then again… what was stopping them? It was their… her decision to keep it a secret. She stared at her pad without being able to read a single line.

It was all part of the same complex problem. She wanted to be with him but didn’t want anybody to know because it was kriffing General Hux she had fallen in love with. Even with or without the pregnancy - what was her plan? To keep sneaking around until somebody uncovered the truth like Finn had? Or to wait for a couple of years until the big reveal?

She knew the answer of course. She just had to admit it. It was her life and her body - she wasn’t supposed to care what others think about her… but it wasn’t that easy.

Stars! She kind of wished she could talk to Leia about it - her advice had nudged her in the right direction before. But she couldn’t just show up in the General’s office and pour her heart out, could she?

“Rose?” said Hux.

She looked up from her pad. “Huh?”

“Do you think you could ask Master Rey to lend us her lightsaber for scans?” He cleared his throat. “I would ask her myself but I think it would appear, uh, less suspicious if the request came from you.”

“Of course, I think I’ll go right now. I’m still kind of mulling everything over and walking a bit helps me clear my head.” She deactivated her pad and grabbed her parka. Rey was probably outside training.

“Alright, I think I’ll go for a cup of tea in the meanwhile.”

Rey was indeed training, not outside but in a small corner of one of the hangars where she had gathered small weights and a bar to do pull-ups.

She was hanging from the bar head down while trying to move a weight with the Force. When she saw Rose she made an elegant spin and jumped off the bar.

“Hi Rose! Wanna train?”

Rose laughed. “You really think I could do even one pull-up? You flatter me.”

“I think you’re a lot tougher than you give yourself credit for.” Rey took a towel and wiped over her face.

That gave Rose pause. Did Rey really think she was tough? That was something coming from the fiercest warrior she had ever met. She could feel herself blush a little. “Uh, thanks I guess. So, listen, I have a request… would you lend me your lightsaber? Hux and I have an idea and it would help us if we had more data.”

She picked her hands and watched Rey, she would probably frown and ask her what for she needed her precious, sacred Jedi weapon and then-

“Sure, no problem,” Rey unclipped the lightsaber hanging from her belt and threw it to Rose.

She caught it awkwardly and stared at it with eyes wide open. “R-really?”

“I trust your judgment, Rose. If you think this will help you, you can have it for your tests. Just don’t open it, the core balance is a bit fragile.”

Rose gaped at her. Just like that? She really trusted her judgement so much? Suddenly she felt bad that she was keeping secrets from her friend. “Well, if- if you say so.”

“What is it, Rose?” Rey asked with a furrowed brow.

Should she just tell her? Force knew that she wanted to… “I’m pregnant,” she said before she could stop herself. But just saying these words made her feel lighter, as if a heavy blanket was weighing her down and she had just pulled it down a bit.

Rey beamed at her. “Congratulations!” Then she said a little quieter. “Congratulations are in order, aren’t they? Back on Jakku there always was a big feast.”

Rose smiled a little. It felt good seeing somebody being truly happy for her. Even if she herself wasn’t certain if it really called for a feast. “It’s complicated.”

“Why is it complicated?”

“I’m not sure if I should keep it. Don’t you have some sage Jedi advice for situations like these?”

“Believe it or not, Jedi aren’t good with pregnancies. From what I hear getting a woman pregnant caused Anakin Skywalker to become a Sith.”

“Ah yes, there is that,” said Rose with a chuckle.

“Leia once said to me that Jedi were too dogmatic anyway. She told me to listen to my heart. So whatever you decide you just need to follow your heart.”

Rose sighed. “That’s what kind of got me in this mess. I mean… it wasn’t a mistake but-”

“It’s complicated.”

“Aren’t you curious who the father is?”

Rey shrugged. “Men are overrated in these matters. It’s the mother that counts - at least it was in Jakku. That’s why all inheritances were passed down along matrilinear lines, sometimes it was hard to know who the father was but it was always pretty clear who the mother was. From what I hear it’s different in some parts of the Galaxy.”

“That’s true, well-”

“It’s Hux, isn’t it?” asked Rey nonchalantly.

Rose gaped at her for a second time. “How did you know?”

“I felt it whenever you talked to each other or looked at each other, there was a lot of affection in the Force. A Jedi can sense the budding flower of lo-”

“Finn told you, didn’t he?” asked Rose dryly.

Rey slumped her shoulder. “Yes, yes he told me pretty much the day he found out. I’m sorry. He asked me not to tell anybody.” Rey smiled at Rose. “But what I said about Jakku is true. I still think we should throw a party.”

Rose put the lightsaber in her bag. “I appreciate it, but I want to keep this private. Besides, I don’t even know if I will keep it.” Again she picked her hands. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“What did you think when Finn told you - I mean, honestly.”

Rey put the towel down and sat cross-legged on a crate. “Honestly? Well, I was surprised. I mean it was obvious that the two of you were getting along and that you made a good team. It just didn’t occur to me that you two would actually hook up.”

Rose looked down on her hands. “What- what would you say if I told you that- uh, well, I would like to be with him. Do you think that the others would think that I’m insane?”

Rey put her hand on Rose’s shoulder. “Oh, Rose, of course you’re insane.”

“What?”

“Love is insanity, is it not?”

“That’s not what I was hoping to hear.”

“I know, but what am I supposed to say? That’s okay? It’s Hux we’re talking about.” She leaned back. “In the end it’s your decision. My advice: Stop waiting for somebody to give you permission to do what you really want to do.”

Rose stopped picking her hands. Rey was right. If she was being honest she already knew what she wanted to do. Deep in her heart she knew that she wanted to keep the child and also be together with Hux. That was not the decision she wasn’t sure about. It was when she was supposed to tell her friends and her mother about it.

Hux sat in the Cantina and drank his tea. He thought about returning to the lab but he felt that he was too distracted to work efficiently. In the past few hours he caught himself more than usual staring at Rose.

She really said that she could imagine growing old with him. The thought never even occurred to him - but now that he thought about it he hadn’t even been sure that he would live past 40. Let alone that he would find anybody who actually enjoyed his company.

Rose was right… like always. They weren’t dreamers, they’d seen what the galaxy was like. They knew that luck could and would change eventually.

What were the chances that the vasectomy didn’t work? Slim to none. He needed to get to the bottom of it - it was something he could apply logic to.

He could always rely on logic. He exhaled and leaned back in his chair. There were basically two options for the first dilemma: Either they got rid of it or not. Second dilemma: They could stay together or not.

Assumption 1: If they-

“Is this seat taken?”

Hux blinked and saw Captain Finn standing in front of him, holding a mug of caf in his hand.

“Uh, no. It’s free, please sit down.”

“You know I thought about leaving you alone but the way you were frowning and staring into empty space told me that you’re mulling over something. So, want to talk about it?”

Hux sighed. “No, thank you.”

“Fair enough.”

They sat in silence for a few moments, then Finn cleared his throat. “Okay, I can’t take it. It’s about Rose, isn’t it?”

“What makes you think that?” whispered Hux wide-eyed.

“Because your Sabacc face sucks when it comes to emotional stuff. And there is the fact that you two obviously had an argument - why else did she skip lunch and dinner so many times?”

Hux groaned. “It’s complicated.” He got up. “If you’ll excuse me.”

He left before Finn had a chance to reply.

In the evening he lay in his bed, thinking. As far as he could see he’d gone through every possible option. He analyzed every fact, taken into account what kind of results he expected from which option. Statistically speaking it was unlikely that he would ever meet an amazing woman like Rose again, and it was much less likely that said woman would fall for him - even if she had some lapse of judgement. So the facts were quite clear- oh, who was he kidding? This wasn’t about arguments or logic.

He wanted to be with her - plain and simple. And yes, he was terrified, overwhelmed and at the same time curious what would happen if she decided to keep the child.

Perhaps- perhaps the child was nothing like him? The thought made him calmer. Her genes were bound to be more dominant than his, weren’t they?

He chewed on his lower lip. It was impossible for the child to be like him, not with a woman like Rose, right?

The next morning he waited until they went for their usual break. They stepped outside with their teas in their hands and went to the tree trunks. He glanced around - nobody was to be seen.

“Have you thought about it?” he asked in a low voice.

“Yes, I barely slept to be honest. I kept mulling it over again and again.” She blew on her hot steaming tea. “When I’m not panicking I know what I want.”

He could feel that his hands started to sweat. “It’s a difficult question, right?”

She smacked her lips. “Kriffing difficult.”

He straightened his back and lifted his chin. “I- I want to be with you. I don’t care if it’s a secret. And I’m curious about the child… so…”

Her eyes went wide. “You really want me to keep it?”

His throat laced up. “Not if you don’t want to of course. I mean, I know that-”

“I’m sorry, I was just surprised. I thought that you didn’t want it.”

“I admit that I’m still overwhelmed and scared. But I would like to keep it, yes.”

She looked at him, blinking away tears. “Stars, I want to kiss you so badly.”

He smiled sadly at her. “Me too. But we have to wait.”

She sobered up a bit and averted her gaze to the snow-covered ground. “I’m sorry that I’m too much of a coward to simply admit it to my friends.”

He took a sip of his tea. “It’s alright.”

She frowned. “No, it’s not. It’s not fair to you. I’ll tell them… eventually. I just- I don’t know. I just don’t know how to say it.”

“Really, I’m fine with it.”

She exhaled and looked up to the sky. He followed her gaze and watched snowflakes slowly falling down from the grey sky.

“You can lie about it, if you want to. About who the father is I mean,” he said in a soft voice. “I- I really don’t mind.”

She took his hand. “Armitage… don’t say that. It gives me the impression that you’re ashamed that it’s yours.”

He jerked his head around. “No, no of course I’m not - how could I? It’s just- complicated.”

They both looked back up to the sky and fell silent.

When she visited him that night, they were both hasty and greedy with their kisses and their touches.

Hux nibbled at her neck and kissed his way down to her beautiful tits, further down to her slightly bulging belly, kissing it while his right hand wandered down between her legs. She moaned as he brushed her folds and spread her legs. She was already quite wet when he began to massage her clit.

He crawled off the bed and pulled her towards the edge of the bed, he leaned down and started to suck her while slowly working his way in with two fingers. He quickly found the pace she liked and within minutes she clamped around his fingers as she came.

“Stars, that felt good,” she panted.

His cock was still hard and aching from the lack of attention when he positioned himself between her legs, pushing in.

“Wait, let’s turn around,” she said and he quickly crawled on the bed, eager to feel her around his dick. He lay down and she settled on him, using her left hand to direct his leaking cock into her hot and wet pussy.

Hux gruned when she had lowered herself and grabbed her by her hips, starting to thrust in blind arousal. She throned over him, moving along with his quick pace, her full breasts were in his sight, so was her belly, her jet-black silky hair and her eyes- like hot plasma in the darkness of space. She looked like a fierce goddess.

He came within moments, ecstasy was searing through his body as she kept riding out his orgasm.

She leaned down and kissed him before she pulled back, causing his now flaccid cock to slide out of her. She got up and started to dress.

“Please, stay,” he panted, still coming down from his climax. “Just for a bit.”

She laughed. “It’s a mess, you hate it when there’s a mess.”

“Please, just for a while,” he repeated, fully aware how pathetic he sounded, how needy.

She stilled her movement and finally she slipped back into the bed. She snuggled up to him while he embraced her, burying his face in her neck.

They lay for a while next to each other without talking, then she took his hand and kissed his wrist. “I noticed your scars a while ago. Was it your father?”

“It’s a long story.”

“I don’t mind long stories.”

He exhaled, pulling her closer. “He thought that disciplining me would make me more tough. At least that’s what I used to think. But I suspect that he was just a bully.”

“I had this school friend… I think her mother hit her. Sometimes I visited her house to play or to do homework.” She could still see the small, dark yellow painted house before her inner eye. “The whole atmosphere changed when her mother came home from work. She would yell at my friend for not doing homework, for not doing dishes… there was just no pleasing her.” She turned around to face Hux. “I think you’re right. Some people are just bullies.”

“You know what was odd? My father never spoke of his parents, he didn’t even have a picture. It was as if they had never existed… kind of how I pretend now that he and my step-mother never existed.”

She ran her hand through his hair. “Who knows what kind of people they were?”

He didn’t reply, instead he turned around and let her snuggle up to him, enjoying her warmth and comfort.


	22. Means to an End

The next couple of days were quite busy for Rose. She and Hux were absorbed by countless repairs as well as finalizing their project so that they could finally present it to Leia.

Rose checked her notes one last time before she grabbed her pad and headed to her office. They decided that Hux should stay back, seeing as this wasn’t an unproblematic project in itself.

Leia smiled at her when she awkwardly knocked at the door frame to her office.

“Rose! Please come in.”

“Gen- uh, Leia, thank you for seeing me.” She stepped inside the office, holding her pad in a tight grip.

“Of course, tea?”

“No, thank you.” She gulped and sat down on the chair right in front of Leia’s desk. “I’m a bit nervous and I would like to talk about our idea first. That’s - that’s why I’m here after all.”

Leia’s smile faded a little. “‘Our’ idea? I take it that you and General Hux came up with something? I’m a bit surprised that he isn’t here.”

“We thought it’d be better if I talked to you first.” Rose cleared her throat. She just had to make her pitch before Leia could object. She put a portable holo on her desk.

“This,” she activated the holo, “is a boarding device. It will attack the bridge of any First Order vessel, cut through the durasteel with a high-powered laser and release plasma bombs to incinerate the command center. According to Hux there’s bound to be confusion if the bridge crew is killed in a first-wave attack. Enough for us to flee from any encounter or maybe even counterattack their weak points.”

Leia’s smile was now completely gone. “What kind of high-powered laser would be able to cut through all these layers of steel?”

She could feel herself pale. “Uh, well… if we used a kyber crystal based laser it would be strong enough. It’s like a lightsaber and will melt through anything given enough time.”

“Now I see why General Hux isn’t presenting this himself. It was his idea, wasn’t it?”

“We worked on it together, but the initial idea was actually mine.”

Leia sighed. “It’s a difficult moral dilemma you’re putting me in. We’re at war, and we’re at a disadvantage. But should we really capitalize on that technology? That’s Starkiller tech, isn’t it?”

“Yes.” She licked her lips. “Its power is undeniable, it’s not good or bad per se, it’s just a means to an end.”

Leia’s smile returned. “Just like General Hux himself.”

“That’s not what I-”

“You’re right of course. For all my grand speeches I asked his advice on tactical matters, I invited him to work alongside you to bring down the Order. I thought about this a great deal since he arrived here. Am I a hypocrite for using his talents for our gain?”

Rose wasn’t sure if it was a rhetorical question so she remained quiet.

“I honestly don’t know,” continued Leia. “We all know that he is a weapons engineer, so what else but weapons is he supposed to build for us? It would be reckless not to employ all our means to win the fight against evil, but where do we draw the line?” She leaned back in her chair. “I’m sorry, I’m rambling. That’s my job, isn’t it? To make the hard decisions.”

Leia was right, it was a tough call. But she didn’t have to shoulder the responsibility alone, did she? “What about a vote?”

Leia crooked an eyebrow. “A vote?”

“Yes, who said that you have to make all the decisions alone? Why not ask everybody and make it a majority vote? I mean, I get that we’re a military unit and that we need somebody to be in charge, but then again… we’re not the First Order. We should trust our people to make the right decisions.”

“You make an excellent point, Rose.” Leia chuckled. “Perhaps I’m getting too comfortable being in command.”

Rose put the holo out. “One last thing: if we were to build the boarding droid we would need kyber crystals. Perhaps we would have to return to Starkiller base to get some.”

“I’m aware, Rose. But first I need to think about it - and whether to put this to vote like you suggested.”

Rose cleared her throat. “Well, I-”

“Is there anything else you want to ask me?”

What an odd way to phrase the question. But then again she was Force sensitive, she must have caught on her feelings, her uncertainty. It was tempting to ask for her advice, to tell her what she and Hux had decided. “I-” she broke off. No, not now. “No, that’s all. Thank you for your time, Leia.”

The next day Leia announced a speech and asked all members of the Resistance to attend. Rose realised that it was going to be about the vote the moment Leia asked her and Hux to join her.

They all met in one of the hangars, Poe helped Leia on a crate so that everybody could see her. Rose and Hux were standing beside her.

“My dear friends and comrades,” began Leia. “I address you today not to bore you with a speech about the importance of our fight - we all know what’s at stake. We all have sacrificed so much to get where we are today. We all know that the First Order and Kylo Ren need to be stopped.” She made a pause. “Today I stand before you not because of the battle ahead of us but because this is a fight about our hearts as well.”

Rose could feel the palms of her hands got sweaty. She rubbed them on her trousers.

Leia smiled. “Today I require your advice about the course of our actions. Rose, please.”

Quiet murmuring rang through the hangar when Leia stepped down, again aided by Poe and Rose stepped on the crate. She activated her holo and enlarged the picture of the boarding droid.

“Hux and I developed a new weapon,” she said and the murmuring became a little louder. She inhaled and continued with her explanations. The room was deadly silent, when she offered her closing remarks: “As you can see the question we need to think about is if we should utilize Starkiller technology or not.”

She jumped down and had to suppress the urge to look at Hux. Stars, she really wished she could take his hand now!

“I decided that we hold a vote tomorrow, same place and same time. Are there any questions you want to ask?”

A few hands went up in the air.

Leia nodded. “Captain Espri, please.”

“Uh, thank you. Is there any way to use the boarding droids without Starkiller technology?”

“Maybe, but so far we haven’t come up with anything. My personal take is that with our meager resources we can only use them with this tech,” replied Rose in a loud voice.

A few questions followed concerning the tech itself and then it was Mircah’s turn to pose a question.

Rose could feel her hackles rise. There was little doubt in her mind that he would address Hux.

“Why hasn’t Hux said anything? It’s his idea, so why doesn’t he talk? Why don’t you stand on that crate and tell us about the ‘fierce machine’ you built?” he said in an angry voice.

Hux glanced at her before he stepped on the crate. Whispers swept through the room. Rose could feel herself getting nervous, how was Hux supposed to answer that?

“The reason why I didn’t speak is simple: I don’t have your trust - and why should I? It’s as you said, I built Starkiller, I was its architect. But the question is not if you want to trust me, the question is if you want to capitalize on my knowledge or not.”

His crisp Imperial accent echoed through the room, he was obviously used to talking to people. Rose pressed her lips together, the irony that he would once again stand on a platform and advocate a laser weapon was not lost on her.

Hux stepped down and clasped his hands behind his back, posture stiff.

Leia spoke once again, “An addendum: I would like two people presenting pros and cons of using Starkiller tech tomorrow before the vote. Who wants to participate?”

Mircah lifted his hand. “I would like to participate.”

Leia smiled and nodded. “Very good, which side do you want to argue for?”

Why did she even ask? It was pretty clear that he was against-

“I would like to argue the pros.”

What? She narrowed her eyes. She had not seen that one coming.

Espri lifted her hand. “Then I will take the cons.”

“Excellent,” said Leia. You can both present your case tomorrow. You can come and ask questions of either of us if it helps your case. Thank you all for coming!”

People dispersed and Rose headed for Captain Mircah. Judging from her expression earlier she wanted to talk to him about his decision to argue for the weapon. It had been surprising, it seemed that he was a lot more reasonable than they had thought.

“Mircah, can I talk to you for a sec?”

He pulled his nose up. “Yeah, sure.”

Rose cleared her throat. “I- uh, I was surprised to hear that you wanted to do the pros. I thought that you wouldn’t want to use Hux’s expertise to-”

“I don’t approve of him being here, but I’m a realist, Rose. Back on Crait we were with our backs to the wall - literally - nobody came to save us. We can’t rely on the rest of the galaxy. We can only rely on us to get the job done.”

He glanced at Hux and pulled the corners of his mouth down. “We can’t get squeamish now, we’re already using the cannons you guys updated. So where’s the difference to some boarding drone? The decision was made the moment we utilized Hux.”

He nodded at them and left.

Hux watched him leave and then directed his attention to Rose. She looked worried. “What is it?”

She exhaled. “He’s right of course. It just feels odd that he would agree with us.”

“Do you think they will vote to use it?”

“I think so. I mean we’ve been transparent and we all know that we need the weapon. In a perfect galaxy we wouldn’t have to do it… but in the real world it would be reckless not to use it.”

He agreed, but it was still odd to think that the Resistance would accept Starkiller technology.

Hux sat outside on the snow covered tree trunk and watched Millie devour her food. It started to snow and he pulled the hood of his parka up. He heard steps coming towards him, it wasn’t Rose of course - he would recognize her gait.

He turned around and saw Captain Ebrima coming closer. She slowed her steps a bit when she realised that he was looking at her.

She scanned the vicinity and discovered the Loth-cat. She frowned a bit and sat down on a trunk across from him. “I have questions, Hux.”

“Is it about the boarding droid, Captain Ebrima?”

“In a way.” She paused. “Do you think we can win the war without them?”

He crooked his eyebrow. “Theoretically, yes. It’s just one tool among others. However… it’s certainly going to help if it works.”

She looked down on Millicent, but it was as if she was not really seeing the animal. “It’s important to Rose, isn’t it?”

He frowned. “I don’t follow.”

“I’m not sure how to put this - but she is going around in the base and tries to convince people to vote her way. She seems so- so intense.” She looked up. “I’ve never seen her like this. And I kind of thought-” she broke off.

“You thought I’m behind it,” he said. Millie had finished eating and jumped on his lap. He petted her and she started to purr.

She scoffed. “I hoped you were behind it. But truth to be told… you’re so different from the guy I saw in the holos that I already knew that you’re not masterminding this.”

“Rose is too pig-headed to be manipulated anyway, don’t you think?”

She exhaled, a cloud of breath formed in front of her mouth. “She is.”

The holos and his speeches had really made a lasting impact it seemed. Even though it was a rather plump propagandistic instrument.

“She just wants the war to end,” said Hux. “I don’t think that you have to worry about her.”

“With all due respect, but you don’t get it. We all want the war to end but Rose, she seems almost desperate now. And we need to be patient, we can’t just win a war of his magnitude in a matter of months.” She sighed. “You of all people know that.”

He frowned. “Shouldn’t you talk about this to Rose? Why tell me?”

“Because she is - as already stated - too damn pig-headed. I tried to tell her but she was too busy. And I think you’re one of the few people who she actually listens to.”

Millie nudged his hand, he had forgotten to pet her. He quickly continued to scratch her behind her ears. “I don’t think-”

“Ugh, I don’t know what to do, okay? But you’re there, you work with her every day. So, just make sure she knows when to stop.” She exhaled. “And yes, I’m aware of the irony that I’m asking you. But you care about her, don’t you?”

This again! Well, he was prepared. “Uh, yes. I admire her skills and I like working with her,” he said in a calm measured voice.

She stared blankly at him. “You’re into her. Stars, it’s so obvious the way you look at her during lunch.”

Blood rushed up his cheeks and he stuttered. “No, that’s- that’s not true.”

“No worries, your secret is safe with me,” she continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “All I’m asking is that you keep an eye out so that she doesn’t burn out.”

“Burn out?” he asked flabbergasted.

“Yeah, well - you know, that she doesn’t work herself to death. She needs to relax from time to time. She’s too intense”

Hux had no idea what Ebrima was going on about. “But work is important and she has a fantastic work ethic… why should I stop her from being productive?”

Ebrima pinched the back of her nose. “Kriff, don’t tell me that you’re one of those workaholics too?”

“Are you referring to work-free time?” he asked with a furrowed brow.

She threw her hand in the air. “Stars, this is going nowhere.” She got up from the trunk. The sudden movement startled Millie and she bolted back into the forest. “Just talk to her, okay? Try to figure out why she’s so obsessed with the boarding droid.”

Ebrima marched away, the freshing fallen snow crunching under her boots.

Later that evening he found Rose in the lab, working on one of her side projects - a way to recycle heat more efficiently. When she saw him she beamed at him. “Hi! I hoped you would show up - I could need some help with the calibrations.”

“Of course.” He joined her at the workbench and started his scans. “I heard that you were talking to people about the vote tomorrow.”

She looked up from the power converter with a surprised expression on her face. “Well, I think it’s pretty important. Don’t you?”

“Of course, but I assume that the logic speaks for itself.”

She put her hand on his arm and gave it a firm squeeze. “It’s too important to leave it to chance. If they turn it down they will question our next project too.”

“I’m aware but it’s complicated because of Starkill-”

“People are dying because of the war! We need to end it as fast as possible,” she said forcefully. “The sooner we get rid of Kylo Ren the better! We’re already fighting the war without Canto Blight, we need this!” She let go of his arm and ran her hand through her hair. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you. I’m a bit nervous about the vote tomorrow.”

Was this what Captain Ebrima had been talking about? “I understand, but even if they vote against it, there will be other opportunities.”

“I know. But it isn’t supposed to be so hard. I want it to be easy, just this once.”

He took her hand and rubbed it with his thumb. “Your friends are worried about you.”

She sniffled. “What has this to do with anything?”

“Captain Ebrima thinks that you’re overworking yourself,” he said slowly, insecure of how to proceed. It was certainly best to just tell the truth. “She asked me if I, well, if I had anything to do with you being so focussed on tomorrow's vote.”

Rose groaned. “Why the kriff does everybody think that this is some sinister plan? We were as transparent as possible.”

“I didn’t quite get why she was worried at all,” Hux said. “You’re not tired, are you?”

“No, otherwise I wouldn’t be here, right?” She shrugged. “Besides, we’re not really working. This is only small stuff,” she gestured towards the power converter.

“It is, and it’s only 21:15, it’s not even that late.”

She put her hands on her hips. “Yeah! We can work at least two hours more.”

He smiled at her. “Of course.” Ebrima had been worried for nothing, it seemed. Light work right before going to sleep was relaxing after all.


	23. Vote of Confidence

The time of the vote drew near and Rose felt that she was getting nervous again. She sat on a crate in the back of the hangar as Mircah and Espri were getting ready. Espri was going through his notes, apparently having prepared a speech. Mircah was visibly relaxed and chatted with a friend - he didn’t have notes. Stars! Why didn’t he have notes?

Finally Espri got up on the crate that served as a stage.

“We all know why we’re here,” he began. “It’s about the question whether we want to use Starkiller related technology or not. At first glance it seems an easy question, isn’t it? We have a war to win, we have to rid the galaxy of an undeniable evil. But we are more than just an army, we incorporate _hope_ \- hope that things, that people can be better. In my humble opinion that means that we have to keep our high standards, our morals and yes, our souls.”

He looked around in the hangar, letting his words sink in.

“Some of you might think that we can use the tech because it’s not Starkiller. We’re not wiping out planets, we’re fighting against military combatants. But that’s the way away from our ideals, because where are we supposed to stop? Today we will use a little piece of Starkiller tech to incapacitate destroyers, tomorrow we will use it to annihilate dreadnaughts and the day after that we will use it to raze Canto Bight to ground - for we are just, aren’t we?” He paused again.

“Yes, we know what is right and what is not, don’t we?” He raised his voice. “We will win this war, we will make sure that the First Order never raises from its ashes. They are evil people, and everybody who supports them needs to see the errors of their ways!” He clenched his hand to a fist and continued with a loud voice. “Dozens of government are supporting the First Order, enabling their terror! But we will not stand idly by! We will bring an end to the First Order! To their cherished fleet! All remaining systems will bow to us! Because we are justice! We restore proper order in the galaxy! And may the Force help everybody who stands in our way!” Espri panted at the end, having screamed the last few words.

Rose could feel a shudder run down her spine. Espri had skilfully turned his lesson about morality into a chilling First Order speech. There was a deafening silence in the hangar. She gulped, it was a slippery slope, wasn’t it? Where were they supposed to draw the line? She straightened her back. Well, they still had a war to win.

Espi stepped down and Mircah climbed on the crate.

“Wow, that gave me goosebumps,” Mircah said. “I admit that I just wanted to point out the need for weapons to actually win the war but Espri just took this to a new level, didn’t he?” He cleared his throat. “I wish I could promise you that we won’t turn into the Empire or the First Order, but I can’t. But I can tell you this: we can’t win this war without something to counter the Order’s fleet.” He lifted his chin. “It sucks, and stars I’m angry that we need to rely on Starkiller tech - that we listen to General kriffing Hux,” he hissed.

“But guess what? That ship has already sailed. Apart from the fact that we’re fighting in a war - a bloody, merciless war - and that we already have blood on our hands; apart from that we went down that road when we started to rely on the spy.” He grimaced. “We’re already listening to Hux, and as much as it pains me to say it: without him this hangar would be much less crowded. So, are we supposed to stop listening because of a piece of Starkiller tech? I don’t know, I’m just a dumb pilot. But here is a thing I know: we will _lose_ if we deny ourselves a possible way to victory on the tiny possibility that sometimes in the far future things will take a turn for the worse.”

He inhaled deeply. “I say we fight today and worry tomorrow.”

Mircah stepped down and Poe helped Leia up.

“Thank you both for your passion,” she said. “You will find a message on your comms with a link to an anonymous survey. Please vote now.”

Rose checked her comm and activated the link to the survey. ‘Use the boarding droid: yes or no?’

She voted yes and exhaled. They got to vote ‘yes’, didn’t they? Espri had made an excellent point but they all knew what was at stake.

“Thank you, we will display the result right away,” said Leia after a few moments.

Behind her a portable holo activated and two beams appeared, one was titled ‘no’ and the other ‘yes’.

Rose’s breath faltered when they started moving upwards - a few seconds later she exhaled: 87% had voted ‘yes’.

“A clear answer,” said Leia. “Rose, please start with the preparations right away.”

Rose nodded and felt uncomfortable when all eyes turned her way.

“Where were you?” she asked when she found Hux in the lab. “I almost bit my finger nails off.”

He looked exhausted. “I was in the back, trying to blend in. I wasn’t keen on the attention - especially after Captain Espri’s speech.”

“It was a powerful speech, that much is true.” She put her hand on his shoulder and rubbed them a bit.

He put his hand on hers. “There are days where I almost forget… but I will never really escape my deeds. I recognized the words when he said them and it made me feel cold and for a moment I could smell the burnt wood, hear the high-pitched humming of the kyber power cells.”

What was she supposed to say to that? It was true, wasn’t it? She licked her lips. “You can try to make the galaxy a better place.”

He took her hand, led it to his mouth and kissed it. “I’ll certainly try. But I’m afraid that this notion led me down the wrong path once before.”

“This time you’re not alone. Together we can do it.” She leaned down and gave him a quick kiss. “We need to plan a trip to Starkiller base to get the kyber crystals.”

His eyebrow rose. “‘We’? They’re actually letting me go?”

Damn, she hadn’t even thought about the possibility that they wouldn’t let him off the base. “Uh, well I mean it would make sense, no? We’re the ones building the thing and you’re the expert on Starkiller.”

He nodded. “Of course, but it would arouse certain suspicions, don’t you think?”

“Let’s go to General Organa tomorrow. Either way we need to prepare for the trip. We need a list of what we need to get the crystals.”

He bit his lip. “I went to see Dr. Kalonia.”

She blinked. “Huh? What for? Are your old injuries hurting?”

“No, I’m fine.” He gulped. “I know now how it could happen.” He directed his gaze towards her belly.

She hadn’t even thought about it anymore, not since they had decided to keep it. “Ah,” was all she managed.

“The only explanation were the nanobots who mended my scars. They must have wandered from the upper leg to the uh, groin. They fixed me a little too well.”

She started to pick her nails. “Does Dr. Kalonia know?”

“I didn’t say what it was about but I assume that she put one and one together. She seemed distracted though… I’m sorry, but I needed to know.”

Rose sat down at her desk. “Are you having second thoughts?”

His eyes went wide. “No! No, I just- I just needed to know. I like being in control and this… it made me feel like I’m not even in control over my body.”

She continued picking her nails. She had avoided thinking about her pregnancy, there was so much else going on. The war, the boarding droid - stars, everything. But deep down she knew that she was just stalling. There would come a time where she couldn’t hide that she was with child.

“I get it, Armitage,” she said in a quiet voice. “Believe me, I do.”

She was being unfair to him by hiding their relationship. For all the times she told him how he was capable of being good, that she thought he was handsome and worth her affection… she couldn’t bring it over her to admit that she was with him.

Hux sat in the Cantina, staring at his pad. From time to time he took a sip of his already cold tea, absentmindedly noting that it was getting too bitter even for his tastes. Suddenly he felt a hand on his back, he straightened himself, the grip around the mug getting harder. It only lasted for a fraction of a second before he managed to relax.

Dameron slapped him lightly on the back before he sat down on the table. Hux frowned and suppressed an urge to tell him to sit properly on a chair.

“How are you, Hugs?”

Hux exhaled. “I’m fine, thank you, Commander Dameron.” Like an afterthought he added: “How are you?”

Dameron’s smile faltered for a moment. “I’m not doing so great, Hugs. Truth be told I’m quite on the fence.”

Hux blinked in surprise. He expected him to reply with ‘fine’ or some equivalent word. He leaned back in his chair and scanned Dameron’s face. Only now he noted that he looked tired, the stubble on his face more pronounced than usual.

“I thought your good mood was unflappable, Commander.”

Dameron slid off the table and sat down on the chair next to Hux, facing him. “It usually is, but not being able to fly is getting to me. I feel like a caged bird.”

Why was he telling this? Was it a means to pressure him to work faster and harder? “Rose and I are working on the boarding droids as fast as we can, Commander. I assure you-”

“Relax, Hugs. I just want to chat.”

“Why?” Hux asked, genuinely baffled.

Dameron shrugged. “I guess that’s what friends do.”

Hux pressed his lips together. “I appreciate the sentiment, but you don’t have to keep up the charade.”

“Charade?”

“It’s your way to lead people… being friendly that is. I respect the effectiveness of it but you don’t need to pretend to be my friend.”

Dameron gave him a lopsided grin. “Of course we’re friends, you think I would keep inviting you to all these huttball games if we weren’t?”

Hux frowned at him. Was he serious?

“See? I know exactly what you’re thinking right now: you’re about to analyze whether I’m making this up or not.” Dameron leaned closer. “Believe it or not, I actually like having you around - you’re funny with your dry wit. Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed? Why else would Finn and I have invited you over to our table the other night?”

Surely Dameron was joking. Yes, why would anybody save Rose enjoy his company? But Dameron looked serious, even with that insufferable smile of his.

“And you seemed to enjoy yourself quite a bit after the third whiskey,” Dameron continued. “So it’s official - we’re friends and that entitles me to come over and moan about being tired and having a shitty day.”

“Ah, I see,” Hux said haltingly. He liked the thought… that Commander Dameron and Captain Finn appreciated his presence. Dameron being Dameron exaggerated the sentiment, but he still appreciated it. “Thank you,” he said in a very quiet voice.

Dameron slapped him on the back. “You are welcome, Hugs.”

The _Millennium Falcon_ landed two weeks later on Ilum, or Starkiller base as Hux still thought of it. Captain Chewbacca and Commander Dameron exited the cockpit and joined Rose and Hux in the cargo bay.

“We landed about a kilometer from the collapsed command center,” said Dameron, “according to the sensors the ground is stable here.”

Chewbacca growled something Hux didn’t quite catch, it seemed he was commenting on seismic activity. He still had difficulty understanding Shyriiwook.

“Excuse me, I didn’t quite catch that Captain Chewbacca,” he said.

Chewbacca repeated slower and Hux nodded. “No seismic activities in the last hours? Good.”

Dameron grinned. “Getting there, Hugs. Give it another couple of weeks and you’ll be fluent.”

“I’m still confused about the superessive case and the prepositions. I think it will take longer than that.”

Rose smiled at him. “You’re catching on fast, I think Poe’s right.”

Hux forced himself not to return the smile. “I appreciate the sentiment, Sergeant Tico.”

Dameron grabbed his white parka. “We should get going - no sense in lingering here.”

Hux pressed his lips together, he was right of course. Just knowing that he was back here made his heart heavy.

The way from the ship to the nearest gorge was rather short. Hux estimated that it took them only about fifteen minutes before they stood at the gaping canyon left by the imploded base. He cautiously stepped close to the edge, seeing metal structures at the bottom, partly covered by snow and ice.

“If my estimates are correct we should be able to get to the crystals in the cave underneath the base by following this tunnel - provided they weren’t crushed by the seismic events occurred during-”

“How about we just have a look?” asked Dameron, already readying the ropes.

Captain Chewbacca growled, ‘ _I will keep watch_.’

Hux put on his harness. “I don’t think that will be necessary. It would be a waste of resources to watch over Starkiller base - it’s too big.”

‘ _There is a smell in the air, I don’t like it_.’

“Alright, Chewie,” said Rose, “if you think it’s better you can keep an eye out.”

Dameron, Rose and Hux abseiled themselves with the help of an automated hoist. Rose and Dameron were already down in the gorge when Hux touched down, it was dark and even colder than the surface, but perhaps it was because of his unease.

It felt like he was revisiting something from a long, forgotten past but it had been only three years ago.

They found a rather large crack in the structure and managed to enter a partly destroyed hallway.

Rose activated a flashlight droid which started to hover near her, illuminating the darkness. Hux and Dameron did the same and moments later the hallway was bathed in bright light.

Hux inhaled sharply when he noticed frozen, half-crushed remains of maintenance workers underneath a collapsed blast door.

“Stars,” whispered Rose.

“We need to get down here,” said Hux as he turned his gaze away.

“Lead the way,” said Dameron behind him, his voice was soft.

Hux marched down and climbed over debris and piles of ice and snow until he reached the emergency staircase in section B4. He opened it and they started to climb down in the innards of Starkiller.

About ten minutes later they finally reached the sub-levels. Hux looked around and tried to get his bearings in the crushed hallways and the deformed generators surrounding them. There was something somber about standing in the ruins of his grandest and most horrible design.

Behind him he could hear Dameron and Rose drawing closer.

“Are you alright?” asked Rose.

“It’s- it’s nothing,” he replied and marched on. There was nothing to say. At least he didn’t know what to say about the odd feeling of emptiness that took hold of him. All this time he thought that this was the peak of his skills and in the end it was nothing more than a death maschine. His legacy… death.

No, no that wasn’t everything. Rose said so, he could still make the galaxy a better place. Or at least he could try.

They were quiet when they made their way into the core of the crystal deposit. He stopped in front of a massive blast door and checked the keypad next to it. It was inoperable.

“This is it, the crystal cave is behind this door,” he said in a low voice. He didn’t know why he was almost whispering, the oppressive atmosphere made him feel like he was in a graveyard. And in a way he was.

Rose pulled her backpack from her back and took out a portable battery. About ten minutes later she had hooked up the controls to the battery and the lights on the keypad turned on.

Hux exhaled, a small cloud of breath escaped his lips. He leaned down to the keypad and entered his personal override code.

“Code Level 1 accepted,” said an automated male voice in a crisp Imperial accent. “Retinal scan required for Code Level 2.”

He lowered the hood of his parka and looked directly into the scanner above the keypad.

“Retinal scan complete. Welcome, General Hux. Long live the First Order.”

He glanced at Rose standing next to him and said, “Long live the First Order.”

“Code Level 3 accepted, voice recognized.”

Slowly the frozen door started to move. Hux straightened his back. “Some codes aren’t as plain as a number.” He licked his lips. “Sorry. I had to say it.”

Dameron had an unusual stern look in his eyes. “Of course.”

Rose put the battery back in her backpack. “We’re lucky that they didn’t think of erasing your profile from the system.”

Hux shrugged. “They probably didn’t think to do it on old bases.” Pryde really was sloppy, he thought. It made sense to erase all old access codes, always.

Beyond the door was a cave system with signs of mining, abandoned mining droids and carts were standing next to rubble.

“Okay, let’s find some crystals. What do they look like, Hugs?”

“They’re colourful crystals, rather easy to spot but we- the Order reharvested almost all of them.”

“Spread out, we’ll meet up in half an hour to check our progress,” said Dameron.

Exactly 31 minutes later they reconvened. They checked the content of their backpacks - each of them had gathered about a kilo worth of crystals.

“Not bad,” said Rose with a grin. “That should be enough for a start!”

“They might not all be pure enough for a weapon,” reminded Hux. “But it’s certainly enough to proceed with the project.”

“Alright, let’s head back. This place gives me the creeps,” said Dameron.

They returned to their ropes and put on their harnesses. They were half-way up when they heard the screeching sound of SFS P-s4 twin ion engines above them.

“What the-” began Dameron.

“TIE-Fighters!” yelled Rose. “We need to get out of here.”

Hux cursed under his breath. This was no accident that they had turned up - the codes! They hadn’t forgotten about his codes, they set a trap!

Dameron’s wrist holo activated and Hux could hear Chewbacca growl. He didn’t understand what he was saying over the noise but without doubt he had realised too that they needed to make a quick escape.

Dameron remotely sped up the automated hoist, it was still antagonizing slow as they were pulled up. When Hux finally reached the top, Dameron and Rose had already gotten rid of their harnesses and were pulling him up the last few meters.

Another TIE-fighter flew directly over them and fired, missing them only by centimetres.

“Run!” screamed Hux. “Run as fast as you can, Rose!”

Dameron grabbed her and pulled her away as Hux scrambled to get on his feet. From a distance he could already hear voices. He slipped out of the harness and followed Rose and Dameron with a couple of meters between them.

The TIE-fighter made another pass and shot again, hitting a fir tree right in front of them. Rose just managed to get past it before it fell down, cutting Dameron and him off from her.

They ran around the tree but the deep snow made it difficult to move fast and just before they could climb over the firn they were surrounded by Stormtroopers.

Hux saw how Dameron reached for his blaster before an excruciating pain shot through his body, making him lose consciousness.


	24. Rabid Cur

Rose barely made it to the _Falcon_ , as soon as Chewie saw her boarding, he closed the ramp and took off.

“Wait!” she screamed. “Wait! Poe and Armitage, they’re-”

 _‘They already have them! We need to get away while we still can!’_ replied Chewie and jumped to hyper-space before she could reply.

She stormed into the cockpit. “We- we need to go back!”

Chewie made a few double jumps to lose any TIE-fighters that may have followed them before he turned around. ‘ _Rose, you know we can’t. We need a plan first._ ’

She collapsed on the co-pilot chair and buried her face in her hands. Kriff! She knew of course, she knew that they couldn’t just rescue them. If only- if only she planned better, thought of a scenario like this! If only!

She could feel tears sting her eyes! She failed! She failed again! First Paige and now Poe and Armitage… she could feel hot tears run down her cheeks. They were in the clutches of the Order now. Ren would surely kill them!

She- she… she wiped the tears away. It wasn’t too late. She could still save them. Chewie was right, they needed to escape and then come up with a plan.

She gritted her teeth, and may the Force have mercy on Ren if he dared to lay a finger on Armitage. She clenched her hands to fists. She wouldn’t give up, she would come up with a plan!

The next couple of hours were the longest Rose had ever experienced, when they finally touched down in their home base she literally ran out of the ship, right into the command center.

Leia and all the senior advisers had already gathered and were apparently discussing the situation. Finn, Rey and Leia were talking with each other when she arrived.

Rose panted when she reached the round table. Her stomach hurt a bit and she was feeling ill from the running. She pressed her hand on her belly. She would check in with the doc later. “General Org- Leia! I- we-”

“Rose, we know. We are currently tracking them down.”

Her eyes went wide. “What? How? Did you use the tracker on Ren’s ship?”

Leia shook her head. “No, we implanted a tracking chip in General Hux’s leg when he arrived here.”

Of course! She remembered now, they even talked about it in their very first meeting with Hux! “Where are they?”

Rey pointed at a quadrant in the galaxy map displayed on the table. “The signal is coming from the Dromund System. According to our spies that’s where the new flagship of the Order is stationed.”

Rose could feel her mouth turning dry. “They’re taking them to Ren.”

“I think so too,” said Leia with a sad nod. “But that also means that we still have time to mount a rescue. Ren wouldn’t have them delivered to him only to- to kill them right away.”

“General, if I may,” said Rey.

“Of course.”

Rey licked her lips and took a deep breath. “In the past few weeks I tried to figure out Ren, why he’s doing what he does. I talked to Hux about it and something came up…” She exhaled. “I think he has deep resentment against people’s happiness. It was almost as if he enjoyed showing his victims that their dreams and hopes meant nothing.”

Finn frowned. “What makes you say that?”

“I have this connection with him I told you about... and he keeps showing me what he’s doing, he must feel that I’m watching him and he still acts like he wouldn’t register. And the things he does… it’s like a performance and I kind of expect him to turn around and smirk at me after each session. Ren made me lose my focus. He was doing the same with Hux, back when he was still in the Oder: showing him things that he knew would discourage him.”

Finn crossed his arms. “So Ren basically turned Hux into a spy because he kept frustrating him? Is that what you’re saying?”

Rose had caught her breath. “No, no I don’t believe that. Hux didn’t turn into a spy because Ren was provoking him!”

“Perhaps he helped him to make his decision with his behavior,” replied Rey. “And now he wants to show Hux and Poe that their resistance is for naught. So whatever he’s planning, I don’t think that he’ll rush it.”

“So you agree that we have time?” asked Leia with a hard line around her mouth.

“I can’t be sure but if we look at the trouble he went through to get his hands on them I think that he- that he’ll take his time.”

Rose could feel herself blanching. “We can’t leave them there, please. We need to get them out of there as fast as possible.”

“Of course we will, but we need a plan first,” replied Leia. “We can’t just storm the flagship, free two heavily guarded prisoners and escape just like that.”

“We did it before,” said Finn with a crooked eyebrow.

“That’s true, but we can’t keep relying on our luck. They must have increased the security after our last escape,” said Rey.

Kaydel Ko Connix appeared at Leia’s side. “General, we’re ready to evacuate.”

Leia smiled at her. “Thank you.” She turned to face the others. “First things first. We need to find a new place of operations. If Ren uses his powers on Hux or Poe there is a high possibility that he will find out where we are right now.”

Rose could feel an idea tugging at the edge of her mind. It was something Leia had said… yes, of course! “I think I have an idea,” she said slowly.

The other turned their attention at her. “I knew it, Rose!” said Finn. “You have come up with an idea to rescue them, haven’t you?”

“Yes, so - back on Crait we got away because Ren wanted to duel Master Skywalker, didn’t he?”

The others just nodded.

“So we know that he wants to get his hands dirty, that he likes crushing people’s hopes. Show them that everything’s futile - he’s a nihilist pure and simple. And he couldn’t resist an opportunity to show us and the galaxy that our idealism is meaningless.” She looked from Leia to Rey and Finn and back to Leia. “Ren will come here and we can use it to our advantage - we can set a trap of our own.”

“I see,” said Leia, “so you suggest that we pretend not to evacuate the base. But we still need to take on the firepower of the Order for the trap to function, even if we can distract Ren.”

Rose took her backpack and put it on the table. “I think we have everything we need.”

Rose entered the tech lab and leaned against the wall as soon as the door slid shut, for a moment it felt like all her strength had left her body. She slowly slid down until she sat on the floor.

She stared at the backpack and the glittering crystals in it. She had to keep calm and proceed with the plan. It was all she could do.

Moments later the door slid open and Finn appeared. He froze when he saw her sitting on the floor. “Rose, are you alright?” Then he sighed. “Sorry, stupid question.”

She leaned her head against the cool metal of the wall. “It’s alright. I just need to collect my thoughts for a moment.”

“It’s not alright! This- this asshole has Poe and-” Finn interrupted himself. “I know I’m not helping. I just came here to tell you that you can talk to me… you know… about Hux.”

Rose wiped over her face. “Thank you. But I don’t want to talk about it. Not now.” She sighed. “I know that you talked to Rey by the way.”

He sat down on Hux’s chair, looking crestfallen. “Sorry, but I just couldn’t keep it to myself. It was… no, I don’t have an excuse. Sorry.”

She looked down on her belly and ran her hand through her hair. “Did Rey tell you that I’m pregnant?”

His eyes went wide. “Uh… no. I guess she’s better at keeping secrets than I am.”

It felt like a cold, heavy layer of snow was taking hold of her heart. “Truth to be told we decided to keep it and I- I just kept postponing telling the truth about us. I thought we had time and I- I was scared what other people would think of me. What they think of him. And now he is gone - held captive by Ren, doing to him stars knows what.”

“Rose…”

She gulped. “And I was too much of a coward to admit that I love him.” She blinked tears away. “Instead I got obsessed with the boarding droids, I wasted my energy and my time convincing people that Armitage was useful but I- I really only wanted them to-” She sniffled.

Finn got up and sat down beside her, hugging her. “We’ll save them, alright? You will have all the time in the world to tell us about it.”

She sniffled and hugged him back.

Hux resurfaced from his unconsciousness, the first thing he registered was the harsh light shining in his face, then he heard slow buzzing in his face. He tried to swat it away only to discover that his hands were restrained.

A dull pain was lingering in his head when he finally came to his senses, registering that the light was from a lamp high above him and that he was bound to an interrogation rack. The humming next to his head stopped and the unseen droid flew away, from the corner of his eye he saw a dark metallic sphere but he didn’t recognize the model.

Starkiller… and now he was here. Dameron had been with him… but what about Rose? His heart began to beat faster. Had they all been captured?

She’d been in front of them, then the fir had fallen- she had gotten away, yes, she must have! The thought of her being taken captive, being strapped to an interrogation rack like himself was unbearable.

Suddenly he could hear a door slid open. It was the design of the room that the captive could never see the interrogator coming. His mouth felt dry. He witnessed enough interrogations to know that he wouldn’t last - he was as good as dead once they were finished with him.

A shiver ran down his spine when he heard Ren’s metallic breathing behind him. He set his lips to a thin line. So Ren would finish him off personally? The least he could do is not giving him the satisfaction to show fear.

“I guess I should feel honoured that you showed up yourself, Ren,” he said in the coldest voice he could muster. “But then again you were always prone to waste time with menial tasks, weren’t you?”

Ren appeared in Hux’s line of sight; he was wearing his mask and his usual tatty robe. “I’m disappointed, Hux. You looked like Rebel scum when we picked you up at Starkiller.”

Hux registered the use of the past tense but he wasn’t sure how to react to that and before he could muster an answer Ren spoke on.

“Did you think they wouldn’t know who you really are if you disguised yourself?”

Hux scoffed. “Is a masked man really lecturing me about disguises? You really have no sense of irony, do you?”

Ren tilted his head. “Irony is the weapon of the powerless. But you’re right of course, this mask is only a symbol. It shows what I have become, so it’s more of a statement than a disguise. You on the other hand… you pretend to be something you’re not.”

Hux opened his mouth to offer a biting retort but with a gesture of his hand his throat laced up and all he could do was croak.

“I’m not finished yet, General.” A large mirror was lowered from the ceiling, Hux’s eyes went wide when he saw his own reflection: he was clean-shaved with crisp sideburns and he was wearing his old uniform.

Ren leaned closer. “That’s what you are, what you will always be. You won’t ever change, you can’t ever change, Hux. You’re nothing but the mad son of a mad father - the rabid cur of the First Order.”

Hux could feel the pressure lifting from his throat. “Parlor tricks are all you’re capable of, Ren. I can change clothes, I can let my beard grow again.” Ren was planning something, just like when he showed him that ginger-haired boy. Probably wanting to humiliate him before he killed him off. “But knowing you, you probably think that only you are capable of change, that only you could change from Ben Solo to Kylo Ren. You think that only you exist and the others are supporting characters in your story.” He managed to sneer. “But you’re not special. The galaxy is full of sad little men who-”

His throat laced up again.

“You’re annoying, Hux. You were annoying when you were my co-commander, you were annoying when you were on my War Council. And you’re even more annoying since you joined the Rebel scum. It was your idea to disable the navigational shields, wasn’t it?” He sighed. “I know already it was you, you and that dark-haired engineer you’re so fond of.”

Hux tried his best to keep calm, but the way Ren casually mentioned Rose made it hard to keep his pulse from accelerating.

“Oh, you really like her, do you? Her and that bastard child you put in her belly.”

Hux struggled to say something but Ren’s hold was too strong.

“You really are your father's son, aren’t you? Knocking up some lowly broad.” He let go of Hux once again.

“I’m not like him!” Hux panted. He knew that he was playing Ren’s game but he couldn’t help himself. “I’m nothing like him!”

Ren reached up and unlocked his helmet and with a deliberately slow movement he took it off, revealing his youthful face with the dark scar across his face. “This is something I need to see with my own eyes.” There was no anger, no gloating visible on Ren’s face. He looked almost blasé.

He grabbed Hux’s jaw and forced him to look in the mirror hovering above him. “Don’t you see, Hux. You’re _just_ like him.” There was something in Ren’s voice that echoed through his mind, it was as if tiny voices were repeating Ren’s words, causing a cacophony of angry hisses.

“Shut up and kill me, Ren!” hissed Hux.

Ren stepped back and lifted his hands and pointed his fingertips towards Hux. “I need to make you understand, Hux. I need you to understand that you can only ever be General Hux.”

Hux could feel pressure building up in the back of his head, a dull throbbing pain started to take hold of him. The voices whispered incessantly, he could barely understand them. Imagines were pulled out of his mind and displayed, Hux kneeling in front of his father, picking up pieces of shattered glass, Hux in front of his father’s desk, looking down on the tip of his boots, Hux feeling a heavy hand on his neck. The swirl of memories slowed down and he saw his father in front of him, holding his black leather belt in his hand, the silver belt-buckle glistening in the cold light of his father’s office.

_‘Stupid boy.’_

_‘I’m sorry, fath- commander.’_

_‘Stop crying, boy. I swear if I hadn’t tested you I would seriously doubt that I could spawn something this pathetic.’_

_‘Please-’_

The black leather belt hissed through the air and Hux flinched before he could realise that it was only a memory.

An odd feeling was taking hold of him, as if someone was touching him on the inside with clammy, cold hands. “You know the truth, don’t you? You’re just like him. That’s what you will ever be,” whispered Ren in his ear.

The images in Hux’s mind began to change. Hux wasn’t standing in front of his father anymore, instead there was a small ginger boy standing in front of him. Hux looked down at his hands and saw that he was holding a black leather belt in his gloved hands.

 _‘I’m sorry, daddy,’_ the boy sobbed in a Core World accent.

 _‘Don’t you know that you are supposed to obey, silly boy?’_ Hux hissed in his own voice.

_‘Please-’_

Hux could feel the weight of the belt in his hand as he lifted it up in the air.

“Stop! Stop it!” he screamed on the top of his lungs. The image faded before his eyes.

Ren grabbed him again by his jaw. “Don’t you see, Hux? That’s your past and your future. You can struggle all you want but that’s who you are.”

“That’s not true! I would never-”

“But you already did, didn’t you? Don’t you remember?”

Ren was lying! He was starting to feel dizzy. Rose- Rose knew that he-

“-she knew what?” asked Ren with a furrowed brow. “Hmm? That you’re something to be ashamed of? Is that why she didn’t tell anybody about you?”

Hux blinked, it was hard to focus on Ren’s words. They sounded like they were coming from far away. At the same time it felt like they were coming from inside him, like memories of thoughts… The voices repeated Ren’s words like a soft murmur. He blinked and tried to focus but the words were somehow elusive, slipping away as soon as he was about to hear them clearly.

“Come on, cur. You know who you are - you’re General Hux of the First Order.”

Hux tried to keep his eyes open, but he was so, so tired; his limbs felt heavy. “I’m… Hux.”

“Yes, yes, you are. Don’t you remember? You want to kill the Rebel scum. Because they are in your way - the way to power. You don’t want to feel weak again, do you?” Ren’s voice sounded soft, alluring. “You know the truth. You’re a disgusting bastard - nobody will ever accept you. It’s either eat or be eaten.”

“That’s not true,” mumbled Hux. “Rose- Rose likes me.” His own words sounded like they came from far away.

Ren sighed. “You’re stubborn... The bitch is a nuisance. No matter - we have time.”


	25. Bonds

Rose jerked her head up and realised that she fell asleep over her data pad - again. She groaned and rubbed over her face, feeling exhausted. She looked around in the small hangar. Several boarding droids were laying on the floor, ready to be deployed.

It had been three days since Poe and Hux had been taken captive. Rose had no idea how many hours she actually slept but she didn’t care. How could she sleep when there was so much to do?

“There you are, Ro-Ro.”

Rose yawned and turned to face her mother who was standing at the entrance to the hangar. Of course she was holding a plate with food.

“I’m busy, mom.”

Thanya Tico walked over to her and put the plate with sliced fruit on the crate Rose was using as a makeshift workbench. Rose eyed the food, it was Jogan fruit. “Come, eat something.”

Rose crooked an eyebrow. “I thought I was too fat?”

“I didn’t mean it that way, Rosie,” replied her mother with a sigh. “Why are you always so unforgiving?”

“Just leave me alone, I’m not in the mood to talk to you,” replied Rose. “There’s a lot going on, okay? I need to finish this before the Order invades.” She grabbed the cold cup of caf and took a gulp.

“I know that you’re worried about Poe but-”

Rose felt a stab in the heart and she slammed her fist on the crate. “You know nothing, okay?”

Thanya’s face screwed up in anger. “How dare you talk to your mother like this? You never tell me anything and then you accuse me of not knowing what’s going on! Ungrateful child!”

Rose almost screamed in frustration and fury. Why did she keep talking? Why couldn’t she just go away? She was tired, exhausted and scared. And her mother just had to make things more complicated! “Just say it to my face!” She scoffed. “‘Ungrateful child’! Really? You are just disappointed that you’re stuck with me instead of Paige!”

Her mother blanched. “That is not true! I love you!”

“Then you have an odd way of showing it, mom! Have you any idea how it feels to be under the magnifying glass of your merciless affection?” She was so angry and frustrated that she could feel tears sting in her eyes. “You never used to care what I was doing - you weren’t even at my school plays, not even once at the science fairs. And now that I’m the only thing left you prod and pressure me to be somebody I never was!”

“I was working! To put food on the table!”

Rose wiped over her eyes and sniffled. “And why were you at the school when Paige-”

“Because she wasn’t as reliable as you! Because she had bad grades! Of course I would try to help her! You didn’t need my help, you were fine on your own.”

Tears ran down Rose’s face. “I didn’t need your help - I needed you to be there!”

Thanya threw her hands in the air. “I’m here now!”

“You don’t even see me! All you do is bring food because that’s the only thing you know about me! You may know what fruit I like but you have no idea who I am. And you don’t know what I care about!” She slammed her fist again on the crate. “So don’t you kriffing dare tell me that you’re here!”

The silence that followed was almost deafening. Her mother blinked, her eyes were moist. “I know that I’m not a good mother, believe me… I know. I’m driven, unsentimental… just like you. Your father was the warm, loving parent. I know that. But I’m trying, Rose, I really am.”

Rose could feel the anger ebbing away, a lump was forming in her throat. She gulped but it didn’t go away. “I know, mom. It’s just- sometimes I think we make each other unhappy.”

Thanya stared at the forgotten fruit on the plate. “I don’t want you to be unhappy.”

Rose licked her lips. “But you _make_ me unhappy. Just like back then when you told me that I needed to lose weight because-”

“Rose-”

“I’m seeing someone, you know,” she said loudly.

“You are?” asked her mother in a low voice.

“You said that I was getting too fat, that men wouldn’t like me.” She sniffled. “Do you have _any_ idea what it did to me? I became scared that he would leave me so I tried to eat less - I was miserable and it was all because you needed to remind me that I’m not Paige.” Her mother wanted to say something but Rose lifted her hand. “I’m not finished yet. I know that you love me - but we both know that Paige was the brighter star. I made my peace with that a long time ago. I just wish you could do the same.”

Her mother lifted her chin and blinked tears away. “Well, you are not making me unhappy. Because you’re my daughter and I love you. You are mine, I brought you into this world and I’m responsible for you - always. Whether you like it or not.”

Rose shook her head. “You still don’t get it. But it’s alright, I know you’re doing your best.” It was futile, her mother would never understand that she didn’t want to be her daughter - she wanted her to see her as a person.

Would she be the same with her own child? No, no most certainly not. She wouldn’t make the same mistakes.

They were both silent for a moment. “Are you gonna tell me who he is?” Thanya asked.

Rose closed her eyes for a moment. This was it, the moment of truth. She could just admit it, tell her mother that she was pregnant and that she was with Hux. She took a few deep breaths.

She opened her mouth and closed it again before she whispered, “It’s Armitage.”

Rose stared at the display of the pad in front of her without seeing it. Her heart was pumping fast, her breath even faltered a little. She didn’t dare to look at her mother.

She pressed her lips together. Why couldn’t she just look her in the eye, defiant, proud even? She really was a coward.

Her mother’s voice rang out. “What?”

Rose jerked her head up and straightened her back. She was getting angry again. “You heard me.” Her mother would without doubt scold her, scream at her, tell her that she was betraying her sister’s memory. The lump in her throat seemed to grow.

“Oh, Ro-Ro...” said Thanya. She pulled her in a hug, Rose buried her face in her shoulder. Her anger trickled away. Her mother's shirt smelled of soap, oil and snow. The smell of home overwhelmed her and she started to cry as her mother softly massaged her back.

“I’m sorry, mom. I didn’t mean for it to happen,” she bawled. Why didn’t her mother yell at her? Tell her off for falling for somebody who had been there when Paige-

“Shhhh, everything is alright, Ro-Ro. I’m not angry - how could I? You were retreating from us, burying yourself in work… you used to laugh so much. With him it’s almost like- He’s good for you, even an old cynic like me can see that.”

Hearing these words, even after all these years, after all that happened between them made her feel calm, safe even. She grabbed her mother and held her close. “I’m pregnant.”

Her mother just continued to stroke her back, holding her. “Everything’s alright.”

Rose let go of her and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. “You’re not mad?”

Thanya smiled at her with a softness in her eyes she didn’t think she possessed. “How could I be mad? Don’t you remember what your father used to say? ‘We’re going to win not by fighting what we hate, but saving what we love.’” She took her hand and held it in a warm and firm grip. “You’re such a strong, independent woman, Rose. Much stronger and smarter than your old mother. You deserve to be happy,” she added, “and you inherited the best parts of your father and me. This is how I know that everything will be fine.”

Rose sniffled again and returned the smile. “Well, I have certainly inherited my stubbornness from somewhere.”

“Can’t be from me, I still have mine,” replied Thanya and brushed over Rose’s hair. “Now I know why you are working so hard, Ro-Ro. You’re doing it for your family and I can promise you that I will do everything in my power to keep you safe.”

Rose sobered up a bit. “I just hope that they’re alright.”

Hux tugged at his black leather glove as he followed Ren down the hallway to interrogation room 42. He could feel a headache coming on, oddly enough he felt like everything was wrapped in cotton… the sounds, the lights, everything seemed fuzzy.

Had he worked through the night? Had he forgotten his usual stims? As much as he tried to remember, he couldn’t recall. Before he had time to muse over his odd memory lapses they had arrived at the interrogation room.

The guards at the door snapped at attention and opened the door for their Supreme Leader. Ren stepped inside, there was a man in an orange pilot jumpsuit strapped to an interrogation rack. He had an black eye and a split lip.

The pilot looked familiar, but Hux’s mind was sluggish, he had trouble focussing on his face.

Ren grabbed the pilot’s chin and lifted his face up in the bright light.

“Are you in the mood to talk now, Commander?” whispered Ren, his voice amplified through his vocoder. The sound made Hux uneasy, but he didn’t know why.

The pilot just stared at Ren, without saying a word.

“I thought as much, that’s why I asked General Hux to attend our session.” Ren stepped aside so that the pilot could see Hux who had been standing behind Ren.

Oddly enough Ren didn’t stare at Hux but at a point behind his shoulder. Hux still tried to focus and looked back to where Ren was looking, but there was nothing but thin air. He turned his attention back on the pilot who blinked slowly, judging by his pale face he had been tortured for a while now.

“Hugs, it’s good to see you,” said the pilot haltingly.

Hux frowned. The pilot was obviously making fun of him. And how could he not? whispered a small voice in the back of his mind. _Disgusting bastard._ They were all laughing at him. _Weak, silly boy!_

It didn’t matter, he could be as professionally as it was expected of a General of the First Order, even if the Rebel scum was not. “You will only talk when asked a question, Rebel,” said Hux. His own voice sounded throaty and raw.

Ren crossed his arms. “Now you talk, eh? Rebel scum! I thought that-”

“You don’t look so well, Hugs,” said the pilot as if Ren hadn’t spoken. He laughed, but his laughter turned into a cough. “I guess I’m not looking so good either.”

Why was the pilot acting as he knew him? And why did he keep calling him ‘Hugs’? Hux tried to focus on the task at hand despite feeling light-headed. “Where is the Rebel base?” That’s what he had to find out, wasn’t it?

“Come on, Hugs. You’re too clever for these games,” the smile faded from his lips. “Ren messed with your head.”

“That makes no sense,” replied Hux. “The Supreme Leader doesn’t need to manipulate me. I’m a General of the First Order.” After a pause he added like an afterthought. “The Order is all I have.” He frowned at his own words, and started to massage his temple. A headache was coming on.

“Hux, look at me,” said the pilot in a calm voice.

He continued to massage his temple. Why was everything so- so fuzzy? He looked at the pilot, he _did_ look familiar.

“The Order is not everything you have.”

Hux scoffed. “Of course it is.”

“It’s not, there’s much more to you than being-”

Before the pilot could finish the sentence, Ren lifted his hand and paralysed the prisoner. “We are wasting our time, General. I suggest you kill him. He’s wasting _your_ time.” Again he looked at the empty corner of the room.

“Supreme Leader, that would be a waste of resources. Certainly we can-” began Hux.

“You have your orders!” barked Ren and let go of the pilot.

Hux reached for his blaster, his eyes not leaving the man in front of him. It was senseless to kill him, but he had to obey. _Can’t you do anything right, silly boy? Just do what I’m telling you to do!_

“Don’t listen to that overgrown child,” panted the pilot.

The headache was growing worse. “I- why should I listen to you instead to the Supreme Leader?” he asked to his own surprise.

The pilot gave him a lopsided grin. “Easy. Because I’m your friend and he is not.”

Hux froze. “What?” An iron grip took hold of his heart. Was the pilot joking again? Making fun of him? “You’re not my friend,” he whispered. Of course he wasn’t. Nobody was. _Weak, silly - thin as a slip of pap-_

“Really, then why do I know that you love stew? Or that you would read like six publications about huttball because you like to be prepared even for a small social gathering?”

Something inside his mind started to tug at the edge of his consciousness.

_‘The huttball match is about to start and I just wanted to remind you - in case you forgot about it!’_

“The referee is missing fouls... “ Hux mumbled.

“I know, and it drives you mad.” The pilot spit blood out. “You said you’re not interested in huttball but you came to _every_ match. Because you don’t want to be alone anymore. Because you wanted to be with friends.”

Ren put his hand on Hux’s neck and immediately an old memory of a meaty hand on his shoulder resurfaced. He tried to pull away but Ren held him in a firm grip. “Don’t listen to that drivel, General. Just kill him and be done with it.”

“I can’t,” pressed Hux out, his hand glued to the blaster in his holster. Memories of him sitting next to people that were oddly familiar swirled through his mind. A memory of eyes that shone like stars in the dark night resurfaced before his inner eye. A lingering touch of her hand on his naked chest. Somebody was smiling at him. The pilot hugging him, telling him to come to silly sport events. Hugging _him_.

“And why not?” hissed Ren.

“Because h-he’s my friend,” stammered Hux. “The most annoying, obnoxious friend one can have.” As soon as he had said the words, he suddenly remembered the pilot’s name: Poe Dameron. Yes, that was right. His name was Poe Dameron.

Ren sighed. “A pity.” He turned to look once again at the empty spot in the back of the room. “Truly a pity. I guess I was too impatient.” He Force-pushed Hux into a wall.

The moment his head banged against the durasteel wall his mind cleared up a bit. He was pinned against the wall, gritting his teeth at Ren. Yes, Ren had done something to him… but he couldn’t clearly remember what.

“This is getting boring,” said Ren and stormed out of the room. Hux fell on the floor and groaned. His headache was now raging through his mind, making him almost throw up.

“You know, Hugs… I didn’t think you even considered me to be your friend.”

“I-”

“But I guess that’s what we are, aren’t we? We are friends.”

Hux struggled to get up on his feet. “R-Rose… she doesn’t hate me.” Images of her smiling came crashing down on him, making his head spin even worse. He could feel tears sting in his eyes. She didn’t hate him, did she? She didn’t think he was disgusting, weak… He buried his face in his hands. Or did she? If she saw him right now....

“She got away, right?” Hux asked with a trembling voice.

“Yeah, she did. And now they know we’re alive and well.” Dameron grinned at him. “Ren really is a moron. He thinks he can bend anybody to his will.”

Hux looked up, he felt a lump forming in his throat. “But he did. He manipulated me into-”

“All he did was make you play a role you left behind.”

Hux stumbled on his legs and went over to the controls of the rack Dameron was strapped to. He released him and Dameron fell down on his knees. It was a pointless gesture of course, soon Stormtroopers would come and take them captive again.

“What do you mean by ‘they know’?” Hux asked as he sat down next to Dameron.

Dameron wiped over his face. “Did you notice the way he kept looking over his shoulder? I bet Rey saw what was happening through their Force bond. That’s why he bothered in the first place to manipulate your mind. He was playing games.”

Hux massaged his neck, the headache seemed to recede a bit. “We already talked. They know where the base is.”

Dameron scoffed. “I’m sure I cracked pretty much the first day. I couldn’t keep him from finding out about the map to Skywalker back then, I couldn’t withstand him now.”

It was just like on Crait, Hux realised. Ren didn’t care about finishing off the Resistance. He just wanted to play his own sick games. Prove that he was superior to everyone. “We are already there, aren’t we? Above our base?”

Dameron shrugged and leaded back against the rack. “No idea, but if his staff isn’t completely inept, we are.”

Allegiant General Pryde’s visage came to Hux’s mind and he scoffed. “Some of them aren’t completely incompetent.”

From the outside they could hear at least a dozen Stormtroopers approaching in their heavy boots.


	26. Thick As Blood

“I saw them both,” said Rey. “They’re alive.”

Leia nodded and looked at each of her advisers who were gathered around the round table in the command centre of the base. “Anything else?”

Rey hesitated for a moment. “It seemed as if Ren used the Force to make Hux forget about us.”

Rose’s heart felt like it stopped beating. “What?”

“But it didn’t take - he ordered Hux to kill Poe but he didn’t do it. Ren kept looking at me, he was putting on a show again. It’s just like we thought.”

Rose exhaled and tried to keep her calm while her heart hammered against her chest. He was alive and well. At the same time she was angry. All this cruelty just to prove a point.

The alarm in the base went off. Leia activated the holo and displayed the orbit above the base. Several destroyers had jumped out of hyperspace.

Rose checked her pad with the tracker program. “He’s on his way, he’ll enter the atmosphere shortly.”

Leia crooked her eyebrow and looked at Kaydel Ko. “And where is Hux’s chip?”

“It’s in Ren’s shuttle.”

Finn exhaled. “Everything just as we thought.” He grabbed the blaster Poe had given him and put its setting on maximum. “This is it.”

Leia straightened her back and set her lips in a thin line. “Commence Operation Skyfall.”

Rose remotely activated the boarding droids, she watched with bated breath as small, red dots approached the four destroyers in orbit.

Leia closed her eyes for a moment. “Lieutenant, tell the skeleton crew to man their posts. Evacuate all non-essential personnel according to plan.”

Rey put her hand on Leia’s shoulder. “Are you ready to face him?”

Leia gave her a sad smile. “As ready as I will ever be.”

Rose gulped. Leia was majestic and commanding as ever, but she looked greyer and smaller every minute. They all knew what Operation Skyfall was - it’s plan was to stop Kylo Ren, by any means necessary.

Her mother asked her to evacuate with the others a day ago but she couldn’t. Not with him still in Ren’s clutches. She asked Finn to make sure that Thanya was on the list of people to be evacuated next. At least one Tico would make it out of here if they failed.

She could hear the ion engines of the troop transporters above them, soon followed by the sublight engines of a Y-class command shuttle. She didn’t even need to look at her pad to know that it was Ren.

Rey was standing outside the base, waiting for Ren’s shuttle to land. Next to her were Leia and Finn.

Rose stood a little back holding her pad, she would signal Chewie to commence the counter-attack once Leia gave the signal. She could feel her hands trembling slightly. It was a gambit, but it was still the best chance they had to defeat Ren.

When the black command shuttle landed, it was escorted by two troop transporters. The ramps went down and Kylo Ren marched out - he was wearing black robes and his mask, which was partly covered by his hood. Behind him red-clad Stormtroopers led Poe and Hux out of the shuttle. They both looked beat up and miserable.

Rose gritted her teeth - Ren made Hux to wear his old uniform. He looked strange, foreign even with his clean shaved face and stiff black uniform… but it was still the man she fell in love with. The man she would spend the rest of her life with.

Leia stepped forward to face her son. “This is your last chance to give up, Ben.”

Ren tilted his head as if he was amused. “I’ll grind you all to dust. You don’t matter anymore, you and your band of misfits.”

Leia chuckled. “I matter enough for you to show up personally. We matter enough for you to come here to gloat.”

Ren scoffed, at least Rose thought it was a scoff. It was difficult to tell because of the mask. “There it is, the famous Organa chutzpah. I wonder… do your underlings know how much of it is sheer desperation? I know you. You’re no galactic legend. You’re just a lonely, sad woman.” There was so much vitriol behind these last words that it made Rose shudder.

“I never claimed to be anything else but a simple woman, Ben. I made mistakes and I’m ready to own up to them.” She hesitated for a moment. “Today will be the day when Kylo Ren falls. It’s up to you if Ben Solo survives.”

It was the signal, Rose activated the boarding droids and signalled Chewie. She looked up again and stared at Hux who was being held behind Ren. He looked pale, when their eyes locked an expression of fear was visible on his face. She held his gaze, hoping he would catch her meaning - that she had never stopped believing in him.

Ren didn’t reply, instead he grabbed his lightsaber and ignited it. He glanced over his shoulder and said to one of the officers behind him. “You stay put, General Pryde. I want to finish them with my own hands.”

“Yes, Supreme Leader.”

Ren took a step forward, the lightsaber with the crackling blood-red blade in his hand. “You didn’t want to join me, Rey. Despite everything I offered you. Now you shall suffer the fate of those who underestimate me and my power.”

Rey drew her own lightsaber. “You’re just a bully, Ben. There’s nothing grand or heroic about your struggle.”

Ren ran towards her and lunged with a mighty swing of his lightsaber. Even from the distance Rose realised that he was using his superior body strength to break through Rey’s defensive stance. Their lightsabers met and sparks flew.

Rose tore her sight away from the fight and checked the progress of the boarding droids. Thirty seconds to impact. According to her sensors the remaining bombers were ready to deploy their bombs as soon as she gave the signal.

She looked up again, Ren had pushed Rey back to the treeline when she straightened her back and began to counterattack with fluent, fast strikes. Ren was obviously surprised by her and stumbled back.

She grazed his right arm and he roared in pain or anger, Rose wasn’t sure which one it was.

“Don’t you dare touch me!” he screamed. “Nobody is allowed to touch me!”

Rey lifted her chin. “You didn’t train properly, did you? You just used the Force against the Knights, punished them if they hit you. Your technique is sloppy.”

“You’re just a nobody!” he continued to scream. “Your parents were nobodies! I’m the heir to Darth Vader, and the Force is strong with me!”

Rey started to run towards him and started a series of quick attacks, with a flick of her wrist she cut his right hand off. It happened so fast that Rose didn’t realise what had happened until she saw the red lightsaber lying on the ground, next to the dismembered hand.

Ren fell backwards on the dirty ground. He used his remaining left hand to Force push Rey away. She was knocked backwards but quickly jumped back up on her feet.

“Pryde!” Ren screamed. “Use the hostages!”

The boarding droids arrived at their targets. Rose saw on her pad that all of them had succeeded in their task and according to her sensors there had been explosions on the ships. She gave the command for the bombers to attack.

Loud com chatter made Pryde jerk his head back to the comms officer behind him. He snapped his head back and said loudly, “Supreme Leader! We are under attack!”

“I don’t kriffing care! Use the hostages, now!” yelled Ren at the top of his lungs.

Pryde pulled his blaster and held it against Poe’s temple. “Stop! Or the Commander will be shot.”

Rey slowed her step, staring at Ren. “Is this how you want to defeat me? By using Poe as leverage?”

“Supreme Leader,” said Pryde, “we need your orders! We are under attack and the ships-”

“Silence!” hissed Ren. “The ships are not my concern. We have hundreds of them.” He laboriously got up, pressing his cauterized arm against his body.

He reached up and unlocked his helmet, pulling it off with his good hand. Then he threw it away, with a silent thud it landed on a pile with snow. Rose froze when she saw his youthful face, only marred by a large scar on his cheek. He looked so much like a young Han Solo that she could feel a lump building in her throat.

“Drop your weapon, Rey.”

Rey glared angrily at him but she obeyed. She let her lightsaber go. Rose’s breath faltered.

“You too, Rebel scum, let go of your weap-!” yelled Pryde.

A tiny orange ball bolted towards him and burned his leg with a small torch-blow - BB-8 had used the confusion to launch an attack. Pryde was startled, losing his focus. Finn drew his blaster and shot, the single blast hit Pryde in his cheek and as if in slow-motion he fell backwards, still holding his blaster. At the same time Rebels hidden under the snow threw their cover aside and jumped up and started to shoot at the Stormtroopers.

Balster bolts flew through the air and Rose ducked behind a crate, holding her data pad tight. She could hear screaming and when she peeked to see if she could help she saw to her horror that Ren had somehow managed to take hold of Rey’s lightsaber and was trying to kill her with it.

Seeing Pryde collapse with a gaping wound in his head made Hux grab Dameron and pull him down on the ground. His intuition proved right seconds later when an intense blaster battle broke out. Dameron crawled over to Pryde’s body and took the blaster.

“It’s genetically locked on its owner,” said Hux quickly before Dameron could expose himself. “Stay down.”

“Kriff!” hissed Dameron. “Can’t you unlock it?” He shoved the blaster in Hux’s hands.

“Theoretically yes but not in the heat of battle.”

Next to them two Stormtroopers with blaster wounds in their chest-plates collapsed, he could hear screams from the Rebel soldiers too. He quickly glanced to the spot where he’d seen Rose. She was nowhere to be seen.

His attention was drawn away to Ren and Rey who were still fighting. She managed to block several attacks despite not having a weapon. When Ren surprised her with a punch to her face, she fell backwards. He let go of the lightsaber, kneeled over her and started to pound her face with his left fist.

Dameron swore and jumped up, he ran towards Ren and tackled him. He managed to push the larger man from Rey’s apparently unconscious form, only to be lifted up by Ren with a Force grip.

Ren’s face was oddly blasé as he looked at Dameron, as if he was a child seeing a particularly interesting insect. Dameron’s face began to turn red as he desperately tried to fight off the invisible hands strangling him.

Hux started to work on Pryde’s blaster with slightly trembling hands, he had to- he had to be quick. Suddenly he heard Ren swear loudly.

He jerked his head up to see General Organa holding her arm stretched out, she let go of her crane and Ren’s lightsaber flew into her hand as she held Ren in place with the Force. Her face was screwed up in pain and desperation as she limped through the snow, towards her son. She didn’t seem bothered by the blaster bolts flying through the air, she was focussed on Ren who was visibly fighting against the Force hold. Dameron lay on the snow, gasping for air.

Organa stopped in front of her son, her lips were moving but Hux couldn’t hear what she was saying. Ren just smirked, Organa lifted her hand to strike him down but she hesitated. Just before she could move, Ren suddenly grabbed her by her throat. He looked oddly cheerful as he pushed her away. She fell down on the ground, coughing. Then he took his lightsaber and was about to behead her, but a barrage of well-placed shots made him stumble backwards as he deflected the blaster bolts with his lightsaber.

Hux gritted his teeth. For an injured man he was still surprisingly nimble.

Finn was still shooting at him when a stray blaster bolt hit him in the arm, making him cry out. Ren used the opening to hurl him against a nearby tree.

Dameron’s small astro droid hurried with a loud beeping noise towards Ren, holding it’s blow-torch in front of it like a tiny sword. Ren just smirked and lifted it up in the air, throwing it with a loud metallic thud against the blast door of the base.

Hux got up and hurried towards the base entrance. He was taking cover behind the tree trunk he and Rose had sat on so many times. He was still fumbling with Pryde’s blaster - damn his clumsiness!

He peeked at Ren only to discover that he had lifted up Rey with the Force, apparently ready to strike her down. Out of nowhere Rose appeared behind him with a shock prod in her hand. Just as she was about to make contact with Ren’s unguarded back he whipped his head around and Force-pushed her away with a single look, right into the durasteel wall of the base.

Everything seemed to slow down, Ren was turning his attention towards Rose. He would kill her! The thought flashed through Hux’s mind and suddenly his hands seemed to move on their own. He readied the blaster and ran towards Ren.

“Ren!” he screamed.

“Hux…” Ren smirked, then he grabbed him by his throat with the Force. “What’s this? You’re trying to save her, aren’t you? And with a puny blaster no less. Don’t you know? You’re the villain of the story and villains don’t get to be heroes.”

Hux threw the blaster at Ren. It missed him by 11 centimeters and landed in front of him in the snow.

Ren frowned and looked back at Hux, just as he was about to mock him for his bad aim the blaster’s power-pack Hux had set to overload exploded. Hot plasma splashed on Ren’s legs, arms and his chest, burning through his clothes and his flesh. Ren screamed in pain and let go of Hux.

Hux coughed and grabbed the lightsaber. But before he could figure out how to activate it, Ren recovered and pushed Hux into the same wall as Rose.

The air was knocked out of Hux’s lungs when his back hit the durasteel. He almost blacked out when the back of his head smashed against the wall. Dimly he realised that Rose was lying not far away from him. He coughed again and tried to crawl towards her, his head spinning.

“That wasn’t smart, Hux. I just wanted to kill you but now… I’m going to make it last. I’m going to dismember you limb by limb and I will order the medics to keep you alive.” Ren stomped towards Rose, his humming blood-red lightsaber in his left hand. “But first I want to kill off this annoying rebel scum!”

Hux gritted his teeth and stumbled on his feet, trying to stop Ren. But he just threw him back against the wall with a flick of his wrist.

Just as he turned again towards Rose a sizzling sound could be heard and a cloud of blood painted the snow to Ren’s left. Hux’s eyes went wide, apparently Ren was confused too, as he looked at his bleeding torso. Flesh was torn out, muscles were visible under the blood and gore.

“Don’t you dare touch my family!” a voice rang out.

Thanya Tico was standing at the entrance of the base, only meters away from Ren. She had a kind of air tank strapped to her back and was holding something that looked like a hose in her hands.

She cocked the metallic head of the hose again, Hux could only gape at her. The tiny woman was half the height of Ren, but she seemed determined and dangerous - her eyes were cold as steel. She took a step forward and a sizzling sound could be heard again, something hit Ren’s leg despite him trying to deflect it with his lightsaber.

He stumbled backwards and fell on his knees; there was a sizable hole in his thigh, exposing his bone. He was panting and his face screwed up in anger. “This is not supposed to happen! You’re nobody! You don’t even have the Force, you’re not special!”

“Neither are you,” said she and cocked her unidentifiable weapon again.

Ren glanced at Hux who was lying near him. He looked like a wounded animal. Ren was heavily wounded, blood was dripping from his wounds and he was pale - then something like anger flashed over his face. He pressed his lips together and glared at Hux. “This is all your fault! If only you hadn’t betrayed me! I may be-,” he coughed, “- finished but so are you!”

Ren grabbed his lightsaber and swung it towards Hux, when another sizzling sound rang out and something punctured Ren’s chest. He coughed and bright red blood seeped out of his mouth before he collapsed.

“I said: Don’t touch my family,” pressed Thanya Tico out and cocked her weapon again. She stepped next to Ren and shot him in the head. Small pieces of brain tissue painted a web of blood and gore on the snow. “Nobody messes with the Ticos,” she said with a cold stare at the dead body.

She ran to Rose and knelt down next to her, checking her head for injuries. Hux stumbled on his legs and went over to see if Rose was alright. To his relief she seemed unharmed, she was already groaning and her eyes were fluttering open.

“Mom?” she mumbled. Then she saw Hux and she reached up and cupped his cheek. “You’re back… did we win?”

Hux realised that he hadn’t followed the course of the battle and took a quick look. The fighting had died down, only a few Stormtroopers remained.

He smiled and brushed a strand of her hair back. “Yes, we did. We won.”

“Mom? Why are you here?”

Sergeant Major Tico opened the belts holding the tank and put it down. She rubbed her back. “For the same reason you stayed - to save the people I love.”

Rose squinted. “Is that a sandblaster 900-XL compressor? Why-”

Her mother waved off. “I’m not good with a blaster. But with that thing… I’m like a surgeon.” She rolled her shoulders back.

Hux gaped at her. So this was why Ren couldn’t defend against it - it was an high-powered air compressor used in mining to drill holes in bedrock in order to place explosives in them. Even a lightsaber couldn’t defend against air. With awe he looked at the tiny middle-aged woman before him - she really was Rose’s mother, tough as nails and brilliant.

Sergeant Major Tico crooked an eyebrow and scanned Hux from head to toe. “Black really isn’t your colour, you know.” She smiled at him and pulled him into a hug. “Welcome to the Tico family.”

Hux was too taken aback to react. “What?” Only then he realised that the Sergeant Major had told Ren not to touch her family when he had tried to attack him. Did that mean-

“Well, you’re the father of my grandchild, aren’t you? That makes you a Tico.” She pushed him away again and wiped over her eyes. “That’s enough sentimentality. Go make yourself useful and tell a medic to come over here to check on Rose.”

Hux blinked and got up, he wanted to go into the base only to be stopped at gunpoint by a couple of rebel fighters. “Stop you- wait, you’re Hux, right?” asked one of them.

“Uh, yes - I was taken captive by Ren and he-”

“Sorry, didn’t recognize you with that uniform,” the second fighter said and they lowered their blasters.

Hux rushed into the base into the medbay hoping to find Dr. Kalonia. As expected the medbay was occupied by injured fighters. He realised that he had to carry Rose here if he wanted her to be checked up - after all there were people who were much more injured than she was.

“Hugs!”

He turned on his heel and saw Finn and Dameron, they were standing next to a bed where Rey was lying in. BB-8 was rolling back and forth making distressed noises. It seemed that it’s server motors had been damaged. Rey’s head was bandaged and a smaller cut had been taken care of.

“Ah, Master Rey. Are- are you alright?” he asked.

“I am - thanks to all you guys,” she replied with a broad smile. “From what I hear the First Order ships in orbit have been destroyed or are retreating.” Her smile faded a bit. “Where’s Rose?”

“She’s still outside, I came here to see if Dr.- well, I seems my reason is impaired. Of course, there would be a lot of injured-” he broke off. “How is your larynx, Commander Dam- Poe?”

Dameron grinned at him before he pulled him into a bear hug. “I’m glad that you made it, Hux! My throat is fine, thank you!”

Finn embraced both of them, increasing the pressure on Hux’s chest. He frowned. “I can’t breathe.”

“Too bad,” replied Finn. “You’re still getting a hug.”

Haltingly Hux returned the hug.


	27. Acknowledgement

Rose groaned when Finn and Hux finally set her down on a bed inside the medbay. Her head hurt and she was feeling slightly ill - perhaps it hadn’t been her best idea to tackle the most dangerous man in the galaxy with a taser.

Hux pulled at his uniform jacket and looked around, visibly uneasy. “I- uh, I’ll go change if you don’t mind.”

Rose took his hand. “Wait a bit, I’m sure Dr. Kalonia or a medic will be with me shortly.”

“Yes, yes of course. I’m sorry.” He nervously looked at her. “How are you? Are you in pain?”

“I could use something for the headache but otherwise I’m fine.”

Hux glanced at Finn. “Right.”

Only then she realised that he was asking about the baby. She put her hand on her belly and smiled at Hux. “I’m fine.” Only her head was hurting after all… and her leg, her left arm....

Hux exhaled but still looked tense.

“Finn,” Rose said, “would you mind going to look if a doctor is available?”

Finn looked from Rose to Hux and back again to Rose. “Uh, sure.”

She waited until he was out of earshot and said: “I’m fine, really. You don’t have to worry.”

A medic brushed past them and Hux pulled his hand away from her, looking even more uneasy than before. “I apologize for the lack of my restraint. I’m still confused by-” he broke off and he sighed. “Ren showed me things that weren’t true. But the feeling… it was so _real_.”

“Rey told us that he tried to manipulate you.”

Hux gulped. “He didn’t manipulate me, he just showed me who I used to be. Showed me… who I would turn out to be.” He pressed his lips together. “That’s why I wanted to change out of the uniform so that- so that you don’t see me like this.”

“It’s strange,” she admitted, “seeing you like this. But it’s still you. Ren pulling whatever Force tricks they were doesn’t change that.”

He frowned. “If Commander Dameron hadn’t talked to me the way he did… who knows?”

“ _I_ know,” she replied in a firm voice. “Because I know _you_. And whatever shit Ren showed you, it doesn’t matter. Because you’re better than you think. And I’m always right.”

He gave her a half-smile like he used to. “Of course you are.”

Dr. Kalonia discharged her about two hours later - unlike some of the wounded she was stable enough to rest in her quarters. Before they left the med bay Hux quickly recalibrated BB-8’s servo motors, the droid made happy beeping noises. After that Finn accompanied Poe to his room while Hux offered to take Rose to hers.

When she stood in front of her room she realised that he’d never been there before. They always met in his quarters. Another oversight of hers, something she never thought about.

She punched in the code and stepped inside when the door slid open. Hux stopped at the doorway, pulling again at his uniform.

“Come in,” she said with a smile.

His eyes went wide and he followed her inside. With open interest he looked around, he took in the wall that was covered with colourful holos of flowers. “Did you program these yourself?” he asked.

She nodded. “Yeah, I used spare parts obviously and just wrote a script to play the flowers on a loop.”

Next he took in the pictures hanging on the other wall. They were pictures of her family, her mother and father standing in front of their house, her grandmother making dumplings in the kitchen and of her and Paige being small kids. He looked at them with the intensity of an art connoisseur studying a painting.

He turned towards her and obviously wanted to ask something when he caught sight of himself in the mirror next to the door. He blinked and closed his mouth again before he spoke, “Dr. Kalonia said you should rest, I’ll leave you be.”

“The uniform really bothers you, doesn’t it?”

He shifted his weight from one feet to another. “Yes.”

She stepped to him and cupped his cheek with her hand, pulling him down into a kiss. “See you later.”

He looked at her with an expression of surprise on his face before a smile spread on his lips. “See you later, Rose.”

With these words he left.

Rose sat down on her bed and activated her pad. She could go through some schematics while she rested, this way she wouldn’t fall too far back on her work.

About an hour later her mother checked in on her, carrying a plate with rolls of course. “You need to eat, Ro-Ro - to build up your strength.”

“Don’t you have better things to do than bring me food?”

Thanya waved her hand dismissively. “This is nothing.”

Rose stared at the rolls and recalled Hux’s face when he had thought that her mother had cut fruit for him. He had looked so happy, ready to believe her little lie that the sliced fruit hadn’t been for her in the first place. “Uh, so listen… would you mind bringing some of these rolls to Armitage?”

Her mother smiled and patted her cheek. “I already did, my flower.”

Rose gaped at her. “You did?”

Her mother sighed and sat down on the bed next to her. “Do you remember Grandpa Storm and Grandma Etta?”

“Of course I do.”

“How we all gathered in the summer at their house to fish and to play cards? That was something, wasn’t it? Uncle Rico was there, just like aunt Kura-”

“- and the cousins, I know, okay.”

“We’re all that’s left of them, Ro-Ro.” Her mother smiled sadly at her. “It’s just us now. You, me and Hux.”

Rose put her head on her mother's shoulder. She could smell the scent of home again. “Are you getting sentimental with age, mom?”

“Of course I am, my flower. It’s one of the prerogatives of being a grandmother.” She patted Rose’s knee. “Now eat up.”

In the evening Rose holoed Hux to meet up in the Cantina. He was already waiting for her when she showed up - punctual as ever. He was wearing a dark green shirt and his usual dark pants and seemed more relaxed than he had been back in her quarters.

“How are you feeling, Rose?”

“I’m starving but otherwise fine. What about your bruises?”

He shrugged. “It’s nothing.”

They stepped inside, to Rose’s surprise it was brimming with people, everybody was laughing, eating and drinking. The noise level was way higher than usual. In the middle of the room was Poe, surrounded by a couple of people - obviously telling them some story judging by the way he gestured and how they sometimes laughed.

They finally found two seats at a table in one of the corners. Rose was about to sit down when she noticed Mircah sitting on the other end of the table. “Come on, Hux. Let’s find some place else to sit,” she said in a calm voice.

“No need,” said Mircah and wiped his mouth with a napkin. “I’m finished anyway.” He grabbed the tray and headed for the station to put the plates away.

Rose and Hux sat down. “Do you want me to get your food?” asked Hux.

“If you don’t mind, yes please.”

He got in line while she leaned back and looked around. They had finally won, Kylo Ren was dead - killed by her own mother believe it or not. She expected to feel elated, but she was only tired. It didn’t feel like they won and in a way, they hadn’t - at least not yet. The First Order still existed.

Perhaps it was only the shock of the moment that made her feel so… normal.

Hux returned with the food and they ate, chatting about their project like every other day. Rose gulped down the last piece of her casserole and glanced at Poe who was still laughing and talking with other people.

Suddenly Poe climbed on a table and said loudly, “What we need now is a song! Today we won and I demand a song!”

Next to him an old Mon Calamari was helped on the table, Rose knew him… it was uh, what was his name - Kalmina, yes Kalmina - and old comm officer from the great Galactic War.

Kalmina cleared his throat and silence spread out. The Mon Calamari started to hum, at first it was barely audible but after a few seconds others started to hum with him, standing up one after another. She recognized the tune, it was an [old song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTnQzK23R7Q) from the last war. The humming gave her goosebumps and when Kalmina started to sing the ancient verses about loss, sacrifice and resisting evil a shiver ran down her spine. Moments later Poe joined him. The humming of the people was becoming quieter until the crescendo at the end where all joined Kalmina and Poe and the last line was sung, no almost screamed by all the fighters in the Cantina, herself included.

Tears were running down her cheeks, it was as if she realised only now the magnitude of their win. Despite the odds they had won! They won!

The Cantina erupted in cheers and the old Mon Calamari was visibly moved.

Rose sniffled and laughed at the same time. She turned to Hux who was standing next to her, visibly taken aback by the reactions around him. She took his hand, causing him to jerk his head towards her. “Rose- what if anybody sees-”

“Let them see,” she said with a smile and kept holding his hand as Ebrima started to sing [another song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGL_F-F59aY) to commemorate their fallen friends and comrades.

The Rebels continued to sing, Sergeant Suta started to serve beer, wine and something stronger that Hux couldn’t identify. Rose excused herself after a while, she was excited but also tired. Hux could feel a headache coming on from drinking beer and wine and decided to get outside to catch a breath of fresh air.

He went back to his quarters, got his parka and exited the base. He went to the tree trunks, taking in the destruction caused by the fight earlier. He squinted to see if Millicent was anywhere but the loth-cat was nowhere to be seen. She had obviously been startled by the noise earlier and probably retreated to her old stomping grounds.

In the distance he saw a figure standing near the forest. Curiosity got the better of him and he marched through the snow towards the lone rebel standing out in the dark while all the others were celebrating in the Cantina.

When he was but a few meters away a voice rang out, “General Hux, how good of you to join me.”

He recognized the voice immediately. “Good evening, General Organa.” He slowed his step. “I didn’t mean to intrude; do you want me to leave?”

She glanced over her shoulder, her silvery grey hair shining brightly against the dark purple coat she was wearing. “Actually I don’t mind the company.”

He stepped next to her, only now he noticed that she was standing in front of freshing dung unmarked graves. A thin blanket of snow had already settled over them.

Organa leaned on her crane. “A parent isn’t supposed to bury their child. And yet…” she didn’t finish the sentence.

“He was trying to kill you,” said Hux in a low voice.

“He was, but I can’t help thinking that I could’ve saved him. If only I hadn’t sent him away, if only I realised earlier that Snoke was poisoning his mind.” She exhaled. “Poe told me that he was past saving, perhaps he was right. But there are doubts that never can be silenced.”

“Everybody has regrets.”

“Ben didn’t have any.”

“What?”

Organa straightened her back, staring at the grave in front of her. Snow started falling again. “I reached out to him with the Force, to get a feeling of his state of mind. Before the battle of Crait I sensed him, he was in one of the fighters attacking us, wasn’t he?” She didn’t wait for him to answer. “He hesitated when he had a clear shot of our bridge, he could have killed me right then. Something lingered in his mind… but today it was gone. There was nothing but excitement and a twisted sense of pride. Not even hatred.”

“Hatred would require that one cares,” replied Hux. “He was too detached for that, at least after he killed Snoke. It was- it was almost as if he decided that he had won already. That everything else was ornamentation.”

“That’s what Poe said too… that he didn’t care. How curious that you would say the same.”

Hux stared at the forest, unable to meet her gaze. “Perhaps it’s because Captain Dameron told me the same. That he thought that I was the spy because I cared, despite everything I had done.”

She chuckled. “He’s an excellent judge of character isn’t he?”

Hux didn’t reply right away. How could he? “I can’t concur. That would be presumptuous of me.”

“Really?”

“There are doubts that can never be silenced,” he said quietly.

She didn’t reply, they stood for a moment in silence before she turned and headed back to the base. Hux stared at Ren’s grave. Considering everything it should be Ren standing at Hux’s grave, the golden prince of the Resistance, the son of Galactic legends, not the bastard son of a questionable line of Force-blind Imperial soldiers.

Or perhaps it wasn’t even that strange. Perhaps it wasn’t about lineage… perhaps it was about choices. Hux almost scoffed. Perhaps Dameron was right after all.

The next few weeks were quite busy. General Organa was quieter than she used to be, but she directed the remaining war efforts with her usual superb skill. Rose and Hux worked hard on repairing fighters and med droids. They even managed to update their boarding droid and the hyperspace tracker to keep tabs on all the remaining destroyers of the First Order.

Rose kept reaching for his hand in public, making physical contact. Sometimes she even put her hand on his arm when she was talking. At first he had been startled but then he realised that it was her way to show her affection publicly.

One day they were watching a huttball game in the hangar as usual and Hux brought cold beer to Master Rey, Finn, Lieutenant Connix, Poe and one for himself. For Rose he grabbed an iced tea.

“Thanks, Hugs,” said Poe and grabbed his beer, opening the bottle.

“You’re welcome.”

Connix thanked him as well and settled next to Rey who was staring at the holo, screaming “Pass! Pass you moron!”

Poe took a gulp and leaned over to Finn and gave him a kiss on his lips before continuing watching the game. Hux sat down next to Rose and cautiously put his hand on hers. It felt foreign to him, as if he was somehow overstepping. When Rey turned to talk to Connix he pulled his hand away.

He focussed on the game and watched the Coruscant Flutterplumes make another goal, the hangar erupted in cheers. Only a few noises of protest could be heard from Makeb Subteroth fans.

“Kriff,” said Rose suddenly and put her hand on her belly.

Hux almost jumped up. “What is it?”

“Just a bit of stomach ache, maybe I drank the tea too fast or something.”

“Are you sure?” he asked, while mentally going through all the medical knowledge he studied in the past months. Almost all sources said that it was prudent to visit at least a med droid if the pain persisted. “Perhaps we should go to the med bay.”

“What’s going on?” asked Poe and glanced over his shoulder.

“Nothing,” said Rose. “I’m just a bit unwell.”

Poe got up. “I heard that there is a flu going around. Better be careful, Rose. Come on, I’ll take you to the doc.”

Hux was taken aback. “No, I- I can do that.”

Poe patted on his shoulder. “No problem, you just enjoy the game.”

He looked at Rose, trying to determine from her gaze if she wanted him to accompany her. But before he could decide what the best course of action was she was already on her feet and walked away with Poe.

Should he follow them? Or would that be intruding? What if Rose was relieved that it wasn’t him who was seen accompanying her through the base with her round belly? But on the other hand… what if she expected him to join them? How should he know? Calm, he had to keep calm and think this through. Option 1-

“You look like you’re having a stomach ache yourself,” said Rey, derailing his thoughts.

“Uh, I- no, I don’t,” stammered Hux.

Finn turned to face him and took a gulp from his beer. “Maybe you should go after them.”

“You think?” Hux asked weakly. “I don’t want to bother-”

“Stars, just go already, you’re making me nervous - I can literally hear the gears turn in your head,” replied Finn.

Hux gulped and got up, hurrying towards the medbay. What was he thinking? Of course he should accompany Rose. He should’ve insisted! But- but what if the others started asking questions Rose didn’t want to answer? He slowed his step. If he turned up at the med bay Poe would become suspicious.

He just had to come up with something why he had followed them, yes! A convenient lie that wouldn’t appear odd in case Rose wanted it to keep a secret for longer.

Hux barged in the med bay, causing Dr. Kalonia, Poe and Rose jerking their heads towards him. Rose was sitting on a med bed, Kalonia was holding a scanner.

“Hugs?”

“I, uh, just wanted to ask Rose if she still wanted to work on the air filters later or if she wanted to rest,” said Hux quickly. There, he thought to himself, that was smooth. Then he realised that the others were still staring at him. “Because, if she wanted to rest I could do it myself. I just wanted to tell Rose, uh, so that she knew.”

Kalonia arched an eyebrow and turned towards Rose. “So, as I was saying… everything is fine. It’s not unusual in this stage of the pregnancy to experience a bit of stomach ache. But of course it’s always wise to come for a check-up.”

Hux’s breath faltered when he saw the expression on Poe’s face, his usual grin faded and he blinked a couple of times really fast. “Uh…”

“So, you don’t have to worry, Poe. Rose is fine, and so is your baby.”

Rose blanched and stared at Kalonia.

Poe on the other hand haltingly put his hand on her shoulder. “That’s- that’s great news, honey.”

“If you’ll excuse me,” said Kalonia with a smile. “I have other patients to attend to.” She exited the examination room.

Rose glared at Poe. “The kriff?”

“I’m sorry, alright!” said Dameron in a low voice. “But what was I supposed to do? I didn’t know what to say, alright? This took me by surprise - I didn’t know that you were pregnant. Not for sure anyway.”

Hux still stood in the doorway, an iron grip around his heart. He really thought that Kalonia already knew. But what if- what if it was better this way? Rose could claim that it was Poe’s child. He would cover her. She wouldn’t have to admit that she fell for some- for him.


	28. Assembling Blueprints

Rose saw the desperate look on Hux’s face, how his furrowed brow eased into a blank expression of defeat and hurt. Poe seemed to see it too.

He cleared his throat. “It’s yours, isn’t it?”

Hux pressed his lips together and nodded.

Poe turned back to Rose. “Rose, listen-”

“Don’t you even dare to suggest to keep this charade up,” she hissed. “Just because we’re not- not so open and comfortable to show our affection it doesn’t make it less valid!”

Poe’s eyes went wide. “Of course not. I just didn’t notice that you guys were together. But then again Finn always tells me that I’m not very observant about… these things.”

She saw from the corner of her eye how Hux perked up, he hesitantly stepped closer to her but still keeping his distance. She got up and took his hand and put it on her belly. “Can you feel it?”

His dejected expression changed into a surprised one. “I-”

“It’s ours, ours alone.” Then she reached up and pulled him down for a kiss, fully aware that Poe was still watching them. She tried to take it slow, to ease their relationship into public knowledge - she thought it was enough but of-kriffing-course it wasn’t.

“I’m sorry, Armitage, that I’m so slow on the uptake. I love you and I want you to know that. Let’s go back there and show them that too.”

He brushed over her cheeks with his thumb, smiling at her. “I love you too and I would like that very much.”

She kissed him again. “After that we can go back to the lab to fix the air filters.”

He laughed, “Sounds perfect.”

“Oh stars! You’re both horrible!” exclaimed Poe. “That’s not the right way to end such a romantic moment! Go outside and watch the night sky or something!”

They returned to the hangar and watched the last ten minutes of the game. She felt nervous but she still kissed him for all to see after the game had finished. He was tense and the kiss was over fast.

“Stars, that’s awkward,” she whispered, “I don’t know how Poe and Finn do it.”

He brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “We don’t have to be them, Rose. I just- I’m just happy that we’re together.”

He looked so vulnerable, soft and beautiful in this moment that she kissed him again, this time it wasn’t a hasty kiss but a tender, lingering one. She let go of him and ran her hand through his hair. “I know and I’m sorry in advance for being a klutz.”

“Well, I don’t know if you’ve realised it yet but I’m not exactly a smooth operator myself.”

“It’s scary, isn’t it? I mean… all of it. Admitting liking somebody even if it means getting hurt, deciding to have a child. Sometimes I wonder if it’s only me who is horrified about all this.”

He took her hand and kissed it. “You’re right, it is scary. But I’m here, I will always be here.”

“So am I, you’re stuck with me now, Armitage. And you know that Tico women can be pretty strong-headed.”

He smiled. “I hadn’t noticed.”

Months went by and Rose had to admit that it was getting harder to keep up her usual work schedule with all the appointments in the med bay, the workload and of course with the increased frequency she had to visit the fresher as her belly became bigger and the baby started to squeeze her bladder.

Hux offered to rub her swollen feet and he always kept his word and by the Force, the man was nothing if not perennial. She had to admit it was becoming her favourite time of the day when they retreated into her room after dinner. He rubbed her feet as he read something on his pad while she was doing relaxing calculations on their upcoming projects on the bed.

To her surprise she hadn’t gotten any dirty looks when she couldn’t hide her pregnancy anymore with wide shirts and with Hux constantly by her side there was little doubt in her mind that it was quite clear who the father was. But even Mircah didn’t glare, he just looked at her with somewhat mild interest.

Her mother and Poe on the other hand didn’t only display mild interest - quite on the contrary they were excited about every bit of news. Her mother started to write down all the family recipes for the little one as if the child would starve without it. Poe kept fantasizing about how he would teach the child to fly before it could walk, much to Thanya’s chagrin.

When Rose was bent over particularly complicated circuits from one of the fighter’s fuel injectors - not an easy task with her large bump - she suddenly felt a sharp pain in her abdomen. She grabbed the hydrospanner so hard that her knuckles turned white as a wave of pain passed through her. Crap, labour pains already? She took a few deep breaths and focussed on the circuitry - she would finish this quickly and then call Armitage. Or rather the droid with the wheelchair they built a couple of weeks ago. She gritted her teeth and set the screws on the motherboard tight before the next wave of pain washed through her. Okay, perhaps this wasn’t the time to finish this.

“Armitage?”

“Hm?” He didn’t look up from the blueprint he was working on.

“Armitage!”

The urgency of her tone made him jerk his head up. “What is it?”

“Get the droid, I think we need to get into the med bay.”

He paled, jumped up and activated the droid right away. Then he helped her into the chair while she held her belly, with a groan she sat down. “Kriff!”

“What is it?” he asked alarmed.

“I forgot to solder the motherboard properly. Ah, whatever - I can finish later.”

“Shall I call your mother?”

She grabbed him by his sleeve. “I’m in pain, Armitage, but I’m going to get up again to strangle you with my bare hands if you dare call my mother. In fact I want you to keep her out until- well, arghhh, until it’s over.”

“Of course,” he replied. “Let’s get to the med bay.”

Dr. Kalonia and Armitage helped her to get on the bed in the back of the med bay. The labour pains grew in frequency and intensity as Kalonia scanned her. “Everything is going perfectly,” she said.

“Perfectly?” panted Rose with thick pearls of sweat on her face. “It hurts worse than a blaster wound.”

“Do you want analgesics?” she asked. “Remember, this doesn’t hurt the baby.”

“Yes,” panted Rose. The pain was now almost unbearable. Kalonia prepared a hypospray and injects her, in a matter of moments the sharp agony recedes and all that remains is a dull pain.

Only now she realised that she had been holding Hux’s hand and that he had a pained expression on his face from her hard grip. She relaxed a bit and he bent over and kissed her on the forehead.

“Deep breaths, Rose,” said Kalonia, “try to push with the next contraction.”

“I’m doing my best here,” hissed Rose with gritted teeth. “Okay?”

Dr. Kalonia smiled, not by the least offended by her harsh tone. “I know.”

“I’m sorry, doc, I just-” the next dull pain came over her and she pushed.

Rose lost count of the time, she pushed with each contraction and suddenly it was over. Before she had time to realise what happened she saw how Kalonia cut the umbilical cord with a scalpel and wrapped a towel around the crying baby; then presented it to her. Sweat was burning in her eyes, mixed with tears of joy when she saw her baby for the first time. It had a small shrivelled red face, a tiny nose and a small shock of bright ginger hair.

She took it in her arms and laughed, ecstasy and joy flowing through her. It looked like a naked womp rat but it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

“Congratulations,” said Kalonia, “it’s a boy.”

Hux’s hand still hurt when he took the baby from Rose so that Dr. Kalonia and a med droid could check on and clean her up. He stood next to the bed and stared in awe at the little boy in his arms. He noticed of course the colour of the hair but for the first time in his life he understood what Rose had meant when she had told him over and over again that she adored ginger hair.

He felt so much pride and love when he looked at his son that it almost hurt in his chest. His son, _his_ son, he thought over and over again with a wide smile plastered on his lips.

Never had he imagined that a miserable excuse for a human being like him could ever be able to be part of something so miraculous and wonderful.

“Rose, Rose look at him,” he whispered. “He’s so perfect.”

She laid in the bed, exhausted and pale. But she managed to give him a grin. “Of course he’s perfect, you drew the blueprints and I assembled it.”

He gave the baby back to her and gave her a kiss on her forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

She gave the boy a tender kiss. “And I love you too, little one.”

“He looks a lot like you in the morning,” Hux said with a chuckle.

“Shut up,” she said with a laugh. Then she squinted. “Hm, I hate to admit it but you’re right. This is exactly the face that stares back at me in the mirror.”

“I love your morning face, you know that,” he said and kissed her sweaty forehead again.

“You better love it, because you will see a lot more of it once our little battery is charged and ready to go.”

Kalonia pulled the gloves from her hands and covered Rose with a sheet. “The sheets were changed and everything else is taken care of.”

From outside the room they could hear voices, most prominent among them Rose’s mother’s.

“If you’ll excuse me,” Hux said quickly and walked towards the source of the cacophony of voices. Thanya Tico threw her hands in the air as soon as she saw him. “Where is my daughter? How is she? How’s the baby?”

Behind the quartermaster stood Finn, Rey and Poe. They all beamed at him.

“She is resting,” said Hux. “Everything is fine - the boy is also fine. Dr. Kalonia said so herself.”

“It’s a boy?” asked Poe and slapped his hand on Hux’s back. “Congratulations! What’s his name?”

“We haven’t decided yet.”

Rey pushed something in his hand and at second glance he saw that it was a knitted lizard. She hugged him so hard that he had trouble breathing. What was it with the Rebels and their hugs?

“On Jakku we used to give new mothers sand lizards as gifts, there are no lizards on this planet so I made this instead,” said Rey. “Please give it to Rose.”

She let go of him and he pressed out. “Yes, of course, Rey.”

“You guys are horrible,” said Finn, “everything’s fine so let’s go - I’m certain they need to rest, right Hux?”

Relieved he nodded. “Yes, thank you.”

Thanya shot Finn a nasty glare. “I’m certain that I’m allowed to see my grandson, thank you very much.”

“Thanya, please.” Hux said. “Rose needs to rest, please understand.”

She crossed her arms and huffed. “Fine.” Then she pointed her finger at Hux. “But I’ll be back!” With that she stormed off.

“You know, she _will_ be back,” said Rey. “She’s quite stubborn.”

“So I’ve heard,” retorted Hux dryly.

He returned to Rose who was holding her- their son, who started to whimper. She pulled her shirt down and gave him her breast. She stroked the baby’s head as it suckled.

“Rey wanted me to give you this,” he said and put the knitted lizard on the nightstand. “She said that it’s a tradition on Jakku.”

“It is, but usually they bring live lizards for a stew that is supposed to help the body heal.”

He crooked his eyebrow. “Lizard stew? Really?”

“On Hays Minor they used to serve cave fern soup after birth, so who am I to judge?” She looked at the hand knitted lizard with its colourful threads. “It’s nice, isn’t it.”

He realised that he hadn’t even thought about the possibility that there were presents. “I didn’t know about gifts. Was I supposed to bring something too?”

“No, of course not. There are no rules for this.”

He took a chair and sat down beside her and watched them with a smile. “Do you want me to look up our list with names? If I remember correctly it was quite long in the end.”

“I don’t think there’s a need for that,” said Rose as she set her eyes on the baby at her bosom. “Doesn't he look like an Aidan?”

Hux was surprised to discover that she was right, he had no idea why but looking at the baby he realised that it was indeed a fitting name. “He does.”

The next couple of days Rose was still on bed rest and Hux was excited to take care of Aidan. He started a diary to keep tabs on his development, noted time and date when he had to change the diaper.

Ebrima cornered him one day in the Cantina and forced him to promise her to make sure Rose was resting enough. So he transferred all the work schedules on her pad and asked her to check his calculations instead of letting her do them herself.

He noted with satisfaction that she seemed well rested - at least in his opinion. Judging from the glares Ebrima gave him he wasn’t sure if she shared his assessment.

He had also been re-reading his notes on child-care and followed the suggestions to the letter. That included getting out of the base so that Aidan could get some fresh, unfiltered air.

Rose lay in her bed, pad in hand with her eyes closed, snoring quietly as he dressed Aidan in a onesie and put him in a hovering forklift refitted to be a pram… Hux had fine-tuned the stabilisators himself.

He put a bottle of warm water and a box of left-overs in his grey bag and headed out. By the time he had arrived outside Aidan had fallen asleep. Hux sat down on the tree trunk and squinted his eyes as the sun shone brightly. He pulled the hood of the pram a bit down and took the box out of his bag.

As usual Millie appeared in a matter of seconds with her tail held high, it was trembling slightly as she hurried towards him.

“Mrrrau! Mrrrrraauuuu!” she protested as if she hadn’t gotten food for at least two months.

“The snow is gone now, you are supposed to hunt for your food,” said Hux as he put the box down on the trunk.

As Millicent devoured the food he checked on Aidan and made sure that the blanket was covering him well. According to studies, 23.4% of babies need more warmth than others. He hadn’t concluded yet if Aidan was also part of that percentage but he was certain he would find out if he kept collecting data.

He pulled his pad out of this bag and activated it, typing in the time and the temperature of the weather. It was a warm spring day, 14.3 degree Celsius. The blanket probably added another 5-

“Enjoying the day by doing some math?” rang a voice out.

Hux blinked and looked up. Mircah and two of his friends were passing by and slowed their step until they stopped completely.

Hux wasn’t sure what the appropriate answer was so he decided to tell the truth. “It’s not mathematics. I’m just keeping track of the weather to know about the right temperature for Aidan.”

One of the pilots accompanying Mircah, a female Cathar, laughed. “You were right, Mircah. This guy is unbelievable - more droid than human.”

Hux frowned but didn’t reply, perhaps it was better to ignore them.

“I bet he’s drawing a progress chart for AH-0002,” sneered the other pilot, a light-skinned human man.

Hux got up and snarled, “Don’t call him that! His name is Aidan Tico!” Millie was startled by the sudden movement and jumped down, hissing with her ears pulled back.

“Easy, man,” replied Mircah, lifting his hand.

“He’s not like me,” hissed Hux. “He- he will be better than me. Much better.”

The man smirked. “That’s not so hard, is it? I hope you write that down, Hux. So that you can store it in your memory banks.”

“You know this is supposed to come naturally, right?” added the Cathar. “Who needs charts and statistics to be a parent?”

“That’s enough, guys,” said Mircah to his friends, tone firm.

Hux clenched his hands to fists. “You don’t get to make fun of my love for my son!” He hissed, ignoring Mircah. “Are you so dense that you think I don’t _know_ how pathetic this is? I don’t know how to be a father! And keeping track of everything, gathering data is the only reliable way I know. It’s all I have ever known!”

The pilots just stared at him and scoffed. Mircah gave him an odd look before they all left.

Hux sat back down on the tree trunk and realised that his hands were trembling.


	29. Old Habits Die Hard

Rose watched Armitage typing away on his pad after he had changed the diapers and smiled. He was so meticulous in writing everything down. It was moving how much he cared; he even adjusted the lighting in the room because he read that babies were sensitive to bright light.

“So, I’m going - see you later,” she called.

“Bye!” he said looking up from his pad as if he had been caught doing something naughty, grabbing the pad a bit harder than necessary.

She headed into the Cantina where Ebrima was already waiting for her. They hugged before they got a cup of caf and sat down in a corner.

“So, how are you holding up?” asked Ebrima with a smile. “I hope you get to sleep.”

Rose took a gulp of caf and sighed. “This hits the spot. Ah, I miss drinking caf.” Then she leaned forward. “We’re getting there, Aidan now sleeps a couple of hours a night before he wakes up and wants to eat.”

“Oh, how many hours?”

“Last week he averaged 4.3 hours, this week it’s up to 4.5 hours,” she chuckled. “As I said - we’re getting there. What about you? How are you doing?”

“Pretty good actually. I got the promotion I was hoping for.”

Rose smiled. “That’s great. So are you getting your own squadron?”

Ebri nodded. “The Blue Angels, back on Yavin 4. We’ll patrol the system in case one of the First Order splinter cells makes an appearance. If things go well I could even make sector commander.”

“Yavin 4, but that means… you’re leaving.”

She nodded with a sad smile. “Yeah, I’m kind of sad but then again… there aren’t many opportunities here. As far as I’m concerned the war is over. I gotta move on.”

Rose exhaled and leaned back. “I get it. We were holed up in this base for months and life moves on.”

Ebri shrugged. “My brother’s already gone, he found a job as a freighter pilot. Aish said he would stay a bit longer but I don’t see him staying any longer than a couple of months - max.” She took a gulp of her caf. “What about you? Have you thought about where you’ll go after all this ends?”

“I- I really haven’t thought about it,” Rose admitted. “I guess we were busy with Aidan and haven’t talked about it.” Ebri was right of course. Their quarters were small, there was barely enough room for two grown-ups and a baby. And a military base wasn’t a place to raise the child anyway.

“Well, what do you want to do?”

“I love fixing tech and Armitage loves it too so I guess we’ll try to work with that.” Corellia would be the place to be from a professional point of view. With its extensive tech industry there were bound to be interesting jobs.

They went for a walk after that - Dr. Kalonia had recommended light exercise. When Rose finally returned she heard someone calling out for her. To her surprise she saw Mircah approaching her.

“Rose, can I have a word with you?”

She frowned. “Sure, what is it?”

“I wanted to apologize to you about my part in today’s uh, quarrel.” He rubbed his neck. “I should just have kept my trap shut and I’m sorry.”

She blinked. “What?”

His eyes went wide. “Ah… he didn’t tell you?”

She crossed her arms. “Obviously not, care to tell me?”

Mircah blushed a little. “Well, uh, Syre, Ric and I saw Hux outside with that loth-cat and the baby. As usual he was typing something on his pad. So uh, I wanted to tease him about not enjoying the nice weather.”

“I guess that’s not all?” she asked sharply.

“We may have made some insensitive statements about Aidan being another Stormtrooper for Hux and that he was a cold droid for using all these notes instead just going by his guts.”

Rose lifted her chin and hissed. “You’re an asshole, you know that, right?”

“Rose-”

“I’m not finished yet. If you or any of your so-called friends ever even think about our son that way I will rip your damn head off. You don’t know shit about us so you should shut your gob.”

“I said that I’m sorry,” said Mircah with a pout.

“Yeah, well the next time you should think before you open our hole. And if you were really sorry you would apologize to Armitage and not to me!”

He opened his mouth to say something, hesitated and finally spoke. “You’re right of course. It was stupid but if I’m honest… I just can’t stand him. Seeing him here makes me angry, after everything he did he just pops up here and saves the day.” He wiped over his face. “I don’t expect you to understand, Rose. But I fought my whole life for the Resistance, I’m just an average pilot, I’m not an ace like Poe. I’m not a good shot like Ebri. But I always gave it my all but in the end it was not enough - it took the likes of Hux to track Ren’s shuttle and to improve our weapons.”

“I was there too, you know.” Rose crossed her arms. “And harassing him makes it all go away or what?”

Mircah sighed. “Of course not, but I just can’t help myself. But I know that I wasn’t supposed to drag Aidan into this.” He exhaled. “Again: I’m sorry… Don’t tell your mom, okay?” He turned and left.

Hux was giving Aidan his bottle and looked from time to time at his pad that was propped up right before him on the table. Rose smiled and sat down next to him on the bed. She glanced at the pad and saw animated pictures on how to hold a baby while feeding it.

His cheeks blushed and he quickly put out the display.

She gave him a peck on his mouth. “You don’t have to turn it off, you know.”

“I know how to hold him,” he said in a low voice. “I just wanted to check, to make sure that I’m doing it right.”

“I know.” She leaned against him, feeling his warmth through her shirt. “Mircah apologized to me for talking trash to you. I gave him a piece of my mind.”

He licked his lips. “I know that they were only trying to get under my skin. But… they’re right. It doesn’t come natural to me.”

She hugged him from behind and gave him a peck on his neck. “It doesn’t have to. And how could it anyway? You never saw people taking care of babies. Most of the stuff I do are just things I observed with my cousins.”

They fell silent for a few moments until Aidan had enough and stopped drinking, instead he looked at his parents with his dark brown eyes, blinking slowly.

“He really does look like you,” said Hux with a smile.

Rose stroked over Aidan’s ginger hair. “I’m pretty sure he takes after you.”

Hux lifted Aidan up and put a rag on his shoulder while softly patting his back until he burped. “Well, he has your eyes and he is your spitting image when he sleeps.”

Rose laughed, “Really? And he’s got your hair and your sceptical gaze. And I’m pretty sure he has your ears.”

He smiled but it faded a bit and he seemed pensive.

“Hey, I know what you think - but look at him. The most beautiful baby in the galaxy - he inherited our best parts,” she said and nudged him.

Hux got up and put Aidan in his hovering cradle, making sure that he was covered by the blanket before he sat back down on the bed. He took her hand and kissed it. “What if- what if he inherited our bad parts?” He had a harrowed look about him. “What if I can’t give him what he needs?”

She knew of course what he was really asking - what if Hux turned out to be like his father. “Do you still have the nightmares?” she asked.

He shrugged. “Of course.” He leaned back against the wall and pulled his legs up. “Mostly Starkiller. Sometimes I see what Ren showed me.”

Rose drew breath to say something but he quickly continued.

“I know that he didn’t show me what really happened. It’s just-” he grimaced, “I feel like there is poison running through my veins. And I’m scared that it will spill.”

She put her head on his chest and he massaged her scalp with his fingertips. “Everything can turn into poison, even medicine.” She listened to his heartbeat, calm and steady. “Nobody would have thought that Ben Solo would turn into Kylo Ren. I guess we just have to try not to kriff up too bad.”

He leaned down and kissed her. “You’re right.”

She cupped his cheeks. “Of course I am.”

Hux checked his room one more time, to make sure that he hadn’t forgotten anything. His sight fell on his fully packed grey bag and a box with his clothes in it. None of it belonged to him, they were all loans from the Rebels.

He took the box and the bag and headed out of the room he had occupied for the past two years - well, one of the rooms he occupied in the past years to be truthful. He spent a considerable amount of time in Rose’s quarters after all.

He walked down the hallway towards the hangar where the _Millenium Falcon_ was docked. When he passed by the Cantina he slowed his step before he turned around and headed inside. Sergeant Suta was cleaning the caf dispenser and turned when Hux stepped to the counter.

“Do you want a tea to go?” Suta asked with a smile as he put his hands on his hips.

“Uh, no. I just wanted to say good-bye,” said Hux. “I appreciated your kindness.” He stretched out his hand to shake hands.

Suta chewed on his toothpick staring at the outstretched hand. Hux realised that he had made a miscalculation. Slowly he lowered his hand. “Ah, well, then - I will be on my-”

Suta circled around the counter and pulled Hux in a short, forceful hug. Before Hux had time to react Suta had let go of him and patted him twice on the back. “See you around, Hux.”

“Good-bye,” said Hux one more time before he took his box and left.

When Captain Ebrima had left she had thrown a farewell party, she had hugged her friends and colleagues. Hux never thought that he would be in the same position when he would finally leave.

Rose had thrown a party too of course, Hux stayed in her room taking care of Aidan. She asked him to attend too but he replied that it was her party and he didn’t want to awkwardly hover around her while her friends told her how they would miss her and little Aidan.

As he walked into the hangar his thoughts lingered on the people he met during his stay. Was it rude to leave without saying good-bye? It couldn’t be rude if nobody would miss him. Well, perhaps Poe and Finn would miss him. Either way, it was far more sensible to spare people the impression that they were supposed to say goodbye to him like they cared.

He walked up the gangway inside the _Falcon_ and put his bag and his box in the cargo room, next to Rose’s boxes and suitcases with clothes for Aidan. And of course Millie’s transport box.

The longer he thought about it the more he was tempted to imagine who it would have been if he had attended Rose’s party. He could’ve said good-bye to Ebrima and Aish who was the next to leave. Perhaps he should have told Dr. Kalonia that he had appreciated her professionalism and the tea she brought him from Corellia a couple of months ago.

He inhaled. Perhaps he should visit her before he left.

Dr. Kalonia was sitting at her desk, scrolling through her pad when he entered.

“Doctor, thank you for your help and the excellent care for Aidan,” Hux said and stretched out his hand.

She got up and took his hand. Her grip was warm and firm. “Thank you for your help with the artificial limbs and for the help with the med droids. The updates made a huge difference.”

He cleared his throat. “Of course - I uh, goodbye doctor.”

When he walked out of the med bay he realised that he should extend his gratitude towards General Organa as well.

In hindsight it might’ve been better if he had at least showed up for the start of the party.

He found General Organa in her office, she was drinking tea and staring at the holo of the sector. Apparently she was observing a drill of the newly-built republic fleet.

“General Organa, might I have a word?”

She turned her attention towards him, a small smile on her lips. “General Hux… of course.”

“Forgive me, but that title isn’t accurate anymore.”

“I know, but old habits die hard.”

He glanced at the holo and then again at her. She looked regal and commanding as ever, even though or perhaps because her hair had become snow white. It was better not to offer to shake hands, it didn’t seem appropriate.

He clasped his hands behind his back and straightened himself. “I came to say good-bye, General. And to offer my gratitude for honouring our deal.”

She put both her hands on her crane and tilted her head a bit. “May I ask a favour?”

He frowned. “I don’t-”

“Can you forgive my son?”

He pressed his lips together. Forgiving Ren? One of the men personally responsible for his pain? For his nightmares? He looked up and saw Organa’s eyes, the same dark-brown shade like Ren’s. He pulled the corners of his mouth down. But they weren’t the same eyes, Organa’s had this deep melancholy in them he’d never seen before.

“I- yes, I forgive him,” he lied, holding his gaze, keeping his pulse low. It had fooled Ren often enough, it would fool her too.

Organa nodded. “Thank you, that means a lot to me.”

He denoted a bow. “General.” He turned on his heel and was on his way out of the room, perhaps it was his imagination but he felt her stare on his back.

When he returned to the hangar, Rose was already there, holding Aidan while talking to Chewbacca.

Aidan started to fuss and Rose put him down on the floor, he laughed and started to run towards a fighter. Hux gestured to Rose that he was keeping an eye on him and followed the boy as he stamped happily away on his little legs.

Just before he came too close to the fighter Hux caught him and lifted him up, drawing a noise of protest from Aidan.

“Are you interested in X-Wings?” asked Hux as he held him.

Aidan stared at him with his big brown eyes and said “Ip.”

“Yes, it’s a ship.” Hux held him in his arms and pointed at the wing. “This is a wing, it’s an updated version of the original X1-Wing.”

Aidan huffed.

“Indeed. I agree with you, the X3-Wings have trouble with the fuel injectors.”

Aidan stared at the wing with an open mouth. Reaching out with his small arms. Hux lifted him higher up so that he could touch the wing.

“It’s made of a durasteel alloy,” continued Hux, “but of course it’s an outdated concept. Carbon-base alloys are much lighter.”

The boy groped a screw nut of the wing and laughed. Hux smiled and tickled him a bit, drawing chorting noises from him. “Yes, it’s silly that they still-”

 _Silly boy, day-dreaming all day!_ For a moment Hux saw a meaty hand holding a black belt. For a fraction of a moment it was his own hand holding the belt.

Hux breath faltered for a moment, then he looked at the ginger haired boy in his arms, the toddler smiled at him, drooling a little. Did he look like that when he was a little boy? Did he smile with such openness at people?

Had his own father ever seen him like that? Had he ever considered what a miracle it was to have a child, to know that it was something he had made? He felt a small stab in his heart when he realised that his own father had never looked at him like he did at Aidan.

It wasn’t exactly a shocking revelation, but it hadn’t occurred to him before. He brushed over Aidan’s soft, fluffy hair, making him giggle again.

Hux knew, had always known that his father had been a cruel man. But the depth of Brendol Hux’s inhumanity gave him pause. He looked at his own son with so much contempt that it sometimes darkened his ice-blue eyes, had disciplined a small child with physical violence until its back was red and bloody.

Who could do that? What kind of person could do that to his own child? Hux pressed his lips together and took Aidan in a firmer grip. It didn’t matter anymore, his father was long dead. What mattered was another realisation that came with the first one: He would never call his son names, tell him that he was weak, worthless, never raise his hand against him. He knew because when he looked at Aidan his heart became full, it almost seemed to burst with pride, love and the need to keep all harm from him.

Even Ren with all his mind tricks wouldn’t change that. He was also rotting in his grave, all that was left of him were nightmares. His thought returned to General Organa. No, that was not all that was left of Ren. There was somebody who had loved him, did perhaps still love him.

Hux realised that he made a mistake.

Hux gave Aidan a tender kiss on his forehead. “Let’s head back.”


	30. New Beginnings and Goodbyes

Chewie patted Rose on the back and headed inside the _Falcon_ to begin the pre-flight preparations. She rubbed her hands on her pants as if they were dirty, she was a tad nervous.

She’d never been on Dantooine before, but according to the holos it was nice. Green fields, tall trees and soon it’ll also feature Rey’s Force user academy.

Hux returned with Aidan and gave her a peck on the lips. “I take it we will depart soon?”

She nodded. “Chewie said that everything is loaded in the cargo bay. We can depart on time.”

He smiled nervously. “Have you checked if we have enough Nx-chips for the first few weeks? I checked our list but perhaps we should reconsider the amount.”

It seemed that she wasn’t the only one feeling anxious about the change. She put her hand on his upper arm and pulled him down for another kiss. “We have everything we need.”

Aidan said loudly “ip!”.

She took Aidan from Hux and gave him a kiss too. “See, he agrees.”

“I think he might just be excited to see the _Falcon_ up close,” replied Hux.

Rose noticed that her mother was approaching them. She cleared her throat. “I need to talk to my mother for a bit.”

He glanced over his shoulder and watched her come closer. “I need to take care of something too. Can I leave Aidan with you?”

“Of course, you know how much my mom adores him.”

Hux gave Thanya a nod and headed out of the hangar.

Her mother beamed at Aidan. “My sweet boy! I swear you’ve grown even more handsome since I last saw you!” Rose gave him to her mother who took him and started to rock him slightly.

“So, I know that I could’ve handled our last talk better,” began Rose and leaned against a supply crate. She crossed her arms. “I’ve given it a great deal of thought and I apologize for not telling you earlier that we would move to Dantooine. I’m sorry, okay? It’s just- it happened so fast and when the opportunity presented itself we decided to take it.”

Thanya sighed. “I know, Ro-Ro. I just thought we could stay together - as a family.”

“I get it, but mom… you know that we just would keep on fighting, right?”

Her mother sighed. “I try not to fight, but I’m your mother and I think I’m allowed to tell you-”

“-tell me that I should make sure to lose some weight after having a child?” Rose pinched her nose. “You don’t get to say mean stuff just because you’re my mother.”

“It’s not mean. I want to help you.”

Stars! It was as if she liked talking in circles. “Look, we have been over this. Either way we’re leaving for Dantooine.” She exhaled. “We’re driving each other crazy. But that’s alright, you know. I love you. And you love me. We’re just not good at showing it sometimes.”

Her mother blinked and straightened her back. “I’m trying, Ro-Ro. I really am.”

Rose hugged her mother. “I know, mom. I know.”

“Just promise to call me. And call me if you need help. You know I would jump on the next ship and fly over.” Thanya rubbed Rose’s back. “I love you so so much.” Her hand clenched Rose’s shirt.

Rose sniffled. “I know mom, should another powerful Sith show up I’ll call you right away.”

Thanya laughed and sniffled too. Aidan started to whine, apparently he didn’t like the hugging.

Thanya let go of Rose and lifted Aidan up in the air. “What is it, little one?”

Aidan started to wiggle and she put him down on the floor. As fast as his little legs carried him he marched towards the fighter he had admired before.

Rose wiped over her eyes. “I bet he is going to be a pilot, just like Paige.”

Her mother smiled. “Or perhaps he will become an engineer just like you and Armitage.”

They followed Aidan, watching him as he looked up at the wing in awe.

“Have you thought about a sibling for Aidan?” asked Thanya.

“It’s too early. Armitage needs to get used to everything first and-” Rose hesitated for a moment. “Did you know that he killed his own father?”

Thanya crossed her arms. “Yes, I heard about it from Leia.”

Rose crooked her eyebrow. “She told you?”

“Truth be told… I asked her what she thought about him.” She looked Rose straight in the eye. “It was even before you told me that you were with him. I just wanted to know what kind of man was working with my daughter.”

“I wasn’t aware that Leia knew.”

Thanya pulled the corners of her mouth down. “She told me that she sensed conflict from him, that he was sharp and soft at the same time. I didn’t understand it back then but now I think I do.” She went to Aidan and lifted him up so that he could trace the hydraulics of the landing gear.

“A double-edged sword,” said Rose in a low voice. “Perhaps everyone is like that. I mean… we can all do horrible deeds and at the same time we are capable of so much good.”

Thanya put Aidan back down and turned to face Rose. “Sometimes doing something can be both.” She put her hands on her hips. “I haven’t properly talked to Leia since… since I killed Ren… since I killed her son.”

“Can you imagine that? Waging war against your own child?”

Thanya gave her a sad smile. “I’m pretty sure that it was he who was waging a war against her, not the other way around. Either way - she loved him until the end. That’s why she couldn’t kill him herself.”

“I think you should talk to her.”

Thanya shook her head. “I don’t need to be Force sensitive to know that she doesn’t want to see me. She’s grieving, as would I were I in her place.”

Rose sat on a nearby fuel canister, rubbing her hands against her trousers. “I think she’s grieving for the son she lost to Snoke years ago, not the thing that lies buried in the dirt of this planet.” She cleared her throat. “I don’t know what happened to Ben Solo, but it had to end one way or another and I think she knew that too. That’s why she called the Operation ‘Skyfall’. She wanted to bring an end to the people that walked in the sky, thinking that they were more valuable than other beings in the galaxy.”

“Huh, never thought about that.”

“It makes sense, doesn’t it? The Empire, the Order and their ilk think that they and their opinions are more important than others, that they have a right to conquer the galaxy. Maybe this was Ben Solo’s downfall, he thought that only he was special. That everybody else was supposed to be the supporting character to his grand drama.”

“What grand drama would that be?” asked her mother, still watching Aidan as he sat down on the floor and touched the landing clamps next to the ship.

Rose shrugged. “I don’t know. I just got this feeling that it was all about him, that nobody was allowed to be more than what he wanted. Rey was supposed to be his love but all he did was forcing her to come to him, expecting her to bow to him. Just as Armitage was supposed to be his subordinate, so he used mind tricks to revert him back into somebody he didn’t want to be anymore.”

“Maybe you’re right, but we’ll never know. He’s dead and Leia is the last of her family now.” She scoffed. “Huh, we really are alike. If I hadn’t killed her son you wouldn’t be here anymore, and so would Aidan.”

“Go talk to her,” said Rose. “She has so few friends left. And if she really doesn’t want to see you she will tell you.”

Thanya crooked her eyebrow. Rose noticed that in that moment she looked a lot like Rose herself. “My my my, you really have grown, Ro-Ro. Giving advice to your old mother.”

Rose grimaced. “It took me a while to understand that people need to talk, I guess I inherited your social skills.”

“And my charms.”

“If you mean being unable to tell the man I love that I like him ‘charms’... then yeah.”

Thanya smiled. “Your father had to ask me twice to be his girlfriend. The first time I didn’t understand his meaning when he invited me to a concert. I thought he just wanted company.”

Rose sighed. “Are all Tico women this dense?”

“No, we’re just a little pig-headed sometimes. And are singularly focussed on one thing at a time. And a bit selfish.”

“Stars, we’re quite horrible, aren’t we?”

Her mother nodded. “The worst.”

General Organa was still where Hux had last seen her. The holo was off and she sat in her office, apparently reading something on her pad.

He knocked softly at the door frame. “General Organa, may I have another word with you?”

She looked up, he noticed that she looked tired, her face seemed paler than before. She managed to smile. “Of course. What is it?”

He realised that he hadn’t thought of what he actually wanted to say. “I- uh, I wanted to apologize to you.” He came in and sat down in front of her. “I lied when I said that I forgave Ren.”

Not a muscle in her face moved, she just looked at him. At first he didn’t recognize the expression or rather the non-existing expression but then he remembered. It was the expression people wore on the worlds the Order had occupied. It was defeat.

She exhaled. “You’re an exceptional liar. I didn’t even sense deceit.”

“I’m afraid I picked up that habit when I started to work with Force users.”

“Why even tell me? About the lie I mean?”

“Because I realised that you deserve more than a lie.” He sat up straighter. “I thought that telling a lie would be… kinder than telling the truth. But telling lies isn’t kind, it’s insulting for a woman like you.”

Her eyes went wide. “A woman like me?”

“Back in the Order we had extensive files on every known Rebel. Our intelligence agency marked every file with A, B or C depending on the danger the person posed. Your file was the only one marked with A++, even Master Skywalker had only an A+.” He leaned forward in his chair. “According to your file you’re highly intelligent, cunning and charismatic. The analysts also noted your exceptional mental strength. That’s what I meant by ‘a woman like you’.”

Her lips curled up to a thin smile. “I imagine there were also less flattering reports about me.”

“There weren’t. Even Snoke had to admit that you were a formidable opponent, the most dangerous enemy of the Order.”

“That’s what our secret service said about you,” a spark came back in her eyes. She sat up a bit straighter. “That you were highly intelligent, ruthless and one of the most dangerous officers in the Order. After Starkiller and the hyper-space tracker they changed that to the most dangerous officer in the First Order.”

Hux suppressed the urge to tell her that the reports were probably imprecise in their assessment of his intelligence. But it wasn’t important now. “I imagine that you asked me to forgive Ren because that’s what’s proper and right, isn’t it?” He paused for a moment, trying to find the right words. “Well, I don’t expect forgiveness for my crimes and neither can Ren. Redemption isn’t something to be handed out, it’s something to be earned through a lifetime. And Ren never asked for forgiveness because he didn’t want redemption, he wanted revenge for something beyond my understanding.”

He paused again before he continued. “It’s not your place to ask forgiveness for Ren. You should be angry at him for killing your husband, for the countless lives he has taken. And you should call him Kylo Ren because that is who he was.”

General Organa got up and grabbed her crane. Her lips were set in a thin line. “How dare you? Of course it’s my place to ask forgiveness for the deeds of Ben! He is- was my son!”

“His decisions were his own,” rebutted Hux. “I thought the Republic doesn’t believe in clan custody, so how can you be responsible for him?”

“He’s my boy! I brought him into this world and I failed him!” she pressed out.

“Was it then Han Solo’s own fault that he was killed?” asked Hux calmly.

Organa frowned. “Han died because I asked him to try to get Ben back. Of course it wasn’t his fault!”

“But it’s yours?” asked Hux, voice clipped.

“Spare me your Imperial sneer!” hissed Organa. “I’m his mother! A man wouldn’t understand - the bond between a child and his mother.” She pressed her hand against her chest. “ _I_ carried him for nine months, he was a part of me and he will always be.”

Hux felt a stab in his chest at the mention of the special bond between mother and child but he steeled himself and continued. “So if my mother could come before you, you would think she is responsible for Starkiller?”

Organa’s anger vanished from her face. “What?”

“You heard me. Do you think my mother is responsible for Starkiller? Isn’t that the logic here?”

She gulped. and gripped her craned so hard that her knuckles turned white. “That’s different.”

“How?”

She licked her lips, opened her mouth to speak and closed it again. Finally she opened her mouth again and said, “Your mother didn’t have a choice with the First Order, I did - I gave Ben to the Jedi Order willingly.”

“So Ren and I were both part of an Order that takes young children from their parents and raised them according to their principles. Then why am I sitting here and not Ren?”

Again she seemed at a loss for words. “I- you decided…” she broke off and her grip on her crane weakened. Then she looked up. “It seems that your file was incomplete, they forgot to add your way with words.”

“It’s not about rhetoric, it’s about logic.” He got up from his chair and reached inside his grey bag, pulling out a sheath with his monocellular blade and put it on her desk. “You won, you defeated the Order so I thought you should have this.”

She took the sheath and turned it around, looking at it from different angles. “What is it?”

“It’s the blade I used to wear in the Order. I bought it after I had killed my father. I killed fellow officers with it and used it too when I helped Rose and the others to escape. I thought I had lost it but Ren gave it back to me with the new uniform when he tried to manipulate me.”

“A symbolic gift then.”

“I wanted to leave it behind with the uniform but I thought it was a fitting metaphor for ties one has to cut or even ties that have been cut off by someone else.” He clasped his hands behind his back. “I suspect you don’t collect trophies, otherwise it could also serve as one.”

She looked at him, a thin, sad smile spreading on her lips. “Thank you - for being candid.”

“Good-bye General Organa,” he said with a slight nod of his head.

When he returned to the hangar he noticed with surprise that Finn and Poe were standing in front of Rose and her mother. They had probably come to say their goodbyes to Rose once again.

Hux stepped behind Rose and brushed her fingertips with his.

“Ah, Hugs, there you are,” said Poe with a lopsided grin. “We missed you at the farewell party, so we thought we could say our goodbyes now.”

Hux blinked. “Ah, I- I wasn’t aware that you were looking for me.” A long time ago he would have thought that Poe was joking but now he knew that he was serious.

“Of course,” he stepped forward and pulled Hux into a tight hug and slapped his hand a few times on his back. “Take care, Hugs.”

“Uh, thank you - you too… Poe.”

Poe beamed at Finn. “Did you hear that? Awww, he finally used my first name.”

Finn smiled. “You’re a dork, you know that?” Then he turned to Hux and offered him his hand.

Hux took it and shook it. “Thank you, Finn. I appreciate you being here.”

“Of course, you saved the man I love twice. It’s the least I can do.”

Rey and Chewie, who was holding Aidan, walked down the ramp of the _Falcon_.

Rey pulled Finn in an embrace. “I’m gonna miss you guys so much!”

Finn laughed and lifted her up in the air. “Don’t worry, we’ll come visit. And remember not to be too strict on your students.”

“It’ll be a while until the first one’s can even attend - we need to build everything first.”

He put her down on her feet. “I thought Kaydel had already everything prepared?”

“She bought a piece of land near the capital with old farmhouses on it. I imagine we need to renovate them first.”

“Don’t worry,” said Rose, “Armitage and I already have plans to remodel droids to help us.”

Rey put her arm on Rose’s shoulder. “Thank you!”

They all said their goodbyes and to his surprise Thanya Tico gave him a box. “It’s sliced fruit,” she said. “You need to eat more. And don’t forget to take regular breaks from work.”

He smiled and gave her an awkward hug. “Thank you, Thanya. I really appreciate it.”

She lifted her chin. “And don’t forget to prepare rolls for Ro, the way I showed you!” She blinked, her eyes seemed moist. “And don’t forget to add enough soya sauce.”

They boarded the _Falcon_ , Finn, Poe and Thanya waved as they took off.

Hux sat behind Rey in the cockpit and watched the stars fly by, Rose was holding Aidan in her lap and explained to him the meaning of the colourful lights around him. “And that’s the auxiliary power converter.” She leaned down and whispered in his ear, making him giggle. “Mommy updated it yesterday, yes she did! It took her only an hour and three WR-augments.”

Aidan cooed.

Hux looked at them and couldn’t help but smile. His heart was filled with pride and love. They were on their way to a new life, and the woman he loved was with him.

He hadn’t to face the galaxy alone. Not anymore.


	31. Epilogue

Rose wiped sweat off her brow as she kneeled in the mud next to the harvester droid, fixing its chain drive. Stars, the sun seemed particularly hot today! She wiped her oily hands on a rag and got up.

“Off you go, buddy.”

The droid honked and began to move with a low humming sound, cutting and collecting the grain on the field. A light wind blew over the field, making the golden grain sway softly that it almost looked like a sea. Tall trees and plains with tall green grass spread out into the horizon. In the distance she could hear melodious mating calls from flutterplumes. She took her tool kit and walked towards the settlement in the east.

On her way she encountered little Demiras with her father, she waved at them and continued her way to the round wooden house on the top of a small hill. Millie was sleeping on the bench on the porch, just next to the rose garden Armitage had planted when they arrived three years ago. That meant that Armitage was in the house, Millie would follow him everywhere, like an orange, not very stealthy shadow.

She took her boots off and went in the kitchen. She saw a plate with a lid on it. She lifted it and took a few grapes before she ventured in the workshop in the back of the house.

Armitage was drawing up blueprints for the new training droids for Rey’s students, Aidan was sitting next to him on his own chair, drawing his own ‘blueprints’ - pictures of animals he had seen on the holo.

“Hey,” she said and gave Armitage a kiss on the crown of his head.

He turned in his chair and gave her a proper kiss. “Morning - you were up early.”

“Yeah, I wanted to fix the harvester before noon. But you already knew that, right? Thanks for the breakfast box you put in the conversator.”

Armitage took her hand and kissed it. “I can’t let you starve, right?”

Aidan showed her his drawing, it appeared to be a nexu. “Mom, look!” He beamed at her.

She bent down and gave him a kiss on the forehead. “That’s great - is it for me or for dad?”

The boy frowned. “It’s… it’s for you. I’ll draw another for dad later!”

Rose took it and put it on the scanner, moments later the picture was uploaded onto the picture gallery of the house. From the corner of her eye she saw how the holoframe on the far end of the workshop changed and displayed the nexu drawing.

“What’s for lunch?” asked Rose.

“Arkanian beef with rice,” replied Armitage. “I read about it and thought I should try it.”

“Sounds great, Aidan - go wash up. We’ll eat soon.”

Aidan hurried out of the workshop, she could hear him run up the stairs. Then she turned her attention to Armitage. “Come here, you… did you order grapes for me?” She grabbed him at his lapels and pulled him in another, more passionate kiss.

He hummed and broke the kiss. “As already stated… I can’t let you starve,” he whispered in that silky voice of his. He let his hands wander over her butt and squeezed it a little. By the Force, how did he do it? How can he be so sexy even when saying something so mundane?

“You’re a tease,” she replied and ran her hands over his chest. “Aidan is upstairs getting ready for lunch.”

He crooked his eyebrow. “But he is going on a playdate in the early afternoon - Aiko’s mom has invited him over.”

She kissed him again. “Seems Aidan isn’t the only one with a playdate this afternoon.”

Armitage laughed and together they headed in the kitchen.

Aidan ate the last spoonful of rice, Rose smiled at him and ran her hand through his ginger hair. “Are you excited for tomorrow?”

He frowned a little and Rose noticed that in that moment he looked a little like Armitage when he was musing about something. “I don’t know.”

“It’s your first day of school, surely you’re curious,” asked Armitage and started to collect the empty plates.

Aidan took his favorite plush animal - a blue nerf that was already a bit tattered - and started to pet it. “Will Aiko be there too?”

“Of course she will, all your friends will be there,” said Rose. “Besides, you just have to go in the morning and you’re home for lunch - together with your friends. It’s our turn to cook lunch for everybody, remember?”

“But Aiko has to go back in the afternoon,” said Aidan while still petting Nerfie.

“That’s right - she has some extra classes because she’s Force sensitive,” replied Rose. “But you can play with her before dinner, honey.”

Aidan grabbed Nerfie and was already halfway out of the kitchen when he asked, “Can I go?”

“Yes, of c-” was all Armitage managed before the boy bolted to the vestibule to put on his shoes.

“Stars, someone is eager to play with his dolls,” laughed Rose. She got up and activated the cleaning droid. “You’re spoiling him, you know? You don’t need to bring him gifts every time you go off planet.”

Armitage stepped behind her and nuzzled her neck, giving her a soft kiss. “I know - but he loves them so much.”

She turned around and grabbed him by his buttocks, pulling him close. She bit her lips and pressed herself against him. “What about our own playdate, Mr. Tico?”

“You are insatiable, Mrs. Tico,” he murmured and pushed her against the kitchen table, making her groan as he pressed his fingers between her legs.

“That’s Lieutenant Tico to you,” she said, breath already a little ragged.

He started to rub her clit through her pants. “Of course, Lieutenant Tico. Too bad that I’m a General. Perhaps I should inspect your bunk - see if everything is according to regulation.”

She hissed in pleasure. “You really are a tease, General.”

Slowly he unbuttoned her shirt, brushing over her bra, kissing her mouth, her neck and her collarbone. “Perhaps a closer inspection is called for,” he said in an apparently calm voice. But Rose could hear the familiar shiver of lust making him a bit coarse.

He unhooked her bra and she slid out of her shirt and bra, he continued to kiss her, this time from the collarbone then down to her full breasts, nipping at one nipple while massaging the other with his left hand.

Rose sucked in breath, feeling herself getting wet. Stars! Why had he stopped rubbing her clit, now it ached even more than before. She reached down and unzipped his pants, pulling them down so that she could reach inside his boxers and grab his already stiff dick.

The reaction came immediately as he let go of her breast and moaned. “That’s insubordina-aaaah.”

Rose’s hand stroked his dick with a firm grip. “Seems that you’re standing at attention for a mere Lieutenant, General. That’s hardly appropriate…” she quickened her pace, “... is it?”

He moaned again before he lifted her up and put her on the kitchen table. She was taken aback and let go of him, he used the moment of surprise and pulled her pants down to her knees. Then grabbed her legs and lifted them up so that he could hold them with his left hand by the fabric of the pants while he slid his right hand under her thin panties.

She sucked in air, groaning in anticipation. He went straight for the little nub and started to rub it faster than she had anticipated, eliciting another moan from her.

She wanted to spread her legs properly to grant him better access but the pants around her knees made that impossible. He stopped his ministration and teased her pussy with two fingers, pushing them in only enough to almost enter her but not enough to give her that full feeling she craved. The only sounds were their panting and slick noises as he pleasured her, it made her even more excited - so lewd, hot and exciting.

She wiggled a little to get out of the damn pants finally- her train of thought was interrupted when he pushed the tips of his fingers in.

Stars! She tried to grind against his fingers, to get them farther in but he held her in place, pulling the finger out only to return rubbing her clit.

She groaned in frustration. “Armi- Armitage… you’re such a tease.”

He chuckled darkly. “You love it, don’t you?”

She glanced at him, his hair was a mess, his cheeks were flushed and his leaking cock looked like it was even bigger than before. He looked so delicious like this. “Of course I do, and now come her and fuck me properly… General.”

“You wish is my command, Lieutenant,” he said with a ragged breath and with one jerk he pulled the pants off her and pulled her to the edge of the table and entered her with one quick thrust. They both groaned and he began with long slow thrusts, making her feel hot and full before his pace became erratic and he pounded her so hard that they both came in a matter of seconds.

He leaned over her and peppered her face with kisses as they enjoyed the afterglow. Then he helped her up. “I think you’re the tease out of the two of us by the way.”

She pulled her panties up. “Says the man who knows how to drive me crazy with a few touches.”

He handed her the pants and pulled up his own. “It’s the way you look at me, there’s something in your eyes… it makes me hot and cold at the same time. I just can’t help myself.”

She laughed and programmed the cleaning droid to wipe the whole kitchen. With a beeping noise it activated and went about it’s business.

She went over to him and pulled him down for another kiss. “It’s a vicious cycle, isn’t it? I look at you like that because you are the smartest and the most handsome man I have ever laid eyes on - causing you to be a tease…”

He smiled and ran his hand through her hair. “We are doomed, aren’t we?”

“Yes we are,” she gave him a slap on his butt. “Come on, General - time for a shower.”

Hux could feel the cool wind in his face and the biting smell of burnt wood was in his nostrils as he stared in the sky. The brilliant, bright red beam before him made him shudder. With a jerk he woke up.

Rose stirred next to him, he leaned over and gave her a peck on the back of her head. “It’s just a dream,” he whispered with a slightly trembling voice. “Just a dream.”

With a huff she turned to face him, it was dark but he still could see her eyes. He cupped her cheek. “Go back to sleep, love.”

“Come on, Armitage - I know that you have to calm down first before you can go back to sleep.” She sat up. “I need to go pee anyway, might as well drink a cup of honey milk on the porch.”

“If it’s chilly we can always go in the kitchen,” he said with a smile and put his hand on her pregnant belly, caressing it lovingly.

She laughed. “You don’t know if it happened that time in the kitchen. Might as well been in the workshop after I helped you with the shielding or back at the lake.”

“Alright, alright… I’ll go get the milk and the tea.” He swung his legs out of the bed and went down to the kitchen to prepare everything.

He noticed that he was already a lot calmer - Rose always had that effect on him. He didn’t know how she did it - perhaps it was her reassuring presence.

Armitage felt guilty like always when she woke up because of him, but he had to admit that he loved these quiet moments in the night, when the hot summer air was cooler but still mild enough to be on the porch.

He put a teaegg in the hot water and went back up, quietly he opened the door to Aidan’s room and snuck inside. This was another thing he loved; watching his son sleep. He took Nerfie from the floor and tucked it back into Aidan’s bed, pulling the duvet up to cover both of them. Then he went back to the kitchen and took the teaegg out of the mug.

Rose was already on the porch wrapped in a light blanket. He handed her the hot honey milk and sat down next to her.

“Can you feel it?” she asked and placed his hand on her belly.

He could feel soft kicks from within and leaned over to kiss her. “Is it my imagination or are those kicks stronger than Aidan’s?” he asked.

She took a gulp of milk and caressed her belly. “I think so too - I bet it’s a girl.”

He chuckled and blew on his hot tea. “Did your mother tell you that?”

“She did - she called yesterday by the way and told me to remind you to take good care of me.”

He kissed her again, tasting the sweet milk on her lips. “You want me to rub your feet?”

She put her head on his shoulder and took his hand. “No, let’s just stay like this for a moment.”

“I saw Rey today… she was in the quarry, chasing lizards,” he said with a chuckle. “I think she means business with the lizard stew this time.”

Rose groaned. “Stars, I love her but just thinking about the last Jakku speciality she offered us back a Lifeday makes my stomach turn. I didn’t even know that people ate gundark ears.”

A pair of reflecting eyes appeared in the rose garden and with a loud “Mraaauu” Millie closed in on the porch and jumped on the bench and rolled up on his lap. He scratched her behind her ears, making her purr in contentment.

He put his other arm around Rose and softly caressed her. “It’s almost sunrise. Do you think we should go back to bed?”

“Nah, we can take a nap in the afternoon. This way we can get a headstart. I promised Rey to fix the programming of the protocol droid in charge of teaching the kids Huttese.” She yawned and emptied her mug. “Apparently they tinkered with it so that it would teach them curse words.”

He crooked his eyebrow. “I thought half of Huttese consisted of swear words?”

She laughed and punched him in the upper arm. “Seems to me that you should attend a class or two and learn that Huttese is actually a very melodic language.”

“Alright, alright - I’m sorry,” he laughed and pulled her closer to him, so that he could smell her scent and feel her warmth.

They sat a while in silence, watching the stars in the dark night sky fade slowly away until the dawn slowly painted the horizon in a bright red-orange colour.

“Uma ji muna,” said Rose quietly and gave him a peck on his cheek.

“I love you too.”

_The End_


End file.
